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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.      Home login  
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 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 26
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Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

Try to be friendly, nice, funny or kind on emails, big whoop, doesn't make any difference if your photo doesn't scream out to them "I'm good looking, you know it and want it". I can send perfectly nice emails, no mistakes etc and all it will take is one glance at my photos for them to start running.


Man Luke I swear.

Okay try this then. You could REALLY benefit from this experiment (it's against the rules).

Send out a ton of mean, offensive and boring messages. Before you do that change all your photos to be of some other guy... some "brad pitt' type you deem really good looking.

Seriously. Give this test a fair shot.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 27
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/8/2011 11:16:03 PM

funny, I talk quality and Sincerity,

I don't talk like some guy looking for sex.

yet that doesn't get me anywhere..

Try doing things to do them because it's how you are (or is it?), rather than to try and get something from it, and you'll have less frustration. If it's not how you are, then don't do it. Waste of yours and their time.
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 28
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Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/10/2011 4:20:51 PM

I don't think that any woman who is interested in you, OP, is really going to be all that great. You seem shallow, self-absorbed, and just rather dull to me. ...
Good luck, little guy!


Dang...kind of harsh...don't you think? Good thing he doesn't want to date YOU.

I didn't exactly research the OP, but his posts seem reasonably intelligent to me.

Good luck with your date.
 Orgulloso
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 29
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/10/2011 4:38:22 PM
As usual WomanIn Progress and Basiate are the voices of intelligence and reason.

Hmmm "Mustard" not so much. I hit the gym 4-5 times a week and am reasonably fit, I don't usually email a "hottie" unless there's something in her profile (age counts) that I find redeeming. Believe it or not there are plenty of fit and fabulous 40 and 50 somethings out there. That said my age limit begins at 38, so those gals that are not in my lane like TDH stated would never get approached.

I love comments like "not in your lane", WTF is our lane? I've emailed many average looking ladies and they've not responded. So is their "lane" skewed? Jeez.

G
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 30
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/10/2011 5:54:44 PM
Believe it or not there are plenty of fit and fabulous 40 and 50 somethings out there.


Then I am jealous of where you live. Fit and fabulous at any age is more the exception that the rule but then I guess it all depends on what your definition of fit or fabulous is. From my perspective most of us have learned to be ok with not flabby and attractive.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 31
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/10/2011 5:59:27 PM
Online.....
the best sex appeal......
starts in her head...
and not bluntly typed out in lame detail.

Best you can do is be charming in your own way...
and let the woman fall for you in spite of herself.
:-P

There are no surefire e-tricks to force that.

If you are just seeking sex, try Craigslist.
If you are looking for more than that in here,
then seduce her mind and her body will follow.

Attractive women(like most women) want sex with a guy
who interests them on many levels.
They don't think like us guys do in our "sex first and then see what follows" mindset.
That is the flaw in your approach.
 jmy2x
Joined: 1/4/2011
Msg: 32
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/10/2011 6:49:36 PM
There's no "right" way to talk to women on this site. It all depends on what you're looking for. If it's sex, then don't mess around and take things offline quickly if she responds well to your innuendo. If it's a relationship, then you need to show that you have some substance. The important thing is for the personality that comes across in your messages to be consistent with the image you present in your profile. Your profile makes it seem like you're just looking for sex, so the women who communicate with you most likely are looking for sex too. You'll just frustrate/bore them if you ramp up the innuendo and then back off suddenly and start talking about TV. If you're looking for something more than a one-night stand, you need to change your profile and change your approach.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 33
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Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/11/2011 12:45:40 AM

I didn't exactly research the OP, but his posts seem reasonably intelligent to me.

Maybe you should research him or date him.

OP:

Is it possible that men, when sending a first message, SHOULD stick to sex appeal?
What is your sex appeal, SweetLilGTP?


Could it be that women at this day and age prefer their average to good looking guys to just shut up, look good, and NOT try to be so friendly, insightful, or witty?

Could it be that you failed at being friendly, insightful, or witty? Why point fingers when you could be more self reflecting?


You see it on TV; that whole "take off your pants n shut up thing" I saw it on Two and a Half Men just recently!!

What are you saying? Use the TV show “Two and a Half Men” as a role model behavior? Maybe you need to get out more instead of watching stupid TV shows.


I'm not gay, and I dont think I'm Brad Pitt,or Depp or Clooney or whatever; but obviously something is up, because a tonne of guys who I see on here not getting replies arnt exactly Homer Simpson.

I would prefer a gay guy over you in a heart beat.
You’re lumping Brad Pitt, Depp or Clooney as gay because you’re bitter and whiney over no replies?
Wake up and smell the coffee, dude. No reply deal is not gender related.


So women; is it possible that we SHOULD stay mysterious and SHOULDstick with sex appeal over any other form of personality with our first fewmessages?

“Women” replies: Wow. What happened to you, dude? Don’t think you’re so special and unique. Many women don’t get any replies either. Being a jerk does not make you mysterious. You still have yet to explain your sex appeal.


I may be a frickin genius

Right, you're such a genios.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 34
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/11/2011 10:23:26 AM
I was trying to figure out what the OP meant by sex appeal, instead of talking, or getting to know the other person. So I have no idea what he means. If anything, this statement says what to me rings true:


then seduce her mind and her body will follow.


Awesome statement Stray Cat.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 35
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/11/2011 11:21:58 AM

I love comments like "not in your lane", WTF is our lane?

It's another word for "league".


I've emailed many average looking ladies and they've not responded. So is their "lane" skewed? Jeez.


No, but their lane might be the "no children lane", or the "college-degree lane", or any other myriad of criteria that you didn't meet. Contrary to what some people think, it's not all about looks.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 36
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/11/2011 5:08:22 PM


Good to see I have gals (um..and guys) who find me so interesting; they break down every sentence I write.




You still have yet to explain your sex appeal.


I'll pass. ;)

Thanks for the demand though.


You’re lumping Brad Pitt, Depp or Clooney as gay


I am?

lmao; thanks for your replies all.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 37
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Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/11/2011 11:35:15 PM
OP, you started a thread asking the ladies if you should stick with your sex appeal in your first message to women. People are going to ask what you consider your sex appeal to be. If you don’t want to explain why start a thread? What is the point?
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 38
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Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/12/2011 1:29:39 AM
^
He doesn't have a point.

He just wants to attack people because he is upset about his situation. Boo Hoo.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 39
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/12/2011 2:57:47 PM
Stray Cat:
seduce her mind and her body will follow.
Wise man.. as always :)
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 40
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Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/12/2011 4:06:54 PM
Man gets rejected (possibly blocked) by a woman he was pursuing. He flips out, can’t control his emotions, so he starts a passive aggressive thread, making a fool out of himself.

Thank God not everyone flips out like that when they don’t get what they want.
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 41
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/12/2011 4:26:00 PM
No, they don't really take these sites all that seriously. The free part of POF that folks most enjoy is tearing some hapless forum poster to shreds. Female posters tend to set the tone in this regard, and certain men follow their lead. The OP in this thread resisted more than usual, so he got an unusually thorough going over.

Experiment away......
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 42
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Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/12/2011 5:31:40 PM

The free part of POF that folks most enjoy is tearing some hapless forum poster to shreds.


Almost as good as sex.

 92sc
Joined: 10/5/2011
Msg: 43
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/12/2011 5:41:05 PM
"" actually have an Octoberfest date this weekend; she's smoking.""
.....pot??


I don't have a date,,,,,,but I have V twin that'll smoke tires on it's way there.....

 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 44
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/12/2011 5:47:31 PM
Here's a thought...

Everybody quit being anything other than THEMSELVES.
Hopefully everyone's mamma raised us to be kind to animals, considerate to our elders,to follow the golden rule and to not pee on the floor of the movie theater....
When someone is trying to act way out of their own character/personality-speaking for myself, anyway-it's like their soul is wearing clothes that don't fit-or are extremely uncomfortable.

Be yourself. Anything else is going to eventually bite you in the ass.
Cindy O
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 45
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/12/2011 6:50:41 PM

Is it possible that men, when sending a first message, SHOULD stick to sex appeal?

Sex appeal is different to everyone so I guess you need to stick to what YOU think is sex appeal.

NOT that I dont love Homer...but still; my point should be evident.

Ok, so it's Marge or Lisa you have an affinity for?

I dont mean plop pics of our ponies into your box, but do mean that we wont really dance or provide too much comfort and warmth for you either.... before we make shiver some.
I may be a frickin genius

Not sure what you mean about that....? But if this means anything than yeah, I play musical instruments and have a fireplace.....

just another way of saying Nice Guys Finish Last!
Non-aggressive guys maybe, but nice guys.....I dont know about that one.

Aggressive men do not understand the word "no" "whoa" or disrespects a woman's boundaries as a whole. A woman with an "A" type personality will definately not accept aggressive behavior. Just sayin'....
 twelfth_dimension
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 46
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/12/2011 6:51:34 PM
Sure, if they have any.
The problem with some guys is that they think they have it going on, but they don't.
The smart ones realize this and fall back on the "fun, thoughtful, friendly messages" in order to soften her up before she confronts the reality of his beer-bellied, double-chinned, receding hairline, slackjaw mediocrity.
When these men try to put on airs with the whole "sex appeal" charade, it kind of comes off like a baboon that tries to walk upright and use chopsticks.
It's good for a laugh but ... that's about it.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 47
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/12/2011 7:12:25 PM

and to not pee on the floor of the movie theater....


Ahhh crap; THAT'S why she didnt want a repeat date.


it kind of comes off like a baboon that tries to walk upright and use chopsticks.


Now that's hot.

 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 48
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/12/2011 8:04:33 PM
Many women will accept a funny, sexually undertoned email from a man that they think is very, very sexy. But she has got to think you are pretty frickin hot for you to get away with this.

Same with the men...if big ol bertha emails them being all sexually suggestive, they reach for the barf bag..but a young, tall, very pretty thin woman with huge jugs can say anything in an email and get many replies. You have not really discovered anything new here.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...so maybe there is a woman or two out there who will find YOU very, very sexy...and Im sure they would appreciate your email. Have fun trying to find her (them). lol

You got away with this because she emailed you first...she was already interested before you responded. Cold calling/emailing with sexually suggestive emails is only gonna work if she thinks you are 'hot' on some level- like the one who emailed you already did.
 Jenn_Ink25
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 49
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/13/2011 8:47:57 PM
I prefer to leave the sexual banter for later. If a guy emails me using sexual undertones or being overly sexually open or vulgar, then I hit the delete button. So IMO quit whining about women not giving you a chance, and try being yourself and not creepy. What you may think comes off as nice and funny, may seem creepy or douchebaggish to some women. Its all about the approach you use and what you put out. If you lead with sex, well then don't cry if that's all you get or vice versa.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 50
Quit being fun, and thoughtful, and friendly.
Posted: 10/16/2011 8:06:01 AM

When I get sexual banter from females on here I figure they are too drunk

What makes you sure they are females, white man?

There are plenty of posers on here with fake profiles, sometimes you can tell from the behavior, semantics and juvenile phrasing, beware the odd cyber chatter, Kemosabe..
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