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Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 40
Need InsightPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
It sounds to me as though you wanted the "last word" (let me take you to lunch for your birthday, oh by the way don't want to see you for a while).... then sit back and watch for his reaction.

You spent 2 years with this guy and it's still not working. I don't think either one of you is complimenting or enhancing the others life and thats what a relationship should be. Time for you both to move on....
Joined: 11/7/2010
Msg: 41
Need Insight
Posted: 10/19/2011 7:47:15 PM
He sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. Give him space.
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 42
Need Insight
Posted: 10/19/2011 9:12:09 PM
To me he sounds like a very,smart, kind and unselfish person. When you can care more about another person's happiness than your own that is quite a caring person and a gem. Too many people are selfish and self centered and want only what they want without caring that it might not be the best thing for the other person.
He sounds like a really good person.

Bi-polar is used way to often and people lump many other disorders into it or bad behavior to bi-polar.
There are many people that are bi-polar that are great people and do not have the issues people are always adding to the disorder which are untrue.
Mental disorders are like most things can't lump all people into one diagnosis. There are plenty of people with just bad character flaws that have nothing to do with a disorder.

If you want to really understand it read a lot about it, there is more than one type of bi-polar. A good movie about that is called. Mr. Jones. that is more the extreme version of bi-polar but a pure bi-polare without other disorders some can have with it. Also many people have more than One disorder at the same time which people get confused about. Just like any illness the more you know the better to understand.
But, until a doctor actually gives the diognosis it is just guessing. It could be many things other than that.
 irish eyes6565
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 43
Need Insight
Posted: 10/20/2011 5:11:20 PM
forget about the "going back to him". Just let this one rest for quite a while or forever. He wants you back after dating others? Really???? Sounds like an excuse for I want to see who else I can get while you hang on the rope. Just seperate now. If he really wants you he has to speak up and stop playing games.
 irish eyes6565
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 44
Need Insight
Posted: 10/20/2011 5:15:01 PM
I think this is futile the way it is. The bottom line is "Do you want to live like this for the rest of your life???" if the true answer is "no" don't go back.
 Laha Math
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 45
Need Insight
Posted: 10/20/2011 5:28:34 PM
Possible scenario: He thought you were his problem but after he broke up with you he found out you weren't. He'd like to get well and get back together. He knows he's a problem and doesn't want to be. There may be nothing he can do about it. You can wait around and see or you can move on. Sometimes you have to be ruthless, like pulling up seelings in your garden to give the others room to grow. Your decision.
Joined: 9/19/2011
Msg: 46
Need Insight
Posted: 10/21/2011 9:56:04 PM
Pretty much found out he is just playing games with my head again.. After asking him to not contact me anymore, he has contacted me three times in just 6 days. I had to be firm with him this time in hopes that he goes away forever.
 deere rancher
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 47
Need Insight
Posted: 10/21/2011 10:12:35 PM
anyway you interpret his actions ..the conclusion is still the same ..RUN ,RUN FAST
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 48
view profile
Need Insight
Posted: 10/22/2011 1:44:16 AM
If you want him to go away forever why not block him from the phone, pof, facebook, gmail, etc etc?
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 49
Need Insight
Posted: 10/22/2011 10:10:10 AM
Interesting that someone wants a relationship and play not to care by telling the other to stay away. And many people want multi-relationships. What kind of game is it? Can we call this a Love Game? Why can't people try to make things simple. When you like/love someone, be honest, stay with that person, don't look somewhere else. On the other hand, if you don't like/love someone, be honest, and steer away from that person forever. Just simple as that. That's what I think. :-) Well, I know it's not easy and simple. But at least we should try to make the world peaceful with love. No love war, no self war. Well, maybe that would be too boring eh? LOL
Joined: 3/3/2011
Msg: 50
Need Insight
Posted: 10/22/2011 10:19:36 AM
Cut the ties and stop having your life on pause

easier said than done sometimes I know

He broke it off with you and he is seeing other people
His mental health issues and everything else are not actually the issue here

He dosent want you just now but he wants to keep you hanging incase he dosent find anything he likes out there
If he finds a lady he likes you will be dropped so fast

The goosebumps and stuff - neah thats just manipulation

wow and I am so not a cynical person!
Joined: 9/19/2011
Msg: 51
Need Insight
Posted: 10/24/2011 4:51:12 AM
Thank you for all the insight. Over the weekend I came to a realization that he was messing with my head. I have since blocked his phone number, email, and text. Not sure if this will help since he called me 5 times yesterday and I did not answer. I’m healing through therapy, and meditation and filling my life with things I like to do and moving on.
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 52
Need Insight
Posted: 10/24/2011 5:14:59 AM

The issues is he needs meds and they are perscribed to him. He does not take them as perscribed, that is the biggest issue, he is on a constant emotional roller coaster. Not a good thing to be a part of and he is not my child so I could not demand that he took his medication properly.

Good God, that's just a sleighride to Hell I'd NEVER get on.
Joined: 10/9/2011
Msg: 53
Need Insight
Posted: 10/24/2011 7:14:24 AM
BI POLAR people are some of the most exasperating people you can be involved with.

you can never be comfortable with all the mood swings.

glad to hear you've blocked him from your life.

why take 5 day old leftovers when there's fresh filet on the stove?
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 54
Me ... as in, I am the subject of this thread.
Posted: 1/1/2012 7:16:33 AM
Hi cin____dy,

You don't accept messages from people far away, so unfortunately I need to post my gratitude somewhat more publicly.

I just read this thread ... if it looks stalkerish that I still feel the need to check up on the OP's postings on occasion, it is due to a long, hateful post on "Report Your Ex" -- a truly nasty site -- with my full legal name and other personal information to identify me in both the title and body of the post telling anyone who Googles me that I am a certifiably psycho narcissistic bi-polar ass. As I have a unique name ... and as a freelancer it's kind of a drag to have this rant come up on the first page of Google results for my name.

More damaging to me, though, was this sweet, passive person I lived with and thought I knew ... and the first person who had me considering forever in over twenty years ... posted it without mention; and then let time go by, acting normally, while I went on trying to be firm on the situation but supportive of her: helping her move and outfit a new place, hooking up her gas lines ... even bicycling over to her new place at 2 a.m. one chilly morning on her request to talk her down from a bad trip.

And yes ... this hateful, defamatory and very public rant was posted and online when she started this very thread.

For the record: I am not, nor have I ever been diagnosed bi-polar. However, my mother was, and hospitalized several times for some pretty horrifying stuff during my childhood ... so I have some pretty strong feelings of sympathy for sufferers and their loved ones, and more than a little disgust when the term is slung around wrongly and carelessly in conversation, let alone in public forums attached to people's names.

I am really trying to be vague and non-confrontational here, but this one thing I will say: the multiple calls referred to by the OP were in fact my absolutely desperate pleas for her to pull this post. Among other things now enshrined with the police, the OP told me "she would laugh every single time the posting hurt me until the day she died".

But I'm not posting to fight or defend; I'm posting to thank you, Cindy. Many of the posts in this thread used some reason and critical thinking, and I thank those people as well; and certainly harbor no ill feelings towards supporters of the OP based on information presented ... but your response was kindness and understanding of the first order. In fact, it was the first real healing I've felt over the OP's idea of public shaming.

Someday, I hope to let someone in again to the point where sharing this whole story will a) be my choice; and b) feel like the right thing to do. Your post, Cindy, felt like the caring and supportive hug I'd like to have that storytelling end with; something that until now I simply couldn't imagine. And now for the first time I can.

And I wanted to say thank you so very much for that; and let you know you made a difference to someone today.
Joined: 11/20/2011
Msg: 55
Need Insight
Posted: 1/1/2012 12:38:12 PM
I think he's using reverse psychology telling you to date, but hoping you will not and want to give him another chance.
 deere rancher
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 56
Need Insight
Posted: 1/1/2012 2:24:02 PM
OP ...... he giving you assurance that he's still on your backup list , in case you fail to find someone special among the men your dating

But secretly, he's moving on ...........and he won't be there ,should you want him back
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 57
Need Insight
Posted: 1/1/2012 2:52:45 PM
Just move on. He has a lot of work to do on himself and there is absolutely *no* telling whether he will finish the hard work, and continue with maintenance efforts. As with any other ex, quit staying in touch and really move on. It is one thing if you part friends b/c the break up is mutual--it's another when it is one sided; remaining friends is too hard on the one left behind. Quit torturing yourself with what did he mean; it does not matter b/c what YOU want and need is all that matters, and what you need right now is to move on expecting never to look back. Only with that mindset will you really get past this.
Joined: 5/18/2010
Msg: 58
Need Insight
Posted: 1/7/2012 12:09:02 PM
You truly need to understand what a bi-polar disorder is and how it affects people. Many people are forced to deal with this as it is their children or parents or some family member that has it. I cannot imagine why any normal person would want to voluntarily deal with this except on a purely friendship based relationship and even then with eyes wide open as to what this type friendship will be like. Those of us that have family with this disorder know too well how it can sometimes destroy normal life while trying to deal with it.
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 59
Need Insight
Posted: 1/8/2012 11:08:51 AM
You tried the relationship thing w/him, he ended it w/you. Continue dating others, let him work on himself, & don't look so far ahead in regards to coming back to him, he has too many issues & made his choice when he ended the relatonship, Going back to an ex never works.
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