Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > California  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 LovelyisDeedee
Joined: 8/27/2012
Msg: 325
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?Page 13 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
@LAGOODGUY Wink wink means.. I'm flirting with you. I'm just old fashion when it comes to what men are suppose to do. But, I will cook and clean and listen if I'm being provider for and don't have to work.
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 326
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/11/2012 12:06:50 PM
"Women come with instructions. Just ask one!"

Women: If you want to go through life being a freeloader, keep it up. Just expect never to date again and become a cat lady or something.
 LovelyisDeedee
Joined: 8/27/2012
Msg: 327
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/11/2012 12:16:49 PM
Rabbitman your my biggest fan. I'm flattered!!
 blacksweet
Joined: 11/19/2010
Msg: 328
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/11/2012 1:17:43 PM
a true lady will pay for sum part of the date let it be the water at least
 Amber1114
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 329
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/16/2012 4:01:30 PM
In my opinion if a guy ask's you out he should pay yup but a women with class should and most of the time will pay for herself
 sollty
Joined: 10/11/2012
Msg: 330
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/19/2012 5:56:47 PM
It's gentlemanly to pay for the woman but if she goes overboard with her order I find that a headlock with an added noogie can be very influential.
 Ignite209
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 331
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/21/2012 10:52:17 AM
Im old fashioned, and believe the guy should pay. But, that gets expensive after say 5 first dates. Back in the day, most women didnt work, so if a man wanted to take a woman out, he paid cuz she had no money. Nowadays women still expect the man to pay, which, as I said Im ok with.
 OCRebellion
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 332
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/27/2012 9:39:35 PM
Msg 515...

A woman's career ambition and paycheck does not negate her from wanting a chivalrous man. Granted, there are some, because there are no absolutes either way. I have a great career and do well for myself because I am not looking for a paycheck in a man, I am looking for a man; the intangible qualities. Those which may deem a man chivalrous. His paycheck doesn't do that; his life choices do. Interestingly enough, I know of some very successful women in the business world that are very submissive and nurturing in their personal lives. So stop hating on the successful, beautiful, powerful, confident women. ... ;)
 OCRebellion
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 333
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/28/2012 3:51:45 PM
To Msg 517..

YUP...went and re-read it. Missed any positive part because you then qualified it that "these women" expect A, B, C to Z about men – which is not true, or perhaps it was YOUR poor grammar that made it difficult to navigate your entire post. You then go on to equate a career woman with a woman that does not expect chivalry. So YOU said it! Perhaps YOU need to go back and read YOUR post, before replying.

Let me restate AGAIN.... Chivalry is NOT connected to a man paying! Chivalry is courage, honor, justice, a willingness to help the weak. No where does it say...pay for a woman on your date. Chivalry is, allbeit old fashioned on many levels but still good, the intangible qualities that men possess in relation to their moral code. A man can be all of these things while, at the same time, not be a walking wallet of endless financial means.

A man not paying for a date is another story. It can be considered inappropriate, rude, etc. However, at the same time, a woman who expects a man to pay might just be looking for a free meal, or maybe she was rude and he feels used. The knife cuts both ways on stereotyping – maybe they both went into the situation with a preconceived agenda of what they expected to get out of the date. Perhaps BOTH genders should better communicate their "paying" positions so as to avoid any potential awkward moments. If you expect a man to pay, perhaps you should put that in your profile. If a man offers to pay for our date, I consider it a gracious gesture, but never do I expect him to do so. If we see each other multiple times, even if not committed, I definitely would reciprocate on the paying.
 OCRebellion
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 334
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/28/2012 11:01:20 PM
Thanks Steve. Can you tell that I'm over the "entitled skenk" thing....lol.
 caligirl8725
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 335
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/29/2012 11:06:18 AM
Call old fashion but back in the days I say my parent's century a man never let a women pay if on a date ever ever and even my mother said this her self he never let her pay one dime and they didn't go to extra fancy places she was from another part of the world and so was he. In fact now they split bills and all but he pays major bill rent bills she pays maybe one bill and no she doesn't take advantage of him its just how it shall be a man should be paying the rent or house payment if he can afford it when married its a mans job too make it happen. I am not saying women cant either but from experience once a man gets used to you paying they never wanna pay again and play the game i forgot my wallet way way more on you. Its ok if they work and both split bills but remember this the women shouldnt be paying for everything either half half or like my parents ok when she had her children she stayed home and took care of us while dad worked then she went back too work. I am probably gonna get lots of mean messages but soo be it thats my thought. I mean honestly its not nice when you get asked on a date then you have too pay its like not even a date its how guys show off dont have too be expensive can even be a ice cream place :D
 caligirl8725
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 336
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/29/2012 11:07:33 AM
I totally agree with you on this it seems time passes men are just not men no more they act like childs lol
 OCRebellion
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 337
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/29/2012 1:04:24 PM
Steve - do you really think I give a crap about what the forum people think? Survey says....no. However, I can't say that I "never" use my gender to get the upper hand, but that's a whole other thread...lol. We live in different times; not only economic, but gender roles as well. Interestingly enough, I typically find that the women who expect a man to pay fall into a certain "demographic."

Caligirl...it appears that your dad also didn't support academic achievements either, given your poor grammar. We aren't living in the last century when woman's role was different from what it is now. Things have evolved.
 Green_Jello44
Joined: 6/19/2011
Msg: 338
view profile
History
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/29/2012 1:21:41 PM

People who feel entitled and expect things given to them typically don't appreciate it. Their selfish demands and expectations will only get worse as the relationship goes on. You can usually tell what type of woman you're with on the first date if she says Thank you or offers to buy you a drink or something later. Is there reciprocation or is it all about her, and her desire to be a princess?


I'm going to spraypaint this quote somewhere on the 405..........as another guy who always pays for everything, and no I don't expect sex, and no its not 3 dates and out if she doesn't give it up......all I can say is I'm an idiot for feeding all the women in california while i could have saved lives in africa.......
 Black_Dread
Joined: 7/28/2012
Msg: 339
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/30/2012 7:20:14 AM
Paying for the first date is totally fine, as long as we go somewhere within my means. That rules out the ridiculous $300-500 range i saw posted earlier. That has to be a joke.

My main pet peeve is going on multiple dates and her never once offering to pay for stuff. I start to feel like i'm being used, and no one likes feeling like a sucker.
 Rain587
Joined: 7/20/2012
Msg: 340
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/30/2012 11:48:11 AM
Where are you taking your dates for $300 - $500? I can do a short cruise to Baja Ca for that amount and port at Catalina at that!
 Black_Dread
Joined: 7/28/2012
Msg: 341
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/30/2012 1:21:46 PM
Multiple dates with the same woman, i thought that was implied in my post. I don't feel like i should have to say something, it's only common courtesy to at least offer to chip in. I typically just cool off and my interest in her lowers a lot. I'll try saying something next time, uncomfortable as it might be.
 Black_Dread
Joined: 7/28/2012
Msg: 342
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/30/2012 1:24:37 PM
Yes, Steve that's what i was referring to. Complete and utter nonsense. Textbook gold digging right there.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 343
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/30/2012 4:45:42 PM
The funny thing the women who mentioned the $300-500 per date don't consider themselves as gold diggers. They do think thats how things supposed to be. The guys would spend all this money on them cause they deserve it. If the guy won't spend the money on them that means he don't care/value them enough. After all they are above the avg woman we meet every day. Thats how they want us the men to show we care for thier company. I'm sure there are guys who would pay or those women would have changed thier mind by the time they are 40+ ...
 OCRebellion
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 344
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/30/2012 10:07:40 PM
Sunnie? Hmmm...more like Cloudy with a side of bitterness. First, I see you berating one statement...and out of context at that. I see you bypassed my other response, but that's ok. So let's go...

First, this is a public forum, so if I and/or ANYONE choose to post and share their POV here they can. If YOU don't like it, then you can choose to leave and I'm not on the wrong board. My comment about women being successful in the business world and submissive and nurturing in their personal lives was referring to your assumption that these women are on a power trip 24/7 and just as demanding of men in their personal lives. It had NOTHING to do with a career of a sexual nature and for you to even think so, shows a highly limited POV and/or disdain for successful women. There is nothing in what I said that would even show a glint of disrespect for themselves, their children or their families (should I use smaller words so that you can understand). It's also interesting and hypocritical of you to say I shouldn't nick pick, which should actually be "nit pick" at others, when that is exactly what you did to me, plus you took it to the level of saying I work on a street corner for my business; sounds like drama and slander. Wow...how small of you in your double-standard delusional driven world. Oh and sorry to disappoint you, but I work in corporate America, with a gorgeous office and an impeccable professional reputation.

And once again you go on the rant about the man paying and the woman staying at home. Hey if you have no means or aspirations to be a powerhouse in the workforce and choose to stay home - go for it. Again, don't hate on those that choose differently. And yes, some believe that the woman can or should stay home and great for their choice. They are equally right for the individual person that has made that choice. However, who are you to tell anyone that staying home and raising a child is the most important job? That’s your belief and your choice, but not the right choice for everyone. Furthermore, it is asinine to say that it takes “a real women” – which should be “woman” to stay home and run a household. ROFL…is that your measure of a real woman? However, after reading your profile and seeing where you are from, the picture has come into focus. So, going back to the paying thing... If you believe the man should always pay, then put that notice on your profile, along with letting him know that you expect to stay home. Just don’t expect everyone to have and/or support the same beliefs you do.
 Rain587
Joined: 7/20/2012
Msg: 345
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/30/2012 10:41:35 PM
I skimmed a bit so misunderstood. I thought he meant per first date. Sometimes I don't have long to read a lot of posts. It's an interesting thread with different views. I have learned if I meet the same type of man that isn't good for me then I need to evaluate myself. Same goes for those attracting expensive women.
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 346
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/30/2012 10:43:16 PM
I live in northern Cal in a very rural, sparely populated county. I think we are the second or third poorest county in California. I ask for coffee dates, not dinner dates when first meeting someone--sort of like a "meet and greet" and always Dutch.

I have become creative on how to pic up the tab for a dinner, mostly because I do have a very good job (if you are even employed full time up here you are doing better than most) and many whom I date are struggling.

I also do real well finding cheap things to do on dates---like all the festivals and rodeos/gymkhanas up here. That way, if he insists on paying, it's not a torpedo to his wallet.

I never have understood the "princess" attitude that makes a woman feel she is entitled to expensive dates and gifts. I equate those women with certain species of spider--the male presents the female with a wrapped insect victim so she concentrates on unwrapping the gift and he can boink her and get out of harm's way

Oh yeah, and one reason I am still single are thoughts like the above popping into my head and finding their way out spoken or in print, amatuer entomolgist/arachnologist nonwithstanding :P
 zurichdublin188
Joined: 8/14/2012
Msg: 347
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/31/2012 9:00:13 PM
Look...I wish I could go on vacation and just "romp"...you know...I'd like to do that...

You know...you can sit here and wish it was different...and you can look at it...and you know...

REALLY...REALLY, TRY TO CHANGE IT...

Its when you are helping and contributing everything you can to make the world a better place...

Its a thing where its like "Lets Go".

Man...you are either in...or you are OUT...
 zurichdublin188
Joined: 8/14/2012
Msg: 348
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/31/2012 9:02:13 PM
I want to know that I've done everything I can...every day...

You know...we've got to do more work...

We've got to get those women THAT ARE SPECTATORS:

Either on the playing field...OR GET THEM OUT OF THE ARENA!!!
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 349
view profile
History
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/1/2012 4:57:40 PM
I am from Northern California too. Things must be different up here :) I am in a country type area, and there are a few buckle bunnies, but no princesses lol
When setting up that first meet, and things are spelled out, and she can't seem to be able to buy her own coffee... that should tell ya whats going on.
What is odd to me is that it never was an issue. Nor was it even brought up. One guy paid for a first meet lunch, but at the others I bought my own coffee. Only one ended up being the right guy, after 2 and a half hours of talking at the coffee house, then we went home to feed our respective horses and went out to dinner. He paid, he insisted. We have been dating for 9 months, and we seem to trade off pretty evenly, except I usually don't take him out, I cook at home.
I think folks worry too much sometimes. No one is "entitled" to anything. It just goes how it goes.
Show ALL Forums  > California  >