Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Dreamer_in_SC
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 349
Should money be a consideration in a relationshipPage 14 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

How many Phds know the following; what happens to photons that enter a black hole, how to cure cancer, the answer to why does bad things happen to good people, how a space craft can travel between the stars in a matter of seconds, what is the meaning of life and where did it start, how a yogi can levitate or how a guy in india can meditate for six months without food or water and still be alive and healthy in terms of physics, how to guarantee a successful relationship or how to be the best possible parent to your child and guarantee their happiness as an adult. I don't know one Phd who can answer one of those questions let alone all of them. So yes, I do not have a Phd 'degree'. I have something


So for $200 an hr you will be teaching people these things? How many hours will it take?

Hey i am all for self education. I am self educated myself. I did go to school but I did not complete it. Some of the things you talk about however are not based in reality.

Since you touched on a few subjects that I have focused on you have me curious. You list "How a space craft can travel between the stars in a matter of seconds"

That is a very bold statement to make. So please enlighten us just how do you plan on making that happen without any money? How do you plan on getting that space craft off of the earths surface? My grandfather had a bytch of a time with that issue. I too had issues. Since i do have a little knowledge about such a topic I can feel confident saying that you may want to rethink what you think you know.

I have raised my son since he was a baby he is now 12 years old and very smart. So when a guy like you says a statement like this.

how to be the best possible parent to your child and guarantee their happiness as an adult.


I am qualified to tell you that if you think you have that knowledge, yet you admit to not caring for your child, you do not have that knowledge.

I bit my tongue and didn't say anything when those women were bashing you about the child support issues simply because they are like broken records on those topics. Many of those women are truly idiots on those topics and it is not worth responding to them because they would not have a clue at all. They think raising a child is all about money.

That is a topic that would stray this one WAY off topic to even touch on though.

However, for someone to claim to have any answers on raising a child into an in my opinion is nuts because just the way this world works in different areas can dramatically alter your results.

Example... There are a few women on this site that are raising their grand children. They THINK they would be doing the right thing in life by doing so. The issue i have is their parenting skills are clearly in question. They raised their children and failed to raise their children into functional members of society but that does not stop them from thinking they are the best choice to try it again with their grand kids. You know what they say about insanity. It is doing the same things over and over again expecting a different result. If you screwed up raising your own children resulting in them having issues raising their children then the correct course of action should not be for you to try again by raising the grand kids. The correct course should be to fix your mistakes you made the first time around by doing everything to correct the issues your own child is having that prevents them from being a good parent.

I ran into this myself. I had some health issues awhile back that caused me issues for a few years. Instead of my mother and step father being there for me to help get through those troubles they wanted to try to take my son. between the 2 of them they have like 10 kids that are all adults. They had 10 chances to get it right and yet not one of those 10 and yes i am including myself in that is a valued member of society.

Every one of us has issues in life. So far though my son is an awesome kid. Nobody else can lay claim to his upbringing. I have been single for most of his life and my main focus in life has been to raise him.

So if you claim to have the knowledge about how to raise your child and yet everyday is not spent with that child i will call bullshyt on that. I have put my own hopes and dreams on hold so that i could be there for my child. If you think any parent out here will respect you when you say that you are not the one raising your child, i am sorry but that just is not going to happen.

I would love to finish this post but unfortunately it is 6:30 am. I have to get going and head to work because my son needs some new shoes, a new coat and his birthday and Christmas is coming up and wants a PS3 and a flat screen TV. Nobody else is gonna buy it for him and Santa is a broke loser so that means i have to get to work so this roof stays over our head and he has things he would like so that he can smile, laugh, have fun and we can spend time together playing some of those video games together because that is what he is into at the moment. Since i am his father and my job is to teach him about life that means i have to do it on his terms which means i have to sit down and play those games with him to have the time to KNOW him.

Just my opinions.... Hopefully that might cause i light bulb moment for you dude.... It isn't the money man... it is how it is utilized and what is possible with it.
 inthroughtheoutdoor
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 351
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 4:31:18 AM

Technically, if you want to know by degree I'm a high school drop out with a G.E.D.

That's what I thought but I couldn't find the post. But here it is, in black and white.

It says "education" not "degree".

Semantics. A PhD is a degree achieved, not imagined.

How many Phds know the following; what happens to photons that enter a black hole, how to cure cancer, the answer to why does bad things happen to good people, how a space craft can travel between the stars in a matter of seconds, what is the meaning of life and where did it start, how a yogi can levitate or how a guy in india can meditate for six months without food or water and still be alive and healthy in terms of physics, how to guarantee a successful relationship or how to be the best possible parent to your child and guarantee their happiness as an adult. I don't know one Phd who can answer one of those questions let alone all of them. So yes, I do not have a Phd 'degree'.

If you think you know the cure for cancer or how a space craft can travel between stars in minutes, oh pardon me, in seconds, you are clearly delusional. And maybe you should consider that maybe just maybe there's a bit of truth in this...

People often times think I'm crazy.

...and get the appropriate help you need. And I mean that sincerely. I have personal experience with this and it's something that's close to my heart. You (or others) may think there is no harm in your delusions spilling over into real life but just the fact that you are falsifying your credentials and passing yourself as a doctor could lead someone to actually believe you are and forgo seeing a REAL professional.

What you're doing is in fact borderline criminal and the minute that PhD or any false credentials is put behind ANY advice (medical, psychological, etc.) you may give, you can be charged AND held liable for the consequences of your actions.

This is serious and has the potential of causing great harm, even death. This isn't lying about age, weight or height which is a piss-off but to my recollection, no one has ever been harmed or died as a result of being lied about those things.

The only saving grace in all of this is that you are so "out there" that the vast majority of people won't be fooled for one minute by your credentials OR what are clearly delusions.

However, there are tons of people who are on the fringe of society for various reasons, people like my daughter even...people who are vulnerable, sick, weak, lonely, invisible... and it makes ill to my stomach to think that some of those people could fall victim to your lies and deceptions and be further harmed in the process.

There's also the grave danger that one or many of those people (like my daughter) could be talked into quitting taking her medication which for some means that they could be harmful both to themselves AND to others.

You have said on this and other threads that you don't believe in traditional medicine and that psychiatric treatment/medication was hogwash so it's not a stretch for me to think that's exactly what you would do with someone like my daughter who gawd forbid should ever cross your path.

I have dealt with people like you ALL of my life...people who would exploit the mentally ill for their own greedy and/or perverted purposes and while I realise that you too are clearly in need of help, it doesn't take away the fact that you are also in a position to potentially cause great harm to many people.

As for money when considering a relationship...clearly sometimes money and most everything else takes second place to considering other more pressing matters when considering chatting and possibly meeting someone. This is but ONE example of who and what's behind a profile and although it's an extreme case, it's still should serve as warning. Anyway, time for coffee (bought and paid for my me) ... no entitled golddigging princess here no sirrreee.
 inthroughtheoutdoor
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 352
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 5:34:38 AM

There are a few women on this site that are raising their grand children. They THINK they would be doing the right thing in life by doing so. The issue i have is their parenting skills are clearly in question. They raised their children and failed to raise their children into functional members of society but that does not stop them from thinking they are the best choice to try it again with their grand kids.


Hold on a minute. I am one of those woman you speak of...I didn't fail or improperly raised my daughter - she is ill. Severely so. In fact, and as I have said previously, her many doctors are baffled by how aggressive and how difficult it is to treat her illness.....she is by far one of the sickest and saddest case that I have ever seen or known and for you to come here and even suggest that I her mother caused this in any way shape or form is ludicrous.

I also know several other grand-parents who are raising their grand-children, at least two on this board whose daughters DIED. I may not be a perfect parent but do NOT project your own issues that you had with YOUR parents on the rest of us.

I have an older daughter who is a good, kind, physically and mentally healthy productive member of society - both my children AND my granddaughter have won several awards for various academic, personal and community achievements and until the dreaded disease that started to take over my youngest daughter's mind at puberty, she was in an advanced program at school because she was considered gifted.

I cannot believe some of the things I read on these boards sometimes. I could say more because I remember you from previous profile(s) but I'll keep my mouth shut - suffice to say that you are in no position to judge anyone OR to think you even know the definition of insanity.

As for the topic of this thread which was about money and relationships (I apologise for deviating but some things cannot be left unaddressed)...I believe it's all been said and I stand by my earlier posts. Money is a necessary tool to get through this life, it is not the only tool you'll need or necessarily the most important one but just the same, it is one of the many tools required to survive and prosper in this world.

 callwilliam
Joined: 9/14/2011
Msg: 353
view profile
History
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 8:53:40 AM
"Should money be a consideration in a relationship"

Wow! This thread has gone all over the place.

I think if we level the playing field and start with this assumption: "The world does not owe a person a single thing", then we come up with the next question.

How does a person get money to buy things?

The way the world really works, it seems, is to form a relationship (read: enter a contract) with other people, wherein each party provides a good or service in exchange for a good or service (usually money).

I think this is what devinelovepath might be failing to see because this is the way the world really operates.

But this is also based on the assumption that people need each other to get the things they need.
 callwilliam
Joined: 9/14/2011
Msg: 354
view profile
History
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 10:31:01 AM

So how do you prove something unprovable like the soul?


Theology is not falsifiable. So it doesn't fall within the scope of science.
 beenambedie
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 355
view profile
History
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 10:43:33 AM
jerseygirl2008 on 9/15/2011 813 AM
Subject: Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Knock it off with the constant insipid bullsh*t about women all wanting you for your freakin' money. God, it gets so freakin' tiresome reading this nonsense over and over and over and over and over here on these forums.


I know what you mean. It's the same as the women bit**ing and whining about men only wanting women for sex. I too get so tired of hearing it.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 356
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 11:19:26 AM
Knock it off with the constant insipid bullsh*t about women all wanting you for your freakin' money. God, it gets so freakin' tiresome reading this nonsense over and over and over and over and over here on these forums.

I know what you mean. It's the same as the women bit**ing and whining about men only wanting women for sex. I too get so tired of hearing it.

Ok that is what this thread needs, to get back on track of the basic complaints people have about money use in relationships..

Money is an agreement of tangible value, and relationships are based on some mutual agreements of value and usefulness.. Let's keep our responses based in the realm of known science/personal relationship monetary experiences and away from anyone's metaphysical ramblings..

VVV is that like the female black widow spider??
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 357
view profile
History
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 11:35:05 AM

Ok that is what this thread needs, to get back on track of the basic complaints people have about money use in relationships..

I agree, dammit! Heck, I put out last weekend and got dinner, but this weekend I'm paying for the movies and he hasn't done his reciprocal duty yet! What if he slides in a free movie date, but I don't get my oil changed??? You can bet I'll be starting a thread on that, yet another cheap guy!






 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 358
view profile
History
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 12:22:35 PM
Boys and girls lets just all calm down a bit here....

Consider this..... most all humans live with some sense of pain, fear, anger, regret, bitterness, shame, guilt, resentment, etc

The whole group of negative emotions have a toxic and destructive effect on our life path and purposes.... money often becomes a tool to mitigate and obscure many or most of our negative emotions and interactions in our social context.... certainly money is a tool of existence and its pursuit is required at some degree for all adults....

In relationship there is often a disequity of earning potential or actual earing results and often but not always it is gender related..... In order to achieve emotional balance and equality of power in the relationship there is often a value attached to intangibles such as love, commitment, child rearing, sexual access, etc which is in exchange for financial stability....

What happens over time is that the original equation of relationship changes and people's needs and expectations change as well.... the two core drivers this discussion is limited mostly to are financial stability and sexual access... when there is a loss of equity then usually there is the eventual dissolution of a functional relationship in its many forms (divorce, cheating, drugs, abuse, etc, etc)

When we have a near death experience (as many, many well documented cases have shown) The individual is forever changed to become more focused on love and relationships... than on all the the material goods we all need and use daily in life.....

Divinepath is trying to get us to refocus on that greater good in ourselves....(and skip the dying part)... find our own internal wholeness and healing and then be able to share and express it with our partners and those around us more consistently and in a way that uses our resources ( ie money, love, respect) to build and cherish relationship as the highest human purpose we can ever experience..... IMHO
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 359
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 1:01:34 PM
I have nothing against anyone who wants to seek enlightenment from a higher power, all the power to them, I have a problem with hypocrites like Divine love path, who wants to shout from the mountain tops " money is the root of all evil" and seeking profits , investments that profits is bad. Since you bring up religion re read 1 Timothy 6:10 , show me where is says " money is the root of all evil"?

Look if he wants to do the Mother Theresa thing fine and dandy , go do it, but don't come in here and tell me what I'm doing is wrong and then tells me my morality depends on if I give him money because I have more of it then him? that to me is bull shittttttttt

Tell me what has he done to make society a better place? you talk about purpose, yet he brags when he's finished his education, he will earn $200 per hour, for a person that thinks money and profit are not good, he seems to be bragging ? no.

Respect is two way street by the way those that get respect, gives respect .
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 360
view profile
History
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 1:18:13 PM
@cdn....

as always you bring up some good points.... and I did not look at all of his history.....
but if you can set aside some of his rants and random side bars there is a core of truth worthy of consideration....

If we look at the day to day life context of most great inventors, artists, thinkers of history they were also total misfits as well.... Would you give Stephen Hawking a job??? What could he ever do in your company that mattered???

But what I am not sure of.... the $5000.00 I made in the stock market in 15 min is somehow evil..... LOL.. wink..... at $200 divinepath is a bottom feeder... LOL

@cdn..... Did you mean "the LOVE of money is the root of evil"..... not actually having it...
 jayrock1ny
Joined: 9/13/2011
Msg: 361
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 1:27:26 PM
they say issues with finance in a marriage is one of the greatest causes for divorce.

You should consider the money factor... Do you want chips? Or Chips, dip and more..

But if you really love the person... poverty should matter... yea rightttt..... Do the math, worky and making money = pokey...
 Philhelm
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 362
view profile
History
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 3:09:36 PM

Money and how its handled is simply a barometer of underlying character

Rich people of poor character handle money badly and soon become poorer

Poor people of rich character handle money well and soon become richer


What? That doesn't even remotely make sense. If by character you mean virtue, I fail to see the direct relationship between character and money.
 loveableromantic
Joined: 1/14/2011
Msg: 363
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 4:35:13 PM
like my profile hints at, true love shouldnt be based on money. I have dated women that if they wanted a $10 million house AND a $50,000 ring and you only bought the $10 million house, they would still bring up the fact that you didn't buy them the $50,000 ring excessively. a vast majority of the women do go to the highest bidder so if you did the same thing the only people that might notice the difference are your dates.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 364
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 7:21:28 PM
philhelm~

"If by character you mean virtue, I fail to see the direct relationship between character and money."

money is simply a byproduct of exchanging your goods and or services in the work place. money is neither virtuous nor the root of all evil. if someone is really effective at exchanging their good or services in the marketplace, then some measure of recognition or reward is the result. money may not mean that the person is an upstanding, moral, nice person, but it certainly means that they are effective in their work-life. being good at something is certainly a measure of character to some extent - if anything, it simply means that someone has worked hard to become something, or that they are creative and have great ingenuity. sure, there are people that inherit great wealth, but 80% of all millionaires in the US are self made, and first generation. having great wealth certainly has some drawbacks, however. as benjamin franklin once said, "many a man has been ruined by success." so if anything, it certainly takes character to handle money well, and not indulge the worst of one's self.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 365
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 7:34:48 PM
dwarlord~

"It would seem we all agree that money is an issue in a relationship, however is a relationship actually a date or two? No. So based on this, we should never judge a guy or a gal who is paying for the date regardless of how much they spend."

I agree. Also, keep in mind that it can also be a huge turn off if someone tries to show off, or brag about how much money they supposedly have. because when someone does this, they are actually telling you exactly what they think of YOU. that YOU are some sort of gold digger, or moron, that is status oriented and shallow. I am sorry, I could go out on a date with Bill Gates, and if there wasn't any chemistry then it's not going to happen - money can not buy chemistry!

"To me all of these have nothing to do with the amount of money you spend on a date. Does everyone see where this is going? "

I agree. It's probably best to meet someone for coffee instead of meeting for dinner. That way no one is paying a lot of money. There are times when I have met people and simply felt no chemistry. What can you do? If you don't feel any chemistry, you don't feel it. Chemistry is an intangible thing. If someone is obviously not right for you, then why waste your time meeting them in the first place?

"1. Women should never ever say a man is cheap when they take them out on a date and the man is paying period."

I disagree. If the man brings coupons, and complains the whole time about the cost of the entrees, then it is bad manners. That being said, if you've been dating someone a while and you guys are both into coupons, then go for it (I do like coupons, btw, but would never get them out when on a date).

"2. A man should never ever complain about how much he spends taking a woman out when he is the one who decides where and what to do ever."

I covered that in response to number one, but will expand my answer to include that NO ONE, regardless of gender, whether it is a date, or taking a friend out for lunch, should never, ever complain about the cost of doing so. If you are the invitee, then it is proper etiquette to pay, even though with friends we often don't practice this.

"Now let us make things even clearer.
If a man takes a woman out then asks her to pay he is cheap. This should have been arranged before the date."

That is a good point. Also, the meeting for coffee suggestion would probably eliminate anyone, male or female, forking out big bucks on drinks and dinner with someone they aren't into.

"If a man takes a woman out and then she talks him into doing everything under the sun or orders the most expensive things she can think of then the man does have a right to complain about how she took advantage of the situation."

I think the man has a right to be annoyed, but it would probably be bad manners to say anything. now, I think a good guideline is to see what the man orders, and order something that is a less then what he has chosen. Also, the invited person should offer to pick up the tip. but again, meeting for coffee would eliminate any of these issues. who can't afford to buy someone coffee? Also, if you show up before the other person then just buy your own coffee. Hello?
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 366
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 7:45:09 PM
cooldog65~

"@larissan04: I just read what you posted yesterday (msg.302), and I just want to say I respect your strength for bouncing back from the situation you went through. I believe in true love, too."

Thank you. Yes, I bounced back. I am a survivor. My motto is, Fluctuat Nec Mergitur, which means, "she is tossed by the waves but doesn't sink."
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 367
view profile
History
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 7:50:27 PM
@larissan04: Excellent as always. And you like coupons like I do? You are a dream come true! Since I live in the land of coffee (Seattle-Tacoma, WA area), it'll be my treat!
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 368
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 7:54:39 PM

money is neither virtuous nor the root of all evil.


Yes, money is just another form of barter...more convinient form...it is greed that is the root of evil.

80% of all millionaires in the US are self made...hmmm...interesting statistic...unfortunately a million is really $10,000 in 1960 dollars....$10k was lots then but not enough to retire on...as is $1m today...not enough to retire on...sob...

Yet, this thread was, as I recall, about a woman-OP-who went on a date where the man upon seeing the check went into distress/convulions/shock...from that point on in the thread...all men are cheap bystards...or all women are first date gold-diggers.

Of course, along the way...there's been the byatching men/women pointing this finger and that...I'll admit to feeling somewhat used and abused in just a little way...for in almost 3 years...not one woman I've met n greeted has offered to pay for/split/leave a tip for the first date...course, I guess my internet choice of 40, 50, 60 or so women must be jaded to the more traditional types...these new wave "independent" dutch type have eluded my manly wiles....thankfully so.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 369
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 8:03:40 PM

Excellent as always. And you like coupons like I do? You are a dream come true! Since I live in the land of coffee (Seattle-Tacoma, WA area), it'll be my treat!

Gotta remember never to show any coupons on those "first dates" or even "first meets".. We've been so informed...
And those LDRs hardly ever work out, especially when there are multiple better offers locally..
But, there IS that distance/unavailability tease thing going on, so one never knows what lurks in the mind of a POFerette..
 callwilliam
Joined: 9/14/2011
Msg: 370
view profile
History
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 9:39:21 PM

devinelovepath ~

The purpose of Christianity is to prevent its members from addressing soul errors?


Yes.


When I was 19 I was in an accident and was dead for a short time. I existed as a spirit for that time and remember it fully.


Wrong.


(4) For whoever is joined with all the living, there is hope; surely a live dog is better than a dead lion.

(5) For the living know they will die; but the dead do not know anything, nor have they any longer a reward, for their memory is forgotten.

(6) Indeed their love, their hate and their zeal have already perished, and they will no longer have a share in all that is done under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 9 ~ NASB)
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 371
view profile
History
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 9/30/2011 9:40:29 PM
@TALL-IQ2: Gotcha bro...Coupons ok in a relationship, not on dates. Just paying that classy, beautiful lady a compliment. Ok, I admit a little friendly/flirty, too. Can you blame me? No LDRs... Just wish my local ones would come to the forums.
 Dreamer_in_SC
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 372
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 10/1/2011 5:38:30 AM

Hold on a minute. I am one of those woman you speak of...I didn't fail or improperly raised my daughter - she is ill.


Then where is she? If my baby was ill i would be there to take care of him since i am his parent.

Are you a reptile or a fish or are you a mammal?

What sets us apart is that we do not simply lay eggs and swim away. The job of a parent is not just to supply a way for the child to survive. It also is to train them on how to ALSO be parents. Listen, i was not singling out a single person with my statement. I was simply attempting to explain to him that being a parent means more than just making sure the child survives to adulthood.

He said he knew how to raise a child but also admitted to not being in his child's life.

However, since you brought it up.... You own child got sick as you said. Somewhere along the way though she had children. I would assume they didn't magically appear over night.

When you compare humans to nature the closest resemblance to us and how we interact would likely be elephants. The reason is they care for their young and also the younger ones will care for their older ones as well. Most other animals will abandon the oldest among them.

They do not because the parenting never stops. You do not stop being a parent when your child reaches a certain age. You are parent for life.

Most of the people that say money should be a consideration are considering the ability to survive and/or to raise children as the basis for saying that yes money should be considered.

As such this is relevant to the topic. Why did you stop being your daughters parent and instead chose to be a parent to your grandchildren?

My guess would be it was because you wanted to make sure they were taken care of. The point i was making however was why do people choose that route instead of the proper way which is to continue raising your own child until she is capable of taking care of her own children.

That is what we do as parents. That is how our species works. we have children and we care for those children while also teaching them how to be parents themselves so that that next generation can do the same thing with their children.

I am not just raising my son. I am also teaching him how to be a dad as well. The message you are sending to your own grandchildren is that when they have kids if one of their kids gets sick when those kids have kids that it is ok to stop being a parent to their own kids and bypass the way our species works by taking on the role of parent to their grand kids.

A grandparent should never be raising their grandchildren if one of the parents is still alive. That is just my opinion. The reason i have that opinion is because of my own thoughts on what it means to be a parent. My thoughts are .. If the child you raised does not have the capability to raise the next generation then IMO you screwed up in fulfilling your role of preparing your young to continue your family lineage.

Your daughter should be there with you. Kinda like the elephants. If a young mother is having trouble raising their young the older one does not abandon and give up on her. Instead the older one steps in and basically shows her how to handle it.

You stole your daughters job. You are not their parent. You never will be their parent. All you have done is confused those children and robbed them of having a grandmother. You have given up your role of grandmother and took the role of replacement parent.

I am sorry but what you should have done was to do everything in your power to ensure your own child had every possibility available to survive and be a mother to her own children even if that meant taking her in as well to continue your parenting until you succeeded at propagating the parenting skills necessary.


I believe it's all been said and I stand by my earlier posts. Money is a necessary tool to get through this life, it is not the only tool you'll need or necessarily the most important one but just the same, it is one of the many tools required to survive and prosper in this world.


You are correct that money is a tool. Like others have mentioned it is a universal form of exchange. The things we need to survive are an interdependency.

Example.. A farmer growing corn needs things to grow that corn. They would need a combine to harvest it. They likely are not very good at building combines if they are good at growing corn. However, someone else may be good at building combines but not very good at growing corn. The value of a combine it much more than the value of an ear of corn or if the combine manufacture needs corn to survive, the value of the needed corn does not equal the value of that combine.

Thus where the need for money stemmed from. It allowed for more advanced things to be created and built. A simple barter system would have issues since in order for the combine builder to accept corn as a trade for a combine they would receive much more corn than they need in order to be compensated properly for the value of the combine.

That meant the person making the combine would have to use the excess corn to trade for the other things they need. The trouble is that person is known for having combines and not corn and the people going to them looking for combines would likely have plenty of corn of their own. The one making the combines needs steel not corn and the steel plants don't need corn. Instead... MONEY is given to the farmer for his corn which then allows him to give money to the combine maker which then allows them to give money to the steel plant, etc, etc,

Each one gets what they need using one medium.

It takes more money,time, and resources to create one combine than it does to grow one ear of corn. Since money is universal the farmer can figure out how many ears of corn is needed to get one combine using the exchange rates.

Kinda off topic but sorta applies. The reason it applies is because if a woman knows what is required for her survival, then it is like the farmer and combine relationship above. If the guy only has a back yard sized patch of corn it isn't going to be enough if the woman's life is like the combine creator. There would not be yielding enough corn when the exchange rate is applied to afford her combine.

LMAO... I know it is a bit of a stretch but that is basically it. If a woman is living in a 4000 sq ft home that costs 3-4k a month to maintain then a guy only making $600 a month can not afford to live there with her. It may lead to arguments about money if they ignored that fact and became a couple anyways.

However, If their goals and plans line up then both of them together could work together at an increase and as such those 2 together COULD make it work. What we are alone is not what we are when combined with another.

When i look for women that interest me i do the opposite as many people it seems. I don't look for a woman just like me. I look for a woman that has something, or some quality/trait that i do not have. I do so because i want her to fit into all aspects of my life. That way who we are as a couple will be capable of more things than myself alone would be able to do. If i find her that also means that us as a couple will be capable of more things than she alone would have been able to accomplish.

Just more of my worthless free opinions. If you chose not to read them due to being too long of a post it won't hurt my feelings.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 373
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 10/1/2011 7:09:54 AM
I've used a coupon on a date. In these days of groupons and the entertainment book - why the hell not?!

You can go somewhere expensive and pay half! As a foodie, I'm all for those.
 VirtuallyLove
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 374
Should money be a consideration in a relationship
Posted: 10/1/2011 7:37:06 AM
I almost had a very similar situation. I discovered that my ex-wife was "blowing up" her credit cards! Fortunately I discovered this in time to stop the bleeding; unfortunately, it required the sale of a house to pay the debt

That was a major reason for our divorce.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >