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 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 26
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f-buddies vs serious relationshipPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
June? And you sleep together, enjoy dinner and movies,sports etc...... what more are you looking for? Surely you're not asking for undying love at 4 months? Chill out, let it happen. And stop with the FB jokes, you want her to take you seriously then take it up a few notches on the class scale.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 27
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 10/14/2011 5:42:28 PM
A woman that DOESN'T WANT to COMMIT????? OMG,,,say it isn't so????? The horror!!! I thought it was us men that never wanted commitment?????? WTF????

If you want commitment OP, and she doesn't, I'm pretty sure you two have a problem. And yeah, you miss each other when "apart", but really, you two are just missing not being alone, and the exchanging of body fluids. It ain't rocket science.

Enjoy, or not. Shiat or get off the pot, as they say.


She doesnt want to commit saying that she's not certain that we can pull it off as a couple.


Before ya walk from her, ask her what in this world is "certain" other than the sun rising and falling everyday????? Are ya sure she is 32??????
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 28
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 10/14/2011 5:43:05 PM
Serious f buddies sounds ok

 Melannie1
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 29
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 10/14/2011 5:58:50 PM
Hi SimplyEric. From my perspective, your present partner does not appear to want to begin a long term relationship with you. This is evident in what you mentioned as 'she doesnt want to commit'. It appears that she has acutally stated this to you. Why hang onto a relationship that is not working for what you want or need? Move on SimplyEric, go through the motions of loss over this relationship, and find another who is moving in the same direction as you. M.
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 30
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 10/14/2011 6:15:27 PM
you're thorn? or you're torn? peace, peace.

anyways, it's refreshing to read a thread where it's the man who is now wanting to be serious from being on FWB. normally and usually, it's the girl who wants more than FWB.
 GottaBSomethinMore
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 31
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 10/14/2011 6:29:45 PM
Could not have said that better myself! Men like "us" seem to lose ourselves in pleasing that very special woman in our lives........

take care
Jeff
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 32
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 10/14/2011 6:39:59 PM
nothing certain as the sun rising and falling everyday as Walts said. so true. what is she expecting?
 Indy65
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 33
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 10/15/2011 12:50:02 AM
i hear ya on that subject man, i've been seeing my neighbor. it seemed like nothing serious at first, but then i developed feeling for her. as soon as she sensed that, it was over betweeen her and i. long story short, i still am friends with her, but she's admitted to sleeping with other people and so have i as well, but seem to can't get her out of my mind. her kids like me, and ask why i'm not with her, and i tell them it's up to her. not sure really as to what to do with this situation. i'd wish it was less complicated, but it's hard not to be around her living so close to me. i've tried to move with other woman, but seem to be drawn to her all the time, minus the sex for the moment, lol.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 34
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f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 10/15/2011 1:38:49 AM

not sure really as to what to do with this situation. i'd wish it was less complicated, but it's hard not to be around her living so close to me.


It's not complex at all.


i've been seeing my neighbor. it seemed like nothing serious at first, but then i developed feeling for her. as soon as she sensed that, it was over betweeen her and i.


You developed feelings beyond the FWB she was interested in and called it quits when she realized you two were not on the same page.

So unless you can emotionally backtrack you are not going to get anywhere with her. She doesn't want anything serious with you, maybe not with any guy ATM.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 35
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 10/15/2011 8:51:51 AM
Ask her WHY/WHAT she feels would make a relationship undoable...then go from there!

The only way to figure this out is to ask her.

If she likes her sexual freedom then consider an open relationship...then you BOTH get what you want.
Whatever the reason, either see if there's a compromise/solution available or break it off...or stay as you are and keep your feelings in check.
 SireKane
Joined: 12/26/2010
Msg: 36
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f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 1/12/2012 3:32:41 PM
Despite the break up and make ups she still does not want to be in a serious relationship with you. You know what you need to do, you need to move on and don't look back.
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 37
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 1/13/2012 5:13:34 AM
it's getting pretty boring around here when people dig up OLD threads..................
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 38
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 1/13/2012 5:18:01 AM
keep banging her till you find someone else...but go looking for the type of person ur looking for...then leave for good. its always easier to find another job when you already have a job...:-) lol
 long2b
Joined: 7/12/2010
Msg: 39
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 1/16/2012 4:20:52 PM
GET OUT..... GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN,,,,
 Kings_Knight
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 40
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 1/19/2012 6:39:37 AM
Perception. Is. Reality.

If this affair began as 'F-buddies', the mindset determining overall perception of the relationship and what both of you want it to be has been in place from the start. Now you want more and she's not on board with 'more'. Have you considered she may still be stuck at 'F-buddies' ... ? That may be the only status she ever assigns to you. To get what you say you want now, you may need to start with a 'tabula rasa' in the form of another person who has NOT been told that their role in your life is just a 'F-buddy'. Once perceptions are set, it's very difficult to change them. The first thing taught in Public Relations 101 is that the best one can hope to accomplish is to move the other party from 'negative' to 'neutral' - it's a virtual certainty you won't ever get them from 'negative' to 'positive'. 'Neutral' isn't very firm ground if it's a relationship beyond 'F-buddy' that you'd be wanting now.
 Eagle Fish
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 41
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 1/19/2012 1:51:18 PM

OP: f-buddies vs serious relationship
I'm 43, she's 32...I like her very much and I think she does like me too. The problem is that I want more than just a casual thing between us. She doesnt want to commit saying that she's not certain that we can pull it off as a couple. ….Should I just keep seeing her in hope things will change on my favor or just call it a day and leave for good?


She told you what her answer is bud… You’re old enough by now to get the program… She is using you for your tool. Last time I checked you’re both adults… Why don’t you act it? If you don’t like the situation - Leave. What are you thinking with? Oh yeah, sex is good…. You answered it.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 42
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 1/8/2016 7:23:50 PM
mikewm- (post #19) Hey-op...........Write what mike here says down, print it out, what ever, this is SPOT on and the best advice so far.
 oneman870
Joined: 9/30/2015
Msg: 43
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 1/9/2016 11:29:17 AM
hate to tell you but all females on this site are heartless whores.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 44
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f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 1/9/2016 8:56:18 PM
oneman870 said:
hate to tell you but all females on this site are heartless whores.


Sounds like the rant of a man who can't get laid. What went wrong? Didn't they wanna on a first meet after going dutch for coffee? B!tches!
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 45
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f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 1/9/2016 9:19:52 PM
She is ambivalent about a serious relationship it seems but wants you around.
I would not leave if you really like her. Just go with the flow and see how things pan out. It is only four months after all and she is being sensible.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 46
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f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 1/9/2016 9:24:04 PM
your picture really shows who you are oneman870 and good luck with getting anyone to go out with you, that has read your post. I would not go near you with a ten foot pole nor trust you one inch.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 47
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 1/9/2016 9:29:11 PM

hate to tell you but all females on this site are heartless whores.

Reminds me of the old Russian joke my mother told me. "Did she give it to you?" "No..." "Me either... what a whore!"
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 48
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 1/9/2016 9:44:42 PM

Don't make someone a priority that makes you their option. If she enjoys your body so will another woman (that may want a serious relationship).

Spot on advice. Also applicable to women in the same predicament.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 49
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f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 1/9/2016 9:48:38 PM
I'm sure our long ago departed OP's issue ran its course since he started this topic in 2011.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 50
f-buddies vs serious relationship
Posted: 1/9/2016 10:01:18 PM
I thought the joke was, the difference between a b1tch (which is just an acronym for Babe In Total Control of Herself) and a ho is the latter sleeps with everyone, the former sleeps with everyone but you.

Alas, the OP may have finally settled things happily ever after since 2011, but there's probably plenty of new people in this situation...human nature doesn't change much :)
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