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 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 127
Is she lying or am I overanalyzingPage 7 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
There was no need to snoop.Obviously she was getting done by somebody else,what else do you need to know?Exactly what kind of sex they had?
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 128
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/26/2011 6:43:54 PM

Jill threw Pinocchio down the hill and came tumbling after. She likes it when HE lies to her. Exclaiming............ "Over-analyze this!!!"

I think she was saying, "Lie to me! LIE TO ME!!!!! Lie to me louder!!!"

Im thinking Pinocchio was one of those metro sexual guys and he might be been doing Geppetto? I could be wrong

HA!!!

@Iceman: They probably have a movie like that at the adult bookstore. A porno version of Disney and fairytales.

Ok, so I actually looked and yep ~ there are porn versions of Disney and fairytales. But when I was looking, I ran across some funnnnnnny names of porn.

Shaving Ryan's Privates
Batman in Robin
Blowjob Impossible
Dyke Hard
Star Whores
Sorest Rump
Saturday Night Beaver
Sick Degrees of Penetration
Romancing The Bone
White Men Can't Hump
Spankenstein
Breast Side Story
Sperms of Enderarment
Free My Willy
Sperminator

Oh dear me. There were some others that I sorted out, just a tad toooooo out there for POF I think. (Thanks you guys ~ I needed a giggle today. Funnnneeeeeeee stuff!!!)

~OT~ Even when I knew my former was, indeed cheating, I still did NOT look through his things, not his phone, not his computer, not his papers or mail. That just felt wrong to me. I had and still have access to his cell bill (we opted to keep our phones together until the contract runs out) and I to this very day have not once looked to see numbers he dials. It just makes me feel like I'd be lowering myself to do things such as that. To each their own, I still maintain if you want to find something you'll find something. You very well may be wrong in your assessment of what you think you find ~ but if that's your ilk and how you operate? Maybe it's best you think you find something. I think snoopy people should pair up with other snoopy people. Leaves them out of the main stream dating pool that way. But that's just how I see it.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 129
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/27/2011 3:57:44 PM


(WinterwithFlowers) Only people who are liars say this. Truth is, some people do not lie. But, people who think lying is normal and 'everyone does it' never believe that.


(Cdn_Iceman) You know I think you're cool and agree with most things you say , but this time I don't agree, I agree with Basiate, every one lies ,it depends on the degree of the lie, or omission of the truth etc, every one does, we can be as honest as possible.


She made reference to people defining "social lubricant" as lying. FWIW, I think a little diplomacy and tact in human relations is not lying.


I think any one that demands 100% honesty is out to lunch or a sociopath.


I kinda agree: I don't think ANY relationship can withstand total honesty, all the time. But, most reasonably well-put-together people who don't make a rattling noise when they shake their heads, know the difference between a lie worth having kittens over, versus a lie that's not worth making a production over...

Arlo...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 130
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/27/2011 4:03:14 PM


Personally I wouldn't have snooped, if I have doubts about a girl and I ask and get an answer that just doesn't seem honest I stop dating them, period


(mikewm) I have to admit I actually cant buy into that extreme either,


I don't see how that qualifies as "extreme": some people can put up with having a partner whom they doubt (some people just THRIVE on that sort of ongoing uncertainty). It's not "extreme" to know what y0u want, and being unwilling to accept anything that you see as less than that; it's having different tastes, is all...

Arlo...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 131
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/27/2011 4:16:06 PM

(Nubianagent1) (to Revilors, but I felt like sticking my nose in) ... are you at all familiar with debating by analogy, comparison or illustration, and/or indirectly attacking the underlying principle of a position as a means to discredit the position?


Are you aware that human relations can rarely, if ever, be subjected to the rules of Parliamentary debate, and dissected with logic the way a Grade 9 Biology student dissects a frog? You can't debate your way into a relationship.

That said, I pretty much agree with your position.

Arlo...
 VirtuallyLove
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 132
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/28/2011 9:31:38 AM
I feel a lot of POFers here are being too cynical about your situation in leaping to the conclusion that your girlfriend is a liar or skank or whatever. Let me share a personal story to illustrate why I think they may be unfairly judging her.

In a previous relationship, my gf often showed up late at my place with what appeared to be hickeys on her neck and even sometimes on her breasts and stomach. Naturally, I was a bit suspicious, since I knew she'd just come from visiting a guy-friend of hers (though she assured me theirs was a platonic relationship). But after she explained how he was a pet-lover, and that some of his many pets (cats, chinchilla, rat, gerbil) loved to bite her because they were being territorial and jealous, I gave up my suspicions and believed my love. The truth of her story was further confirmed when I showed up at her guy-friend's place unannounced and found her dressed in protective leather holding a whip (to help fend off her platonic guy-friend's many voracious pets!).

So I'm just saying that sometimes what appears to be damning evidence can easily be explained.
 semi_sane_jane
Joined: 3/10/2011
Msg: 133
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/28/2011 10:57:45 AM
^^ I'll agree, things aren't always what they seem, so people do have to be careful not to jump to conclusions. But this girl lied about going out with her friend, then lied and said she was on a date, but her friend was along, before she finally came clean and admitted she had simply gone on a date. Her credibility is shot, in my book. Especially since there was no real need for her to lie about it in the first place. Why be shady when you're really not doing anything wrong?
 tigerspawn
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 134
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/29/2011 12:43:39 AM
obviously you dont trust her or you wouldnt be snooping. Sounds like she has given you reasons not to trust her. I would walk away before you get in any deeper. Sleeping with someone on the first date is usually a pattern. Do you really believe that you were so awesome that she just couldnt wait to have you? Its more likely that she loves to have sex. If she slept with you on the first date than she probably slept with the other guy too and Lord knows who else.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 135
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/29/2011 8:59:48 AM

obviously you dont trust her or you wouldnt be snooping. Sounds like she has given you reasons not to trust her. I would walk away before you get in any deeper. Sleeping with someone on the first date is usually a pattern. Do you really believe that you were so awesome that she just couldnt wait to have you? Its more likely that she loves to have sex. If she slept with you on the first date than she probably slept with the other guy too and Lord knows who else.


Unless this took place somewhere within the rabbit hole...OP slept with her on the first date too. Are we suppose to believe that SHE was so awesome that he just couldn't wait to have her? Kind of a hypocritical point of view.

Forged from the same Ferromagnetic metal...does that make them magnets with polar ends aligned to repel.......or attract? Kindred spirits?
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 136
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/29/2011 9:13:35 AM
This lady is not ready for a relationship. Why would you consider yourself a couple? She is still dating others. The story she said about the bite mark on her neck is ridiciulos! Do you really believe that? If you stay w/this lady, you will be geting more of the same. Keep dating untl you meet a nice lady who wants the same thing you want.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 137
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/29/2011 1:00:39 PM

sex is precious to some women while to others its just a walk in the park.

truer words were never posted on here

OP doesn't know this woman well enough to determine which type of woman she is. Her actions tell one thing, but he wants to believe something else...
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 138
view profile
History
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/29/2011 7:57:41 PM
" OP doesn't know this woman well enough to determine which type of woman she is. Her actions tell one thing, but he wants to believe something else..."

On top of that, her words and her actions don't match. Talk is cheap. Action speaks louder than words. It's always easy to talk or b.s., but your true self shows through your actions.

Lack of communication early on probably contributed greatly to this problem and pretty much everything from the get go.
 christyis4real
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 139
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/29/2011 8:10:19 PM
Sublime, if you don't trust her now...will you EVER trust her in the future? I don't think so. You will always hold it against her, and you will always go back to that day thinking about how and why she lied to you. Best thing for you to do is break it off now before ya'll go any further and get even more attached. Just my opinion.
 maxp813
Joined: 12/11/2010
Msg: 140
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/29/2011 10:20:55 PM
Most of women I meet online are full of it.They want to be hoes without being treated like one is pretty much what it comes down to.Alot of women nomatter how good you treat them or how much of a good time you have when your with them they still want to keep playing the field.I grass is allways greener or they just enjoy the attention.Its verey dificult to find a woman that wants to treat you as good as you treat them.It seems good women are getting harder to come across these days.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 141
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/29/2011 10:41:40 PM

Most of women I meet online are full of it.They want to be hoes without being treated like one is pretty much what it comes down to.Alot of women nomatter how good you treat them or how much of a good time you have when your with them they still want to keep playing the field.I grass is allways greener or they just enjoy the attention.Its verey dificult to find a woman that wants to treat you as good as you treat them.It seems good women are getting harder to come across these days.
This is a sad commentary, It truly is so you blame the women online ? perhaps if you upgrade your choice of women, Im betting you are going after the hot diva gold digger type that looks good in a mini skirt? I bet you dismiss the ones that are a bit over weight but has a dynamite personality and since you're not physically attracted to them to too bad so sad right? and you curse the women that are hot for not giving guys like you a chance?
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 142
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/30/2011 11:52:01 AM


(AT) Arlo_Troutman: Are you aware that human relations can rarely, if ever, be subjected to the rules of Parliamentary debate, and dissected with logic the way a Grade 9 Biology student dissects a frog? You can't debate your way into a relationship.


(Nubianagent1) Um, with all due respect, what the hell are you talking about?


*shrug* I'm talkin' 'bout you taking Revilors to task for his argumentation, with a side-dish of your irrelevant demands for adherence to... well, you undoubtedly think it's "logic", but the rest of us...


Your comment is completely irrelevant to my statement, let alone the point I was actually making; which was, quite simply, that in my view, Revilors was taking my argument literally, and seemed unable to grasp the points I was making, through my use of "indirect" logic.





That said, I give you points for at least coming down on the right side of the issue.


You must be new here. I'm *ALWAYS* right. When people agree with me, they, too, are right.

Sheesh... what a n00b...

Arlo...
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 143
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/30/2011 12:44:09 PM

I'm actually a bit surprised to see some people saying he shouldnt have snooped really though, especially as it turned out he was right, not snooping it and just dismissing it as his own silliness could have meant he could end up having an LTR with a chronic liar. So how is that "better"?

Exactly. I'm kinda surprised, too. It was a month and a half in -- and they spent whole weekends together, too. If you spend a lot of time together, there may not be an "official" exclusivity label on things, but that's a judgement call as to whether it's by default or not, or close to it. From the sounds of it, it sounds like even though it may not have been a situation where she'd be "Cheating" officially, it's still not a guy she merely had a few dates with & hooked up with, so it still would be his right to know the general scope of if she's going out on dates or (beginning to be) seeing anyone else.

He obviously picked up something that didnt feel right when she recounted the night out with a "gf" thats what I would normally call intuition or a gut feeling, not "trust issues". If the person you suspect of being dishonest IS infact lying them thats called being astute or having good instinct NOT trust issues

Very true! In the end, I think he had good reason to suspect -- and should have had trust issues with Her. I think he over-stepped his bounds by calling the guy and pretty much ruined the relationship by doing so too, but at least he got the truth I guess... I'd say drop the girl -- you won't be able to trust her on anything again and you'd end up down the line driving yourself nuts and her nuts when it'd come to anything that could be taken as suspicious.
 sandyl57
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 144
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/30/2011 1:22:03 PM
lying.....been there with someone it is the thrill not you
 kfpns2011
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 145
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/30/2011 1:28:31 PM
Just way too much drama!
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 146
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/31/2011 7:30:52 AM
(Nubianagent1) Listen, based on your responses, it's obvious that you're unimpressed by logic, and don't think it should play any part in making a proper argument/point, but please try to give the "rest of us" people here, more credit.


Wrong. I appreciate logic, but I also realize its limitations. You, on the other hand, come across as a guy who's taken a first-year university course in philosophy, and all of a sudden thinks he's the next René Descartes.


Arlo_Troutman: Joined: 9/26/2009
Nubiangent: Joined: 9/12/2005

Nice to see your logical reasoning (in)abilities are equally matched by your (lack of) powers of observation.


BUA-HA-HA-HA!!! Do you really think that length of time on PoF has a bearing on one's n00bishness? You're like the guy who thinks that his having played WoW for five years means he's not a "n00b", while he's never gotten past fifth level...

Gosh-a-rootie, where do these people come from?


Ok, you obviously wanted my attention, and out of sheer boredom, I obliged. That said, given what I'm responding to, I believe two personal responses to be more than generous...so please, by all means, have the last word.


Wise decision. Lock horns with me, you're gonna get thrown...

Arlo...
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 147
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/31/2011 10:13:40 AM
This thread is funny.

If the woman OP slept with wants him, she’s gonna have him. What is obvious to me is that OP has very low self esteem; imagines relationships that aren’t there; and appoints himself her obsessive guardian by going through her phone and calling an old boyfriend to check up on her behavior. That ain’t normal.

I can’t help wondering what kind of response this thread would have gotten if the scenario was reversed, and the OP was a woman who went through her one night stand’s phone to call past girlfriends. That might hit a little close to home.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 148
view profile
History
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 10/31/2011 7:20:00 PM
@Fleuron: That would be interesting if the roles were reversed...

The endless battling keeps going and going and going...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 149
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 11/1/2011 3:16:32 PM

(fleuron) I can’t help wondering what kind of response this thread would have gotten if the scenario was reversed, and the OP was a woman who went through her one night stand’s phone to call past girlfriends. That might hit a little close to home.


Nah... being a whack-job is an Equal Employment Opportunity...

Arlo...
 Saturn111
Joined: 1/19/2011
Msg: 150
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 11/1/2011 6:16:47 PM
Tell it like it is...................................................
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 151
Is she lying or am I overanalyzing
Posted: 11/11/2011 4:46:30 AM
OP - When someone shows you who they are - believe them.

Walk away - hold your head up - your gut is telling you the truth, learn to listen to it.

Good luck.
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