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 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 76
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DATING OVER 60 MILESPage 4 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
DATING OVER 60 MILES

I had been on about 2 or 3 dates with a gal, and I knew she was driving out of town with her sister for the weekend. She called me on the way out of town to say "hi". I called her back about 10 minutes later and said "I'll meet you there."

It's the most spontaneous thing I've ever done - and the farthest I've ever driven for a date. Turns out she was also with another gal friend. I slept on the floor of the hotel room that night. I was with them all day and we drove back together. Kinda like a road trip movie, but no crazy outbursts or insane antics.

300 miles. Prior to that, the longest I drove was maybe 50 miles.
 Canandaigua_Momma
Joined: 12/16/2015
Msg: 77
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 9/14/2017 9:49:11 PM
I have been pleased with things and romantic life.
Both via online dating and through friends-of-friends.
 holaks
Joined: 5/25/2014
Msg: 78
DATING OVER 60
Posted: 10/18/2017 8:40:02 PM
I recently met a few older men who had lost their wives, and I felt like they weren't ready to really be in the moment. Most times they just need someone who will listen and feel for them, which is good. But, us old gals like to feel as tho we are the only thing that matters. Maybe its just me, but most the conversation centers around the deceased partner.
 holaks
Joined: 5/25/2014
Msg: 79
DATING OVER 60
Posted: 10/18/2017 8:45:05 PM
Hah Funny!!!!!
 spooky7752
Joined: 1/1/2017
Msg: 80
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/9/2017 4:51:24 PM
for me, that's the problem ! Where do 60 + go to meet ? not doing the bar thing, retired so no work connections, so what do ya do ???
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 81
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/9/2017 7:54:03 PM
Some very interesting men have contacted me....but they live too far away. Boo...Hiss...
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 82
DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/10/2017 5:01:20 AM
"Where do 60 + go to meet ? not doing the bar thing, retired so no work connections, so what do ya do ??? "

According to a fellow here named OHenry of around that age range, Meetup.com is one place to go. Otherwise i'm guessing churches and if your town has adult sports/classes in the evenings (indoor volleyball, Zumba, salsa dancing classes, etc).
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 83
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/10/2017 11:41:51 AM
Spooky, I know you're not here for a critique on your dogs if those are your dogs in the picture with you, but I can't see a picture like that and not comment that the dog on the right that's tan is obese to the point of dog abuse. That dog must be huffing and puffing and can barely walk. Dogs get the same problems we do from extra weight which can be diabetes, heart disease and it affects the other organs. It affects the hips and the legs, just really the entire body.

I have to think they do not eat a raw diet, but it would help with weight loss and the other one could use to lose a little weight also. I feed a pre-prepared raw diet from the pet food store. Kibble is inappropriate for dogs and contributes to weight gain, because of all the starch in the grains, but the ones that are grain-free are just a scam, because they substitute grain for starchy vegetables. Starch feeds inflammation, and most of diseases involve inflammation and it also rots their teeth. Kibble does not keep teeth clean. I want to cry looking at those poor little dogs! If your vet has said nothing, your vet sucks, which many do.

Mustang, women far outnumber the men in these meetup groups. It's more beneficial for men for meeting women, but it is a great resource for single ladies to get out with other single people.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 84
DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/10/2017 1:43:53 PM
What the hell? Why were you even looking at her profile?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 85
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/10/2017 4:56:58 PM

It's the most spontaneous thing I've ever done - and the farthest I've ever driven for a date. Turns out she was also with another gal friend. I slept on the floor of the hotel room that night.

Oh man, I would have kept rolling the dice in the "Screw it -- why not?" category... and Not sleep on the floor, but try your hand at having all 3 of ya'll to sleep in 1 bed! :)
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 86
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/11/2017 10:39:35 AM
Pig, I look at everyone's profile. Same reason why I just looked at yours even though I've seen it before. The new picture was intriguing to see the little pig, LOL. You were a cute piglet. I can't tease you and say, what happened now, LOL, because you pretty much look the same now.
 Profile_Cliche_Gurl
Joined: 10/9/2017
Msg: 87
DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/11/2017 11:40:26 AM
Yeah, message #83 should be construed as insulting a poster and in the past, Moderators would have sent the poster to ban camp:


CIVILITY: No Insults or baiting others into an exchange of insults. Condescension, derision, rudeness will not be tolerated and neither will personal libelous/defamatory characterizations - period. This forum was designed as a place to exchange and promote intelligent conversation, not as your personal medium to entice people into a meaningless exchange of hatred against one another. If this is your intent, then you will lose your privileges to participate.

Important One discusses the subject matter, not the poster's character.


Not cool.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 88
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/11/2017 12:52:38 PM
Profile, I don't know if this woman just got the dog and is working on bringing its weight down, but if I were to post a picture of a dog that was abused by overfeeding it, I would make mention that it is not my handiwork and I'm working on rehabbing the dog. I don't think pof allows pictures of animals that are suffering abuse. If it doesn't bother you, then that's okay. Enjoy.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 89
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/11/2017 1:47:02 PM
Oh brother, she didn't have the nerve to call the lady obese, so she went for the dog.
 spooky7752
Joined: 1/1/2017
Msg: 90
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/11/2017 2:49:28 PM
thanks for your concern but it might have been better had you asked questions BEFORE passing judgement. I had just adopted the dogs from a young couple who had 2 preemies. Once they got a bit older, they had to have extra snacks to help with their growth. Unfortunately, the toddlers, began feeding their treats to the dogs, and trying to ride them . The parents decided it would be in the best interests of the dogs to have them be adopted. I was lucky enough to get them. I am not a Vet (as you must be) but they were placed on a diet and had walks as a part of a regular exercise routine. Agin, thanks for your misplaced concern.
 9Pluto
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 91
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/11/2017 5:00:23 PM

for me, that's the problem ! Where do 60 + go to meet ? not doing the bar thing, retired so no work connections, so what do ya do ???


The lament of getting older^^^^

Ya do things that are attractive to the people you want to meet, hobbies, pastimes, activities, or volunteer/part-time paid work in a social setting. It is a time consuming process and focusing on self improvement can help with a sense of progress that others view as attractive, whether it be learning new skills, gaining new experiences, or simply eating right and staying healthy with the premises of things like yoga or joining an organization like the YMCA. If retirement is who you feel you are, find a retirement community where others congregate that are in the same pickle, while trying to maintain peace and humility.

Older folks to are less likely to change to suit you, yet may be deep down, very caring adults that don't want to be lonely either, regardless of race, creed, politics, or religion. Everyone that survives gets there, and there are many people that could be together right here on POF but they create senseless barriers and excuses, and may not really want to let anyone into their lives even as they feel they need someone. Imagine how many happy matches could be made if people would just close their eyes, trust, and start things a blank slate and focus on commonalities. It is ok to be different. Life sitting in the rocker with gramps who just agrees with everything you say, to not rock your boat is destined to be boring.

9
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 92
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/11/2017 5:15:31 PM
Flip Flop in 3...2...1...

Pluto gave good advice. Stay active. Do the things you enjoy doing. Perhaps explore new interests. In some places Meetup works. In my area it is the same core group of people going to all of the more social meetups. It is very cliquey. I joined meetup because I was hoping to expand my horizons but it turned out to be a bust.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 93
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/11/2017 5:27:04 PM
Day, why would I call her obese? She's not obese.

Spooky, I did say you could have just gotten the dogs. People adopt pets that need weight loss all the time. I commend you for taking them on. My concern may have been more unneeded than it was misplaced. I didn't know what the situation with the dogs was, and I love dogs, so I couldn't just not say anything.

I have my dog for over 15 years, and during this time, I have researched dog food. I can tell you for a fact that I know about dog food more than 99% of the vets. They don't get schooling in dog food. All they know to recommend are the crappy foods they carry, because they were taught by representatives of those companies in school for a few seminars. That would be Royal Canin and Science Diet. They're grain-based foods and they're not good for dogs, definitely not those prescription diets for weight loss. It's a low quality food. The person would do better feeding less of a high quality. A pre-made Raw would benefit those two, but it would be a little costly. Raw food doesn't have all those starchy grains and veggies; it encourages weight loss and of course has 100 other benefits.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 94
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/12/2017 12:57:35 AM

Pluto gave good advice. Stay active. Do the things you enjoy doing. Perhaps explore new interests. In some places Meetup works. In my area it is the same core group of people going to all of the more social meetups. It is very cliquey. I joined meetup because I was hoping to expand my horizons but it turned out to be a bust.


I can echo that very well.
I don't think they meant to be that way, but it happens. Some won't see it, or become oblivious to it going on. But the person being shut out sees it right away. And they go away long before they get missed. Then the question "What happened to.....?" gets asked too late. They have made a bad impression to the new folks in the group. That bad impression is hard to get out of. It can and does kill a group activity.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 95
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/12/2017 8:42:42 AM


Day, why would I call her obese? She's not obese.

Huh? Is it just me, or did anybody else read that and go “WTH???” This whole business about “fake news” and “nothing is true except what I make up in my own mind” is getting totally out of hand!


spot4username
In some places Meetup works. In my area it is the same core group of people going to all of the more social meetups. It is very cliquey. I joined meetup because I was hoping to expand my horizons but it turned out to be a bust.


purplerider1200
I can echo that very well.


Anytime you have a fairly large number of people (more than 10) getting together regularly, there are going to be “cliques”, or to use a kinder word, subgroups. That is just human nature, and if you’re dealing with human beings (which is the whole idea here), you’re going to have to deal with human nature.

Many people (even most people?) will tend to hang out with others who are like them, who have shared backgrounds, shared interests, commonalities. There are others who come to Meetups to “expand their horizons”, and you can tell who those people are. They will be the friendliest, the most outgoing, the ones who move around the room talking to the various subgroups.

purplerider1200
I don't think they meant to be that way, but it happens. Some won't see it, or become oblivious to it going on. But the person being shut out sees it right away. And they go away long before they get missed. Then the question "What happened to.....?" gets asked too late. They have made a bad impression to the new folks in the group. That bad impression is hard to get out of. It can and does kill a group activity.


You sound like the little kid who didn’t get picked for either team, and is going to take his ball and go home. You have to stick around long enough to make friends or no, you won’t be missed, and no one will notice that you didn’t come back. If you’re joining a Meetup group that has been in existence for several years, you have to show up more than once before people are going to accept you and open up.

I belong to several Meetup groups, and there is quite a bit of overlap between them, so when I go out with a new group, there are usually several people who know me from one or more other groups. It took me a while to get to that position, but it was well worth it. Pretty much every Meetup that I have ever attended, there were brand new people showing up for the first time. Many of those first timers wind up being “one and only”. They just don’t realize that you have to put in some effort.

No one is just going to walk up to you and say, “Hi. My name is Bill and I want to be your friend.” Life doesn’t work like that. You have to show up, talk to a lot of people. And keep showing up, and keep talking. After a while, people will remember you, people will call you by name, people will ask about whatever it was you talked to them about the last time you met. This is called “making friends”. No, it isn’t easy. Yes, it is worth it.

A separate question might be, “Is Meetup a good way to meet other singles for purposes of dating”? And I would say, “It works for some, and not for others.” As has already been pointed out, the numbers are skewed (average 3:1 women to men), and because of the subgroups, you can never date more than one woman in a subgroup – “You dated my friend, so I can never go out with you.”

And if you date someone in the Meetup group, and it doesn’t work long term, they may feel embarrassed and drop out of the group just so they won’t run into each other. A lose-lose proposition. So choose wisely, and only ask out the women who are adult enough to not fall into that category. The beauty of Meetup is that you CAN get to know them BEFORE you ask them out on a date.

Over all, it can be another tool in your tool box. Online dating, real life (talk to people in the grocery store, talk to people in the elevator, talk to people), Meetup groups, adult education classes, anything and everything.

And on the subject of OLD, branch out. Try different venues. Not just POF and OK*Cupid and Match. Try the newer venues, Tinder, Bumble, etc, what do you have to lose anyway? And … dare I say it? Yes, I dare to say it. There are no moderators, Ms A can no longer send me to “ban camp”.

Okay, so try the “unconventional sites”. Put up a free profile on AshleyM. Even with no picture, and no words in her profile, a woman in her 50’s will get 10 to 20 messages THE FIRST DAY. I have coached a number of women through this. Women who have been on the conventional sites for years, and had no dates. They go on AM, and they get dates.

And just because you meet on a sexually oriented site, does NOT mean the first meeting has to be at a motel. The first meeting is for coffee, just like here. The second meeting, the first date, can be dinner or drinks or … The expectation is that sex will follow in fairly short order, but is that such a horrible thing? Would you rather spend the rest of your life (what’s left of it) sitting at home lamenting the fact that you can’t get a date, or would you rather go out for a nice dinner, a little dancing, and maybe end the evening by getting lucky? Your choice.




 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 96
DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/12/2017 8:59:18 AM
Holy shit, New Yorker. Did you really expect her response to your lambasting post to be positive??
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 97
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/12/2017 9:49:53 AM
There are far more women in the general socializing groups for meetup. I joined because I came to WA state as a married person, and had no friends when divorcing. My first meet up was a big lake party where there were 90 people. I am not outgoing so in a way, a large group was good for me to disappear into. I spoke to people here and there and had a really great time. At any of the events, you could always get with whoever the host is to have them incorporate you or introduce you in some way.

People did naturally group together because they know each other for some time after attending events together. I never saw that anyone wasn't welcoming in those groups if you came over and spoke to them. I have met men through Meetup, but for myself I consider it a group to be social with and do activities with. I did plan an event myself. It was happy hour at a Puget Sound, mountain view, restaurant that has a deck. It was fun planning an event and hosting and was a great success.

Edit: Pig, Henry, I said in my post that I didn't know if she just got the dogs and was working on their weight, which turns out to be the case. People may adopt dogs and that's the way they are when they got them. I thought Spooky was pretty nice with her reply to me. She rescued those dogs and is working on their weight. About Spooky herself, I don't know why "Day" turned it around to be about Spooky, because it most certainly wasn't and why would it be? It was about the dogs.
 Profile_Cliche_Gurl
Joined: 10/9/2017
Msg: 98
DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/12/2017 10:08:23 AM
Whoosh!!


 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 99
DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/12/2017 10:34:02 AM

Spooky, I did say you could have just gotten the dogs.


Yes, AFTER your attack. A little too late.

 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 100
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DATING OVER 60
Posted: 11/12/2017 11:02:32 AM
I initially said I didn't know if they were her dogs. Besides rescue, people do foster dogs. I didn't say she made the dogs fat. If she did do that to the dogs, which she didn't, I have no problem calling someone out on that because it is abuse. People see a picture and don't think much of it, but I know what an obese dog looks like in person, and they can barely walk or breathe. If people saw an obese dog in motion, they would be aghast, because the suffering is obvious.
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