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 Mr.Messages
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 21
Hard to get. Does it work?Page 3 of 2    (1, 2)

Playing hard to get is a silly game that any self rspecting woman should refuse to play. What you need to do is stop chasing the women who play hard to get. There's a difference between playing hard to get and honestly not being interested in women who want you to chase them, although superficially, those two things might appear to be similar in that you aren't catering to the whims of another person.


Women who play hard to get....want to get it hard.
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 22
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/21/2011 1:33:23 PM
Agreed on the balanced approach.

Here's the thing: The types of people who respond to those sorts of approaches are not balanced individuals who are looking for mutual interest. They're people who enjoy the chase, which means that 1) they typically disrespect boundaries generally, and 2) they're likely to get bored without continued challenge. Think about the types of people you'd like to attract, and then consider what sort of approach those people are likely to respond to. I'm hoping it isn't this one; and if it is, best of luck, because you'll need it.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 23
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/21/2011 2:26:57 PM
^either way it was irrelevant.
If it was irrelevant, it shouldn't have been in your post.


I wasnt sure how to describe my relationship with her since were not actually dating, nor are we fvckbuddies.
How about saying "We are not dating. I met her a few times in different places. Every time I meet her I phuck her."

Geez, why make it difficult. Again, that description is not a RANDOM encounter. Your biggest problem is communication. You're not "hard to get" since she can score on you with little effort --- you're "hard to understand" since you can't seem to get it in your head that she's using YOU as a FB.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 24
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/21/2011 2:59:55 PM
If someone doesn't show interest, as far as I am concerned there is no reason to continue.
As far as whether or not you are coming on too strong, listen,watch and learn the cues of the other person the more you push someone the more they are going to get defensive.
This is what being attentive will get you, the knowledge of when to move forward or when to slow down.
 Dorkvader27
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 25
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/21/2011 6:18:20 PM
RWick got it figured out.

Nice display of low self esteem and no self confidence.
 RWick
Joined: 4/14/2011
Msg: 26
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/21/2011 6:44:27 PM
@Dorkvader- wtf you talkin about? That was incredibly vague.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 27
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/21/2011 10:23:38 PM
If anything....Aintnodeal is the one who does get it!
It might do you well to pay attention to him...
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 28
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Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/21/2011 10:59:36 PM
It's not about playing hard to get. It's about not falling all over yourself to get her. If you are interested then you can show that you are interested. But don't roll out the red carpet and start writing her into your will.
Showing that you are interested is called having 'confidence' in yourself. showing that while you are interested, you may also have other 'options' with your time (Romantic or otherwise) shows that you will not just be some welcome mat that will accept anything that she decides to dish out and that if she is interested in you that she needs to show it or lose you to other options.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 29
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Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/22/2011 10:15:43 AM
I suspect that "playing hard to get" is another one of those substitute behaviors that people come up with, to FAKE that they are actually real, ready-to-go people.

There are a few basic things that most of us want in a mate, and so that's what most look for. Things like confidence, being self-knowledgeable, dependability, and so forth.

Most of the "tricks" and "games" I've seen people play, could be said to boil down to them trying to give the APPEARANCE that they possess these qualities, without actually having accomplished the learning or work or personal development required to really have them.

Playing hard-to-get is one of these. It's a substitute cover for someone who has no set course for their lives, nothing going on, and are desperate to have someone else lead them through life. By playing hard to get, they give the illusion of being unavailable, when actually they haven't got a damn thing to do OTHER than wait for you to provide entertainment.

In the same way, guys pretending to be "bad boys" by slightly mistreating women, or being rude to them, are substituting that, for actually having confidence and self-knowledge. By being gruff, they hope that the woman will think they are not easily impressed, and are confident of their course in life. After the woman finds out that the guy was just doing that performance to get in their pants, they relabel them from "tempting bad boy," to "player."

As everyone else has said, putting on any pretense MIGHT get you through the door, but if you don't have the reality to back it up, you WILL get found out, and dumped, sooner or later.
 terri12
Joined: 8/4/2010
Msg: 30
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Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/22/2011 10:47:04 AM
It's not a question playing hard to get or acting as though you don't care-: A woman does need to know if you are interested and attracted to her but if you want more than casual sex, you need to take it slower and show her some respect. Although some women just want sex many others don't and the last thing they want is someone hassling them for sex on a first date.Take it your time; go out together; get to know her and let things develop gradually. Whatever you do don't chase her. Take the middle ground by asking her for another date etc. Hope this helps.
 Mr.Messages
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 31
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/22/2011 10:49:08 AM

As everyone else has said, putting on any pretense MIGHT get you through the door, but if you don't have the reality to back it up, you WILL get found out, and dumped, sooner or later.




Igor knows what he's talking about. That guy gives good solid advice from what I've read so far.


(Like I said without faking it just working on yourself to be your BEST self..)You have to be a mixture of "bad boy" and nice guy = Not a pushover yet not an A-hole. Self confident not****. Cool and calm. Relaxed yet fun. Not clingy yet not aloof. Not pushy. Nor worried if they don't call you back instantly or if they miss a time to get back to you..If they see by your actions you aren't dependant on them for making plans and living life or in need of their approval interest in you will tend to build..Be your BEST self.

Next time you see someone you like and are interested in..If you have a cool place you can think of let them know you're going to be there and that you should exchange numbers and could meet up there. This way you've let them know you are going there and if they want they can meet you there..(if not you are going anyway..right?)

You need to live your life for yourself first and have that person as a part of your life...not the whole of it. Not needing someone to "complete" you. Just be a part of your world and you part of theirs..till you possibly grow and become one. Simple.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 32
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Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/22/2011 10:51:22 AM
I agree with many posters here about it being a game, and/or some kind of issue. I think everybody can think someone is playing games. I think some people don’t know what a game is that their playing, out of habit, or out of lifestyle they have always lived, etc...

I think everybody should have their own busy lives, and like others here suggested; a person should compliment one’s life, not create a circus of performance!

If a person comes across as “hard-to-get”, I would take that kind of behavior as that person is not interested in me and my thoughts and feelings. I would take that as a form of rejection. Almost as if they are acting like they are too good for me, or they have so many women that one isn’t good enough for them. I would take that as a game. It’s the old cliché of human behavior that sets out to say, “make them want you”, and “What you can’t have or get, you'll want” kind of BS.

Like I said, we all take things differently. I'm not saying be a rag, doormat, or a fool.

If you want to get to know someone, show them! Treat her like a feminine lady! Send her some flowers if you’re too busy. Bring her a chocolate bar! Take her a beautiful hugh red apple! It’s the little things that matter the most! It shows her that you’re thinking about her.

Don’t hide and play games, it’s a very mean thing to do to another human being who wants to get to know you better!

Believe me, if she likes you, you don’t have to play hard to get! If she isn’t sure that she likes you, and you’re playing Russian roulette (hard to get), she’ll like you least! It’s a two sided sword, a game.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 33
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/22/2011 1:59:48 PM
"I said, well just for that ,now you don't get to borrow them to wear them when you go out with your BF
to that Star Trek convention next week"
(this vulcan midget is highly offened and wishes to throw his snowball at you)
 WinstonDoubtfire
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 34
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Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/22/2011 2:04:20 PM
Nah, only games I play involve hand-cuffs, whips and salad tongs.

 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 35
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/22/2011 6:15:25 PM
The hard to get thing or the uninterested act, only works if the women that you find attractive finds you attractive too. If she isn't interested, while you're playing this game she's looking at other guys.
 pastyandtasty
Joined: 6/16/2011
Msg: 36
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/22/2011 8:07:14 PM
Can`t believe that people still contemplate playing games in this day and age.
 cin____dy
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 37
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/25/2011 1:04:44 AM
Balanced approach is good. You can explain your liking her but if she does not reciprocate, you then back off. It is forward and back usually to most dating. I don't see it as a game but more not over imposing on someone. If they do not return the same actions or feelings, then you should not push it too much.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 38
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/25/2011 4:13:06 AM
you simply care too much what someone else thinks. Quit it. Quit trying to impress them, play games appear what you are not. Get a big dose of apathy, chase it with indifference and look at her like your mother...(unless you have Oedipal issues) You want nothing from her, and there is nothing that she can grant to you .
Its liberating. It cuts through the shiate quickly.
find a big plate of "I aint here for you" and mean it. It isnt playing hard to get if you arent interested.
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 39
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/25/2011 5:58:33 AM
It works great if you are not doing it intentionally.

But maybe if you just learn to chill out a little. They don't need to know about Ma in the rocking chair in the attic, your women's jewelry trophies, your giant deep freezer and heavy duty chipper shredder just yet.

How do you tell her you are interested? If you want her to know you are interested in her looks, and sex, comPliment those. If you are interested in her AS A PERSON, prove that you have observed something about her that makes her HER by pointing it out and complimenting that, or expressing curiousity, OR showing the two of you have it in common. Then put the ball in her court, if she responds back in kind, she is interested FOR THE MOMENT. Pursue the same tactic several times over, quantity of trait interests/shared in common equal quality for a woman. The more the better.

I know a not so beautiful chubby guy who has always done this and he ALWAYS lets the woman make the first move, and it works rather well for him. her kiss gets his kiss, her tongue gets his, her skin gets his.
 persistentFingers340
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 40
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/27/2011 5:41:32 AM
Don't play games. If she earns your attention by displaying that she has the things that you are looking for, whether beauty, wit, intelligence, etc..., then by all means show your interest in her. Reward her. Be romantic. But if you are not interested in her, let her know that too. And finally, if you are your BEST self, and she doesn't realize that, then it's her loss. Simple.
 MissStackhouse
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 41
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/27/2011 5:50:26 AM
When I was in high school, my sister-in-law told me "don't play hard to get - be hard to get". People are generally attracted to those who have nice, full lives.
 WinstonDoubtfire
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 42
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Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/27/2011 6:49:10 AM
There's a fine line between hard-to-get and stuck-up-*****.
I've met plenty of the latter. D:
 tonita
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 43
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Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/27/2011 7:18:01 AM
OP>>Are you still with this girl now?? From reading your profile youseem like a down to earth military man... u can do much better than someone that wants you to play games...don't be pulled into her drama!! Be yourself and forget it... You will get nowhere by acting a certain way because that is not you... GOOD LUCK!!!
 Monike2011
Joined: 12/18/2010
Msg: 44
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Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/27/2011 1:39:33 PM
None of those games matter.

We are all adults right?

If you need to play a game, maneuver, etc. to get a woman, something is wrong with you.

Stop worrying and go after the women you like. If she likes you back, you'll know. Don't sweat it.

Be real, be a man. Have fun.

Good luck!
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 45
Hard to get. Does it work?
Posted: 9/27/2011 1:42:15 PM
playing hard to get is a bs game that will get you dumped in seconds. Try a more direct approach, like getting to know her and asking her number at the right time. (if you see her on a regular basis.)
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