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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Do guys actually date single mothers?      Home login  
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 ShadowschildA
Joined: 10/17/2011
Msg: 99
Do guys actually date single mothers?Page 6 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I personally see single mothers as be irresponsible with their choice in men. Open those legs for the bad boys & get the nice guys to fix the problem later, if any.

A child without a father is going to grow up all screwed up, id rather find a woman without a kid and spend my money/time rearing my own seed. Thats how the majority of men think, though most would prefer not to say it publicly.
 Brianf350
Joined: 7/28/2011
Msg: 100
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 12/23/2011 6:56:14 PM
Yes actually i myself would rather date a single mother because i am a single dad and they understand what it takes. I have a hard time finding a woman who would date a single dad. I work hard and know what i want out of life but i think it goes both ways. People look at a child of a single parent and they get scared away.
 Jason0037
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 101
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 1/14/2012 6:45:46 AM
I don't have a problem dating a single mother. Not in the slightest. It's just the sentiment isn't always reciprocated when they find out I'm a single father. At least that has been my experience thus far. Still optimistic that eventually this will change. All I can say to the OP is keep your chin up, and stay positive.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 102
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 1/15/2012 11:29:02 PM

And what I want to know is why its baggage for a female but when its a man its awe how cute or what a great guy.

I'm guessing because it's generally more of a battle for custody for men, while with women, they just get knocked up by some guy that wasn't really interested in having kids in the first place. At least, that seems to be the stigma.



You know its really easy to see why your single.

Go on....
 HiFiHeart
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 103
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 1/16/2012 2:47:16 AM
I'm 22 and I'm attracted to single moms. I'm good friends with a few and know how tough it is on them especially to break away from their child to get back into the dating game. Just keep looking, and try not to have too high expectations. Something that may draw some men away is if they want children of their own. I want 2-3 myself and before I'd even consider taking a huge step with someone they would have to feel the same way. If they already have one child are they going to want to have 2 more? Just some of the things I think about.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 104
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 1/16/2012 8:37:13 AM
re: msg nr. 256. You sound like a good guy. I'm 53 raising an 11 yr old. I love it. I pretty much only date single mothers or in my case grandmas. LOL. I enjoy my dates and interacting with the kids. 2 things REALLY piss me off about this site:
1. HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOT BAGGAGE.
2. When some disgruntled 45 yr old grandparent treats me like a social leper because I'm a responsible DAD I just cringe.
 SummeD24
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 105
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 1/21/2012 2:46:25 PM
I have a 3 year old and a 2 year old. My kids dad left when I was pregnant with my second he couldnt handle it all and im not gonna say i can i work full time plus 2 kids it gets very difficult at times just would be better if you had that special person by your side
 repeat4u
Joined: 3/27/2009
Msg: 106
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 1/21/2012 3:25:45 PM
Hello Jess. I just read your subject and let me say that if when you meet a guy and he backs off when you tell you tell him you have a son, then know this! You are better off not getting involved with him.
 Kpapa87
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 107
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 1/25/2012 3:37:33 AM
I don't date single mothers anymore for a few reasons. The first reason is my work schedule of working 3 rotating shifts in a week makes it hard to date someone without kids much less someone who needs to have a babysitter and has a tight schedule. Also in my experiences of dating single mothers is they want me to get involved with their kids right away and want to bring them on dates which I don't feel comfortable with. I try to be respectful and tell them I don't mind if you have kids but I want to get to know you and establish a connection before I'm in your kids life because if it doesn't work out I don't want the kid to get hurt. Also bringing kids on a date is fine if your established but my experiences have been them taking their kids out and myself being put on the backburner because they are constantly having to correct their kids or tend to them. I know that sounds childish but if its your first or second date why would I wanna see you again.

Thats why my preference now and forever will be someone without any kids because I haven't been able to establish a connection with single mothers.
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 108
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 1/30/2012 9:31:36 PM
You must be putting out vibes of needing a man..And your scaring them.

Like this right here:
I don't expect them to become instant Father.
So you expect them to be a father later on?

Let the man get to know you, then if you guys take your relationship further then the kids come into the picture, but you have to get to know the man first, it seems your bringing your child into the relationship way too early. Let him get to know you first, as a person, a woman, a confident woman. Not just a mother.

Believe me men do date women with kids.
 TNHandyman
Joined: 8/20/2005
Msg: 109
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 1/30/2012 10:05:26 PM
Personally I would love to date a single mother and show her a great time. Age is not an issue with me for a date and if I had to be introduced as "a date" for a younger woman I wouldn't mind, but would rather just be told I'm her eschort for the night. A woman who has a child is more serious about life and has the responsibilities of a parent. That said, I think a woman would be looking for friendship first and a long term relationship second. Protection of her children should be a great concern and the question of wheather this date would relate well with my child would be a concern. as far as putting out vibes i say go for it girl! You have alot more at stake then just your life and if the guy does not understandf that then move on.

best of luck
Jim
 Things_happen_4a_reason
Joined: 2/26/2011
Msg: 110
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 2/1/2012 5:40:21 AM
hi jessrose, im a single mom myself but hey life is wonderful! you can do better than all these shallow men. i tell you, just focuse your mind to your kid, take him out and have fun. Happiness comes from all different forms. Doesnt have to be from men. I was like you before. But finally i woke up to myself and realise, life and happiness isnt about having a man in life. I found the true happiness with my kid. I use to chase love but i realise,the more you chase it, the harder you find it. Just take it easy :) Someday you will find the right guy, youre still young and beautiful and smart. You have all the good opportunity waiting for you. If you need a friend, i can be your friend.
OK to make you feel alot better........ what ive been thru is a lot worser than yours. So consider yourself lucky! :)
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 111
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 2/1/2012 4:53:13 PM

hi jessrose, im a single mom myself but hey life is wonderful! you can do better than all these shallow men.


Perhaps we can define shallow men? Then we can also look at the profile of the guys you deem shallow...and then compare with the plethora of single mothers...the OP...young but seems to hold down a job....as opposed to a single mid 30's mother who still is a student?


I like to see nice places in Sydney.
I want to feel young again. Want to do allot of things and explore the world.


I like to see new things...and I look towards travel as something I would like to do more of...but then when one pays for it with their own money...from their own efforts in employment...it can be less than what one wants?


I found the true happiness with my kid.


So who is the adult...and have one ever heard of living their life through their children...and when they grow up and break free...you will I suggest have a great hole?

I remember being mid 20's and the last thing I wanted was to be saddled or restricted by dating a single mother with children....even worse a single mother with no job and little to no career potential.

Now we have full justice as some woman have easily suggested they will not date a full time custodial father who has mid teens as they went through that already and do not want to backwards in life...something I can easily understand....now a difference would be I seemingly have proof financial support is not required by anyone dating me...as I would suggest the same is not true for 50% of custodial mothers.
 Things_happen_4a_reason
Joined: 2/26/2011
Msg: 112
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 2/1/2012 5:57:46 PM
easy for you to judge eh? this forum isnt about how you see me as a single mom or how you judge my status. You dont know me, i dont know you, so how about you separate your opinion about me and just focus on what jessrose needs in this forum?

Ignorance make you look stupid. Ok i will educate you then, when a person just arrived in YOUR country, no matter how educated he/she was or his/her position from her country she came from.. that person has to establish her career here in Australia. He/she has to start from scratch, that means he/she has to further her/his study to get a Certificate or Diploma. People in 30's and still studying doesnt mean they are stupid, they want to be somebody.

Now if you got nothing good to say, why not just shut the mouth instead of criticising people?

After all, this forum isnt about you or me. Lets just help jessrose to feel better. Cos im not here to argue with narrow minded people like you.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 113
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 2/1/2012 6:40:03 PM
I would never suggest someone who is advancing themself as being stupid?

But then equally I would not suggest someone as shallow because they choose not to date someone who has responsibilities...be it a young guy with no interest in a ready made family...or a more mature woman who will not date a single father because she has already done her parenting and does not want to go there again?

As to starting from scratch there are many people who have done that. Something one can be commended for..and not an easy thing to do. Some do it on their own effort and others do it expecting or accepting free handouts.

As to Jess....a very good looking woman who at 22 has now financial responsibilities and family responsibilities...and unlike allot of single mothers...does appear to be doing the financial requirements on her own?

But when I was mid 20's....not something I would have wanted to get involved in...as I did not want ready made family...and I had my own ideas of settling down and having a family when I was financially capable.

Now take Jess...and take her forward 20 years...her child leaving home....would she then date a guy who had preschool children who had custody? maybe she would...maybe she would prefer someone who was in a similar situation of her as being an empty nester or having children in university...

And if she was of that mind...I doubt I would suggest her ???how was it that you put it...SHALLOW?

She was simply exercising her choice of what she wanted and what she did not want.

Something that equally single guys age 22--to --28 are entitled to without being called shallow or immature.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 114
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 2/3/2012 9:47:28 AM

Now this is precious coming from a single mom..

Gotta agree with SmilinRock. A guy is a "loser" because he doesn't want to saddle himself with someone else's kids? LOL. I don't think it has anything to do with being 'scared' and everything to do with simply not wanting any part of a set up like that.
 peakbagger7
Joined: 5/31/2010
Msg: 115
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 2/4/2012 10:28:01 PM

I personally see single mothers as be irresponsible with their choice in men. Open those legs for the bad boys & get the nice guys to fix the problem later, if any.


100% Correct

Remember guys, you date a single mom you are Plan B or even Plan C or D
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 116
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 2/5/2012 6:07:47 AM
Ontariowoman...perhaps what you define as serious committed relationship differs from others....under 25....children from 2 different fathers.....does not inspire serious committed relationships.....as opposed to easy uncommitted rolls in the hay.

I always did attribute committed serious relationships as requiring a few years of development and effort before one could suggest commitment...or one could claim serious relationship enough to consider planning and following through with children...as children are a life time of responsibility....yet some it seems consider the few months as sufficient to define or qualify as a committed relationship?

Perhaps the problems for many women are reading to many romance novels?
 CarKam1
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 117
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 2/9/2012 6:23:06 AM
Well said Ontario :)
 0gental1
Joined: 5/23/2010
Msg: 118
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 2/10/2012 5:26:17 PM
Sweetheart guys will date you kid or not, it depends on the guy. Some will like you and then see the challenge and responsibility a child or children brings to the table. I am not saying this is a bad thing. Some guys are able to deal with it but get scared because they rushed it. Some feel it’s a responsibility issue they may have to take care of you money wise. Show them your independent and that even if a guy doesn’t want to date you with a child. You are sure to be fine and be happy tell he comes around. Confident is what you have to be and what matters. Also don’t ever explain how the Childs dad left him it may scare a man to think your looking for a baby daddy. I say this b/c I am divorced with 3 kids. I am very picky and never bring a man around my kids unless it’s friendship first and I get to know them aside from my kids. Good luck and I hope this advice helped.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 119
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 2/12/2012 7:07:25 AM
I love it when woman stand on the pulpit and cry about owning up to responsibility.....and when one see's and hears part time employment....while raising children...no employment....where is the responsibility to themselves and their children....looking for someone else to assume it?


However, we do have a problem with people who choose to bash us, stereotype us and claim that we are not dating or relationship material.

Everyone has their preferences, but there is no need to bash people who do not fit those preferences. I prefer dating single fathers, but I don't bash men without children and imply that there is something wrong with them.

Having preferences doesn't exempt people from having to behave decently towards others."

THANK YOU ONTARIO_WOMAN


Hey X...I have no issue with single mothers...and I never stereotype all single mothers as the same....I have children...I have financial responsibility and emotional responsiblities from those children and an ex who feels that as a man I am the one who is supposed to be financially responsible for those children....but like the majority of single custodial fathers,,,I am employed full time....and I have and are having the time of my life without regrets and without a sense that I am owed something more. In fact…I have often suggested that for many mid 40’s woman I am not a good dating prospect when they already have seen their children pass 18…and they have more time on their hands in which to travel…to do things….what was funny…one objected to my profile where I prefer dating partners who are employed…as I know longer want further to financial support someone.

The census reports 50% of custodial mothers work full time...or do not work full time....a big number when looking at dating a single mother....and being responsible and prudent when understanding they may be assuming a financial requirement of supporting that single mother and her children. That is not a stereotype…that is factual.

Wh.....baggage....liabilities...financial drain...who cares what someone else will look at the children as....your children require your emotional and financial support...along with the father if...he is in the picture...and will continue to be in the picture...you..as a student...there is no guarantee you will finish...if you will find employment...so anyone can suggest baggage...encumbrances...inconveniences.....or a single mother without employment and with children as potentially to costly and a financial risk or liability.

After all age 22...I was not looking for dating partners where the anchor was already in place......One could easily suggest that for many......you are not worth their time and financial effort as well....Because equal considerations are required both ways? But then with the diminished dating pool some will never look at this as a problem either?
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 120
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 2/16/2012 5:32:20 AM
This may be hard to grasp Calypso, but he wasn't talking specifically about YOU. You are just 1 particular instance amongst many.

For instance 82% of all teen pregnancy is unplanned, and 20% of all unplanned pregnancies is from teens. 56% of unplanned teen pregnancies ended in birth.



<div class="quote">I have heard many (single mothers) say the child's father is an ass, immature, drunk , abusive and so on -- did you not see this in him from the beginning ?

To add to this, only about 20% of teen males would actually be pleased if they got someone pregnant. Too bad "my body, my choice," overrides his feelings. IMO, it's completely reckless to bear the child of a knowingly unwilling father. And people (men and women) love to sling such venomous rhetoric at these guys, and yet, somehow they were still somehow considered fitting to be parents, and "live up to their responsibilities."

I always wonder what it would be like if we lived in a society where BOTH parents were willing to have children WITH EACH OTHER at a time in their lives when BOTH of them were mentally, emotionally, AND financially ready for child rearing.



http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-ATSRH.html
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 121
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Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 2/16/2012 4:03:34 PM

Sex education works wonders.

Application of said sex education is where the wonders work in. As they said in G.I. Joe, "Knowing is HALF the battle." I don't know what the k-12 system is like nowadays, but I was taught sex ed in the 5th grade, so it's not like these teens aren't in the know.


I am also fed up with being stereotyped therefore I CHOOSE to share the difference.

I'm pretty sure that everyone knows that there is pretty much nothing in regard to human behavior that is 100% intrinsic. This should go without saying. Of course there are people like you who are part of the "not all" police that lurk these forums.

You sharing the difference isn't going to take away from the large numbers of single mothers that got into the predicaments they got into via a series of bad choices, as well as the repercussions of those choices. We live in a society where people are assumed guilt until proven innocent. The court systems we have may have indoctrinated otherwise, but it just doesn't work that way. I mean there are still millions of people that found OJ Simpson to be a killer and Michael Jackson to be a child molester despite some -very- extensive court trials.

That alone is one of the big reasons why men distance themselves from single mothers. They have already associated stigmas to you, and A LOT of valid evidence (not just your personal anecdote; you should look up "hasty generalization fallacy") that backs it. You can argue for your case until you're blue in the face, but that won't change anything. And then of course, there are all the other difficulties of dating a mother, that have been iterated and reiterated ad nauseum.


Actually he made that choice sleeping with her so his choice was there.

She made the same choice to have sex. However, she made the -only- choice when it came to keeping it. So she doesn't get to cry foul if/when he becomes yet another deadbeat that disappears and doesn't pay child support while she has to completely change her way of life, and he goes back to normalcy. Roger that.



It happens as per my view as I demonstrated.

It doesn't happen NEARLY enough.
 zozzo
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 122
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 2/26/2012 10:57:48 AM
I am *only* interested in a relationship with a woman with a kid(s). I feel too old to have my own, but I love being a father so the solution is to look for someone who's ex is absent or uninvolved. I think age has a lot to do with it. Lots of younger guys don't care much about family-type activities like coaching soccer, teaching kids to swim, etc.
 Dark_Discovery
Joined: 1/24/2012
Msg: 123
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 2/26/2012 12:01:48 PM
I would HAPPILY date a single mom
but my only problem is that i don't meet the RIGHT kind of single mom
alot of women are really dishonest and cruel down to a T
especially if they still act childish and they have a kid already

i'm not bashing anyone
but i would definitely love to date a single mom again
i just hope that the next one that comes around will actually appreciate a person who gives them respect and wants to have as much fun as possible with BOTH the mom and the child istead of just one
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