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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Would you date someone 20 years older than you?      Home login  
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 Sparkledustpajamas
Joined: 12/3/2011
Msg: 60
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?Page 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I was in a serious relationship with a man who is 26 years my senior. We were good platonic friends for 8 months before it grew to be more. Five months later, here I sit, single again. He has many health problems. I do not. He has little interest in sex. I have lots. He used to be active and like to do things. I am active and regularly do things.

I stopped doing much of activities that make me, me. The feeling of love was there, which kept me hanging on, but giving up so much of myself, eventually took its toll. He told me one night that he's too old to love me, that he loves me like a close friend, not in the same fiery passionate way that I loved him.

I would not date someone that much older than me again.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 61
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/10/2011 8:33:01 PM
To the initial question of the title of the thread...NO I would not date someone 20 years older than me.

But that is me and I wouldn't judge someone who did. If you think you can work it out with the guy in question then by all means go for it...happy trails
 Lonely.Stoner
Joined: 8/14/2011
Msg: 62
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/14/2011 1:24:35 PM
hell yes i would date a beautiful older woman:P
 brothatrain
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 63
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History
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/14/2011 4:58:08 PM
This was me in the last 7 years when our relationship ended she was 67 and i was 40.I must say we had a great relationship and our communicatyion level was equal.I got along with her son and daughter aand her grandkids as well. Sexually we were not compatable but we didn't make that the basis of our relationship. Our ending had nothing to do with age but growing apart. So is it worth it depends on the persons.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 64
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/15/2011 9:09:42 PM
heck no i wont date someone 20 years older that would make her 65.. and i never meet a 65 year old that even came close to be attracted too..
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 65
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/16/2011 7:04:53 AM
^^^^ Are you sure about that?

I wouldn't date anyone 20 years older but 20 years younger is okay!
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 66
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/16/2011 7:08:49 AM
Well, I met someone, she's 12 years younger, and honestly, feels weird as all hell lol. I dont know yet if this is going to go anywhere, I'm kinda scared I'd be sleeping with my kid sister or something, you know? And my sister's 28, like 9 years older anyway lol. What do you guys think?
 xdchaoren
Joined: 4/13/2011
Msg: 67
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/16/2011 7:17:00 AM
hate of my getting old and ugly.where's he if i don;t care much...
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 68
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/16/2011 10:38:15 AM
My dad was 52 when I was born, mom was 23. She loved him very much and he loved her. He tragicaly died a couple of years later and she loved him until the day she died when she was 76.
My uncle (her brother) married a 19 year old (she is my age)when he was 42 and they are the sweetest couple and have 2 wonderful children in their mid to late twenties.

So , no I don't see any problem with you at your age dating somebody older. If it makes you happy, do it!
 tripthelightfantasic
Joined: 12/12/2011
Msg: 69
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/18/2011 5:34:32 AM

He has many health problems. I do not. He has little interest in sex. I have lots. He used to be active and like to do things. I am active and regularly do things.

I stopped doing much of activities that make me, me. The feeling of love was there, which kept me hanging on, but giving up so much of myself, eventually took its toll.


Well maybe if I met someone who I knew was right for me. But right now I doubt I would date someone 20 years older, for reasons that Sparkledustpajamas wrote.

For a time it's ok but when age begins to show more clearly, even if the younger partner is quite ok with the fact, there are things like feeling you look more like their parent than partner. This can be difficult to deal with. As much as you try not to care what anyone else thinks or says, it's something that tends to stick in the mind. I found anyway.
 missme2much
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 72
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 4/29/2012 5:19:28 PM
Just wanted to share the "lovely" (reaks of sarcasm) ending to this story. We never persued dating, but continued to have a friendly relationship. THEN...After the passing of my father, this "wonderful" man showed his true colors. He evidently thought there was a chance for us, even though I had made it clear I had only wanted to be friends. I told him in Feb. I was selling my home and moving back down state to be closer to my mother who is disabled and needs my help. His reply...."No. what you need to do is tell your mother she can either move up here with you or go to a nursing home." I was completely and utterly speechless. Now, the house deal fell through and I am stuck up here a little longer. But still working on getting closer to mom. But the older farmer can take a flying leap. I can't believe he made that comment. I had thought of him as a friend, but ouch....that hurt. I would NEVER say that to mom.
 ecochick1962
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 73
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 4/29/2012 9:10:53 PM
It would depend on the man. In the case of this man, if I were you, I would be grabbing on with both hands and not letting go. How wonderful it would be to be courted like that, I know it would make me melt all the way down to my toes......that he not minds about you having five kids including two with special needs goes to show what sort of man he is. I work with people with special needs, and I know that this is something most men can't handle. Good luck.
 JoseMadre
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 74
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 4/30/2012 9:55:29 AM
I've dated 14 years older and 19 years younger since I entered my unexpected singlehood. 20 years older or 20 years younger wouldn't matter to me. If I click with someone I won't let the accident of chronology interfere.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 75
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 4/30/2012 9:56:10 AM
::::Shudder:::::

I'll have to say no. Someone 20 years older than myself would be 73 years old. I don't like grey hair as it's a huge turn-off for me, but a man in his 70's with grey hair would give me the heebie jeebies.
 smashingmayo
Joined: 7/10/2011
Msg: 76
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/2/2012 1:35:35 AM
No way. My absolute max in who i would date is 27 and that would be VERY EVRY VERY rare for me to date someone that old. I usually like dating 18-20. As I mentioned in a thread in here and apparently it got deleted. wtf?
 kcomfort0001
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 77
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/2/2012 2:25:35 AM
No I wouldn't that would make the girl 12


In all seriousness I have a rough time dealing with girls in the young 20's can't explain it but usually almost always we have nothing in common.
 smashingmayo
Joined: 7/10/2011
Msg: 78
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/2/2012 3:41:45 AM
I don't necessarily have much in common, but I think that's overrated anwyay. Sometiems you can click with people you don't necessarily have a lot in common with. Obviously you have to have some opinions in common though. So far anyone my age is boring though.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 79
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/2/2012 6:30:39 AM

No I wouldn't that would make the girl 12



Thread says older not younger....

Age is just a number. I dated older, and younger, but not very much past a few years? Would I? Dunno, depends on the person. I couldnt care less about their age; if we click, we click. If we don't, we don't. Over 18 and under 70 pretty much. Although I'd probably have trouble dating if their over my folks ages LOL. Kinda akward.....
 Infinity_G
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 80
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/2/2012 6:53:09 AM

Lmao I dont even date men my age so no way in hell to this


Yes you do...you set you age range setting starting at age 25...so what's up with that? lol
 luminous33
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 81
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/2/2012 9:00:23 AM
I get the feeling from your post, that you will forever regret it if you don't try... Follow your heart.
 Blueangel1colorado
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 82
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Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/2/2012 3:39:20 PM
Of course I'd date someone older than me if I was as you as the lovely woman who has five kids and a great friend in the 'farmer' who's just shown how wonderful, generous and absoltuely adorable he can be.

After all he did do his job, came over and talked. Some men who are older go well with younger women because the men their age haven't grown up yet.

When I was younger I dated men who were 10 to 15 yrs older than I was because they had a B R A I N..... could think, talk and weren't just ready to hop in bed at a moments notice. They actually treated me like I was an intellegent woman. Not that I mind sex, it's great.

NOW though I don't want to date someone that much older than my self unless LOL he's going to be my sugar daddy and leave me well off when he goes down for the count while I'm still waiting for my MOMENT to happen. Do you think what I've just said was thoughtless, crude or insensative? I don't really care what you think. I've been there, done it and won't wear a T-Shirt for it when it comes to rude men who only want sex for the sake of sex and don't know how to hold a single intellgent sentence.

Am I here just for sex, no but is it an option? It might be IF the person had a brain, used it and wasn't into just sex for the sake of it UNLESS they are soooooooooooooooo good at it they can't be ignored, forgotten or get lost in a crowd of other men/women who I might meet along lifes path.

Do I want just a sexual relationship.. NOPE do I want more, Yes.

IF I were younger would I date a much older man, YES say HELL yes he may be the one and The Famer in the Dell perhaps should be the one the lovely young woman should be dating she doesn't need this website she needs to take the flowers, invite that man over for dinner and a movie and see where it goes if it's not already gone further by now..

Just my opinion.. we all have one right LOL
 smashingmayo
Joined: 7/10/2011
Msg: 83
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/3/2012 12:27:37 AM
As far as age being just a number, as long as both are legal ages that's true. And yet people always go out of their way to tell me it's oh so wrong for me to date an 18 yo. AND they make dumb assumptions as to why I usually date 18-22 range. People worry too much about what others' prefs are. Meanwhile, they think abortion is ok, but anyyyyyway.
 ThusSpokeZarathustra
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 84
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/3/2012 10:15:41 AM
I don't know why people make such a big deal about this age difference thing, especially in smaller towns.

Just last week when I was out for dinner with my companion who's 23 years old people in the restaurant were giving us dirty looks and I definitely felt some bad vibes from the waitress. The sense that people feel that I'm doing something wrong was almost palatable, and several times I could see people leaning over their plates and whispering, and I could imagine them saying all kinds of bad things about us.

I almost let it ruin our 10th anniversary dinner.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 85
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Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/3/2012 10:30:54 AM
No. Someone 20 years older than me would be old enough to be my mother. 'Nuf said.

Maybe that works for women, but not for most guys, unless they have serious mommy issues. :
 justagrlwithacat
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 86
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/3/2012 7:15:04 PM
20 years older would be 55, 3 years younger than my dad. so no.
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