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 soccerboi11
Joined: 11/17/2011
Msg: 89
Refusal to have unprotected sex.Page 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I used to have a similar problem with a recent Ex of mine. She wanted me to do that, and not use a condom sometimes. We were together for over 2 and 1/2 years. But I would not, But I did not use a condom sometimes, since we were together for so long. Now the answer, she was fine with my decision, just like she told me if "someone was made" she wasn't sure of abortion. So I told her that I would use a condom. But she was fine with my decision, as I was with her's. I believe communication is the best solution for most relationship problems. So I would say sit down with her, and discuss it with her in a serious way.
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 90
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/12/2012 1:25:08 PM
Here's to ya ! I wish there were more young men as responsible and aware as you seem to be !

You may have done the right thing - but being as it's the wrong thing to your girlfreind - hard to know how this will end ...

Best of luck to you both !
 karenkay1303
Joined: 2/26/2012
Msg: 91
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/12/2012 2:13:05 PM
I've refused to have unprotected sex too. I've gotten the cold shoulder, told I'm not fun, made fun of....you name it. I don't really care. My reproductive rights are MINE just like yours are yours!

I wouldn't let anyone pressure you into that situation. For all you know, she could have a screw loose and think getting pregnant is the easy path to your wallet. Or just really want a baby and you seem like a decent sperm donor. Or... you getting off inside her could be a fetish... I have that problem :P

Whatever the reason is, don't bow to pressure. It's your life.

PS... I would consider supplying my own condoms out of her reach, especially if she starts baby talk.
 cion3
Joined: 7/17/2011
Msg: 93
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/13/2012 4:51:16 AM
your profile is not hidden.
 tlcme1964
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 94
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/13/2012 7:08:07 AM
I'm guessing complete moron isn't just a screen name for complete moron who is deriding the OP for being on POF while in a relationship. Probably believes here for the forums is exclusively for women too.... dumb *ss.

I don't blame the OP for not wanting to chance an unplanned pregnancy in this day & age. Maybe she would get off on it, but he was smart enough to think about the potential repercussions of her few minutes of pleasure & rightfully so refused. I'd suggest a vasectomy but your young & I assume haven't ruled out kids in the future. Stick to your guns.
 TOEDWY
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 95
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/13/2012 7:18:55 AM
You totally did the right thing. You know what the alternative could spell, and there is no reason you should lose sleep wondering what kind of time bombs are ticking!
 jessrar9
Joined: 2/6/2012
Msg: 96
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/13/2012 7:38:26 AM
I never read any other responses.. but you don't want any other children and are just relying on her taking birth control? Ever hear of pre-cum? Sure birth control has a low failure rate.. but that's only if you take it very very consistently, how do you know she does that? Do you watch her take her pill at the same time everyday?
Maybe she's so insistent on you cumming in her so she can get knocked up.
If it were my brother I would tell him not to be so stupid and to wrap it the eff up!
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 97
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/13/2012 7:45:35 AM
I think you did the right thing.
I can't know if this is a trust issue or not as you didn't speak to that.
But if your not ready to be a father, your not ready to be a father and she should respect that........and this is a discussion you should have had BEFORE having sex with her the first time...
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 98
view profile
History
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/13/2012 2:56:39 PM
Its both ridiculous and pathetic for a woman to have any issue whatsoever with a man not wanting to splooge in her fun tunnel considering the legal implications of doing so

And a woman who does make a big deal about this really just comes across as though they were looking to either trap someone into an unwanted fatherhood and/or 18 years worth of child support


I do accept that for many, if not most women theres an added sensation as well as psychological enhancements to sex that come with the mixing of bodily fluids but its time women yanked their heads out of the mills and boon/fairy tale nonsense and into the reality that being honest they have asked for anyway

The ONLY time a man should be having unprotected sex with a woman is when he specifically wants a child. Doing so at any other time at all irrespective of the seriousness of the relationship and he's a fool. And if she cant see that he should really be considering finding a new partner who has more common sense and less of a spoilt little princess outlook
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 99
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/13/2012 3:18:32 PM
phantomoftheopera1- You say you trust her, but you don't, not really.
You have had one child already when you thought birth control was being used and now you are not wanting that to happen again.
Her insistence that you come inside her makes you suspicious.
Honestly, I don't blame you.
It doesn't sit well with me either.
Why is she making a federal case out of this?
The bottom line is this- You have told her how you feel and why and she should respect that.
If this continues, you may have to rethink if she's truly the right person for you.
What do I advice you to do? Stick to your guns and let her know that the case is closed for further discussion. You don't have to be mean about it, let her know in as loving a way as possible that you care about her, but you just aren't going to risk an unplanned pregnancy and also let her know that you will NOT change your mind.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 100
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/13/2012 3:21:23 PM
Any woman who refuses protected sex is an idiot. She may have STD's or you may and not know it. I would be suspicious of her motives. Usually it is the guys who object to protection. If only more men were like you!!!! However you are on this dating site so I think you have one foot out the door despite your protestations of love for this woman. You do not trust her and rightly so.
 JoseMadre
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 101
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/13/2012 4:20:03 PM
I don't engage in premarital sex, but for those who are predisposed to do so... IT IS INSANE TO DO SO WITHOUT PROTECTION. My 20 year old neighbor has a best friend who is now HIV+ and the girl is not a drug user. Her future now, barring a cure, is much more limited than it would have been. She wanted to have a family someday. Not very likely now. She was just another kid out there playing Russian Roulette, thinking the gun would never go off. Definitely not worth it.
 341islife
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 102
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:00:12 PM
you 100% did the right thing. do you know almost all women will entrap you if you willingly donate your sperm. you called her on it.
she was planning you as daddy donor.

i sooooooooo NOT~~~~~~
want to have any loaded guns pointed at me!!
no moooooooooooooooo re babies from this baby factory
ewe

 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 103
view profile
History
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:24:42 PM
You sure did do the right thing. I guess the only issue now is if your girlfriend thinks that you don't trust her or not. Personally, I would be tempted to check her BCP container to see if she's been taking them, and if not, I would hit the road.
 Jazzplenty2012
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 104
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:35:09 PM
I think that you did the right thing!!! It seems that your girlfriend is a little on the immature side!!! I think that she is looking to find out exactly how committed you are to her! I bet that in her head, if you risk cumin inside her,"in her head, it means you are hers!" I think that you should have a conversation with her and tell her exactly what you explained to us, as your reasons for not wanting to procreate!!! If she doesn't understand, then it will show you her immaturity or lack of self esteem!! I think she's looking to trap you... A smart woman would see that you love her and wait for you to fully commit to her IMO!!! Hope that helped!!!
 Jazzplenty2012
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 105
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:35:57 PM
I think that you did the right thing!!! It seems that your girlfriend is a little on the immature side!!! I think that she is looking to find out exactly how committed you are to her! I bet that in her head, if you risk cumin inside her,"in her head, it means you are hers!" I think that you should have a conversation with her and tell her exactly what you explained to us, as your reasons for not wanting to procreate!!! If she doesn't understand, then it will show you her immaturity or lack of self esteem!! I think she's looking to trap you... A smart woman would see that you love her and wait for you to fully commit to her IMO!!! Hope that helped!!!
 onlydateIF
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 106
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/13/2012 8:27:53 PM
Hi OP, I don't think you are overreacting at all. I understand you love your gf, but a child is not something to gamble on. You are being responsible, very much so, and she could choose to love you even more for your restraint. It's your body, and you absolutely have a right to wear a glove if that's your choice. She nees to recognize the ways you DO love her rather than make this such a huge issue. If it's possible she is in the throes of her own ticking clock and desire to get pregnant, she also needs to respect that you don't share this. If it's irremediable for her, sorry to say, but she can pick someone who shares her desire to have a baby (should it be her secret wish to make an oops baby). I'm guessing you have remained constant in this regard and she may at times waffle, even if she does take the pill currently.Not that any of us can possibly know whether there are or are not ulterior motives, but your caution is fully right and appropriate. This is the kind of issue that can make or break relationships. It truly is that important. All the best to you both
 Meems919
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 107
Refusal to have unprotected sex.
Posted: 3/13/2012 8:43:27 PM
Hi. I read your whole post, and without reading much of anyone else's responses, I think this was a deal breaker for you, and you did the right thing. It's not acceptable for your partner to insist on this risky behavior without having discussed it BEFORE YOU WERE HAVING SEX. I, myself, *would* suspect her reasons. Are you going to marry in the future? Does she want to marry and you don't? Are there issues of commitment? It's cliche, but women sometimes do things like this, getting pregnant, in order to "keep their man". I am not casting aspersions, just sayin......

Talk about it when cooler heads (sorry for the pun) prevail. If she is unreasonable, you need to seriously re-assess what you're doing with her. No matter how much you love her, this is IMPORTANT
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