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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Do guys actually date single mothers?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 26
Do guys actually date single mothers?Page 2 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

I also fail to see why people assume the worst on these forums, pervs, fetishes, etc. they are the minority the exception and not the rule.

We cannot stop living simply because something may someday happen
here we go again and how many women even on the forums has complained about their ex molesting their child(ren) the stats that are out there, now I DID NOT SAY .... ALL men interested in children will target the single moms I said THE PERVS OUT THERE will target single moms, and yes its a double standard do you see many PERVS targeting single dads with custody of their kids?
 Koolage
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 27
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/21/2011 2:09:57 PM
Sounds as if some folks are already in a relationship maybe I should rethink this
 dad2stay
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 28
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/21/2011 2:31:35 PM
ICe

Yes you are right "some" women on this site have posted about ex's molesting kids but the real question is how many THOUSANDS have not posted this as it did not happen to them

Just because some people are less than desirable does not mean that everyone or even a majority is like them

Either way this is off topic and in violation of POF's TOS so once again yes some guys date single moms and believe it or not the majority of them are most likely nice guys too
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 29
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/21/2011 3:25:39 PM

so don't put words in my mouth

so sue me, kid


Do you have any more helpful tips perhaps like how to melt cheddar cheese in the oven?

yes. put it in the microwave, that way it just bubbles and doesnt burn

Young men are just in a different place in their lives. I totally get if they prefer to not date single mothers. Luckily Ive never been a young single mom, but, whether you are young or older, either way, no skin off my back and on to the next!
 dad2stay
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 30
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/21/2011 3:33:28 PM
LOL Your cute river
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 31
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/21/2011 3:40:18 PM

LOL Your cute river


right back atcha. Wait. You arent a young single dad are ya? If so, thats not in my dating criteria.... (jk)
 wackowench
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 32
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History
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/21/2011 5:07:24 PM
how rude are you.......i met someone when had 3 kids and then got married and had another baby.....so theres hope out there for everyone....not all men are like you.....
 olieary
Joined: 9/4/2011
Msg: 33
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/21/2011 8:21:43 PM
OP, I am also a single mother of 3. Very much have my stuff together as well. Matter of fact, too together. I am not as young as you, but young nonetheless. My experience has been that men don't care at all if women have kids or not. Not the right kind of men anyway. I too was a single mother at 22 with one child. He also left when I told him Iwas pregnant. (Not a sob story, just pointing out the relevance). I was single for 2 years because like all the posters said, guys my age were simply not interested in dealing with it. It wasn't so much that they had to deal with my kid, it was the fact that they had to wait for me to get a sitter and make arrangements to go out. Guys want to go out spur of the moment...planning is a big time mood killer.

Later I met someone got married blah blah blah. I am now a single mother again and have no problem meeting men. The problem I am having is not having the time for them. Men, young and old need a certain degree of nurturing and attention. All good mothers devote their time and affection to their children leaving little left for men. Unless a man has a child or has dated a mother in the past, he will be unable to grasp how different dating a single mother is.

My advice to you is to not really worry about it. Congratulations on your education and carreer choice. Worry about raising him and being the best mother you can be. I understand the need for a social life as being around kids 24/7 is enough to drive anyone crazy, but I have found that the most healthy type of adult interraction comes from friends and family...not a guy who may or may not call, may or may not hang around, may or may not even like kids.
Good luck to you.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 34
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/21/2011 8:41:51 PM

Men, young and old need a certain degree of nurturing and attention. All good mothers devote their time and affection to their children leaving little left for men. Unless a man has a child or has dated a mother in the past, he will be unable to grasp how different dating a single mother is.

My advice to you is to not really worry about it.


....this is very good advice. I've often said that if your kids come first, you really shouldn't be dating, and its nice to see ladies come out and say this up front. Its saves alot of time and grief in the dating process for both people.
 dad2stay
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 35
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/21/2011 9:33:28 PM
^^^
Then you wouldn't be a good parent would you.???

KIDS ALWAYS COME FIRST TO THE PARENT

Im sure your kids would appreciate knowing that any stray bimbo you bring home is automatically more important than them

How sad
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 36
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/21/2011 10:41:44 PM

Im sure your kids would appreciate knowing that any stray bimbo


Actually, no. My GF is anything but a bimbo, and my son and I are happy to be an EQUAL part of her and her kids lives. Just as they are an EQUAL part of mine.

Get it now?
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 37
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2011 9:38:49 AM

m sorry to say river girl, but it works both way when it comes to datint parents with kids. i have my boys ever weekend, but if i wanted to go out my parents would have them for me.


huh? you obviously didnt get my sarcasm to dad2stay, or you havent looked at my profile. I am also a single mother to a 9 yr old, and have been a single mom for about 8 yrs. I usually only date single fathers anyway. Good to hear you have him every weekend. I have mine 24/7 :) If I want to go out with my friends or a date, my parents are more than willing and would love to watch her. I dont abuse it and go out much anyway. Id rather have a nice night in with her and play wii
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 38
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2011 9:42:56 AM
Im 36, and what I was mainly talking about was when I was in my early 20s, going out and having my fun, I didnt really come in contact with single fathers. Alot of it was due in part to the age range I dated. Same ages as me, and they didnt have kids. I support dating single mom's ( } but, I am certainly not going to be sitting back and wondering why they wont date me. Simply because I really just dont care. There are tons of fish in the sea that will. So why bother sweatin' the small stuff!?
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 39
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2011 2:18:28 PM
The problem with SOME single parents and to those that like to break balls, notice the word SOME

one more time SOME single parents, did you catch that SOME single parents use their kids as "human shields" to keep a potential mate at arms length. These are people who because of bad experiences or just plain fear, cannot let themselves get that close to someone again.

Sometimes they cling to the kids like wreckage from their sunken marriage/relationship, feeling as though by keeping that connection with the past, everything will stay the same as it was. They claim to want a relationship, but when it starts happening they start hiding behind their kids as a way to back the other person off without it looking like their fault.

SOME folks dont want to date single parents because SOME single parents cannot balance, we know that your kids are important most people that has more than a modicum of intelligence knows that , appreciates that and doesn't question it.

Its the ones that cannot balance, they live their lives through their kids as aforementioned, we all know people that are now divorced, they were a close knit couple , they get married and have children, the mother know focuses her full attention on her child(ren) drops the hubby to second position because now her kids are her life.

Years past, the hubby silent in all of this, he loves his children to death, but resents his wife and as soon as the kids are out of the house he's gone too, and found love else where and the wife is wondering WTF did I do? I cared for my kids, and she " thought " things were fine with hubby only to find out he didn't have the balls to tell her that she neglected him during the kids growing up and he resented her and decided to leave, and you hear the wife now well ex wife is pissed at him and men in general and says the hubby is a jerk and jealous because he was in second place behind the kids.

Now the parents that balanced parenthood and love tends to have a higher success rate
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 40
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2011 2:30:03 PM
For once, I can somewhat agree with cdn. But, in my world, as a SINGLE PARENT, who is a WOMAN, see it in SINGLE fathers as the ones who put up a SHIELD. Im sure SOME single mothers have too. Hey, its a part of life. When I left my ex husband, I was bitter for a few years. I chose not to date for a few years as well. I took a "hiatus" if you will. During that time, I cleared my head, focused on my job, family, etc. When I came "back", I started anew. I see nothing wrong with taking a time out. No parent should hide behind their children for fear they could find love. Im sure SOME that do, are simply just too raw in their beginning stages of being newly single again. It happens.

I do have to say though, what a colorful in depth detail he has portrayed. This leads me to believe that SOME, keyword for those who like to break balls, I said SOME middle aged men with no kids, tend to have been scarred as a direct result of dating a single mom who was more middle aged with probably a teen. Perhaps SOME single men have come across a woman that was set in her ways.

Now, for myself, in her mid (ok, approaching late 30's) can balance a perfectly stable relationship and have. My dating life is separate from my child. A relationship I was in, the single father had a son my daughters age, and we often did alot of things together as a blended family, as well as being able to spend alone adult time.

PS...I am sorry it didnt work out with the lady that didnt let you in and clung to hers like wreckage of a sunken relationship/marriage. If it was an example, well, I applaud you for such a colorful rendition of what SOME single parents, and SOME single men and SOME single women have experienced.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 41
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2011 2:46:01 PM
SOME people like popcorn chicken, SOME people like roasted Possum balls over skunk sauce,SOME people like Orville redinbaucher popcorn over Jiffy pop corn SOME SOME SOME

Now I don't know why you think that it didn't work out with the lady , and Ive only dated 2 women with kids and both Im still friends with so Im sure where you think I posted about my experience, Ive posted from others experiences that they shared with me

Just because you or the OP or a few single parents can balance their lives that doesn't mean OTHERS can or has.

All one has to do is read the threads, and rejoinders and its case closed.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 42
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2011 2:50:00 PM
I dont like popcorn. Never heard of possum balls. Skunk sauce? Is that like fish sauce? That REAKS. But, eh, I dunno, maybe SOME like it.

Im grateful I can balance. Maybe SOME cant just yet, because its still too painful. But Im sure that SOME will eventually come around.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 43
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2011 3:19:12 PM

Years past, the hubby silent in all of this, he loves his children to death, but resents his wife and as soon as the kids are out of the house he's gone too, and found love else where and the wife is wondering WTF did I do? I cared for my kids, and she " thought " things were fine with hubby only to find out he didn't have the balls to tell her that she neglected him during the kids growing up and he resented her and decided to leave, and you hear the wife now well ex wife is pissed at him and men in general and says the hubby is a jerk and jealous because he was in second place behind the kids.

Now the parents that balanced parenthood and love tends to have a higher success rate



Nicely written, Ice. Agreed completely on this!! As I look back on my failed marriage, this was one of our issues, although it was me that put her second in the relationship and she left........I learned from that lesson!!

The above is one reason why I insist on equality (and with that comes balance) in the dating relationship with single parents........

Great post, Ice.

 OMGyaa
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 44
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2011 3:37:03 PM
This thread definitely seems to have a lot of ummmm nature in its content , seems like Ice is trying to freeze River while River is trying to break ice's flow .

Anyway OP as others have said in this thread most guys your age are not mature enough and willing to take on the added responsibility . It will take more patience on your part to find the right guy who can handle that . Chances are he will be older and/or possibly have a child of his own .

Good luck with your search and enjoy your time with your children.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 45
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2011 3:45:28 PM
^^^hahahahaha. ice ice baby......lol


It will take more patience on your part to find the right guy
good luck with your search and enjoy your time with your children.


 dad2stay
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 46
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2011 4:27:11 PM
Just because you or the OP or a few single parents can balance their lives that doesn't mean OTHERS can or has.


Actually this would have been better said if you worded it like this:

Just because a few single parents cannot balance their lives (dating & parenting) doesn't mean the majority of them cant

SilverHawk:

I still say that when dating someone with kids a good parent will never put the date before their own flesh and blood children, now if you get serious, move in, get married then eventually they may earn equality but they will NEVER be first
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 47
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2011 6:32:33 PM
I still say that when dating someone with kids a good parent will never put the date before their own flesh and blood children, now if you get serious, move in, get married then eventually they may earn equality but they will NEVER be first


Great!! I'm happy to see you don't have a problem being a doormat then and don't mind coming in second or third or fourth in the hierarchy. You'll make a perfect match for those moms that say their kids come first.

See!! I said earlier that there is someone for everyone out there...........

In your eyes, I guess I'll continue to be a bad parent and live a (happy) life of equality and balance with my son, my GF, and her kids........
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 48
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2011 6:41:58 PM
(JessROse) Not all single mothers are struggling. I may not have his father in our life but we're doing damn well.


*sigh* Yet again, a single mother arguing that, "*I'M* not like that; therefore, obviously, NO SINGLE MOTHER, ANYWHERE, EVER, is/was like that!"

If you wanna know why guys won't date *YOU*, then ask why guys won't date *YOU*. Don't ask why (some) guys won't date (some) single mothers, then pretend that *YOUR* situation negates ANY and ALL arguments that some guys put forth in a good-will effort to answer your question. SOMETIMES, a guy won't date a single mother because she is INCAPABLE of knowing the difference between a specific accusation, and a genral observation...

Cripes, I need an Excedrin...


(dad2stay) I still say that when dating someone with kids a good parent will never put the date before their own flesh and blood children, now if you get serious, move in, get married then eventually they may earn equality but they will NEVER be first


*shrug* Some people are of too limited intellect to be able to make REASONABLE ACCOMODATIONS to the realities of dating someone with kids/having kids and not realizing that this presents challenges that not everyone is gonna welcome. As I avoid stupid people with limited intellects, I never have any problems caused by this, so I'm happy as a clam.

And what's this "earn" shite? Date a single mom, and be trodden on and treated as second-rate, with the eventual prize being NOT being trodden on and treated as second-rate? (maybe) No thanks. I'm a human being, and a man, and I'm not willing to put up with being treated as second-rate, by ANYONE.

Arlo...
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 49
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2011 8:05:31 PM

*sigh* Yet again, a single mother arguing that, "*I'M* not like that; therefore, obviously, NO SINGLE MOTHER, ANYWHERE, EVER, is/was like that!


Where did you get that from? She was just stating that she isnt struggling. She was talking speaking of herself, not all single mothers.


Rivergirl....
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 50
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2011 8:08:56 PM

Great!! I'm happy to see you don't have a problem being a doormat then


Its funny, but another thread I was in, you said the EXACT same thing about being a doormat because someone stated the obvious about their offspring comming first.

Im curious, how does one become a doormat because they werent put first? One being a doormat is better used when one is taking advantage of another.
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