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 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 27
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose ArousalPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
completely disagree... if the woman wasn't attracted to the guy...or she wasn't into him.. then yeah, it will not matter how much a guy chases her... she isn't going to change her mind... men however will most certainly lose interest... they might sleep with the woman.. but they aren't going to stick around...
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 28
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 10/19/2011 5:51:05 PM
Ah...... is that so.... lemme think about this...
 VirtuallyLove
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 29
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 10/19/2011 8:36:41 PM
My ex-mother-in-law used to tell the story of how she married her husband. She said she didn't find him attractive at all, but he kept pestering her and showering her with gifts and basically wouldn't take no for an answer, and she finally gave in and went out with him. And the rest is history.

I'm pretty sure that persistence can pay off with some women (and guys). But for others it would invite a 911 call and/or stalking charges.
 unspoiled
Joined: 9/25/2011
Msg: 30
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Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 10/19/2011 8:47:32 PM
Let's analyze the options:

1) Chase/pursue, whatever you call it:
a)Woman doesn't like you. Pursue more and she may still not like you or give in as I've heard happen so many times so it's not at all clear0-cut if the first instance of pursuing with rejection leads to permanent rejection...there is no defined number as a guide until which time a woman finally gives in...some want this game to happen and others do not. Unless the woman has an instruction manual she can hand out to all guys, we are left guessing.

b)Woman likes you from the beginning: You can make something happen or then reject her and say it was just to give women a taste of their own medicine (LOL).


2) Don't Chase/pursue:
a)Have to rely on woman chasing you...and it's not in the man's favor, generally speaking.


So, what are the better odds? Did I leave something out?
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 31
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 10/19/2011 8:57:07 PM
Players will keep chasing a girl until they score, a gentleman won't out of respect. If you show interest and she doesn't show any back let it go or you're just being a pest.
---------------------
Complete agree on this statement! so true
 cin____dy
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 32
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 10/19/2011 9:00:58 PM
I Disagree, it is the other way around in general. Even though we try over time to change the basic dating that women can now pursue and call and be the aggressor, in the inner person of each sex is a long standing belief that the man is the one that pursues.
I have read a lot about this and many documentaries on it. They still say that genetics not only social changes are a part of us and though through social change it has become more common for women to be the aggressor, we still have that inner voice that in general works best if the man pursues the woman. Counselors and dating experts will always tell you that.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 33
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 10/19/2011 9:45:25 PM
Some guys proudly announce that they don't chase, and I kind of respect that. But at the same time, I always wonder if it's because they are secretly afraid of rejection and just putting on a facade of 'I'm above that' to cover for it (we need a shrugging shoulders smiley, lol).

The way that some men chase is relentless (which I will honestly never understand) and frankly pretty off-putting.

But a man who can confidently step up to the plate and show his interest while taking a woman's needs into account is highly attractive.

That said, the strongest feelings I have ever had were for a man I myself kind of chased, which I had never done before. I ultimately failed, so I guess I understand why a man would want to quit, lol..
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 35
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 10/20/2011 12:16:32 AM

Even though we try over time to change the basic dating that women can now pursue and call and be the aggressor, in the inner person of each sex is a long standing belief that the man is the one that pursues.

That looks like a very convenient belief, but the real test is how well that's working. My guess is that online, it doesn't work very well. For every woman who wants to be pursued, there are plenty of others who are more than happy to cut through the games.

we still have that inner voice that in general works best if the man pursues the woman.

My inner voice from more than 25 years being single says that what works best is expecting obvious, recipricol interest.

Counselors and dating experts will always tell you that.

Then women who want to be chased ought to figure out how to get counselors and dating experts to chase them.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 36
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 10/20/2011 5:41:21 AM
The blog is about a male who is chasing a woman who was never interested in him to begin with. That is a moron.

People would do a lot better if they actually understood body language and didnt assume that everyone who is just being plain old polite wants in thier pants.

Yeah, if a man I am absolutely not interested in began to 'chase' me, he'd get a kick in the azz. No means No. Have respect for yourself first and dont sign up to be some chicks whipping boy. If she is not reciprocating interest then move on to a woman who does.

I enjoy a man who will show interest, but I have to have interest in him to enjoy it. Same as any man I know. We are not all that different.

People who write these types of blogs just want people to feel sorry for them.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 37
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Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 10/20/2011 9:24:34 AM
Response Back to: Beenambedie:
Beenambedie wrote, "Ok, here it is bluntly. It SHOULDNT take a while. You either connect or you don't. I do NOT chase or pursue. We can talk for a little bit, then I ask 1 time. If the answer is no or maybe I move on. No reason to waste any more of my time. I just recently began using this rule and I am a much happier person and yes I get dates."

Well I don’t know, it usually takes me awhile when meeting a STRANGER to really get to know someone. People can be whoever you want them to be within the first 6 months of dating. Believe me, I’ve learned the hard way! I've become smarter, not dumber!

When at first there is a connection, it could be based on lust. You know the "I like the looks", and WOW I want to know that! (1st sign of lust).

For a long term relationship to work (in my experience) one has to find out once the honeymoon is over, and the sex was beat to death, if the love is still there! How many agree to this, coming from lessons of the past?

So in my opinion, I just don’t jump into a connection without some warranty papers attached to my hip, lol...kidding! But hey, you are you and I am me. That’s why we are different people and we would never connect.

And just think we didn’t even have to go on a date to figure that out. That's why I love the written word!
Take Care,
Cheers!
 unspoiled
Joined: 9/25/2011
Msg: 38
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Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 10/20/2011 7:15:58 PM
In 1850 do you think there was such a thing as a stalker? I think some courtships or a man trying for a woman may have lasted weeks, months, and even years in hopes she breaks down.

I am certain many of you have heard from older people, perhaps your very own parents of how a woman wasn't interested in a man but after plenty of effort that today might be considered "stalking" that the woman finally gave in. There is probably something wired in us for this to occur between men and women.

Did this stalking thing come about after the feminist movement?
 katiescarlet11
Joined: 3/31/2011
Msg: 39
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 10/20/2011 7:29:30 PM
Yep ... I am inclined to agree with everyone's take on the issue...I so like knowing I have a little power when I know a man is really interested in me, to the extent of keeping him intrigued is all...but if I really like him then the respect thing is not an issue....but if I keep him waiting too long...and he backs off I know I have abused my power...so gotta keep it real and find the happy balance..
 instride
Joined: 12/14/2007
Msg: 40
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Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 10/20/2011 7:52:29 PM
If there is a mutual attraction why would there be a need to chase?
Wooing and courting in moderation.
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 41
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 12/13/2011 4:03:05 AM

66% of women won't contact a man first, so if you don't, then nothing's going to happen.
where are these numbers coming from?

No. If you are serious about relationship you never chaise women. You show interest and if it isn't reciprocated you move on. No one has time for these silly games.
 HotMami1
Joined: 11/26/2011
Msg: 42
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 12/13/2011 7:37:15 AM
It depends on how much you like the guy. If a guy is chasing me and I really do not like him then yes I'll lose any respect I had for him and probably stop talking to him all together. But if the guy I like chases me then I'd just be so happy.

You always like the person YOU chose more than one who chose you (or somehow got your attention).
 lacalli
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 43
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 12/13/2011 8:07:35 AM

My ex-mother-in-law used to tell the story of how she married her husband. She said she didn't find him attractive at all, but he kept pestering her and showering her with gifts and basically wouldn't take no for an answer, and she finally gave in and went out with him. And the rest is history.

My grandparents too and they were married 70 something years until he died at 96 and she died a couple of years later.
 Spherical_Dream
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 44
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Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 12/13/2011 10:12:04 AM
A certain level of persistance may actually seperate you from the pack. I alway believe real women will go for the guy who shows the most interest. Provided, he's not a creep or ugly or has some other disqualifyinh factor.

All things being equal, i'll quote Billy Joel: "Tell her about it! Tell her all your crazy dreams, let her know just how you feel. Show her you're for real"

He married Christy Brinkly, so I follow his advice regularly LMAO
 jt guy
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 45
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 12/13/2011 11:54:30 AM
All I know is... you chase a woman until SHE catches you !!!
 onlydateIF
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 47
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 12/17/2011 10:13:30 PM
Ditto to what Mrs Pollifax says
 sensualseekerns
Joined: 6/1/2010
Msg: 48
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 12/17/2011 10:35:12 PM
If you are talking about women who are brainwashed through the Cinderella media stories, then yes I agree with you OP. Those sorts of women are getting their thrills from the chase emotions. It is emotional porn to them, that makes them feel like somehow they are better then the other women you are not chasing. They develop exaggerated views of themselves in their local community, and believe this somehow validates their worth as human beings.

There is no real name for this twisted emotional based thinking in women, but most men recognize the behavior when they see it. How any woman would think that anything other then a stupid man would find this kind of behavior "normal" just boggles the mind. Deluded people flock together I guess.

As for myself, I have no time for a woman who professes a need to be chased. It is clear from her confession that she is living in a world of media delusions. Real human beings do not need to play silly childish chase oriented games in order to find true connection.

Do yourself a favor and only socialize with real women that think like real human beings. That might cut out a large percentage of the dating pool, but in the end you will find less grief and drama, and more opportunity to find a soul on the same level as your own (or better).

 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 49
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Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 12/18/2011 5:40:21 AM
The pursuing is fun, if you like the girl. And if she likes you, she'll do little things to show you, and that keeps it fun. If she doesn't, the whole process gets boring, and you quit. If that one's not interested, no use wondering why--just go on to the next one.
 LeonSanDiego
Joined: 12/13/2011
Msg: 50
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 12/18/2011 5:59:07 AM
There is a fine line between courtship and being smothering. And that line is dependent really on the girl and how much she is interested in you. But there can also be some general guidelines, namely that, which side of the line you are on can be deciphered by reading how she responds to your affection.
 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 51
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 12/19/2011 11:18:00 AM
Most women don't do the chasing so we have to. That simple. You just have to realize when the chaseis futile.
 wildandfreee
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 52
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 12/19/2011 4:56:08 PM
@sensualseekerns
sweet post
 whatagirlneeds12
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 53
Never Chase Women Because They Will Lose Arousal
Posted: 12/19/2011 5:45:39 PM
I am of the belief that men will pursue if they are interested because it is their biological imperative to do so. What's the antonym for emasculate? I believe that appreciation for biological imperatives can serve to un-emasculate our confused men who fret over whether opening a door for a woman will impress her or send her into a silent internal rage. In other words, encouraging men to trust their biological imperative is a healthy, positive thing. I admire the male beast (not using that in an derogatory manner) and I think we should encourage the maleness of man.

To no one in particular, please don't confuse "Men are natural pursuers" with "Men should do all the work in a relationship." When I speak of pursuit, I refer to pre-relationship pursuit. Once you're in a relationship, it is understood that both parties want to be in the relationship and pursuit is unnecessary. It then just becomes a matter of learning more about your partner and learning to live with your differences.
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