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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?      Home login  
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 Sunflowers123
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 101
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
You asked for opinions....then get defensive when you get them? (He will never be what you want him to be....he's not going to suddnely wake up one day and realize that YOU are the one for him.) I mean this with all sincerity..and it's not meant to be disrespectful---I think you need to find a support group for Codependency. You can sit around waiting for him to "come to his senses", and "get his act together", or you can do some self-analysis, and figure out why you have the need to stick around when someone is treatin gyou like crap..... Just my opinion...
 ZXTTTT
Joined: 5/10/2010
Msg: 102
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Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/24/2011 6:09:46 AM
Sorry to be so blunt but, are you realy that stupid? If you take him back, it will happen again and again. Kick hie ass out the door as hard as you can.
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 103
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/24/2011 6:36:12 AM
I'm confused. Didn't you say he told you he didn't want to be exclusive? Did you two change that agreement at any point? Because if not, I'm not sure what the problem is (though I'm also not sure why he's acting all guilty if you weren't monogamous anyway).
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 104
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/24/2011 6:59:29 AM
He's "seriously trying to be exclusive"?

Sorry, that's just a hoot. Do you figure if I showed up 2 hours late every day to work, and I told my boss I was "seriously trying to get there on time", I'd have that job for long?
Or I'm 'seriously trying to quit drinking' - but I went out and got trashed again last night (I'm sure a lot of alcoholics have used *that* line ).

If I *want* to be exclusive, then I *am* exclusive. And if a woman told me she slept with some random guy the night before but she's "seriously trying to be exclusive", my reply would be "great, call me when you're ready to *be* exclusive, and not just "trying to be").
 cin____dy
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 105
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/25/2011 12:08:54 AM
He was honest and upfront about his feelings. He told you he wasn't ready. For you to go ahead and ignore that and get close is actually your problem.
Two months does not make a lifetime and not what I call an exclusive relationship. He might care a lot and indeed miss you, but he told you upfront, you should take responsibility for jumping in too fast. He never said you were exclusive. Two months is not enough time.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 106
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/25/2011 2:46:03 AM
"After a couple of weeks he told me that he was fresh out of a relationship that had hurt him alot. He told me that he wasn't ready to be exclusive and would continue to date other people. "

what did you expect ? would it have better if he had said, I just want to hang out and bang a few other chicks too ? same same - yet you were still surprised.
 m-oeuvre
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 107
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/27/2011 7:46:01 AM
Dump him honey.
He's giving you a clear message.

It's this: I will never really be faithful to you.

Been there and done that "compassionate" to your needs routine. This isn't a bump on the road ....it's a message to "get out" while you can. Don't let your emotional feelings over-ride the reality.
 WILD_DNA
Joined: 7/29/2011
Msg: 108
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/27/2011 8:32:53 PM
Mistake Number One. "We made the mistake of letting things get too serious in the beginning." Fast starts are formed by lust or infatuation but never anything lasting.
Mistake Number Two. "he told me that he was fresh out of a relationship" And you should have left well enough alone.
Mistake Number Three. "He told me that he wasn't ready" But you didn't listen.
Mistake Number Four. "Yesterday he called and told me that he was busy that night" And he knew damn well what he was going to do.
Mistake Number Five. 'he told me that he has met someone last night and ended up sleeping with them." And that's when you say, well I guess you made your choice and goodbye!
Mistake Number Six." I need to just get this man out of my life, however, I really care about him and I know he really cares about me too." Welcome to the doormat Relationship where this man that really cares for you will walk all over you again and again. But you already know what you should do ... you just don't want to let go.

So.. my dear. You are old enough now to know what is best for you. If you want an open relationship where you can both see and date and sleep with other people, you've made the right choice! This man is allll for that! If you really think forgiving him will stop him from doing it again....You've got another thing coming!

Drop him, move on, and buy the book Why Men Love B1tches.
 CharWebb
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 109
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Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/27/2011 10:24:11 PM
I cannot believe I'm about to comment on this thread...BUT!...the guy slept with another woman. Move on!!
How much clearer do you need the message to be? He will NEVER COMMIT TO YOU. End of story.

Sounds like you have your own security issues to work on before you get involved in another relationship. Best of luck - I am sure you will find the right 'one'. But honey, this guy is NOT the one to chase.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 110
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Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/27/2011 10:42:12 PM
^^^

Oh she is not chasing him.

Read her post a page back or so.

All is good in the hood so to speak

We are all waiting on a year reunion, but I would love to see an update. It's been over a week since the last update.
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 111
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/28/2011 2:04:00 AM
Men don't love b|tches. I'm curious about that book now.
 bikeman1467
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 112
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Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/28/2011 6:02:08 PM
OP, not sure why you air your relationship dirty laundry on public forums like this and summarily dismiss opinions of people who either personally experienced scenarios like yours or know people who have.

Your dude, no matter how swell you think he is, is now not emotionally available for a monogamous relationship. That being said, I don't know this guy at all, don't know what sort of life experiences make him simultaneously a "swell" guy and a cheating philanderer.

Can he change? Can he be a non-cheating monogamous partner to the OP? Maybe. The thing is, you can meet the right person for you in the right place, but if the timing isn't right, it ain't gonna work. Gotta be in the right place at the right time in order to meet Mr. Right. Obviously no one is perfect, but they can be perfect for you. If you seek monogamy and your partner cannot reciprocate, obviously that partner is not perfect for you.

Best thing the OP is going to have with this dude is a FWB. Long term ain't gonna work.
 WILD_DNA
Joined: 7/29/2011
Msg: 113
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/28/2011 7:52:34 PM
Zen! It's a great book for women...not to sure you would find much use in it though. ha ha.
I usually give it to woman such as the OP that have no idea when to draw the line in a relationship. For some of us the answer is so obvious , for others it takes many more painful lessons and many more tears before they realize what to do.

Why Men Love B1tches by Sherry Argov... I could have written it myself! lol

Wild
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 114
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 9/29/2011 10:48:13 AM
He's on the rebound and not ready for a long-term relationship (if ever). You are his temp. The quicker you get out, the easier it will be to get out.
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 115
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 1/9/2012 7:22:08 PM

I am sorry that so many of you have been so burned that you are unable to support someone who is actually willing to stick with their partner and be there for them when they need it! This man means a lot to me and I will be there for him!


It is not an admirable trait to reward his disloyalty with more of your loyalty. How loyal would you feel if he passed on an STD/STI to you?

I myself would never continue in a "loving" relationship with a person that betrayed me by cheating on me. Never. Ever.
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 116
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 1/10/2012 1:27:58 AM
What? affairs are not just accidental they are planned and carried out..He wasnt sorry when he was having sex with her..dump his sorry ass
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 117
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 1/10/2012 5:36:12 AM
listen if u want sweet revenge..i'm available fri. nite!! lol...it doesnt appear u have red hair anymore? i dont even think ur pic. is real..its too good to be true..post some recent ones..
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 118
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 1/10/2012 6:33:43 AM
One and done. I'm not going to read 6 pages of replies...but it was only 2 months and it took him that long to show his true colors.
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 119
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 1/10/2012 7:19:44 AM
Zen! It's a great book for women...not to sure you would find much use in it though. ha ha.
I usually give it to woman such as the OP that have no idea when to draw the line in a relationship. For some of us the answer is so obvious , for others it takes many more painful lessons and many more tears before they realize what to do.

Why Men Love B1tches by Sherry Argov... I could have written it myself! lol

Wild


Hmm she more then tad misguided IMO. Relationship savvy men have very low tolerance for games and bs. Men see right though it. Putting on a b|tch face is not gonna kill nice girl inside. It will make you more miserable and confused because men will see two conflicting personalities. Men appreciate feminine, nurturing women. Honest and caring. Men will always keep a woman that makes him feel masculine. One who isn't afraid to express her emotions in a healthy way and isn't lazy to spend some time in the kitchen.
Personally I would not tolerate behavior that book advocates from my woman however if it helps women to get 'dream boy' Who am I to argue.
 _Italiangirl_
Joined: 12/5/2010
Msg: 120
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 1/10/2012 11:09:24 AM
I'm glad to read the posts from those astute enough to realize the photo in the OP's profile displays a person much taller than the stated 5'4".
I worked with pre-op transsexuals (research subjects) in the early nineties and the photo appears to me to be of a phenotypical M to F transperson, either pre-or post-op but definitely post hormone therapy/implant stage. Amusing how many males posted that she is "hot". She has a masculine face.
This is most likely a fake thread as well as a fake photo.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 121
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 1/12/2012 11:00:57 AM
ForumQueen, I think the whole forginess aspect that you are talking about is very complex.

I have seen couples where the man cheated on the women and after the women had a child, he stopped and they lived happily ever after.

Of course often the someone will keep repeating the bad behaviour.

He told you about it, so he was up front and thought it was a big mistake on his part. That is in his favor.

I think you should follow your own heart on the matter, but I wouldnt accept a second " slip". I would forgive him and in the past I think I should have forgave someone who did this to me. But too late now.

 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 122
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 1/12/2012 11:04:17 AM
_Italiangirl , could be a transsexual, the poster did say forumQUEEN.

I have been to thailand, very difficult to tell about that even if you meet the person up from and personal.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 123
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 1/12/2012 11:17:05 AM

_Italiangirl_: the photo appears to me to be of a phenotypical M to F transperson, either pre-or post-op but definitely post hormone therapy/implant stage. Amusing how many males posted that she is "hot". She has a masculine face.
This is most likely a fake thread as well as a fake photo.


Interesting analysis. I was going to say that the photo appears to be taken in another dimension, with an entirely different gravitational field spatial orientation field such as cannot be found anywhere on the planet Earth. I'm thinking an entirely different solar system, possibly a parallel universe, and anyone who might date this "woman" will find themselves being slowly digested among numerous suction cupped armed tentacles and more teeth than you can possibly imagine.

That much being said, after looking at her photo again, I'd probably risk it.
 _Italiangirl_
Joined: 12/5/2010
Msg: 124
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 1/12/2012 11:19:19 AM
Attack of the 50 Foot Woman
Ticked Off Trannies With Knives

Both of these are actual B-horror films.
 attitude17
Joined: 10/8/2011
Msg: 125
Ok! Now he's slept with someone but is asking for forgiveness...?
Posted: 1/12/2012 2:42:13 PM
Definitely a Trannie! Great boobs! Im really jealous! Good luck to you!
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