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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Would you date someone 20 years older than you?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 OptiLiving
Joined: 5/5/2012
Msg: 111
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?Page 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Nice story. For me, 20 years is too many. I imagine it would be like being with my dad or uncle...ew. Can't do it.
 scpumkinfan
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 112
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/10/2012 8:50:28 AM
Sure!!!! If he was rich and in poor health and he wrote me into the will before he died. Heck yeah!
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 113
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/10/2012 6:16:46 PM
You know, I revisited the thread, read some of the later responses, from all those who would date movie stars, to those looking for a free ride, by virtue of death of the older party, to some of the other inane answers...

While I realize the OP, was sincere in her question and looking at it as a possible long term thing in her life. That belies the point, of the question in the OP tittle....

"Would you date someone 20 years older than you?"

That begs an interesting view of life. Dating is not marriage, nor is it sex, nor is it some version of physical prowess. It could be dancing, it could be dinner, it could be a msueum, or a Nascar race, or any of another 1,000 things.

If you met a man or woman, in your office, or out shopping struck up a conversation, found any number commonalities, things you both enjoy, would a "date" be so out of the question? I find it funny that so many of you, dimiss the things in life that make you, or any of us happy...because you are so focused on finding "the one"!!!

I can remember back in NYC, when I met any number of women, at least 20 years younger. They were focused on things they liked, things they were interested in, things they had a passion for. There were at least 4 times I can remember we went for dinner, had a great time, laughed like hell, were serious about the things we shared a passion for.

At the end of the evening, almost all, with one exception, said if I cared to, to call them again and we could go out and enjoy each others company...in all cases it had little to do with sex, or making out. It was all to do with who we were and what we liked or found interesting.

Frankly I find many of you stilted..out of touch with who you are and what you like...all for the purposes of that myopic view that "he may try and get over", or "she maybe after a free dinner"...that instead of having a few laughs or some interesting conversation, or doing a little dancing or whatever. You'd rather go home and twiddle your thumbs and dream about Mr./Mz. right! hahahaha!!

Life isn't timed by a stopwatch..or isn't defined by that stupid list you have that any potential meeting with a member of the opposite sex must attain to be worthy of your company for an evening.

JMHO
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 114
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Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/11/2012 9:34:39 AM
I would date someone 20 years older, but it's extremely unlikely that it would become a relationship. I think a relationship works best when there's no more than 10 years age difference - but of course there are successful exceptions! I just don't think I'd be one of the good exceptions.

I have actually dated women as much as 13 years older to about 25 years younger. We enjoyed each other's company for what it was, but a long-term relationship wasn't our goal.
 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 115
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/11/2012 10:15:30 AM
I would not date +/-20 yrs. Too much of a gap for me.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 116
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/11/2012 10:38:23 AM
i don't think men do well dating older women...especially significantly older women...why? because let's be honest, men are visual. guys, when you are 40 and the woman you are with is in her 50s, are you really going to be happy? also, men canhave children at any time; for women, there is a biological clock. so yeah, for women, it is a bit different. i think women do better when they date men that about 10 years older. i like men that are older - 10 to 15 is ideal, but i rarely end up dating men that age. for some reason, i always end up with men around my own age, which is fine, too.
 MillwoodsVal
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 117
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/15/2012 6:30:51 PM
Nope, not a chance. Men 2-4 years younger than me treat me much better.
 GurugiGets
Joined: 6/1/2012
Msg: 118
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/15/2012 10:32:21 PM
I'm great at dating older women. A gent. I get to dance and engage... I just don't have sex with someone who is way out of shape due to gravity. I know what it's like to pay for cosmetic surgery and in some cases, it's okay. But for you, just run the guy through some background checks, make sure he ain't no bad guy. You know what I mean. Flowers are flowers and fixing your plumbing is fine but if dude can't take you to Italy you're selling yourself short. You're in a rural area, so..
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 119
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/17/2012 4:12:55 AM
Yes, i would and have. Even with my negative experience of dating a man 25 years older in my late thirties brought me sadness because he wasn't very mature. I have found that my much older male friends valuable sources of inspiration, knowledge, and kindness. Those friends are happily married and one is life-long bachelor.
 MFocused
Joined: 5/28/2012
Msg: 120
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/17/2012 8:19:53 AM
I'm 38 so no I would not date a 58 year-old woman.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 121
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/17/2012 9:33:59 PM
Last week a client shows up and I been talking to her as I do with all the clients. Don't remember what we talked about but she asked me if she looks her age which is 60... Of course I said no she doesn't, Wonder why women think they always look younger duhhh. Cause guys we never tell them the truth even if they look older then there age.. Well she hinted that she is intrested, In a very easy to get way.. All I could think in my head oh hell no... I can't see my self dating someone that is 15 years older then me let alone 20.
 barky bark
Joined: 8/31/2010
Msg: 122
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/18/2012 6:57:01 PM
I would date a woman at pretty much any age (within reason). My ex-wife was 13 years younger. It was never an issue.
I say go for it! Enjoy the moment whatever his age.

I can't understand the woman older than me though ... I recently sent dozens of emails to woman between the ages of 53 and 58 and NONE of them wanted to have anything to do with me. They all said I was out of their comfort range in terms of age or they were looking for someone older. Oh well.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 4/14/2012
Msg: 123
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/20/2012 7:56:04 PM
No I would not date someone 20 years my sr nor would I date someone who is 20 years my jr. I wonder if you arent settling for the most convent option. When you settle you have to give up something. When you settle for a husband you dont feel passionate about you end up losing it. You can just as lonely in a bed with someone as in a bed alone.
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 124
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Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/22/2012 4:49:25 PM
Age should not be a problem if is not a prblem with both of you, people have opinions on who they would not date and who they would date. The desicion is up to you,is he a quality person? does he treat you well ? do you like spending time with him ? Wellll???? no brainer.

Age limits is a social-cultural thing, in this case you ask other people, ask yourself this, "Do I care", 'Will my life be better and enjoyable because of what I chose?"
 Steelrain11
Joined: 12/15/2011
Msg: 125
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/26/2012 11:22:48 AM
As I stated once before in the 45 or older forum- some of my best dates have been with women in their 40's and even a few in their 50's. For me it comes from having a hard time connecting with women my age. I have traveled the world, been to war, went to college, I own a vineyard! I dont follow the model of a typical 25 year old who still likes to hit up spring break to get some ass. Dont get me wrong I like to have fun, but fun can be had in many ways and not all of them require you to be drunk and naked... LOL
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 126
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/26/2012 8:22:44 PM
I had FWBs / casual relationships with women who were about 20 years older than me. One time I even had a casual relationship with a woman who was 26 years older than me. I was 29 and she was 55 at the time. We enjoyed the relationship and had fun. But we knew a LTR won't work out due to the large age difference. For a serious relationship, 10 years older is my general limit. Although I would consider dating someone is a little bit outside of my age range.
 wanderer1999
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 127
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Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/26/2012 10:23:49 PM
When I was in my early/mid 20's I did and didn't even blink twice about it.

As for marrying a woman 20 years older, when I was in my early/mid 20's I considered the possibility with several women I was dating and wouldn't have blinked twice under the right circumstances.

You can theorize about what if they're 80 and you're 60, but seriously, given that the divorce rate is 50% average marriage is only 8 years, and the median marriage is only 11 years, if you make it from 25 and 45 to 45 and 65 you probably aren't going to be breaking up over sagging boobs.

As for the children issue, it wasn't an issue. Men can procreate well into their later years if you break up, and there's always the possibility of surrogate mothers if you're still together later in life.

Would I date someone in their 20's if I was single today? Sure I would, if the woman was the right woman. Maybe I'll be 80 and she'll be 60, but the right woman will be interested in alot more than my devastating smile. And charm doesn't really go away with age does it?

And reaalistically, we all lose our physical attributes. It's what's inside that keeps you going as the years roll on. I wouldn't expect it to be any different whether I was 20 years older or 20 years younger for the right woman.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 128
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/27/2012 2:58:10 PM
If they had a good bit of money and no prenup, I would consider dating an 80 year old. If they aren't in good health, so much the better.
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 129
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/28/2012 9:35:50 PM

i don't think men do well dating older women...especially significantly older women...why? because let's be honest, men are visual. guys, when you are 40 and the woman you are with is in her 50s, are you really going to be happy?


My cousin married a woman 9 years older and they just celebrated 30 years together. I dated a widower 9 years my junior who had married to a woman 18 years older than he was and they were together happily for 20 years until her death from breast cancer. He was very handsome and had absolutely no problem with our age difference.

OP---Age has little to do with love...if this man is a well-intentioned, decent, caring man, has a good reputation and gets along well with your children, I see no harm in exploring a relationship. A lot of May-December relationships last a lifetime.
 Doctor-Lock
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 130
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 7/4/2012 8:10:25 AM
I think you misread the beginning. The farm boy is twenty years younger than the mother of the bunch. I only can say if he is still growing in his learning and experiences he will probably leave you for a younger one eventually. I dated an older woman once that I thought was attracted to me. What seemed to be the case was she was attracted to the fact that I was a little boy and it was more of a fantasy. I never could get her away from feeling guilty. She only wanted me for sex. If being taboo is for you, don't do something you will regret or would be ashamed to tell your parents about.
 dressagesweetie1974
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 131
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 7/5/2012 3:27:29 PM
Mmm 20 is pushing it for me. But I would be more comfortable going OVER than UNDER. I always feel pervy some how. Haha
 toraten
Joined: 6/3/2012
Msg: 132
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 7/10/2012 3:09:49 AM
how would you like to date me?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 133
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Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 7/10/2012 8:44:14 AM
I would have 20 years ago, but not so sure now. I'm not out hunting for 67 year old ladies. Generally, these situations are usually short term.
 missme2much
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 134
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 7/13/2012 8:05:09 PM
Doctor-Lock...you misread. The farmer is twenty years older than I. Twenty years younger than me would be a child- and I am absolutely not into that sick stuff.
 Zero_patience9000
Joined: 7/8/2012
Msg: 135
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:47:07 AM
Age is just a number. I say go for it. Hes a guy, he has plenty of life left in him.
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