Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
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Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 11
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Relationship vibe vs. Hook up vibePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
The same thing happened to me, I posted on Ask a guy, unaware of the 21 reply limit. Don't get why some people are so anal about reposting questions...
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 12
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Relationship vibe vs. Hook up vibe
Posted: 10/3/2011 7:15:18 PM
trying to synthesize a 'vibe' is the wrong approach to what you're doing. you won't be able to generate some force field that causes undesirable men to bow out of your search. what you WILL be able to do is learn what undesirable behavior or demeanor looks like, and filter out those guys yourself. but you still won't be able to get others to do this work for you.

one aspect of the work is 'trying on' people until you find one who fits you. not everyone sees this as drudgery to be undertaken en route to the prize. the other kind of work, which is much less direct, is the internal process in which you increase your knowledge of men and dealing with them by increasing your knowledge of yourself and life and everything - aka the acquisition of wisdom.

i invite you to consider the idea of being in control of your emotions. i think this is the primary place where women who crave the 'relationship' get themselves in trouble, because they bang some guy and fall in love with him in a few months before knowing whether he wants the same things. they're emotionally impatient and do not allow for the slowness of the process, where keeping the emotions in check allows for greater discernment as people unfold, and less heartache if a dealbreaker issue comes up.
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