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Show ALL Forums  > California  > Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?      Home login  
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 minethegold
Joined: 7/14/2011
Msg: 76
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?Page 4 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
if you invite her on a date.. you pay.. simple as that :-)
 seveneyes333
Joined: 6/20/2010
Msg: 77
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/10/2011 12:29:23 AM
Yeah, we aint no back up plan. Trifling women I swear! You got your girls and your steely dan, come see us if you want the real deal! Just dont be trying to change us! Kiss these guns baby! lol

btw, anyone see the notebook? It was sooo sad!
 Jammin Jungle Jim
Joined: 9/24/2009
Msg: 78
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/11/2011 10:42:46 AM
I'm up front. I tell a woman right in our initial conversations, "If you are looking for someone to wine and dine you, that's not me". If a woman thinks she is a queen or princess, I avoid her. I need a commoner like myself. Today, women are competing with men for the same jobs, at the same pay. This isn't the 1950's where women stayed home. A lot of women want to, "experience the finer things in life" and have men pick up the check. A lot of men just want free free sex, when they should be seeking prostitutes. These two types of people deserve each other.

I have known two women who admit to dating me and ordering far more food than they would ever eat. Then they take the excess food home to feed their families. All on the men's dime. Their attitude was, "if he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to date me". I also knew one women who went out with over 1,000 different men in just over a year. She was a happy camper. She was being treated to very nice meals all over town and being treated wonderfully by some decent men. To bad she was just out for a good time on the men's tab. She had no intention of having a relationship with any of the men she dated. That woman was the type I wouldn't take to a dog fight, event if she was favored to win.
 KAKI3152
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 79
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History
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/11/2011 12:08:17 PM
One of the best first dates (well, actually it was my second) was a picnic. I picked out a nice lunch, a good bottle of wine (not overly expensive) and selected a great beach locale. That and a small hand written poem made it a great date. It was about $20-25

Having said that, I've gone out on dates with women who expected me to pick up the tab for everything they thought they could away with. There usually wasn't a second date as I found these women to be infatuated with themselves, egostical, rude and not as attractive as they thought they were. Bad manners will detract from a woman's beauty as much as any physical flaw. In these cases, I paid, smiled and said I would call soon....
 queenell05
Joined: 11/21/2008
Msg: 80
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/12/2011 2:36:39 PM
I will straight up say, that I do expect the man to pay on the first date. However, that doesn't mean I expect it EVERY. TIME. And that also doesn't mean I expect you to foot the bill for the entire date. He pays for dinner, I pay for the movie. Make sense? I think for me personally, it's more about the gesture of it being done then the actual dollar amount spent. When you ask someone out on a date, it would sound totally ridiculous to me if a guy said, "Would you like to go out to dinner, but you should pay half..."
 donnieworld
Joined: 7/11/2009
Msg: 81
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/15/2011 1:14:35 PM

Donnie says:
"I'm always going to insist on paying. A gentleman pays for the first few dates, without exception. It is just the way it is and it comes without any expectations."

Hmm. I'm going to alert my acquaintances who sell insurance and stuff to this guy. He looks like a pushover, eager to empty his wallet, perhaps unaware that this habit leads to people quietly despising him. And his attitude marks him as bait for golddiggers.


Dating is not like buying insurance :o/
 Slanderous_E
Joined: 1/7/2010
Msg: 82
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/15/2011 2:09:50 PM
I agree, typically on a meet and greet situation it should be something casual and inexpensive in case there's no cehmistry there's not a lot invested. But there are some women who want dinner and the whole ball of wax on a first date, and when the bill comes they don't even flinch and the guy gets stuck, I don't mind paying but if you know you're not attracted to the guy it would be nice to pay your share that way the guy's not left with a $60-$80 dollar bill. I absolutely appreciate when the woman offers to pay half and as a gentleman that I am I pay for the bill; the simple fact that a woman will offer to pay scores brownie points in my book, so even though there may not be any chemistry women should at least make a gesture or offer to pay on a meet and greet because it's not fair for the guy even if he's a schlub to be stuck if you're not attracted to him. And women, it's a meet and greet not a engagement dinner date, although some men want to do the whole dinner thing, but even then you should be conscientious and fair. If it's a second date and there's mutual attraction then of course the guy pays, but the sense of entitlement has to go, so ladies! It's not a matter of money, it's a matter of principle and ettiquette... Those are my 2 cents :-)
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 83
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/15/2011 3:40:51 PM
Solution:

Denny's $2 menu.

 HWDee
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 84
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/15/2011 10:27:48 PM
As a rule of thumb, my first meet and greet is always between meals. We order a coffee or tea or ice cream or just bring our own water to get a vibe off the other and see if what we were feeling via email and phone, translates to real-life. This does two things: One, no strain, no pain, no expectations of many hours with another person that you arent finding chemistry. He doesnt feel he is being used as a meal ticket and she doesnt feel she OWES him anything. And two, if all goes well, you can move into an intimate meal to continue the good feelings.
 SoBayNative
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 85
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/16/2011 3:30:37 PM

some women who want dinner and the whole ball of wax on a first date, and when the bill comes they don't even flinch and the guy gets stuck, I don't mind paying but if you know you're not attracted to the guy it would be nice to pay your share that way the guy's not left with a $60-$80 dollar bill.

I don't think any of my husbands ever even spent $80. on dinner for me. Where are these expensive mythical daters?
 sharksfan83
Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 86
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/18/2011 1:52:36 AM
OP, sent me a private message. I want to show you something that will help you out with this dilemma.
 sharksfan83
Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 87
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/18/2011 1:58:58 AM
Guys should NEVER pay the full amount on the first date. Women are equal and perfectly capable of paying for themselves. If you want to pay fine, but don't be taking a woman you just met to some expensive restaurant. Go someplace cheap. If she complains that dinner isn't "expensive enough," she's a spoiled gold digging whore, and you should dump that **** IMMEDIATELY. Oh, and NEVER spend more than $40 on a date. If you take a woman out, and she orders the most expensive thing on the menu, get up and leave because that is not acceptable behavior AT ALL. Too many of you guys are pussies. Why do you tolerate that crap? Also, if a woman ever tries to guilt trip you by calling you cheap because you won't pay for her, just tell her, "the person who is cheap is the person who won't pay their share, and that's YOU."
 sharksfan83
Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 88
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/18/2011 2:34:50 AM
EDIT: OP, *SEND* me a private message. I want to show you something that will help you with your dilemma.
 sharksfan83
Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 89
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/18/2011 3:00:48 AM
If a man pays for the first date, then the woman should cook him a hot meal afterwards. On top of that, she should do his laundry, fold his socks, and iron his shirts. If we are going to stick with traditional gender roles for men (paying for the first date) lets stick with traditional gender roles for women, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and ironing shirts. Foreign women understand this and this is why so many men prefer them over American women who just want to take take take, but rarely have anything to offer in return other than sex.
 Denegotiator
Joined: 10/13/2011
Msg: 90
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/18/2011 6:33:03 AM
It sets the tone of the relationship. If I offer to pay my way it will then be assumed I will always pay my way. I think it lets the man set the course and be a man (the provider, has to do with the male ego ID and his sexuality performance). I like the if you are not interested then pay your own way. But then the rejection could be an issue, or back fire and thinks " wow this is cool she pays her own way I am into that"! But then again maybe they won't get it? I pay equals Bye Bye Bye!
 SoBayNative
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 91
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/18/2011 9:05:40 PM
The person who most wants to get laid should pay.
 frijolera_ninja
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 92
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/19/2011 6:40:47 PM
I think the initial meeting is just that and should be casual. Coffee/ tea/ hooka whatever your into. Go dutch and if moneys an issue go for a walk at the beach / lake / park... then discuss what to do about a 1st date.

 frijolera_ninja
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 93
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/20/2011 11:06:32 AM
I think it is expecting too much to expect a man to pay each and every time. Not just because the economy but just seems kinda self centered to just expect it. We all work and want equal opportunity in every other aspects of life so figure dating is next in that as well.

I dont think its fair to use your "lady parts " as artillary either. You use it like some kind of power over them? Puttin out really? You make it sound like a chore.

Lighten up and enjoy these guys that want to spend time with you. Hopefully you wont have to go through too many til you find the one you want to" put out" with.

Stay safe
 robin-hood
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 94
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History
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/20/2011 12:49:13 PM
frijolera_ninja,

I'll 2nd that emotion !
 Truly_Me
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 95
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/20/2011 6:50:57 PM
sharksfan83,

You are right on the money. The thing most people don't seem to get is that gender equality isn't just about women getting more in life or men giving up their old privileges; it's about us all growing up and being responsible for ourselves.

The sad thing is that we even have this kind of nonsense to respond to still.

 SHARPIE123
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 96
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/23/2011 6:18:14 PM
GO FOR COFFEE on the first meet. Seriously, a lot of women use online dating as a means to eat every night... sorry ladies, telling it like it is.

On the flip side, I went out with a guy and offered to pay half and he insisted he get it. I wish I'd thrown some cash on the table because he turned out to be a bugaboo! Wanted to be in a relationship after that one date.. hello...no. Some men think you owe them if they pay.

But again, nope- don't do dinner on a first date/meet. If they don't want to do something simple and insist on an expensive dinner that's a RED FLAG.
 fra59e
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 97
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:55:13 PM
Using your money to benefit another person is a way of claiming superiority. That's why the squire used to give a Christmas basket to each of the peasants. It is also why the habit of tipping persists. When you treat somebody as your equal you do not tip them. That's why you tip a taxi driver but you don't tip an airline flight attendant. You tip the pizza delivery boy but you don't tip your doctor.

In social relationships, when one party insists on paying every time that means he is claiming to be higher than you and he is treating you like a servant, not as his equal. If you have any self-respect you will not submit to being treated as his servant.

Paying half is silly; offer to pay the whole bill or not at all. And if he pays the full bill this time make sure you pay the full bill next time. The tactful way to do this is to catch the waiter when your date is not listening and tell the waiter that the bill is to come to you or better still just quietly hand the waiter your credit card in advance. Taking turns, not splitting the bill, is what grownups do. "Going dutch" is teenage behavior.
 fra59e
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 98
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:59:01 PM
mmagnet says:

"Guess I just won't accept getting slapped on the butt as a typical or acceptable substitute for romance or 'foreplay'. Nor getting groped by some dude who's ultimate goal is to find a LTR so he can move in within 6 months? That's just friggin' scary and very disrespectful to me personally and as a woman. It may be an acceptable precursor to sex / relationships for you ? But not for me."

Really, mmagnet, you have just got to quit dating TSA agents.
 facess
Joined: 11/17/2011
Msg: 99
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/23/2011 9:32:03 PM
Coffee or brunch should ALWAYS the 1st. date,it's quick and painless on his wallet, if there's a 2nd date, it's dinner and I pick the place and get a gift certificate in advance 4 $25, allow him to pay for the meal and I present the $25 tip !...J
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 100
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/24/2011 10:23:26 PM
Off topic

What does the acronym TSA mean to you ? Just curious?


Transportation Security Administration
Airport Security screeners.

On topic...

I had a great date. Under normal circumstances I keep the first couple dates a small production. However since it was thanksgiving we were both somewhat recent transplants to CA, had no family in the area and were not getting back home due to work I went a bit upscale on dinner. I was prepared to pay the whole bill and as I was opening my wallet she asked if it was ok if we split it. I said you don't have to pay half but if it makes you happy it is not a problem.
Show ALL Forums  > California  > Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?