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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Do guys actually date single mothers?      Home login  
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 Johnnie Freeze
Joined: 3/31/2008
Msg: 126
Do guys actually date single mothers?Page 5 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Tinker39 - your mentality is, "if a man walks away its because hes a jerk". and "if a woman walks away, its because the man is a jerk" lol..I think youre looking for that other site.."male bashers anonymous" next door..
 zerolimits45
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 127
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/19/2011 7:51:48 AM
Guys don't hate single mothers they just don't want to date a girl who is not over there ex or has issues that are unresolved..if your intense and want to marry and have big plans already in the early stages..well guys hate that...take it slow. I'm a single fulltime dad of 2 little kids and I have given up for now but in many ways excepted m life to be busy and when you can't have a girl friend due to kids or whatever it just molds you to be independent and tough but being to tough and independent can ruin any chances with new guys/girls.
 zerolimits45
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 128
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/19/2011 7:55:20 AM
@wooliepack...you are so right man..women do look for a replacement dad and it's a normal thing.
 discovery-me
Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 129
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/20/2011 2:39:27 AM
I was going to make exactly the same post here asking these same questions. I am 20 years older than you so it is nothing to do with guys your age but most guys in general. But don't worry, somewhere there is a mature enough guy who understands that being a single mom is not a plague just as guys having their children living with their ex is not. And he will find you soon girl!
 discovery-me
Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 130
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/20/2011 4:33:57 AM
Silverhawk!

how selfish and inconsiderate of you. so if you have kids you won't date. Ofcourse you would because you will dump that which you believe is an inconvenience to the all loyal mom to raise for you.
 discovery-me
Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 131
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/20/2011 4:50:50 AM
dad2stay, I think you should go into full time counselling. I hope he has learnt from you. Apart from parents, in every situation children come first whether it be war time or peace time. Any man who moan about being a doormat because of that has issues with self esteem and should seek help. once again well done for your contributions.
 Magina314
Joined: 1/9/2011
Msg: 132
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/20/2011 6:55:57 PM
I've actually been in a relationship with a single mother, although her child must have been in custody or been cared for by the father because he was neither at home nor with her. I would do it again, but I don't know if I would feel comfortable.

It's about the comfort zone, I think. TRYING not to get off topic, but you don't just decide one day that you're going to have a three-some and then go find your prey, no no. It's usually something that springs up on you, so to speak. Again, comfort zone.
 56Jr56
Joined: 8/29/2011
Msg: 133
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2011 11:02:01 AM
Being 20, I would date a women with a child. The child has nothing to do with a connection. If I get to know you and like you as a person, I would have no problem being in a childs life. If you show a man you are fine with your child and in no way show you need a crutch, we respect that more. I actually look for things like, if a women is on a career path, has a child, ect. To see if she is responsible not all young adults are partying or clubbing.
 DrumminD
Joined: 2/3/2011
Msg: 134
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2011 2:14:37 PM
What's with all the controversy over "baggage?" It may be unfair to the child to refer to it as such, but when guys are selecting mates, that is what they view it as. A guy prefers to date a woman that is childless, and has since the beginning of time. He wants to take care of his babies (or maybe not even those) and not someone else's. Considering you dated a guy that didn't even want to take care of his OWN child, does it surprise you guys don't want to take care of someone else's? You are going to have to change your expectations about who you pursue. There's the "alpha" males, who try to bang as many hot chicks as they can. Those guys are now off limits to you. You have to pursue the "beta" males, which are men looking to settle down and raise children and be monogamous and such. I would suggest older males, because they want young women, and will overlook the fact you have a child to get to your young hotness.
 Magina314
Joined: 1/9/2011
Msg: 135
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2011 2:37:45 PM
What I don't understand is where the hell did all of the fathers go? If your childs' deadbeat father left you stranded, why are you eagerly seeking out another? Did you FIND your childs' deadbeat father on an online dating website? Have you CLUED in yet as to why that may or may not be the best decision making you've ever done? (And i'm leaning on may not)

I don't know what to say, I personally believe that Single mothers made a decision, and if they truely care for their child "more than anything in the world" that should be it. No more decision making for you. Live a single life and make it on your own, after all, your child should be the one you're caring for. After all, we're (the guys who haven't donated their sperm inside an egg) not guilty of abandoning our woman.

I seriously..don't know what to say. If it didn't work out the first time, I'm under the general assumption that it won't work out the second time. Miracles just don't happen. But you can start a new cycle, by teaching your sons the correct way to treat a lady - because the men in society are only going to change based on how they're raised by their mothers.

So sorry to come down like an arrogant ***hole, but I said what I believe you should hear.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 136
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2011 6:33:13 PM

If your childs' deadbeat father left you stranded, why are you eagerly seeking out another?


Seriously? Because having someone to have an adult relationship with, as well as sex, companionship, and a family, is a nice thing to have, duhhhhh.




I personally believe that Single mothers made a decision,


I made a decision to have children, not to be a lonely old asexual nun. I am a widow; i did not make the decision to be "stranded with 2 kids". Ewwwww, no thanks. If i thiught the way you do, i would have never been blessed with a marriage, another child, and the wonderful boyfriend i have now


and if they truely care for their child "more than anything in the world" that should be it.


Please give me an example of how i dont care for MY children, because i enjoy male companionship.


No more decision making for you.

LMAO. As a grown adult who runs a household, raises 2 children, owns a business, manages the day to day family life & the family activities, and sits on the PTA & Student Advisory Council, who the heck is going to make decisions if i dont? My entire world & my home & family is dependant on my making decisions.





Live a single life and make it on your own, after all, your child should be the one you're caring for.

My children are very well cared for, & very fortunate. Despite me being "not single", and i know more than well enough how to make it on my own, regardless of relationship status.




After all, we're (the guys who haven't donated their sperm inside an egg) not guilty of abandoning our woman.


Dont really care what you have done, or not done, with your sperm.
 TheIslandGoddess
Joined: 11/21/2009
Msg: 137
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2011 7:21:26 PM

I'm 22 and a single mom of a 2 year old. My son's dad left while I was pregnant. That's beside the point. It seems like most guys I meet want nothing to do with a girl who has a child. What are they afraid of? I can have the best connection with someone and the second I tell them about my son, they lose interest. Are they immature? Worried about my lack of freedom/spontaneity? Are they scared of a possible commitment to that child? I don't expect them to become instant Father. Anybody have opinions on this?


Hey honey, I was a single mom at 22 and I had PLENTY of men to date. I'm not saying this to brag, I'm saying this because I used to feel the way you do now. Once I let go of that 'do not date' feeling and focused on everything I bring to the table, I became magnetic to men.

There are men who do not want children (or don't want them yet). Don't feel rejected, they are not the ones for you. It's just their personal preference.

Now, just focus on everything you bring to a relationship and how lucky a man would be to have your love and attention. Own it. Feel it. Live it. Breathe it. Think of all the things that build your confidence. Then you will be magnetic to the RIGHT man...others will fall away.

Stay strong beautiful!
 itsjustme1112
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 138
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2011 11:13:55 PM
Don't pay attention to the negative... I am proud to say I am a mother of 2.... And people assume that we didnt want kids but most don't know the story..... mine was planned on his side as well as mine. Maybe yours was too for good reason?
Most do not understand that we as mothers do not regret anything about our children... maybe how it happened but we do not regret our babies.
There will be bashing in this but I can tell you now....even with 2 kids, I have had absolutely no problem getting a date.... EVEN with my son being special needs....

I really hope the best in luck with your search and I am certain as a strong mother and woman, you will succeed

Allah Hafiz,
Aicha
 allintime1987
Joined: 9/14/2010
Msg: 139
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/22/2011 10:06:05 AM
Yeah, I totally know where you're coming from with this!It is possible to hook a guy and have a fantastic relationship with a man and even them having a fathering relationship with you're child later on, but more often than not it's not. As mothers we feel bad about pursuing relationships after having children because we don't want the uggh of introducing them to a new Mr. right now everytime we get a date. I found a truly wonderful man, who loved me and loved my son and I thought wow I am lucky! We got married and had what I thought was bliss until we got pregnant with my second son and as soon as he was born you saw a change. Love so much love he had for his real son and the differences in the way he treated the boys was unreal and finally out it came, He is your son not mine, this one is mine. I loved this man I still do and it hurts being seperated, but my children need me for more than emotional support and other wifely responsibilities, their survival is on me. In my opinion a man can never fully commit to a woman and her existing child and I understand that, but i don't get it. I babysat 3 kids from the time they were small one was a new infant and I kept them well into their school yearsand I formed a loving motherly bond with them, I would have died for them, but women are different we can build relationships where men can't. I will be hardpressed to change my mind about this. So after this being said you can expect your fairytale but be prepared for the brothers Grimm version more so than the Hans Christian Anderson! Good luck! If it works out for you let me know especially if he has a brother lol!
 allintime1987
Joined: 9/14/2010
Msg: 140
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/22/2011 10:33:00 AM
I'm not trying to sound rude or menstrual, but did you have mommy issues? If I meet a man farther into my life after having children, I would have them as an equal but damnit you are an adult male by the way you can wipe yourself and hopefully sleep at night after watching a George Romero film. As for the majority of girls especially the southern ones motherhood is an instilled trait its all we want and strive for having the man is a bonus. I believe in not making a new partner a doormat and making them an equally loved family member but I spent many months of my life face down in whatever could catch my puke and I broke my junk pushing my children out and in that horrific pain I was never mad at them or blamed them in anyway. You know when you have children you just reduced yourself to maid, chef, driver, doctor, laundress, friend, enemy and any other role your child creates for at least forever. The door rarely swings both ways. When you find your partner their should hopefully be an equal balance in all aspects, that door better swing or else you just became a doormat. Lastly all mothers would agree with me in disaster I will do everything in my power to save everyone but if I couldn't. I love you always will, I might never find someone else and I will probably cry everynight and have to get put on prozac but your behind is grass, i'm getting my babies even if I die in the process.
 itsjustme1112
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 141
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:29:42 AM
Well I know I agree with that
 allintime1987
Joined: 9/14/2010
Msg: 142
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:41:45 AM
thank you i'm not anal I just love my kids
 cutiecaliente
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 143
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:00:13 PM
meet men who are older...men your age...can not even take care of themselves..
let's be honest...they want to party and travel...
i have gone through that....
remember your child is your first priority....
do not settle ... youwill meet somebody
lead your own life
 ShadowschildA
Joined: 10/17/2011
Msg: 144
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/25/2011 10:13:27 AM
I would not want to date a single mother because of the EX.

Secretly women wish their ex's would come back so they can be a proper family. Meaning there is the very real risk of her sleeping with him to achieve this goal. Her heart will secretly belong to him until the child becomes an adult. I would feel like a temporary, disposable wallet.

The ex can start causing you problems (braking your car windows, threats, physical harm). This happened to my neighbor & it got ugly.

She will not have much time to spend with you & every time you leave the house she has to find someone to babysit.

If you get her pregnant again, its like having twins.
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 145
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/25/2011 10:16:10 AM

Secretly women wish their ex's would come back so they can be a proper family. Meaning there is the very real risk of her sleeping with him to achieve this goal. Her heart will secretly belong to him until the child becomes an adult. I would feel like a temporary, disposable wallet.


I don't wish that my ex would come back. I left him; not the other way around. I do however hope that he gets stranded alone on a deserted island... LOL
 huckaflow
Joined: 8/23/2011
Msg: 146
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/25/2011 3:41:43 PM
You know, I have no clue why guys r like that but if you ask me, I would say if a guy becomes less interested just cus u have a son they are young an immature cus that simply just means that they have no intentions on settling down but me on the other hand am looking for just that.
if your interested in a pick of me your best bet would b to go to my website WWW.huckaflownation.com invade your wondering I'm a business owed of three years now and am looking to settle.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 148
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/25/2011 6:34:39 PM
Msg.#21

Your argument is moot , the case of Iceman and the OP is way different..Iceman is not a single dad of a 2 years old posing with his child and looking for a exclusive date/marriage /whatever... As a man he has a point on a young girl posting a picture with his 2 years old son on her profile. I am a woman and I can sense the message what OP is conveying, I need a good man to love me and my child but my child is the priority in my life. Or I need a man to support us ,because diapers are too expensive ect..ect.. that picture with her child is sweet, but she is putting herself in a pityful level( with a toddler ,) I think that is what Iceman meant ... but I could be wrong.

Iceman may have a 20 pictures of his godchildren/nieces/nephews posted on his profile, women's attention is totally still on him, because he has an aura of uncomplicated, persona..
A child is a blessing to those who can afford the needs of a child , what is sad is why bring a child to this world if s/he suffer of lack...

^^^^^ yes our self is a heavy baggage to carry ,why in the world ,would we want an extra baggage.. If I am a single mom ,I would concentrate on raising my child and not looking for a man to date, that money that I will spend, when its my turned to buy him dinner or a gift . I would rather spent it on my child...

But it depends, there are people who wants a ready made family , I hope the OP is lucky to find one.
 Cableguy84
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 149
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/26/2011 2:11:15 PM
In my opinion if the fact that you have a child instantly scares a man off then he is in no way mature enough to handle a real relationship. Personally I have no problem with dating a mother, because it means that she is, on most cases, more grounded and mature and able to commit to a lasting relationship. Not looking for the next big thrill, but rather for someone who can be a role model for the child, and a support for her.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 150
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/26/2011 4:18:05 PM

In my opinion if the fact that you have a child instantly scares a man off then he is in no way mature enough to handle a real relationship.


I have no problem myself with anyone who does not want to date a custodial parent.....and simply see it as a personal choice ...after all personal choice is what we always advocate for is it not?

The right to choose who and what we want or wish for...and nothing should be suggested about those who choose not to date or to date single mothers.
 Cassiegrl77
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 151
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/26/2011 4:34:53 PM

I would not want to date a single mother because of the EX.

Secretly women wish their ex's would come back so they can be a proper family. Meaning there is the very real risk of her sleeping with him to achieve this goal. Her heart will secretly belong to him until the child becomes an adult. I would feel like a temporary, disposable wallet.


That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. Wow.
Of course I can only speak for myself and my personal experience, but I can tell you that:
1--I haven't seen my oldest son's father in over 11 years and hopefully, that pattern continues (he is THE definition of a dead beat).
2-I met my first husband when my son was two weeks old.(he will be 12 next week) We have a son together.(he will be 11 in May) Although we are divorced now and have a decent friendship, I can honestly say that my heart most certainly does not "secretly belong to him". lol
3-To answer the OP, YES there are great men out there who DO date and have seriously relationships with single mothers, they even marry them. After my second divorce (haha, I know you all are gonna have a field day with this one) my ex met a girl with a 9 month old baby. Well actually, he cheated on me with her...but still, they have been together for 2 years now.
Having a kid or not having a kid shouldn't matter if there is a real connection.
If a man doesn't want to date you because you have a child (or more than one child) then he's not worth your time.
Unfortunately for me, after my youngest was born, I had my tubes tied. I assumed my first marriage would be my last. No one ever assumes that they will eventually get divorced. So that limits my dating because there are many men out there who want children of their own or would like more children of their own and I cannot do that. My situation may be slightly unique, but I don't have trouble finding dates at all.
Stay strong. There's someone out there for everyone. Sometimes it just takes awhile.
Best of Luck to you!
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