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Show ALL Forums  > California  > Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?      Home login  
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 Jpl85
Joined: 9/25/2011
Msg: 51
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?Page 3 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
I'm someone that won't let a gal pay, especially for a first date.
 Rain587
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 52
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/15/2011 9:25:47 AM
I agree with MsAngelCat. Those that insist on expensive first meets or dates usually are more concerned about what they can get whether it's sex or financial.

Depending how long I've been talking to someone before a meet it's usually coffee, tea, or a place we both have interest in but doesn't take hours in case the chemistry isn't there.

To the old fashion men that insist on paying and not expecting - I want to say thank you. Not many of you left. It doesn't mean I want paid for all the time, it just means old fashion men have some respect, open car doors, and usually show their best manners.

I believe the person asking the other out should have a plan in motion (movie, museum, walk...) and be prepared to pay for it. If you are a woman asking the man, get the tickets ahead of time so you don't argue over payment. Easy fix.
 ced4
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 53
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/16/2011 2:12:42 PM
I think it's fair to say that the lady suppose to pay on the first date.
 markhos32
Joined: 10/12/2011
Msg: 54
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/16/2011 10:46:17 PM
I don't mind paying the full amount since I don't get out much.
 alexmagnan21
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 55
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/17/2011 6:59:11 PM
Normally the common courtesy is; Whoever asks for the date initially should pay. Whether it's the man or the woman. And if he/she thinks they're too good to pay for a first date, or any date of that matter, then they obviously have a sense of entitlement...and they are sorely mistaken. I've been on dates and the girl offered to pay. Odd? It's because SHE asked ME out. When I've asked girls out, I will pay because I'm the one who asked for the date. Anyways, I hope this helps.
 fra59e
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 56
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/17/2011 8:50:38 PM
4forumsonly says:


I will say this, when I am NOT interested in a man, I will INSIST on going dutch.


If she has high enough self-esteem to take charge of the situation she will pay the whole thing, not just half.
 fra59e
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 57
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/17/2011 9:05:14 PM


My point was that by stating that you are not expecting sex just because you spent a bunch on an activity or dinner on a date that it makes it much more likely that the date will lead to it.

Any woman who has sex not because she WANTS it but because she thinks it is owed to him is not the kind of woman you are likely to want in your life. She is for sale, a piece of merchandise, not a whole and complete human being with desires and the ability to give to others and to accept gifts for herself. Personally I would blow off any woman whose participation in sex was based on a business transaction as if sex is payment for her dinner. I want women who desire me just as much as I desire them, and people who seek to GIVE to each other, not just purchase time together. I do not rent women's companionship but love to give and receive gifts of affection.


 fra59e
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 58
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/17/2011 9:35:48 PM


Posted By: 4forumsonly on 9/25/2011 1115 PM
Subject: Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Message: .... I simply stated that when I know I am N O T interested in a man, I insist on paying for my share.

If she really wants to be a strong self-responsible person who can make decisions and deal with men as her equal, then she will sometimes pay not just "her share" but the entire bill. Paying only your own half is tacky and cheap. When she is out with a man, what does she think of a man who offers to pay only "his share"?


.
 robin-hood
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 59
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History
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/18/2011 4:51:29 PM
I was once told that a women knows in the 1st 5 minutes whether its all the way or not. 1st get together is really not a date, just an encounter. If men want to pay the tap for this then do so.

If a man makes arrangements for a costly 1st encounter then its on him. If he cant really afford it then as Clint said "A man got to know his limitations."
 meksikali
Joined: 9/16/2011
Msg: 60
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/25/2011 1:54:09 PM
coffee dates doesn't usually work because girls don't like cheap dates.
you have to pay because you invited her. accepting a dinner offer doesn't make anybody a golddigger.
 SFGIANTSFAN_IN_SOCAL
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 61
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/25/2011 8:01:53 PM
I prefer coffee dates for a first meet. It gives me a chance to see if I want to go on a "real" date. And, I can usually fit them in on the way to work or on my lunch hour.

A coffee date need not last hours and that's the beauty of it. You go, you meet someone, chat for 30 minutes, and at the end of it you either say, "I'm interested in going out again" or "I wish you the best of luck in your search".
 meksikali
Joined: 9/16/2011
Msg: 62
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/25/2011 10:24:19 PM
I think that's why you say "I wish you the best of luck in your search" every single time. how impressive a 711 coffee date can be. I don't think anybody will argue about the importance of the first impression
 SFGIANTSFAN_IN_SOCAL
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 63
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/26/2011 7:17:16 AM
Steve,

I think meksikali was trying to insult me in his post, but I'm not sure because it didn't make much sense. He was, however, referring to my profile, I believe where I said I liked 7-11 coffee. I am not much of a coffee drinker. If I meet someone at a coffee house I will have a Chai Latte. I do like 711 coffee because I like the Hazelnut cream they have and that's the only way I'll drink my coffee. I would never actually meet someone there for a date, although that would be novel.

:)
 meksikali
Joined: 9/16/2011
Msg: 64
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/26/2011 10:15:53 AM
oh! please I wasn't trying to insult anybody. I was just kidding, you can take jokes right?
Steve has a point too. some of us have to work harder than the others. and some girls require more work than the others. everybody is different, happy coffee dates to you guys.
 donnieworld
Joined: 7/11/2009
Msg: 65
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/28/2011 10:57:36 AM
I'm always going to insist on paying. A gentleman pays for the first few dates, without exception. It is just the way it is and it comes without any expectations.

If its only one date and you don't really click, oh well.
 tinskmom
Joined: 2/11/2011
Msg: 67
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/6/2011 10:39:31 PM
I had a date tell me he only pays when he knows a girl will put out............so now I'm offering to pay my share and no one has taken me up on it.

Went out with a guy a couple times he paid for dinner the first time..the next time he was a little short on cash, I wasn't, so I paid it was perfect.
 cyt323
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 68
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/7/2011 2:47:44 PM
I don't want to be trapped at a dinner table with someone whose unpleasant! I love paying for myself because a lot of guys act like I owe them something for 1 cheap ass happy hour drink. I'll only let a guy pay if I'm interested. You can only pay my way If I'm willing to reciprocate.

go dutch and owe nothing. However I will say, if it's not discussed beforehand, on a meaningful date, it leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Thankfully we humans have discernment. If you want to "score" eventually, being a miser will sure help

Men and woman know how each other are programmed and we still bytch...
 seveneyes333
Joined: 6/20/2010
Msg: 69
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/8/2011 1:13:11 AM
I dont mind paying for things on dates. I kinda like it, makes me feel like a provider, like I am all muscley and stuff...
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 70
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/9/2011 1:27:25 AM
i dont think the guy "should" or shouldnt pay for the first meet.
however i never went on a first meet where the guy didnt insist on paying for the coffee or a light lunch. i offered to pay my half if it seemed right to do. but i find that men want to pay.
its been that way for years and years and i think its just part of how society is.
i am not a gold digger or a snob....just a bit old fashioned and the men i date like it that way.
 cocopark
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 71
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History
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/9/2011 4:11:55 AM
If a guy wants me to pay my share, he can tell me before the dinner, and I won't date him. Why shall I go out with a strange guy? I prefer having dinner with my girlfriends. If a guy has no money to pay a meal, or willing to do that, I don't want to waste any time on him. I can pay bills if I have relationship with a guy, but not the first few dates. I don't even think it could be a question, because all men who dated me paid bills, no exception.
 cocopark
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 72
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Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/9/2011 7:07:20 PM
just don't wanna go out with a mean guy. If I invites a guy to dinner I will pay the bill, not going dutch. It's not about money, it's the person. A dinner is nothing expensive. Can't imagine a guy who cares for a dinner money is worthy of dating.
 cocopark
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 73
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Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/9/2011 8:32:44 PM
At the first meeting, since we don't know much about each other, we'll meet to see if the guy is your type. If he is mean and don't wanna spend money on woman, he is definitely not my type. Don't even bother to see him for the first time. On the other hand, if we are into a man, we'd like to spend money on him too. In a word, the first date is a time of considering (if go on). Besides, when a guy invites a girl but still want to share bills, that sucks. A girl inviting a guy pay his bill is reasonable.
 fra59e
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 74
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/9/2011 8:37:57 PM
Donnie says:
"I'm always going to insist on paying. A gentleman pays for the first few dates, without exception. It is just the way it is and it comes without any expectations."

Hmm. I'm going to alert my acquaintances who sell insurance and stuff to this guy. He looks like a pushover, eager to empty his wallet, perhaps unaware that this habit leads to people quietly despising him. And his attitude marks him as bait for golddiggers.
.
.
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 75
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/9/2011 9:13:48 PM
i never go out with someone because i am bored with nothing better to do.
i would rather go out with my girlfreinds or stay home with my daughters and dog if i was not interested in meeting the man.
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