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 ModernTLC
Joined: 10/2/2011
Msg: 41
disrespectful or not?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I can understand wanting to meet in a public place....but the rest of what happened....I am with you....what the hell???
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 42
disrespectful or not?
Posted: 10/27/2011 4:19:21 PM
"If you want a higher quality woman, you may have to consider what self-improvements you can do"

Hahahahaha!!! See OP, you have to consider what self-improvements you can do!

Sometimes I think this place should be named plenty of fruit loops! I mean god forbid you should be yourself, no that's not good enough! You gotta be aces here, to get a "quality woman"!

Last week there was a thread on here where a woman went off on the usual rant "all men are only looking for sex"! Then proceeded to list the things wrong with men and the usual expletives.

Before I replied, I checked her profile. Aside from the headline "I'm ready to fall madly in bed with you" were some racy quotes, 5 pics including 2 in skimpy bathing suits, one belly dancing and the topper, one with her picture with SEXY scrawled across it in big letters!

Now color me stupid or is that advertising sumtin? Then why would you wonder about what the guys writing you want?

Yeah...nothing but quality!
 kcladyz
Joined: 8/7/2009
Msg: 43
disrespectful or not?
Posted: 10/29/2011 8:10:21 AM
That happened to me but worse. There was a friend I had a major crush on and when he asked me to double date with a friend of his I was beyond thrilled!!!! It would have been the best date ever outside the fact he not only ignored me for the entire date but he pared himself off with the other guys girl so I was forced to pair off with this other guy I don't know. The whole night was awkward and as soon as i got home i cried my eyes out. Apparently someone had a little talk with him on my behalf about his behavior for from that point on he ignored me as if we never knew each other. i was crushed.
 Ratsrule
Joined: 9/22/2011
Msg: 44
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disrespectful or not?
Posted: 10/30/2011 8:27:35 AM
OP, as others have said she was being careful by meeting you somewhere public, and you should be aware of that for the future and NOT suggest that women meet you at their house, or that you pick them up from theirs on a first date. It's always awkward to have to explain to a guy that you don't know him enough to trust him in a situation like that and I for one really appreciate men that understand that and work on the assumption that it will be a public meeting place.

Re the texting - yes on the whole it's rude.. unless there is some valid and important reason that you need to be in contact with someone (medical issues, children to worry about, friend meltdown etc). In that situation i wouldn't want to cancel a date but i would need them to be understanding if an execptional circumstance meant needing to be in touch, it didn't sound like that was the case though so yea- bad manners

<div class="quote">why should men always have to be the initiator of conversation...u have brains too use them...i personally find it really attractive when a girl asks me out...doesnt happen often...more girls need to be likes this...why should men always have to the chasing???.

Because despite how you might insist you like a woman to chase - you (meaning men in general) DON'T! I know this because i have asked out at least as many guys as have asked me out- id rather just get on and ask someone out than fanny around waiting to see if they get the courage to talk to me. Anyway point is, every single guy that I have made the moves/contact/done the initiating for has never quite managed to get over the fact that I chased, and has not appreciated me because of it.

I'm not talking "he treats me bad and makes no effort *sob* he doesn't appreciate me" i'm talking about being openly told that because I did the chasing they didn't value me/the relationship. this usually being the reason they've broken up with me.

quite literally i will never again make an obvious chasing move on a man that I like and really want to get to know, because I am absolutely sure (based on past experiences) that if I do it will ruin any chance of decent progression.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 45
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disrespectful or not?
Posted: 10/30/2011 9:24:47 AM
Thats kind of counterintuitive though isnt it?

"Women" do seem to bang on a hell of a lot about how theyre the more intuitive, emotionally intuitive of the genders, and yet seem incapable of "intuiting" even the most basic things from people theyre dating and instead do seem rather frequently to go with the "one man didnt like this, so I'm going to assume that no men do"

Although, it does tend to be far more common where its something that might actually take some effort or might have some element of risk like rejection involved

"Some" men will be put off by being "chased" but then again so are some women too, some arent, and ditto with women.

As far as I've always been concerned if you have to "chase" then youre trying to convince someone who doesnt really have any interest in you to "give you a chance", well gee, how special that must make people feel lol

If two people like each other, and niether is a wuss about letting that be known and niether is calculating or manipulative in nature then what you actually get is two people chasing each other pretty equally without any of the normal mindgames that tend to ensue which to be fair are a bit "playground" anyway
 christyis4real
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 46
disrespectful or not?
Posted: 10/30/2011 10:28:38 AM
If meeting a "bar girl" is not your thing, then stay away from that kind of woman. You should have left when she started acting like a skeezeball. Dates are ways of people getting to know one another ONE ON ONE. She obviously is a "playa". Just keep on truckin!
 sportsnerd11
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 47
disrespectful or not?
Posted: 10/30/2011 3:15:11 PM
to be honest, i had to read your message about 3 times before I started to understand exactly what you were saying... i agree with most in this forum, i do think you bring it out in yourself... you are who you attact as they saying goes.

as soon as her hand starts typing on the phone the alert flag is turned on... the 2nd time she does i ask her is this really a good time because we can meet again at a later time and nod in the direction of phone, and the 3rd time she does it i leave. In fact to make a statement I drop $40 on the table as my part of the bill for the beers.

your generalization of all women will keep you single for a long time. every person is different and everyone has faults including yourself... accept people for what they are and stay focussed on the one you want to meet and you will be a happier person for it.
 Ratsrule
Joined: 9/22/2011
Msg: 48
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disrespectful or not?
Posted: 11/10/2011 5:39:45 AM

Thats kind of counterintuitive though isnt it?

"Women" do seem to bang on a hell of a lot about how theyre the more intuitive, emotionally intuitive of the genders, and yet seem incapable of "intuiting" even the most basic things from people theyre dating and instead do seem rather frequently to go with the "one man didnt like this, so I'm going to assume that no men do"


I gues you could sy it's counter intuitive and small minded if it were a case of - one time someone didn't like this so i won't do it. But like I said I'm not a shy person and I've done my fair share of asking out. I don't mean I'll make zero effort and expect the guy to do all the work - i'll smile, flirt and give off the usual interested signals. Respond to messages, answer the phone and be honest about having a good time and enjoying their company.

But for every single time where i've been the one walking over and inviting them out for a drink or whatever, it's ultimately turned out that they just weren't that fussed about me and in some cases have literally told me "well I didn't feel like I had to work for you so I'm not that into you". Whether thats because they wouldn't have bothered to ask me out if I hadn't done it for them, or because I was the one that initiated doesn't make any difference to me. So far it's been a losing formula.

Bit silly not to learn from one's mistakes surely?
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 49
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disrespectful or not?
Posted: 11/10/2011 6:28:27 PM
It sounds like you didn’t want to meet her at a bar in the first place. Why didn’t you ask her out for coffee like everyone else?

Yes , it was rude but it was equally rude of you to invite her to your place.
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