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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?      Home login  
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 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 51
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

He didn't tell me that he wouldn't date anyone else, he said he would and we were not exclusive. He did tell me however that he wouldn't sleep with anyone else.


""we are not exclusive"" means, I reserve the RIGHT to bed you and anyone else whom I please.
 meowsaidthetigress
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 52
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/19/2011 10:20:03 AM
^Bingo- for both sides of the fence :)
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 53
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/19/2011 10:22:11 AM
He just got out of a relationship that hurt him... so I guess that gives him an excuse to hurt others, right?

Now you are hurting Op, hopefully you don't add more ;)
 timestandstillfla
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 54
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/19/2011 10:42:34 AM
You weren't talking about that guy that owned West Coast choppers? lol


or that old guy tha dated Anna Nicole are you??
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 55
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/19/2011 2:41:08 PM

He might be a confused man afraid of commitment but I strongly doubt it...
Even if that were the case, unless she is in the same place.. why stick around waiting till he deems her worthy? While he dates and sleeps with other women? Ugh.
 Possessions
Joined: 10/3/2009
Msg: 56
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/19/2011 4:03:23 PM
OP: Here's the problem from my perspective. You obviously have this need to be loved and this guy has baited you by using that fact to his advantage. He's been honest with you by saying he isn't going to be exclusive with you so the fact that he slept with someone else shouldn't come as a surprise to you, logically speaking.

However, I really don't see that you're thinking logically here. You have fabricated this man who may POSSIBLY be in love with you and you're so hopeful that he is that you saw past everything logical that was a warning sign.

No, wake up, smell the roses and move on.
 Sunflowers123
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 57
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/19/2011 6:56:04 PM
IMO, you need to just move on. He told you he wasnt' ready to be exclusive.- and then he slept with someone else, which he will likely do again. I suspect he will keep stringing you along- if you allow him to do so. Move on honey, avoid the train wreck!
 ForumQueen
Joined: 8/28/2011
Msg: 58
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/19/2011 9:07:12 PM
Thanks to all of you who have given your advice here. I really appreciate it! However, I have realized from this thread that you can not convey the qualities of a person in a paragraph or two. This man has been deeply hurt by a past relationship and as a result has made some mistakes in his relationship with me. He fully understands his responsiblity in this, and yes, we DO have a very strong and very special relationship. There are very strong feelings between us and I will not walk away from him. If nothing else I am his best friend and I will be there for him. He is NOT all the awful things he has been called and accused of on here. I regret that I posted his private issues on here. He doesn't deserve to be ripped apart by people who don't know him and don't know what a quality man he is. He is an amazing person, inside and out. I care very deeply for him and will be happy to post an update in a year as to how our relationship has flourished. I hope the rest of you will find someone special as well. I know I wont get the popularity vote here, however, I don't care. I love this man and will not turn my back on him. I know we have an amazing future in front of us and I am looking forward to tomorrow with him!
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 59
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Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/19/2011 9:21:55 PM

I care very deeply for him and will be happy to post an update in a year as to how our relationship has flourished.




That would be awesome. I've always wanted to see that kind of follow up in a thread :)

You can rub our noses in it!
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 60
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Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/19/2011 9:34:12 PM
Also be sure to update your profile intentions so you don't get the creepers.

The current: Intent ForumQueen isn't seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 61
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/19/2011 9:53:40 PM
OP, your thread started out with you saying you just meet him 2 months ago and has progressed to your undying love and devotion.

He may be a good guy. I don't know. But, to me, good guys don't sleep around when they're dating someone they are considering being exclusive with, and then announce this the next day. It seems too coincidental that he tells you he's been thinking about being exclusive on the heels of telling you he just slept with someone else. It's just good old-fashioned CYA and transference. Very uncool.
Actions speak louder than words.
I say if you choose to keep seeing someone who cheats on you that it can't hurt to date a while longer and see if his actions demonstrate exclusivity and trust.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 62
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/19/2011 10:13:55 PM

I love this man and will not turn my back on him. I know we have an amazing future in front of us and I am looking forward to tomorrow with him!


happy to post an update in a year as to how our relationship has flourished.


I'll stock up on popcorn and beer for this one!!
I can see the head line now:
He keeps cheating on me... what should I do?

Sister you need
But like I posted earlier, I knew you had your head in the sand and I called it, you decided to exactly what you wanted. You didn't want advice at all (not surprising).
If you're 5'4" and red headed...............I'm 95lbs and naturally platinum blond.
 grnidgypc
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 63
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Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/20/2011 12:12:34 AM
Dear forumqueen,

Girl! Guys like this will not RESPECT YOU until YOU RESPECT YOURSELF. As a suggestion for right now, instead of seeking out something SERIOUS from one particular MAN, start going on dates with several men.

This will assist in YOU feeling more confident within YOUR own way of judging for YOURSELF who is there for YOU and who is there for themselves. Being selfish, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and especially "PHYSICALLY"!

Learn how to have FUN again. Plus, YOU'll start getting that "VIBE" again of sensuality when YOU have that confidence back, respect YOURSELF and MEN can sense that.

Do not allow this one FOOL to take YOUR POWER and BEAUTIFUL essence and lay it by the side of the roadway!

YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL SOUL!

You do not have to subject YOURSELF to someone who does this to YOU and then expects to be able to still have YOU on the side, "a la carte"!

He messed up, he's lost YOU. Now get back on that HORSE and ride it like YOU STOLE IT! (The horse being an analogy of "LIFE"!)

GOD BLESS YOU GIRL and I WISH YOU LOVE, PEACE AND MUCH SOUL! ABUNDANT BLESSINGS TO YOU!

YOU FIND SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU WHEN YOU LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND FOREMOST!

GO GET 'EM!
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 64
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Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/20/2011 12:19:31 AM

As a suggestion for right now, instead of seeking out something SERIOUS from one particular MAN, start going on dates with several men.


I don't think she has had issues with going on dates with several men. I think the issue is the kinds of men she keeps going on dates with. Just my theory.

But hey, she found him. Come back for the one year reunion
 grnidgypc
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 65
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Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/20/2011 12:34:04 AM
Dear ZachariahTicer,

It just seems to me that Men and Women both at times place too much emphasis on the "Seriousness" of relationships and completely forget about having FUN. And I'm not speaking of the physical end of fun. We seem to place too much emphasis in getting a "relationship" off the ground without having GPS. I'm not saying that every move has to be mapped, but sometimes and I'll place myself in this equation also, we're flying blind. Eventually we fly SOLO once again.

Although, at times, (and I have been guilty of this myself in the past) it seems the only way people connect is within the physical realm.

It seems some are in such a rush to get serious that it is forgotten the whole reason for the sheer enjoyment of sharing with another person, in whatever capacity that may entail.

You are right on with the fact of it being the "types" of men that she may attract, or accept dates from and it goes from there.

What I'm mentioning here with placing my two cents in doesn't make it right, doesn't make it wrong, just makes it my opinion.

BLESSINGS AND MIRACLES,
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 66
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/20/2011 2:36:31 AM

.. yes, we DO have a very strong and very special relationship. There are very strong feelings between us and I will not walk away from him. If nothing else I am his best friend and I will be there for him. He is NOT all the awful things he has been called and accused of on here. I regret that I posted his private issues on here. He doesn't deserve to be ripped apart by people who don't know him and don't know what a quality man he is. He is an amazing person, inside and out. I care very deeply for him and will be happy to post an update in a year as to how our relationship has flourished. I hope the rest of you will find someone special as well. I know I wont get the popularity vote here, however, I don't care. I love this man and will not turn my back on him. I know we have an amazing future in front of us and I am looking forward to tomorrow with him!

gee he must be a good ****.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 67
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History
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/20/2011 3:45:37 AM
Wow.

He really is a good guy. He just can't help
that his pants keep falling around his ankles.

I suggest to make this last you need to buy
him a belt.

I really hope for your sake he can change because
you are so awefully dilusional that when he finds
someone else at the other end of his dick it
won't be because he loves you- it will be because
that's what he is.

He will do it again and maybe this time you will
get mad enough to see that this sweet man who
is so damaged is unfixable.

He has you so manipulated in your thinking that
you would settle for crumbs.

I know- we don't know shit about how special
your love for each other is.

Unfortunately we do know the outcome- we have
all been there.

I'm going to wait for you to delete yourself here
because there is no happy ending in a year-
in that time you won't even recognize yourself
when he is done with you.

Good luck. Glad your riding that crazy train.
One less seat for us.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 68
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/20/2011 4:18:40 AM
At this point I don't believe anything this person has posted. The OP is supposed to be 5'4" & the woman in the pic is obviously a giant. Nobody is that idiotic & admits it in public.

OP...yes, please update us in a year. Heck...update us after next weekend. In the meantime...condoms are your friend. He might accidentally fall into another woman's vagina again.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 69
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/20/2011 5:21:33 AM

This man has been deeply hurt by a past relationship and as a result has made some mistakes in his relationship with me. He fully understands his responsiblity in this, and yes, we DO have a very strong and very special relationship. There are very strong feelings between us and I will not walk away from him. If nothing else I am his best friend and I will be there for him. He is NOT all the awful things he has been called and accused of on here. I regret that I posted his private issues on here. He doesn't deserve to be ripped apart by people who don't know him and don't know what a quality man he is. He is an amazing person, inside and out. I care very deeply for him and will be happy to post an update in a year as to how our relationship has flourished. I hope the rest of you will find someone special as well. I know I wont get the popularity vote here, however, I don't care. I love this man and will not turn my back on him. I know we have an amazing future in front of us and I am looking forward to tomorrow with him!


Reason # 644......
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 70
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/20/2011 5:47:50 AM
Boy..is this broad stupid or what?/ I agree with the other posters..that aint your pic..you'd have alot more confidence/self-esteem if you looked like that..
It aint gonna take a year..i'd give it maybe 1 month...or so..and like some of the other posters have said..either he gets another girl pregnant..or gives you a std.
 hoyos
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 71
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/20/2011 6:26:43 AM

... people who don't know him and don't know what a quality man he is ...

I know he's a quality guy - if he didn't tell you about bopping the chick he met that one night you wouldn't have posted this thread so please thank him for inadvertently helping to keep these forums entertaining.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 72
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/20/2011 6:39:03 AM

There are very strong feelings between us and I will not walk away from him. If nothing else I am his best friend and I will be there for him. He is NOT all the awful things he has been called and accused of on here. I regret that I posted his private issues on here. He doesn't deserve to be ripped apart by people who don't know him and don't know what a quality man he is. He is an amazing person, inside and out. I care very deeply for him and will be happy to post an update in a year as to how our relationship has flourished. I hope the rest of you will find someone special as well. I know I wont get the popularity vote here, however, I don't care. I love this man and will not turn my back on him. I know we have an amazing future in front of us and I am looking forward to tomorrow with him!

YOU came here asking for "help" with your dilemma.. Smart Forumites sense that if you are as smart as you would have us believe, then why do you have such need to react so emotionally defensive when your logic is challenged?
Many Forumites are awaiting the bipolarism defense of him to surface.. As an enabler in a codependent relationship with a broken picker, it may be expected.. IF you ever wish to change your long-term results, a picker upgrade may be required.
Inquiring minds would also like to see some candid unposed pics if you actually want anyone to believe that ONE is you.. And some calculating Forumites want to know the exact distance from person to the camera and its elevation above the floor in inches... Good luck and Happy Trails..
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 73
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/20/2011 6:52:02 AM
and..i agree with the above poster....and your hair certainly doesnt look 'red'...maybe a freudian-slip?/lol...
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 74
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History
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/20/2011 10:53:25 AM

the profile picture which isn't the OP. The woman in that picture is close to 6' tall not 5'4 Silly light switches... That profile was just written for attention, plain and simple.. Jokes Up OP!


I wondered the same.
I have to say when I read other posting on this "man" I wondered if this was not a troll post.
Cheating might not hurt now and I would say you are in Love with his "potential", but down the road it will hit you like a ton of bricks.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 75
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/20/2011 11:42:05 AM
I think you are making a classic female mistake. This isn't confusing in the least. YOU ARE making it confusing on purpose because you dont' want to leave.

When I care about someone I usually dont' show it by sleeping with another girl. Actions show who you are, words show who you want others to THINK you are.

he's not into you; bump in the road? lol;

How do you know he cares for you? You need to wake up out of the fog; you seem nice and deserve a lot better. Be secure in yourself enough to move on.

I have a one cheat rule. I'm not going to be jealous or chase you wondering what you do. But if you cheat once, it's ovah!
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