Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Porn websites      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 iceteawaltz
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 26
Porn websitesPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
To answer your original question: No, I would not stop seeing a woman if I found out she belonged to a porn site. I might like to join it myself. And by the way, MissSharon, could you reveal which site you are talking about? It might make a difference in the responses.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 27
view profile
History
websites
Posted: 9/29/2011 9:53:49 AM
personally I would find it hot, really hot
I think you (op) have a hel l of a lot of confidence,...... that is a good thing
I am sure there are thousands of men out there that would take you as you are ,and appreciate the fact that you are a wonderful person, ual, and confident
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 28
websites
Posted: 9/29/2011 11:31:07 AM
I don't know. I would have to be convinced by having ME operating the camera.

 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Porn websites
Posted: 9/29/2011 2:05:58 PM
The way I relate to this comes down to two considerations:

1. Does your involvement on that site constitute an allegiance or commitment to people OUTSIDE our relationship, such that you would choose them over me at some point? That is the main reason I want nothing to do with multiple-partner relationships. I want someone who SAYS they are committed to me, to BE committed to me.

2. Your involvement there WILL reflect on me professionally, whether you and I want it to or not. These days, employers include Facebook, and all manner of other online sites as part of how they choose to keep or release employees, or hire outside contractors. Your involvement there could very well impact your partner's financials. It's not just a danger to famous people anymore.

As for worrying that my friends might see you nekkid, I don't give a crap. If we went to a beach together and you took your top off, or we went to a nude beach, other friends would "see" you.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 30
Porn websites
Posted: 9/29/2011 2:32:17 PM

Question Kaylie. It seems you were put off by what a guy was into and it was a deal breaker but you just said Too bad so sad for him about what he wasn't into. Well it does work both ways. He was not into what you were into and you should respect that just as you were not into what he was into without the too bad so sad, etc...Just saying.


Agreed.

Op, I feel that you are also making a similar statement; however, if participating in a porn site is more important than a great potential relationship inclusive of the level and quality of sex you seek, it's your option. I'm sharing that if there's a great guy out there and all else is a good match but this, you might be losing a good match.

You also stated that you use it as an outlet for that pent up sexual tension when you don't have a partner, but then you allude to saying that you now want a partner and the site.
That one statement leads me to believe that it's become an addiction that you can't or won't give up no matter what. Not that you should- js

Personally, I would never submit nude pics to any website. Not only will his friends have the potential to view you, who knows what the people on the site are doing with your pics.

I would like to know up front. Why hide something with the potential for a make it or break it situation, and it is, or you wouldn't be on here posing the question.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 31
Porn websites
Posted: 9/29/2011 2:36:49 PM

1. Does your involvement on that site constitute an allegiance or commitment to people OUTSIDE our relationship, such that you would choose them over me at some point? That is the main reason I want nothing to do with multiple-partner relationships. I want someone who SAYS they are committed to me, to BE committed to me.

2. Your involvement there WILL reflect on me professionally, whether you and I want it to or not. These days, employers include Facebook, and all manner of other online sites as part of how they choose to keep or release employees, or hire outside contractors. Your involvement there could very well impact your partner's financials. It's not just a danger to famous people anymore.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 32
Porn websites
Posted: 9/29/2011 2:43:48 PM

1. Does your involvement on that site constitute an allegiance or commitment to people OUTSIDE our relationship, such that you would choose them over me at some point?


This is a good question. It's the same question you might ask if you're dating a celebrity or a public figure. Those people are expected and requested to show a certain face to their admirers and also demand a certain frequency of appearances.

If your "celebrity" is crucial to your lifestyle (or indeed PAYS for it), your partner needs to understand that public demands are going to trump his/her demands sometimes, perhaps on an annoyingly regular basis, like every weekend.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 33
Porn websites
Posted: 9/29/2011 4:18:16 PM
Sharon - I totally get what you are saying about the openess you feel on those sites vs. POF.

I myself was on a site and actually met many of the people at events. I still know many of them - some are still single and in the scene and a few are even married now!

Based on my experience there, I wouldn't think badly of a man who was on the site either. I too prefer to be up front sooner than later and I too prefer not to be with a partner who is too vanilla. Open is key for me.

Most folks think they are open, but when some found out about my participation, it wasn't really their "thing".


f I found out she belonged to a porn site. I might like to join it myself.


That's what one guy did and we had a great time!
 MissSharon0905
Joined: 8/3/2011
Msg: 34
Porn websites
Posted: 9/29/2011 4:54:41 PM
Wow there's a lot to reply to here and I'm not sure where to start.
First of all, I do appreciate every one taking the time to reply. So thank you for that.

I think at this point, because I am still involved in the site I do need to let him know. I don't think he'll be overly shocked and upset by it. It seems like a fairly open person. Probably not open enough to participate, only out of shyness.

Whether or not I'll continue on the site is yet to be determined. I have not started a sexual relationship with this man, so it's very possible that at the point that begins, I may no longer even have a need for the site.

As far as it ruining his work life, I know our situation and I'm fairly certain it won't be an issue. I can't speak for any person I may date later in life but as of right now with this man in particular, it's not an issue.

For the record, the pictures are only of me, I haven't posed for pictures with another person, and the site really isn't what I get the impression some of you are thinking it is. It's not as if I'm a professional porn star. The site I belong to is pretty much just like facebook, but every one is naked lol. We're a community of regular people who all submit pictures and videos for every one on the site to enjoy.

To the person who was concerned about me having an allegiance to the website over my partner, obviously I would not. How ever I think I'm more open minded about relationships than you appear to be. You have a very narrow view of what is and isn't allowed in your romantic relationship, and that is great because it works for you. But I can't thrive in such a confined space. Not saying that I need to go out and sleep with or even date other guys, but a little freedom is nice. If I were carrying on personal relationships with members of the site I could see where it would be a problem, but I've always just maintained friendships with the men there and nothing more.

As far as it being an "addiction" to me. I would say, it's no more so than the many members of this forum who have become involved in relationships, some even married since starting POF, but still stick around because of the friendships they've made here.

And finally, happybunny
"Most folks think they are open, but when some found out about my participation, it wasn't really their "thing"."
I could not agree more with you on that. I even have to admit sometimes that I'm not as open as I'd like to think I am when I see something that is just so wild I can't believe it lol. But I think the average person is far more closed minded than they'd like to think or admit that they are.
 MissSharon0905
Joined: 8/3/2011
Msg: 35
Porn websites
Posted: 9/29/2011 4:55:34 PM
P.S.
Sorry for typos I'm writing in a rush
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Porn websites
Posted: 9/29/2011 8:50:23 PM
While all this seems like fun and games for now.... consider this.... EVERYTHING on the internet is viewable publically.... any site can be cracked with ease.... your pictures will exist FOREVER...

Think about any future employer, relative, your eventual children, neighbors, churches you attend, civic groups viewing this material when you are ready for a real life.... It will shame and haunt you, your children, your spouse, your anything you are connected to forever....

Think of it this way.... what if your respected family member {mother, gmother, aunt,father, uncle, etc} sent to you a picture of them nude 20+ years ago..... would you place it in your living room of photos so your children, friends, neighbors, mailman could all admire her/him??????
 MissSharon0905
Joined: 8/3/2011
Msg: 37
Porn websites
Posted: 9/29/2011 9:06:33 PM
While I'm not advertising being on the site, I am by no means ashamed of it. I'm rather proud of my body, and I've contemplated going to have professional nude pictures done so 30 years from now I can look back and know at one point, I had it lol ;)
I was raised in a family that is very comfortable withe nudity and the human body. My mom is such a hippie it would drive you nuts. No one in my family thinks nudity is anything shameful at all.
I should also say that even though I do have a few nude pictures, most of my pictures are merely suggestive, implied nudity, lingerie... things along those lines. And I actually do have a picture of my grandmother, pin up style from the 1940's and she was kind of a pretty hot bombshell. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed by her at all.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Porn websites
Posted: 9/29/2011 9:16:51 PM
I only know that I couldn't do it and feel at ease and I wouldn't think any prospective dating partner would care for it either. I think they would think I was an easy sexual target. But? Then again? I am not your age Miss Sharon and things could very well be different in your age bracket...cept? If they were, why would you be asking? I don't think what you do online is wrong by any means but if you yourself question telling this fellow? Hmm...
P.S. I am glad you were raised in a family were nudity wasnt' a taboo. After all, isn't that the way we came into this world?
 cin____dy
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 39
Porn websites
Posted: 9/29/2011 10:53:37 PM
I wonder this-you say you wouldn't stop seeing her but would you marry her, have children and think is is all cool? What if she marries a politician or a judge, or someone that this would cause problems? Some might say yes, but the vast majority will say no. There is still double standards, it hasn't changed.
I have seen many young women think it is fine to strip, do porn, and show their naked pics online. But later in life they find it to be something in life that can ruin her chances for something she desires to do . A picture online becomes a permanent thing. We change-- life changes, our goals can change, but many a naked picture has ruined a woman's chance in the business world.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 40
Porn websites
Posted: 9/29/2011 11:47:18 PM

A picture online becomes a permanent thing.

Lots of things are permanent things. You can't go through life being afraid to do something because of lots of what ifs. So many people post those kinds of photos now that soon, it'll be no big deal. Back when I was in graduate school, I asked m advisor if I'd have difficulty getting a security clearance because I'd done druugs when I was younger. He told me that at my age, they'd be a lot more suspicious if I told them I hadn't. Things that were once big deals become normal after so many people do it. Fast forward to this generation instead of judging things by the norm 25 years ago.

We change-- life changes, our goals can change, but many a naked picture has ruined a woman's chance in the business world.

How many examples do you have?
 Tryns
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 41
Porn websites
Posted: 9/30/2011 12:09:51 PM

How many examples do you have?


Yeah I'm gonna have to go ahead and agree with the sentiment here.

Heck I think there are probably more situations where naked pictures/video helped a woman's career than hurt it. Granted most of those were Hollywood actresses but still. I don't think there is as much of a stigma attached to nude pictures as their used to be.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 42
Porn websites
Posted: 9/30/2011 7:40:56 PM
Ya know I'd find it just fine if she was upfront and honest about it. I think I would be more upset if she tried to deny it or lie about it. I mean I'd be freaked out of something like that came out on the 1st date or something. If we felt it was time to trust someone with a secret I wouldn't mind. 2nd life is alright it might freak me out if it was her 1st life....
 Bobby1068
Joined: 6/22/2010
Msg: 43
Porn websites
Posted: 9/30/2011 8:19:17 PM
I don't think its a bomb at all. If you like than your ideal man will also like...
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Porn websites
Posted: 10/1/2011 4:50:00 AM
It does sound as though in this particular case that there's no problem. That's great.

I wouldn't have a problem with the lifestyle as described either, however some people do, and some of those people are involved with setting standards, such as are used in giving security clearances to people. That would be MY only personal fear, as I'm not significant enough for a employer to get huffy about my wife/mate otherwise.

Things have changed over the years as regards security clearances. Way back when my Dad was trying to get his, he learned the hard way that just having a beard was enough to keep him from being approved. That sort of nonsense is done with, but I don't know about this.

So as long as there's no concern about security clearances, and the relationship is both equally open, and neither person places higher importance on someone or something outside of the relationship than on the relationship itself, then all is well.
 2wheeleddreamer
Joined: 6/7/2011
Msg: 45
Porn websites
Posted: 10/1/2011 8:11:23 AM
In order for me to properly answer this question I will need the address to your site so I can evaluate the situation and come up with the appropriate formula for your canundrum feel free to email me with the address ricky
 nkr1980
Joined: 9/2/2011
Msg: 46
Porn websites
Posted: 10/1/2011 8:32:38 AM
I watch porn and I have joined a few sites, uploaded videos (not of me) and regularly visit. Nothing wrong with watching porn or being part of an adult site. Expressing sexuality is one way to learn more about yourself and your partner. I would be turned on if the girl I was seeing was into adult sites. That way, we share our fantasies through videos and not have an awkward situation :)

Normally the innocent looking ones are the real dirty ones in bed ;)...always on the lookout for those. They are a lot of fun.
 tombush
Joined: 9/28/2011
Msg: 47
view profile
History
YES
Posted: 10/1/2011 10:10:54 AM
I AM ON YOUR SIDE
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 48
YES
Posted: 10/1/2011 12:14:46 PM

when someone you love puts those kind of photos on a website when you thought that she had taken them for your eyes only


That's clearly NOT the case here!
 Allforoneofu
Joined: 9/15/2011
Msg: 49
Porn websites
Posted: 10/1/2011 1:16:07 PM
I definetly agree with you ! I would love it if the Woman I was with enjoyed it as much as I did. Then I would not have to hide it from her .I love sex with her more ,But the act of seeing others intimate in the privacy of my own room and ladies masteurbating is such a turn on to me It would be nice to have a woman who feels the same.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 50
view profile
History
Porn websites
Posted: 10/2/2011 9:07:57 AM
Abe .... always sooo respect your wisdom but you asked


We change-- life changes, our goals can change, but many a naked picture has ruined a woman's chance in the business world.

How many examples do you have?


Several Miss Americas come to mind.... When women in the public eye vamp out the pattern is often destructive.... but not always.... even Madonna has toned it down now that she has a child to consider
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Porn websites