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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever      Home login  
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 brewcrew9
Joined: 4/17/2011
Msg: 19
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone ForeverPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
If you have it in your head you'll end up alone then you probably will. You need to get out and socialize in someway. Try getting a gym membership to work on making yourself healthier. You might make some friends or even meet a girl in the same place you are. Remember if you feel better about yourself and are happy that will make you more attractive to someone else.
 grantfl80
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 20
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/16/2011 7:05:26 PM
I think the biggest sign that somebody will be alone forever is when they're laying in their coffin at their own funeral, and the only person in attendance is the funeral director. I read your profile, and it seems like you want a business partner more than a girlfriend. Why limit your choice of women to being artists or video gamers? You said yourself you're already limited by the small town you live in. Ever consider getting out of your town? It's not uncommon, you know. Go watch the movie Yes Man, and then act on it. You've voluntarily closed yourself off to experiences by staying in New Philadelphia, accepting that NOBODY is in your town, and spending your off hours ONLY doing your work. I mean...at least you have a passion for what you do as a career, so if you do end up alone at least you have that. You actually have a hand in your own future, but you're letting everything else dictate your future.

G
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 21
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/16/2011 8:07:33 PM
How we live is a choice. For me, Career , College , Gym come first right now. I am just too damn busy for other people's nonsense. However I love the single lifestyle. It boils down to if you are content with it or not.

And poster 19, Fishy, you need to stand in the mirror and say what YOU said to the OP here. You think he needs to lose weight and looks like he has down syndrome? And who the hell do you think you look like? After all the help people gave you here with your damn drama??? Yeah, and you are quite the super model. Do not ask for help again from anyone. I will not say what you look like on here. But a few things come to mind.

OP, best thing you can do is maybe go out more, and just be yourself. Being single is not that bad :) If someone comes along, great. If not, oh well.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 22
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Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/16/2011 8:10:47 PM
Yesterday I would have said yes but today is a new day...

I think we come to that conclusion when we are sad and alone...then one day the universe opens up and surprises us.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 23
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/17/2011 1:54:01 AM
It would be an impossiblity for some one to be alone forever. We all come from somewhere, have family, so from day one we have people in our lives. As we go through life, our families grow, we meet new friends, we may have a relationship or two. So the "forever" part never was a possibility, and with all the connections we make and have opportunity to make, we are only alone as we choose to be.

"Life is what happens when we're busy making other plans"- don't remember who said that, think it might have John Lennon. But, yeah, you should always be going about the business of living your life.
 missraven1
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 24
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/17/2011 7:46:18 AM
I'm sure you wouldn't be the first if that happened so yes I think it's possible. But it's not the end of the world. There are worse things in life. Go out with your gaming buddies to some place conducive to socialising with others, don't just mix with your inner sanctum of mates. Then talk to whoever about whatever just for the hell of meeting new people and learning something new (without romance in mind if they're female as you need to learn to feel positive about yourself first). Importantly, I think you should pay attention to personal appearance, find clothing that suits you. From your dress, it's obvious you don't go out (surely if you were to meet someone from here, you'd dress up a bit first so this should apply to your profile pic). You ought to buy (if you don't own) a nice casual collared shirt, one you can also wear out. And get a modern haircut. Girls (unless they're daggy themselves) like it when a guy makes an effort without necessarily going over the top (eg metrosexual). You might think it's not you and why be someone you're not but why not become someone better. And don't underestimate it - pampering yourself can help you feel good inside, a step toward being more confident and positive.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 25
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/17/2011 11:33:25 AM
~OT~ Of course it's possible. My Grandfather never was permanently with anyone after my Grandmother, my Father is alone (he has a companion to dine with but they don't have a "label" attached to one another that I know of) my Mother is alone, my Aunt, me and my little sister. I guess we are a family of people who end up alone. It was one of my son's greatest fears ~ that he'd end up "alone like the rest of you." I doubt that would have happened to him, but sad to think about. JMO
 HappyDip
Joined: 9/13/2011
Msg: 26
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/17/2011 11:39:07 AM

Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever

Yes.


What are the signs that a person is destined to be alone and never have a relationship with anyone?

They do nothing to realistically see their problems or do anything about them, instead finding groups (like online forums where people find pseudo support groupage) where they can use people for a little validation rather than doing any of the hard relationship work.


Is there a point where people should just move on with their lives and concentrate on other things?

You should always be moving on with your life and concentrate on a lot of other things.
Just because you move on with your life and concentrate on other things doesn't mean you have to actively work against being in a relationship with the people you naturally and normally come across.
Of course if you simply sit online and let that be your social life and hobbies, you are screwed.
 Pugalist
Joined: 8/5/2011
Msg: 27
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/17/2011 3:45:12 PM
Listen my Friend. Life is about pursuing your passions, living fully, and experiencing all this crazy ride has to offer.

If you're into the gaming world, there are plenty of young women who are into that. Go to the conventions, join groups, get involved with like-minded people. See the world through gaming...You think I'm joking? There are gaming companies all over the world. Develop your skills, apply for jobs, HELL START YOUR OWN GAMING COMPANY,and dive into life with both feet. LIVE!!!!!...and guess what: In the process of building a life, you'll probably meet the one your meant to be with....

And if you have any problems while you're out there trying to make it, ask for help. There's still a lot of good out there in the world......

Good Luck.
 nesartist
Joined: 8/10/2011
Msg: 28
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/19/2011 11:30:28 PM
The only women I've contacted are those with similar interests or an interest that is similar to mine (such as other forms of art). I have no real concern for looks, just interests and intelligence. The only concern I may have in the physical department is that I am shorter than most women. Not that I'd have a problem with a woman being taller than me, but I believe that a taller woman might have a problem with a shorter man at least from what I've heard.
 pasmal
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 29
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/20/2011 1:24:27 AM
Definitely focus on things that bring you joy everyday.
Join groups of interest online and locally, to have some outlet for expression.
You might connect through various portals.
You can't gauge your appeal by online success.
Go live life, be happy, love and appreciate yourself, connect with friends and loved ones, your community, society. Only after all that can you possibly have the peace to offer another person.
You have to not "need" this person.
Were they to leave you, you'd have your career, your friends and family, interests and joy of life to continue pleasing you and make your time in life worthwhile.
Putting it all on the other person to fulfill you is a turnoff.
I'm not saying that is how you are, but some have this fantasy which repels any healthy person away from them.
 BendigoNathan
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 30
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/20/2011 6:13:12 AM
Have you ever though about a thai bride my mate has one coming over soon hes only 28 but has the same mind set as you,maybe that could be a good option for you mate!
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 31
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Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/20/2011 6:17:41 AM

What are the signs that a person is destined to be alone and never have a relationship with anyone?

I don't think anyone is "destined" to be alone. In my opinion, being alone is a choice. I know you aren't referring to friends here...but they are invaluable. I couldn't be happy without mine. As far as a romantic relationships... maybe you are looking in all the wrong places. (Or looking too hard.)

I'm fairly certain that I won't have another romantic relationship. I just can't do it anymore. I need companionship, but that's about it. My friends can provide that.


Is there a point where people should just move on with their lives and concentrate on other things?

Absolutely. You should just go about your life. Find ways to make yourself happy. Get involved in community organizations or something similar that is meaningful to you. You don't have to close yourself off from opportunities, but "desperately seeking " will not serve you well.
 kiwicoffee
Joined: 4/18/2011
Msg: 32
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/20/2011 3:37:11 PM
I think the last place you should be if you have confidence or self esteem issues is a dating site because both will get knocked constantly.

In general I think online dating is fine if it's just ONE of your avenues of socialising. It should never be your only avenue because you can't rely on it. So my advice would be to find some way of getting out more and socialising. Never mind dating for now, just meet people and have fun. There are websites like meetup where you can find people in your area with similar interests. Go to anything you can get to whether you particularly want to or not just to get the experience. If you can get there and it's reasonable then go do it. That should be your mantra.

Always try and look and smell nice whatever the occasion. Get some nice smart/casual clothes, a nice hair cut and some cologne.

It sounds like you have a lot in your life. You have a career and you're an artist ect. It's okay to focus on those things and to build on them if they make you happy. I know it's easy to think that your life is empty because you don't have someone to share it with but it doesn't have to be. It's okay to be alone for now, there are other things in life.
 icboobs
Joined: 6/11/2010
Msg: 33
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/21/2011 11:16:14 PM
I was alone for five years, and then I met someone on an online game and dated her for a few months. Things ended badly. She made me completely miserable. I am a realist. I can accurately evaluate my life, and it's entirely possible that I will end up being alone forever. On the other hand, I believe there are way too many fish in the sea for me not to catch at least one every 5 years. I'm 32 years old. I figure that means I'll end up being in at least two more serious relationships before I turn 45, and then that's when I'll grow old and die by myself. I also think it's possible that I might end up in a dozen or more meaningless relationships in my late 30's and early 40's if I improve some areas of my life (physical appearance, financial, educational, creative, etc). I'm not too worried about it though. Love is all around us. It doesn't have to come from a girlfriend/boyfriend. In fact, I believe the love you get from genuine friendships will always be more pure than that from a girlfriend or boyfriend, because boyfriends and girlfriends are more interested in their boyfriend/girlfriend status and how much you do for them and how you make them feel, whereas friends just appreciate you for who you are and how they don't feel alone knowing that there is someone out there that is like them that appreciates them as well.
 lionheart101364
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 34
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Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/22/2011 3:49:36 PM
I was the same way most of my life until I had sex with a women, then it all changed for the better. You might want to find a town with more women in it that is close to you and live there. Or become a manager of a complex to force yourself to speak to people and meet a women. If they see you in charge and getting things done. That will help you meet someone and get you out there.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 35
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/22/2011 7:18:33 PM
Buddy; alone is not so bad. IN truth; noone is ever reeally alone. I hae seen bachelors and bachelorettes who have had more life and good times than married people will ever have.

You just need to find like minded people (male or female) and go live your life.

I think living your life is mandatory either way ya cut it.


is there any point to continue to do what I love to do?


Absolutely.

Evr try seeing what kind of jobs are available in bigger towns or cities. Hell bddy; the whole world could be your oyster. In larger towns and cities you will find ALOT of people who are just like you. (and some freaks too; but let's ignore them for now)
 thundergatti
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 36
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/22/2011 9:01:41 PM
yes,there called crazy cat ladies, spinsters,and librarians, but your a guy so it would be more like a hermit in a plank wood shack in the mountains.... but if you just lower your standards enough I'd say no. theres always somebody for every one. sorry I'm tryin to be funny while in a bad mood at the same time, it will come out something like this.
 JediMountainMama
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 37
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/23/2011 7:58:21 AM
OP: It's ok to be alone and independent. Truth is, there is a lot of drama with relationships that quite frankly I just do better without. I can focus on my kids, my lifestyle and jobs or whatever without the drama. Once when I was younger, I skipped out on work to catch my BF cheating.. lost the job, lost the bf.. what good did it do me? After that everything was drama drama drama. I just dont need it. It took me a while but one day I just woke up and stopped feeling sorry for myself (prior to that I would cry every time Id see a couple at the store or anywhere -boo hoo woe is lonely old me) but one day it just changed, then I was happy with my life again. I was glad to be free of the pain, the heartache over and over of being hurt. Decided to never let myself be hurt again! I think if you change your outlook like that, and stop "looking" just be happy being yourself, you will even become more attractive to others.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 38
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/23/2011 9:02:31 AM
Have you ever heard of the "law of attraction". This is very simple, we tend to attract what is similar to us. But what defines this is primarily what we have in our minds. Our thoughts become things. What we wish, what we work hard for becomes our reality. But you have to take the steps to make it happen. And if along the way you say "this is not working, this is bu ll sh it. I give up." Guess what happens. It stops happening.

Now in your case, you need to do something physical. Why? Because you will live longer, it will change your mood, and because by becoming more physical, your attitude and approach to live will become more physical. Second. Forget a relationship YET, start thinking, friends, hanging out with people, men and women. Think of conversations with people in general. If you focus on that, it should be easy. If you start thinking relationship, particularly since you never had one is like me telling you to go climb Mount Everest. It ain't gonna happen. If I tell you to go climb that little hill over there. You go "sure." And you climb it. Easy. Fun. No big deal. And life should be easy. Fun. And no big deal. So then you can start setting your goals as to what you want.

Now, not all women want the super buff guy. Some women want someone exactly like you. But you are not going to find her being home alone. YOu may want to make friends through the gaming that you do.

So dude. Start dreaming, start planning. Start living. You can do it.
 getanet
Joined: 6/10/2011
Msg: 39
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/23/2011 11:02:39 AM
OK, about the only time I ever have this thought is when trying to internet date. Don't allow others to define you. Co-dependence is not healthy. You've done your own thing this long. The fact you mention your location as an issue just naturally brings to mind to expand your search, and do some self-assessment as to whether you would be willing to travel a little further or even re-locate should you find your match. I've seen plenty of short guys with taller women, -not an issue.

The WAY you message women may be more the issue than anything. Perhaps provide an example of a message you'd send?

You sound a little down. Sometimes its good to just step away from this site too if it gets frustrating. Try to go to comic conventions, or other places where more creative types might hang out. An art gallery opening, museum, etc.
 JeepBlue22
Joined: 4/8/2011
Msg: 40
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Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/23/2011 10:24:46 PM
I'm the last person who should be giving dating advice (face it, you're asking advice from a bunch of people who are probably in the same boat as you!) but I would say that you have no reason to "give up" and the only thing you can do is keep improving yourself. Work on your physique so that you aren't out of shape, the way you dress, and the way you present yourself. These are things you should probably do anyways!
At the same time, don't put so much importance on it. You shouldn't constantly be thinking "I've got to find a girl!!". You also should try going out and meeting girls, if possible. Online dating is tough, and it's just one possible method. Believe me, I know it's tough if you are into "guy" things (like comics, video games, etc.) to meet girls, but still, you will meet girls the same way you would meet a friend. And the internet makes it easier.
For example, say you go to a place that has something you're interested in. Some guys go to bars, but for example my friend was at an anime convention. He started talking to some girl, randomly, and they were kind of hitting it off. He wimped out and never got any contact info, but what he should have said is, "So do you have a facebook page?" or at the least said "here's my email, let's talk more!"... you have to find a reason to talk to a girl, then a way to contact her again. She may or may not be interested in you romantically, but you've got to put the effort out there.
Think of the effort you put into your career and your hobbies. You've got to put that much effort and maybe more into finding girls. And like I said, don't put a ton of importance on it either, because you will find lots of rejection (like almost everyone) and bad luck (like everyone). Just try and improve, try and improve.
 Billion_Dollar_Man
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 41
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/25/2011 3:24:25 AM
It's possible, but highly unlikely. There are no signs that a person is destined to be alone. Put aside your want and desire to have someone and live your life. You must always move on with your life and not worry about love and finding someone, because there is someone out there for everyone and you have many uniquely great qualities to bring into a relationship with someone. Remember, you are a great person and anyone that has you will be lucky to be in your presence.

Peace
 DudeOfManyTalents
Joined: 9/3/2011
Msg: 42
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/25/2011 9:21:07 AM
Of course it's possible, if you think you're going to meet anyone through a dating site! Most of the people on this site are cheap-shot artists anyway who are going to spend the rest of their lives getting a kick out of making other lonely people miserable.

If you're serious about meeting someone, you should do an about-face and join some offline meetup groups, because the game players don't last long IRL. Since I joined some meetup groups, I've met a LOT of interesting women (although I had to sift through a LOT of ditzy Barbie wannabes).

There is, however, another alternative: GET RICH. Women can smell cash and they're attracted to it like flies to dog dirt.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 43
Is It Possible For Someone to End up Alone Forever
Posted: 9/26/2011 4:12:09 PM

Make your life what YOU want it to be and if someone comes along and can merge into your life without you having to make any major changes in the way you live including WHERE you live then it's your choice if you want to explore that as a potential relationship.


Good points seaykitten as true,true love has nothing to do with changing or accepting, but knowing hopefully finding another,that has the same goals,beliefs,character, & dreams as you.
And more so being on the same page,respecting each other in that & will never fear of that, as each other is there to support & understand.
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