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Show ALL Forums  > California  > Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?      Home login  
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 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 368
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?Page 23 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
Ok, so it refers to belt buckles and not shoe buckles. Got it.

Yes, I did repeat myself - because it seems as if (other) people aren't reading. Had they, there'd be no question. ;-)
 Perspektiv
Joined: 10/31/2012
Msg: 369
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/4/2012 4:41:20 AM
I never pay anything on the first meet, as I always meet up doing things that fall under my interests, and ensure it is also part of the interests of those I'm meeting (I.E Walks around nice parks, rollerblading, biking, anything of the like).

I would rather know for sure, I get along with you, before moving onto actual dating.

That said, I ask a girl on a date, I'll pay. To me, it's an accepted expectation that doesn't bother me, if I like the woman.

That said, if we're on 3-4 dates, and I'm still paying (without her ever offering to go dutch), I'd cut the girl loose rather quickly. I've been in a serious relationship with a girl like that, and it's cost me the majority of the contents of my bank account (in terms of life savings).
 Black_Dread
Joined: 7/28/2012
Msg: 370
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/4/2012 9:34:25 AM
Yep, that's how i feel about the issue as well.
 GTASTEVE
Joined: 3/6/2011
Msg: 371
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 2/4/2013 1:10:48 PM
I look at POF as an online introduction tool, in lieu of a nature "guy meets gal" situation or setup.
With that in mind.. I try to do a first meet up in a public place that I might naturally meet someone and strike up a conversation. By doing this we have the option to hang out more and chat over a cup of coffee, or end it early and go on our way.
I can usually tell how interested someone is by having the follow up phone conversation, and if I am interested enough, I will ask the person out on a first date and expect to pay. There is no magic method to finding out if someone is just dating for entertainment or genuinely interested in your companionship, you have to trust your feelings.

By the second date, I can usually find hints to how fiscally responsible they are was well as how genuine, regardless if they offer to pay or not. Based on how I feel I will decision on if I would like to proceed further.
Again phone conversations to build rapport and figure out if we can sync up are essential

Case in point, I had a relationship with a single mom, who told me on the second date that she appreciated being taken out, but didn't have much money to reciprocate at such a level, I found it quite endearing that she would mention this. I knew that I was appreciated so the cost of fun outings were secondary only to us both enjoying each others company.

I suppose you just have to proceed with whatever way is comfortable with you. If you ever feel like you have been put out of balance you only have yourself to answer to.. Perhaps it is best to talk about it early, and if your date takes offense, then maybe you don't need to be hanging around them.
 mamasboy069
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 372
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 2/4/2013 1:58:35 PM
i pay full + 10%,as long it donut shop at 6 in morn,thats right donut shop not stabucks or starbucks wat eva they call it hahahah









hows that hope an change workinout 4 u?
ur only as good as ur worst employee.
 Ari5667
Joined: 1/30/2013
Msg: 373
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 2/4/2013 3:33:23 PM
I find that if I'm doing the inviting, then I pay, if it's the other way around, the woman usually pays. I have no problem paying though. It's usually a fun date.
 JenSnider
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 374
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 2/4/2013 9:15:42 PM

I find that if I'm doing the inviting, then I pay, if it's the other way around, the woman usually pays. I have no problem paying though. It's usually a fun date.


That's my general rule too, although if it's something like getting coffee or a smoothie then I perfer Dutch treat
 phil7613
Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 375
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 2/5/2013 12:20:50 AM
How about walking the isles at Costco while talking then pizza or a hot dog and coke , its not the event its about communicating .
 mike215215
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 376
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 2/5/2013 7:54:51 AM

How about walking the isles at Costco while talking then pizza or a hot dog and coke , its not the event its about communicating


what if she does not have a membership?? ;-) i'd give her a hot dog all right!
 melodyof_k
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 377
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 2/6/2013 4:17:45 PM
I love my life living in a small town in Northern Ca.
we dont even have restaurants that high priced.
I would not have a first date at a high priced (high priced for this area) restaurant unless the man insisted.
alot of men like to do that.
when else do they get to go out to a nice place? maybe they want to go there and dont want to go alone.

I always have my money with me,...I offer to pay especially on a first meet,...
some men say ok and they want to go dutch.
usually I have noticed that those men are more in touch with their feminine side and they will say so.
They are more into enmeshed gender roles. The other men are more old school and are more masculine with defined gender roles.
but on a date I dont think that I have ever split a bill. only on "dates" with friends not potential boyfreinds.
the men dont ever ask and they ask me out and its just so uncommon around here to go dutch.

I am more attracted to strong masculine men who appreciate the difference between traditional male and female roles.
its not the money,...its the entire feeling. the mood.
the last thing I want to do is spend time eating dinner with someone whose company I dont enjoy just to have a free dinner. I cant even see why anyone would want to do that. I would prefer to eat at home by myself before spending time eating at some expensive or unexpensive restaurant with someone I dont want to be with.

as for the answer....NO there are no shoulds. Men should not be required to pay on the first meet or date or for anything they dont want to pay for.
Women should be prepared with their own money and if they dont like the man not paying...just dont accept another date.
times have changed....some people changed with the times...and some havent.

there is sometimes that slightly awkward moment at a first meet when you dont know who is paying for what. I have my money ready or something in view so he knows that I can and am willing to pay. there are just too many personality types to know what is going on inside someones head and why they want to pay all of it or go dutch.

sometimes at a first meet I will say...."thankyou I will pay for mine"
I find that most men around this area dont particuarly like that....unless they are in touch with their feminine side and are into all that lib stuff.
 mamasboy069
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 378
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 2/6/2013 5:09:17 PM
HUH^^^^^^^^^^









hows that hope an change workinout 4 u?
ur jus as good as ur worst employee.
 RIDENHI
Joined: 3/2/2013
Msg: 379
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 3/7/2013 9:15:54 PM
I enjoy paying for dinner weather we hit it off or not ..Its just the way you are raised .To be a gentlemen ..Id just quietly take the check and pay the bill It has nothing to do with any other reason then just being a gentlemen ..
 Jennywillwin
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 380
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History
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 3/10/2013 7:08:01 PM
I don't mind going Dutch but what happened to me on my first (and last with him) date was really rude.

I met him at a casual restaurant where you order your food at the counter, it still takes a while to cook it so you go back and pick it up. What happened is I was about 15 minutes late, he ordered and paid for his without me. After I arrived and found this out, I went up to the counter and ordered and paid for mine. I was late, I didn't mind paying for my own lunch. What he didn't do was escort me to the counter or anything else that would have shown good manners.

After our lunch, it got worse. I will spare you all the details up until close to the end. We were somewhere else, by this time he had been rude several times. We ordered 2 cheap beverages then I stepped away to look at something. When I looked back at the counter, I saw him still talking to the cashier. In one hand he had a credit card, in the other hand was a $100 bill. He was debating which to do but really hesitating with either one. He looked back at me with a certain look on his face, I asked him, "Do u want me to pay for it?" he said, "Yes". That was when I said, "You can pay for it." and he did. We drank our drinks and said bye, notice I left out the GOOD of a good-bye.


The whole afternoon, he was sizing me up. Normally I would never say "You can pay for it" but he honestly deserved it. He was the worst date I had ever had and wouldn't you know he was my first date after getting divorced. My dates since then have not improved very much.
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