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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Did I just "friend zone" myself...twice?      Home login  
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 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 26
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Where do I stand with this chick?


In my opinion; that depends on you making a move, and letting her know you want to go deeper with her real soon.

A hug...and turn her face to you....and a kiss...soon.

(If not; you will show "her" its just friends)

I'm a guy, so take that advice with a grain of salt; I could be 100% wrong, but I would go for the movie kiss after a nice close night without doubt

The first girl you need to ask out on a date,


In my opinion; you're already on the date, several times over, seal the deal now.


what are you waiting for?


Now on to girl number two! A couple months ago she was hired on where I work. We spend six hours a day working side by side, and she is absolutely beautiful. She also has a boyfriend


Friend; with no chance of anything more while you are: A) workin together and B) she s not single of her own volition first. That would be my decision; no way.
 paulj_1068
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 27
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 10/16/2011 8:46:04 PM
aren't friends good as well sometimes? if they are good enough to consider romantically then they should qualify as great friends. In my opinion its meant to be or not, if its so difficult.... maybe its just best to be friends. There is that thirty day number that should be accounted for also.
 Simon4567
Joined: 10/9/2010
Msg: 28
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 10/16/2011 8:56:14 PM

Did I just friend zone myself...twice?


No dude, you didn't friend zone yourself; you landed in an airport twice. Girl 1 & 2 got more baggage than O'Hare International. So don't fret on them or else you're going to regret all the time you spent on them.

Whoa, that rhymed. Awesome.
 jimolee
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 29
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 10/16/2011 9:01:03 PM
Maybe you're just too nice, sad to say.
 KratosSpawn
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 30
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 10/16/2011 9:35:52 PM
I think women do rebound, but differently from men. Women will give one of her back up dudes more shine & play time so he can make her feel wanted and all. Once she finds something better or has her confidence back up sky high to return to her main dude...she'll leave you hanging in the wind.

You're main problem from these 2 post seems like a case where you are just uber timid with your game. You still count text & phone calls as something siginficant. You're allowing yourself to be their text buddy & shoulder to cry on. You're like their safety comforter & male tampoon they can vent with & relieve all of their emotional baggage on.

You've got to be a way more edgy & decisive with your game. Instead of texting back & forth, why don't you ask them out and if they aren't down let them go!!!

Don't let your ego tell you to prolong these nonsense texting relationships just so you'll avoid the truth of learning how she feels about you.

I say this not to judge or be mean spirit, I just want to snap you back into reality so you can develop that shark skin that allows you to force women to come correct or get the F$%# out of your face. #Realtalk
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 31
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Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 10/16/2011 9:40:04 PM
I do not think the original poster suffers the nice guy syndrome, but he does show some of these traits.
 jdykstra11
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 32
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 10/17/2011 5:22:26 AM

Women will give one of her back up dudes more shine & play time so he can make her feel wanted and all. Once she finds something better or has her confidence back up sky high to return to her main dude...she'll leave you hanging in the wind.


I get the feeling that this is what girl 1 is doing. She was looking for an ego boost (who doesn't like those?) and I just happen to be that guy until she finds something else. It wouldn't surprise me at all if this was the case. That's why I'm sort of reluctant to throw myself out there.

Girl 2 told me yesterday that she broke up with her boyfriend, and that she "doesn't know what to do." Sounds like the drama is only going to get worse...

So the general consensus here is...
Girl 1-Grow a pair and ask her out, or at least ask her what she's thinking
Girl 2-Run like hell, she has bad news written all over her. (yeah but...she's so dang pretty! )

I've heard of the nice guy syndrome before, but I've never figured out exactly what it is. Anybody care to explain?
 Happysmile72
Joined: 12/21/2010
Msg: 33
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Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 10/17/2011 5:32:58 AM
buy the book "No more Mr nice guy" by Dr Robert Glover its almost a background in being a MAN
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 34
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 10/17/2011 3:00:55 PM
Girl 1-Grow a pair and ask her out, or at least ask her what she's thinking


Screw asking her out; you're already there dude!!

Just flat out kiss her next time you're leaving for crapsakes!!

If you're near her house, there is a GREAT chance you will end up in that taz tornadoe all the way to wherever you guys make it before your interest and affection for eachother takes over any instinct to get "somewhere"!! (Tables work ok btw; make sure its not antique)







GO----FOR----IT

YOU CAN DO IT!



If she says no; she loses faaaar more than you do, and you BOTH know it.

 drjrj3279
Joined: 11/25/2009
Msg: 35
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/1/2011 7:05:54 AM
LoverFlower1970: an attitude like that??? then for you to go on and bash men??? What zone are you in with guys? Give me a break.

Having an attitude that certain kinds of sociopathic people (both men and women) exist and recognizing these traits is essential. Obviously our interest here is dating women, and there are types and behaviors to steer clear of.

However: men and women communicate very differently, which isn't game playing.
BOTH gals expressed DISinterest very clearly. Anytime she's got an existing relationship in progress, it's game over. If she has an ex prominently lurking around, it's over.

It's time to start reading up on Doc Love and Vin DiCarlo. Anytime she pours her heart out to you (esp. about her problems, esp. romantic problems), using you as her free therapist, etc., then count yourself out. What you count as her flirtiness probably wouldn't come across that way to a common observer...it's just a projection of your own high interest level on her speech.

Around your age in college, I had a couple of nasty experiences with this that changed me forever. Women KNOW when a guy wants them by instinct...yet some of them will still have him (despite obvious awkwardness) around because it meets her self-esteem 'needs.' This really isn't right...and yes, it can also happen between the sexes in reverse. Though it's more women to guy friend, whose needs (and I don't just mean carnal) aren't being met...and are further thwarted by the time continually spent/energy on her and the constant reinforcement of being rejected.

My point: get away from both of them (or greatly minimize your interactions) and meet new women. Be up-front about your interest with them, all the while being cool and a bit aloof. Be scarce: don't constantly call or text...do so just to set arrangements to meet. Once the relationship blossoms, that can change. Otherwise, it's 'needy,' which acts as a huge turnoff and will get you either ditched or friend zoned.

IF she's interested, she'll make time for you OUTSIDE of group settings while being affectionate. On the other hand, if she tries to pull you into group 'dates' early on, then she's likely not interested. Move on. She doesn't call back, or flakes/cancels out on dates without offering an alternative, gave over. Move on. You get the idea.

And, stop buying them dinners. 50 years ago, women sadly had only their piggy banks to their names. Now (20s and 30s) they earn more than guys. Many will take the free stuff, then friend you. Ultimately, it comes off as needy and desperate.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 36
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/1/2011 8:03:14 AM
OK I read the replies and the information the OP added.

At first I wanted you(OP) to surrender your man card! Then I checked your age, you're 20! This whole thing smacks of high school! Who likes who, who teases who, who will, who won't! Gawd help me!! I have a headache from all the BS sexual tension.

Look pal, the only advice I have for you is simply to DO IT! You remind me about the guy standing by the swimming pool who can't decide if he wants to go for a swim! Is it too cold, too deep blah blah blah!!

The only person who knows what they want out of this is YOU!

My advice(which from what you wrote, I know you won't follow) is ask girl #1 out on a date. Or at least tell her you want more. Stop paying for her, go directly to the bathroom and wash (with soap) that Holiday Inn off your forehead!

As for girl#2, 2 problems, you work with her(don't sh1t where you eat)it can be uncomfortable dating someone you work with, after it goes south. Aside from that, she has a guy. Let this one go.

Back to my statement "I know you won't follow", you seem to enjoy this garbage, kinda like a fantasy world. The she loves me, she loves me not day dreaming, seems more important than solving the problem. Almost 1/3 of the people here have said ask her out. Instead of saying I did it, or I will do it, you keep posting updates on things you haven't done.

If you wind up in the friend zone, it's all on you.
 newwtothis
Joined: 10/7/2011
Msg: 37
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/2/2011 12:33:21 PM
Really man there is nothing wrong with being in an attractive girls friend zone..Why?

1. She has other attractive friends and thinks your a great guy...Big plus..

2. Her friends know your the type that can be there for them...

3. Your more than likely a safe person to them as well..

4. Stop trying to hit it with her, and tap on her social netwrok some, ASK her if she has any single friends looking to meet a "good" guy.

Friend zone is what you make it...Its also the friends with benefits zone..etc
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 38
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/2/2011 12:44:30 PM

4. Stop trying to hit it with her, and tap on her social netwrok some, ASK her if she has any single friends looking to meet a "good" guy.


Willing to bet she would not share. He is probably, in her mind, "hers". (As those girlfriends are hers....and not his)

Selfishness is often, at least, consistent.


Friend zone is what you make it...Its also the friends with benefits zone..etc


And if there are no benefits (not only speaking sexually)....well...

 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 39
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/2/2011 1:48:00 PM

gotta love these crazy women and their stupid mind games


Sorry to burst your bubble but, I am not one to evere say someone is playing games (I really hate that term actually) because people more often then not tend to sit back and let situations unfold by themselves hoping that it goes their way.


I could see myself dating her


So why aren't you? Did you ask her on a date yet? Did you ask her how she would feel dating you? Did you do ANYTHINNG at all for it to head in that direction?


We text each other almost daily, and she's very flirty, so of course I flirt back


And you leave it at that, huh? Sure seems to me that you could take it to the next level but I already heard you, you don't have the self confidence to do anything about it.


"you're such a good guy, thanks for being a great friend"....Where do I stand with this chick?


Sure seems that she already gave you your answer... you made it to the friend zone.


A couple months ago she was hired on where I work. She also has a boyfriend


Dating a work collegue is never a good idea as you two are always together... through the thick and thin.


I'm I just that un-datable guy friend?


That is what you seem to have been demonstrating so far. The day YOU are ready to put the actions you need to do yo get what you want, you will stay in the friend zone with women.
 cutiecaliente
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 40
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/2/2011 3:28:15 PM
with the first woman... sheis playing you... she accidentally forgets to bring money? ... ask her out for a date...andif she says no... stay away from her

and secondwoman... stay away from her... it is a game for her... her boyfriend makes her happy and sheknows who to come to ... to cry

you need to think of yourself and treat yourselfwithrespect...unfortunately there are toomany people who are miserable and not nice
 nice2smile
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 41
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Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/2/2011 5:38:35 PM
Girl #1 definitely is into you and wants to date you. Absolutely. Take the plunge and take her on a date.

Girl#2 is a player, and if you let her, she will string you along. Don't bother being any more than work friends with her. She is into her BF.

Use your gut feelings. That will give you your answer.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 42
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/2/2011 6:04:30 PM
girl 1 is into you, but since you are not really attracted to her, you should not date her--you need to "friend zone" her, or actually, start dating someone who is not either of these women so she gets the message. Why would you want to date someone you know well but are not attracted to, no matter how much you like them? You will never have the kind of passion it takes to sustain a relationship. You would just be using her. do you want to be that girl?

Girl 2 you are attracted to--but do not get involved with people at work. Quit answering her calls and being her "friend," b/c all that is in this for you is a bunch of heartache, unsatisfied lust, and maybe losing your job. She does not want to sleep with you--when a girl is attracted to a guy, she'll tell him he's smart, sensitive, etc., not 'you are a great friend," or "you really understand me." Both those latter statements are about how you meet her needs, NOT about how she is attracted to you. Cool things at work, and quit texting, etc.
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 43
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/2/2011 6:17:26 PM

"you're such a good guy, thanks for being a great friend"

You're her friend, nothing more. The moment they throw this phrase around, you're doomed. SO just be her friend, get the thought of anything romantic out of your head, and move on. Also they call you crying with their troubles...You're the crying shoulder friend.
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 44
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/2/2011 6:19:00 PM

buy the book "No more Mr nice guy" by Dr Robert Glover its almost a background in being a MAN

No, don't do that. You don't need to read a book on being a man.
 jdykstra11
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 45
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/2/2011 6:51:02 PM
I guess I'll update this a little...

Girl 1 keeps canceling on me, when I suggest getting together (even in a group setting), she always has an excuse. So I think I'm just gonna leave this one alone, it seems pretty clear to me that she's just not that into me. We still talk every once in a while, but things have cooled off. No big deal.

Girl 2 has a MASSIVE amount of baggage, and can't decide who/what she wants. Seems like she and her boyfriend are "on a break" but still seeing each other. I'm staying out of this one, the whole situation is just oozing drama. It kind of sucks that she's not smart enough to realize that her boyfriend is a complete a**hole who is only using her for one thing, and it's really painful to watch. But there's nothing I can do about it.

And you're all correct, dating within the workplace would probably end in disaster, I was thinking with the wrong head on that one. (Can I say that on here?)

Thanks for all the replies!
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 46
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/2/2011 6:59:04 PM

she's not smart enough to realize that her boyfriend is a complete a**hole who is only using her for one thing, and it's really painful to watch. But there's nothing I can do about it.
Sadly, this is how it is a lot of the time with women. There is something good right in front of them, and they neglect to see it because she loves her BF and is hoping it will work out. While all this time is doing her, and multiple other chicks on the side. I have been both of those kind of guys.
 jdykstra11
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 47
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/2/2011 7:13:16 PM

Sadly, this is how it is a lot of the time with women. There is something good right in front of them, and they neglect to see it because she loves her BF and is hoping it will work out. While all this time is doing her, and multiple other chicks on the side. I have been both of those kind of guys.


Yup, I'm starting to realize that. There are some great girls I know (who I'd love to date) who are constantly complaining to me about how pissed off they are at their boyfriends. Just makes me want to scream "Then why don't you dump his a** and date a real man?!" Believe me, it's been at the tip of my tounge a few times. But they always go back to their crappy relationships. I don't get it, I really don't.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 48
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/2/2011 9:29:19 PM
With young women and attraction...
it is only a temporary opening.
Miss your chance, it closes, and you're like her brother.

Girl 1:
should've said you wanted to see her in that outfit late at night.
and done so.
It was a come-on line.
Even if just a tease, you still should always swing at those pitches.

Girl 2:
don't know.
I wouldn't bother with her till she is single.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 49
Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/3/2011 12:50:02 PM
Even if just a tease, you still should always swing at those pitches.





 sg99
Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 50
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Did I just friend zone myself...twice?
Posted: 11/6/2011 7:27:41 PM
Girl #2 - Leave it alone. Co-worker and a boyfriend, nothing but trouble.

Girl #1 - Learn to be blunt. When she said to picture her in a sexy costume, easy response is "I'm picturing it on the floor next to my bed". If she doesn't get pissed, you're in. If you don't jump at it though, you're in the friend zone forever.
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