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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Would you date someone 20 years older than you?      Home login  
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 abdieos74
Joined: 10/20/2011
Msg: 89
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Personally plus or minus 10 years is my limit.. Given that, I also take into consideration the fact that women tend, on average, to live around 7 years longer than men (it's nine years in Japan!).

Knowing that, it is not suprising that there are so many elderly female widows.
 smashingmayo
Joined: 7/10/2011
Msg: 90
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/4/2012 3:31:48 AM
lmao spoke. That makes me want to date an 18 yo even more, just for people to be stupid in restaurants.
 Luv_Lyfe
Joined: 7/19/2010
Msg: 91
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/4/2012 10:33:07 AM
Most of the women I have dated seriously for two or more years have been 15 - 25 year younger than myself although for fun and casual dating I am willing and able to go much younger. When I was around 50 the women I dated usually were 10 to 15 years younger. At 60 I found 20 years younger was ideal. Now at 70 I am looking more at 25 years younger being ideal for me, at least for LTR's.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 92
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/6/2012 9:02:26 AM
Going to be 60 later this year, out of curiosity I did a search from women 79-81 within 35 miles of my zip code. Since I live close to Chicago, it's a big dating pool. But only 14 women that age on PoF.

Age is not a linear function, when I was 30 I would date a women 50 but not date someone 20 years younger, because like, they would be 10. When I am 60 I would not date someone 20 years older for many reasons, not the least of which there aren't many left that want to date and who knows how many profiles are "active". But I would date someone 20 years younger.
 kire122881
Joined: 1/5/2011
Msg: 93
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Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/6/2012 3:56:19 PM
H3ll no!
That would make her 50.
Gross.
 saveta
Joined: 4/23/2012
Msg: 94
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/7/2012 8:06:16 AM
Not all men 20 years older than oneself are the same. Your guy sounds good, but I've had a very different experience. I was married to a man 21 years older than me and he was awful. He was self-centered, a hypochondriac who popped pills every day, jealous of my friends, attempted to cut me off from my family, etc etc. That was my experience; you are having quite another one. Don't think of it as dating someone 20 years old than you; think of it as dating someone who cares about you.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 95
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/7/2012 8:13:04 AM
Dunno if I'd go with 20 older, but I'd go with 20 younger.
Let's see, that would make her...12.
Cos you know, it's important to really MOLD them fromt he start and have them eating OUT OF YOUR HAND....
LOL Seriously, why not 20 older? Be weird, my folks are only 54, and that would make her 52...but it all depends on the woman herself.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 96
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/7/2012 8:52:53 AM
No.

 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 97
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/7/2012 12:15:27 PM
I did once.

To a person who looked at me more as an equal in every way and who celebrated my strength appreciated my brain and was totally confident in themselves without wanting to do the whole competition thing. He was a great guy.

He however was a person who was used to calling every single shot in terms of activities and things and didn't really understand how most of the rest of us lived because of his power and really unusual lifestyle so I would have killed him if we'd kept dating; but he became a very dear friend.

Recently dated someone who was 15 years older and he was in incredible shape; but again wayyy conflicting lives and goals so we didn't work out for dating; but he was young, vibrant, intresting and no one would have believed his age if they didn't see his license.

The only thing is the first one didn't appreciate my 80s music nearly enough lol
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 98
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Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/7/2012 1:17:32 PM
I have in both directions.....20 years older and 20 younger. The older ones were when I was younger and now that I am more mature, I have dated some in their 30's, and you know what............It was all good for the time, and no matter what, there was mutual attraction and that awesome chemistry, but none would last for long, because there was little chance for compatibility.

Go figure....

cd
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 99
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/7/2012 1:34:53 PM
^^the one i dated that was 20 years younger at first seemed really mature and together; but then threw a hissy fit when I decided instead of driving over to his home for wine to stay home and not drive through tornadoes that were literally on their way to both their house and mine (with my kids alone in my home).

To say his maturity evaporated and he got almost whiny he just couldn't believe I couldn't do it in spite of worry about not only the kids but my OWN skin... I had gotten partway there and th hail started, the sirens started and I literally didn't know if I would make it there in one piece.

I discovered he was a WHOLE lot more interested in feeding me his meat than he was my comfort in getting there. I did not reschedule. That was the last time I tried to date someone 20 years younger... though again have much as 15; but it mostly only works if we have similar fields and similar interests (especially if they like my kind of music and outside). Then the era doesn't matter so much. Same way with older. There has to be SOMETHING in common besides chemistry...
 EMunch2012
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 100
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/7/2012 3:12:30 PM
I think that's a nice story.

Fear?... Fear that's a normal human emotion. Find out what he feels and soon let him know how you feel. Let him know more about you, about your past and see if he listens. Listen to his story because now you have your story to worry about. What was past has passed. 20 years is a young mans life of learning the hard way, so what has he to show you from experience? Think about your children, you are not obligated to bend over backward for any man. If he's been patient to find someone special, he'll wait.
You don't HAVE to rush into it but for him could be something else, who knows.
 AwesomeKisser
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 101
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Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/7/2012 4:26:38 PM
Probably not. It would have to be with someone pretty exceptional. 20 years older would be 63 and it would take an amazingly young 63 year old for me to feel physically attracted to her. So it is unlikely to happen. I did go out with a 58 year old lady (15 years older) a few times and while I did enjoy her company and she was extremely fit and looked about 10 years younger then her physical age, the chemistry wasn't there.

On the flip side, I would likely have little in common with a 23 year old other then sex. It would take a very mature, intelligent and wise 23 year old to keep me engaged for longer then a couple weeks.

So I generally try to stick within 5 years either way as I feel we will be more compatible. But I suppose never say never :)
 agoodfriend66
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 102
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/30/2012 4:54:04 PM
I would never date anybody twenty years older or younger, as I have had a lot of negative experiences with this sort of thing.

My first long term relationship was with a woman who was 34, and I was only 20. At first, it was great. We seemed to have a lot in common, and she had a wit and a wisdom that few people my age had. After a year and a half, I was dumped for an even younger guy.

So this raises the question: what would anybody have in common with someone that much older or younger? And what about life experience? That is every bit as important as meeting someone with a common world view.

It is a free country, however, and people can do what they want as long as it is legal. I just hope that both parties in question understand the issues that can arise in these sort of relationships....
 LuvADKs
Joined: 8/31/2011
Msg: 103
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/1/2012 4:01:13 PM
20 years older than me? No way. Even though I'm 53, I'm very active. I can't imagine getting involved with anyone more than5 years older than me, and I would prefer someone my age down to maybe 5 years younger. I have my preferences set to -10 / +5 years to keep more possibilities open, but close to my age is preferred.
 Acehonestlady
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 104
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Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/3/2012 7:27:01 AM
If they were a spunk then yes. Look at Martin Shaw, almost 20 years older than me.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 105
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/3/2012 12:14:40 PM
i would have no problem dating a man that was 20 years older then me. i prefer a man to be about 10 to 15, but i usually end up dating men around my own age - which is not my ideal, but whatever. if the man is nice, kind, and if he is into you, then yeah, go for it - but only if you feel the same way.
 lynyrd_hatchet
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 106
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/3/2012 8:43:51 PM
that like dating my mom, not for me.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 107
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/4/2012 3:31:16 PM

So would you date someone 20 years older than you? If they were very kind, considerate, treated you well and actually acted like they were interested in you- and not what you owned?


At your age with five kids I would consider it. Now…..no way.

So OP, did you go for it?

He was married, right?
 DeerTaint
Joined: 4/3/2012
Msg: 108
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/4/2012 4:16:00 PM
Sure why not? Just make sure he writes me into his life insurance policy in case his viagra messes with his heart medicine. Then, I'll date his son who would probably be around my age.
 rdsxn8
Joined: 7/26/2010
Msg: 109
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/9/2012 9:59:27 AM
All I have to say in this matter is age is only a number. If he excepts you have 5 kids an two of them are special needs an he is willing to step up an be a man an love your kids like they were his own then yea I would go for it. I have dated women older then myself of like 15 years an younger women of like 12 years an I would say go for it.
 dove95
Joined: 5/31/2009
Msg: 110
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/9/2012 12:30:14 PM
Sexing someone 20 years older than me, as long as he can keep it up, hell yeah.

Dating... not so much. There's just too many differences both in life experiences, pop culture references, and nevermind that it's old enough that he could be my father (or I his mother if I look at it the other way)--and that does creep me out a bit.

That being said, go with your heart and with no hesitations. If you hesitate, you know you're a little bothered by it too--and that's not fair for the dude or yourself
 OptiLiving
Joined: 5/5/2012
Msg: 111
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/9/2012 4:35:54 PM
Nice story. For me, 20 years is too many. I imagine it would be like being with my dad or uncle...ew. Can't do it.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Would you date someone 20 years older than you?