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 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 116
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First Date Expectations - Over 50Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
You got unlucky. There are a lot of good people out there.

This is not his first nor his last bad behavior.
 badtoolman
Joined: 7/10/2011
Msg: 117
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First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 1/11/2012 6:25:35 PM
Wow I'm sorry for that experience , there is no excuse in any manor that is acceptable,
if it ever happens, just tell him you need to use the restroom, make sure he doesn't follow and leave. I truly believe there are many of us that are gentlemen.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 118
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First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 1/11/2012 6:28:19 PM

if it ever happens, just tell him you need to use the restroom

Why to lie? She handled it in a much classier way.
 womaniam1959
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 119
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First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 1/11/2012 7:06:02 PM
Some mens think just because we are on line we are not ladies. So they try to treat us like hoes. But they on line so what do that make them.. I am a lady and want to be treated like one..groping in public is for kids.
 womaniam1959
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 120
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First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 1/11/2012 7:14:17 PM
You no the next time. Tell him he is right you are not a virgin but he got you mix up because you are not a ho. If thats what he looking for he stoped to soon. So tell him to keep looking and wish him luck. Then just walk away.
 Cholayna
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 121
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First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 1/11/2012 7:21:29 PM
Have had that happen on 2 of my 4 dates from here. The third happened when he had to stop to change his work clothes. So, out of the 4 dates, 3 of them were horndawgs from the get-go. The 4th was absolutely a mutual no chemistry and simply parted after an hour.

Its getting to a point where you either wear battle iron or just give up on dating altogether.
Sigh.........
 Picelli
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 124
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 1/11/2012 7:55:01 PM
Can't resist the temptation, sarcastic humor moment warning:

(note to self: when on a first meet and greet, never reach down and grab... ya... wait until the second date.)

Thanks Ya'all!

- just because I like this emoticon.
 newtotown6512
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 125
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 1/13/2012 1:14:02 PM
Funny how a topic marked 'First Date Expectations' can turn into a PSA:

Ladies: If you are recently entering the dating circuit for the second time, please follow some(?) of the following tips:

Always carry a cellphone
Always tell others where you are going
First dates can be during the day, in a public area, and a coffee at Tim Horton's is a totally acceptable 'first date' venue.

* If you have adult children, ask and listen to their advice.

I'm sure the internet would have plenty of additional suggestions.

And 'Yes', Ladies...the dating environment has changed.

Namaste,
 ForumsCreeper
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 129
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First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 1/13/2012 4:20:22 PM
----- Scratching
2) grope on first date

Off my list of viable options to do on first date.
 tlcme1964
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 131
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 1/15/2012 6:56:29 AM
Not true. Get over it & chalk it up to a bad experience, which we've all had. Women seem to emphasize the bad & dwell on it as if it's the norm, which it's not. Worse is you ladies let it influence your behavior towards other potential prospects. You rarely read about guys faulting the entire female population for a bad 1st date or meet.
 Rain587
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 132
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 1/15/2012 11:35:50 AM
Some woman expect it on the first date. A woman I know was angry her last date didn't touch her or make her feel "wanted". She said he blew it even though from the sound of her date it went well and he even asked her back out.
 LastSunset
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 133
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 2/18/2012 2:40:03 PM
Maybe I'm old fashioned. But I wouldn't get all grabby on the first date. Be good company and enjoy yourself. Isn't that what it's all about?
 FreschFisch
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 134
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 2/18/2012 5:12:53 PM
Id never do this myself but..

I do know guys who operate that way. No I don't approve..

Some men actually believe it increase their chances and believe it when I tell you that there are many women out there that are fine with it because thats all they want you to do!

How does a guy get his tongue down your throat if you aren't kissing him on your first date? Im not suggesting just asking.. Are you sending signals? Maybe pre-date sexts? Lots of girls do that. I think its pretty retarded before I meet you but I'll play back. Wouldn't dream of pursuing it though in reality unless it was indicated in person. Some just don't know the difference between sexts and real life.

Sorry for your bad experience. Hope it doesn't happen often.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 136
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 2/19/2012 2:17:58 PM

Its getting to a point where you either wear battle iron or just give up on dating altogether.Sigh.........


Have to agree since more than half the men I met I needed armor.. I no longer date off the internet because I was really developing a very negative attitude.. Nothing like getting new baggage you really did not want.. Luckily my new baggage did not last more than a few months and I was ready to date again.. However this time it was not going to be with anyone I met online.. Now I just date those I met a various parties and functions. I get to see them first and talk to them in person, which is a huge plus point.. None of them expected dessert at my place after dinner..
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 138
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 2/19/2012 4:01:49 PM
We have to use common sense when dating anyone we meet in any situation, not just online dating. I have had meet and greets and lunch/dinner dates with a few dozen men I met online and I haven't run into a single one that had any overt expectations or groped me or said anything untoward. I think this is more the norm than thousands of cads out there.

As Vallievoom has pointed out in hundreds of posts (under different names and ages) all men online are cruisers, losers and users is untrue. This is like making a general statement that all women online lie about their age by 10 years, are frigid, only want men for their money only to toss them aside when they get what they want. One or two bad apples in an gender should not tarnish the rest.

I agree with some posters that we need to pay attention to the little details, ask questions and hone our picking skills. This goes for both genders.
 onehappyfellow
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 139
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First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 2/19/2012 6:37:28 PM
I used to teach self defense including a course for women on how to handle boors. A very attractive lady friend - worked in cosmetics - used to have a guy would sit next to her in the company cafeteria and put his hand on her upper thigh with an inappropriate and unwelcome squeeze. He persisted in this behaviour in spite of being told hands off.

I showed her a two finger pick up and let her practice on me. I gave because I knew it would be painful.

He came into the cafeteria sat down beside her with his usual gesture, instead of objecting she move in closer to him as if reaching for his hand, took two fingers and threw him across the room. She was somewhat embarrassed because she didn't expect it to be that effective. He also was embarrassed but never did it again.

One for the ladies.
 classicone09
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 140
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 2/20/2012 3:00:15 PM
Well you should have kneed him, slapped him, or walked away. Just dont hold it against us. Not all men are that way!
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 141
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 2/21/2012 11:47:48 AM
it's not just a certain age range or race trust me 18yr-80yr theres all kinds of men who will say or do all kinds of stupid things wether it be first date or many years later in a relationship...
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 142
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 2/21/2012 12:09:23 PM

That_girl*:
It's not just a certain age range or race trust me 18yr-80yr there's all kinds of men who will say or do all kinds of stupid things whether it be first date or many years later in a relationship...


That's not a Male or Female trait, but a human trait. On a first date there may not be a second, but in a LTR, you work through those times if you want to save it.
 risingmist
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 143
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 2/28/2012 6:56:09 PM
Unwanted touch is 3rd degree assault and actionable. It is illegal. That man is a predator freak and most likely does much worse when there are no witnesses around. I had a horrid date with a man who drank alot at the cafe and kept reaching across the table to bop me on the arm! I told him to stop touching me and he said I was a "hater." I got up and left.

Sorry you had that experience. Woudn't it have been nice to empty a can of mace in his face?

Good grief, what a monster.
 risingmist
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 144
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 2/28/2012 7:03:29 PM
I went to dinner with an older man once. It wasn't fun, he spent the whole dinner talking about his mother! He then revealed he lived with her! So afterwards I was beelining to the door. As we said goodbye he dived at me trying to kiss me. Had enough time only to turn my head so he got my cheek. I stopped and let me walk ahead of me, etc.
 risingmist
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 145
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 2/28/2012 7:17:17 PM
I was talking with a man the other day and it was a good conversation. Then he suddenly asked me how many men I had had sex with. I responded that I don't discuss that topic with a stranger. He then asked me if I wanted to go to dinner and I said no and why. It is hard to imagine the thought processes of these people. I mean, they wake up and think "how can I cope a feel today, hmmmm...?" Hurl!

One of my college roommates was raped on her first date with a friend of the family, someone everyone had known for 15 years or more. She became pregnant and it was altogether horrific. This man fooled everyone and no amount of pre-knowing him, indicated he was capable of this. It was her first sexual experience, with an insane rapist.

It is a shame that some men think that simply because a woman agrees to meet a man, that that indicates it is open season!
 risingmist
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 146
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 2/28/2012 7:29:07 PM
I ran for the bathroom once to avoid a hidious (and huge) man and was stunned when he began to bang on the door (in a very crowded coffee shop) and call out my name! I stayed behind the locked door until it got quiet then emerged with my cell phone plastered to my ear and headed out the door. I have found that some behavior can be stopped by raising the phone and calling out 911, 911, 911. The indicator that these perv balls know what they are doing is wrong, is when it stops immediately with the threat of police action.

I have also turned to people around me to ask them directly if they will help me get safely out the door. And they assist. One man offered to stand there until I was in my car, which was great.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 147
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First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 2/28/2012 7:38:08 PM
^^^
It seems that you are meeting disproportionate number of bad guys. Either too many dates or poor screening.
 gagn1
Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 148
First Date Expectations - Over 50
Posted: 2/28/2012 8:09:45 PM
WE men either suffer from ED or we are pervs! Go figure.
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