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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 26
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Igor, so sorry about the loss of insurance; that is a hard place to be.

In 02, I had a great job, I had wonderful insurance...I was diagnosed with cancer and those great benefits saved my life. Now I have medicare; I had to go to a RA doctor and it took 9 months for me to get an appointment...having insurance isn't the issue...if you are going to make this a sticky point in a relationship make sure that they have GREAT insurance.

My doctor told me that shortly after I finished chemo that his father in law was diagnosed with the same type of cancer; unfortunately for him he had been let go from a job he had worked for 25 years and had no insurance. He lost everything ...his home, cars etc trying to pay for the treatments and ran out of money...I lived..he didn't.

I think this topic is a bit on the overly sensitive side for some of us.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 27
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 4:28:52 AM
What does him not having insurance have to do with you ? If he gets sick are you planning on paying his medical bills ?.


Of course not, but once you are attached and there is on going relationship, you'll give your boat to that person to save his life ( a natural decision,) then you realize you are sinking and drowning for you gave your life savers..

I learned this matter from the scenario of Judge Judy's court.
 aboutgettingby
Joined: 2/18/2011
Msg: 28
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 7:37:06 AM


I would probably choose not to get involved with someone who wasn't 100% healthy to begin with. Issues such as high blood pressure and high cholesterol are not always, but are usually lifestyle-related, i.e. due to lack of proper diet and exercise.

In addition, I pay for my own health insurance and would probably not be inclined to get involved with someone who couldn't afford to pay for their own.


First off I would have to say yes it is a deal breaker. You can get high deductable health insurance that covers the major things for under 200 dollars a month. I think it is complete selfishness to not get it.

Issues like blood pressure are not related to lifestyle but are hereditary. There is nothing, excersise, or diet related that you can do to counter that. There are various medicines that control it though.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 29
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 8:50:31 AM
^^^ Well duh, the people with certain pre-existing conditions either cannot get health insurance at all, and certainly not as cheap as you say - and the cost rises with age. So don't act all righteous about that. it usually has NOTHING to do with "selfishness", but everything to do with "affordability".
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 30
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 9:21:20 AM

Quoting Igor:
I had to give up my own health care because the cost went up by over 400%. I have to wait for the next election, and hope that the folks who win will undo what ever made the premiums jump so much, AND hope that they will put something in place that actually makes them go back down again.


Sorry to hear that. Most people that I know are either covered by their employer's health insurance, which has not gone up significantly, or have no coverage at all. I can't think of any one I know who is paying for their own health insurance. Bad situation to be in.

But, to get back on topic, the subject of health insurance is not something that comes up when I am considering whether I will date someone.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 31
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 9:52:22 AM
If you lived in Canada, everyone has health coverage. I know it's a thought foreign to my American neighbours but universal health care works pretty good here. So this is one red flag off the requirements for dating list - now I just to focus on the cheats, bitter, angry, not ready to date folks...just kidding.

I just don't understand why your coverage is so expensive. And it was expensive and it doesn't seem to matter which political party is in the White House.
 clayart
Joined: 9/14/2011
Msg: 32
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 11:56:17 AM

I just don't understand why your coverage is so expensive.


Greed. One example: Canada and many other countries refused to pay the pharmaceutical manufacturers their outrageous prices. Since they are still making a huge profit on you (Canada), they agreed to sell at lower prices. The US government won't do this so their friends, who pay for their election campaign, can buy a bigger yacht.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 33
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 11:56:58 AM

It's not only a matter of being fit, but I would question the character and sense of responsibility of someone who didn't make health insurance a priority.

Geez, I guess I wasted all the years I worked at jobs I disliked to outright hated just to have good health insurance that would cover my kids, then my husband. Even though my kids' father also had health insurance coverage on them, there were still times that we had to kick in more $$ to pay for what they needed. I would estimate that for around 30 years I worked at jobs I would never have chosen because of the insurance benefits. There were also some jobs I did enjoy very much, but they weren't the ones with benefits, they just provided additional income to pay bills.

As for myself, I've needed it just once in my entire working life. Now I have Medicare, no choice about that, and about as useless as it gets. There is no coverage for regular checkups, or much of anything to do with vision, or preventive dental. I won't even get into how much a hearing aid costs. And one of the things they don't tell you is that there is a cap on what/how much social security/Medicare will be paid on behalf of any one person.

Sometimes it just doesn't matter how much one wants to make it a priority - no insurance company will provide coverage, no matter what.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 34
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 12:16:56 PM

If you lived in Canada, everyone has health coverage. I know it's a thought foreign to my American neighbours but universal health care works pretty good here. So this is one red flag off the requirements for dating list - now I just to focus on the cheats, bitter, angry, not ready to date folks...just kidding.

I think you need to qualify this statement. Everyone in Canada has universal health care when it comes to visits to the doctor, hospital, x-ray, various diagnostic tests, etc. Unless you are a senior citizen, we do not have universal health benefits plan for drugs, vision, hearing, chiropractic, PT, massage therapy, etc. As an individual, I purchase the latter from Alberta Health Care/Alberta Blue Cross for a monthly payment of approximately $127.00. I am now employed and I have decided to retain those two plans to augment the benefit plan offered through my place of employment to ensure that all things necessary to me are covered.


I just don't understand why your coverage is so expensive. And it was expensive and it doesn't seem to matter which political party is in the White House.

The US system is expensive because it is a "for profit" industry. All the shareholders of the health care corporations are constantly screaming for higher profits and ultimately dividends. If you looked at the hidden figures of the Canadian health care system, you would find those figures a little daunting too although our system is a "not for profit" system and each provincial health care facility is run by the government from taxpayers' money. As you are no doubt aware, Alberta is contravening the Canada Health Act by openly allowing the two tier health care system to take root. It won't be long before Alberta, being the rogue province of Canada, will have a health care system akin to that of our neighbours to the south.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 35
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 1:39:32 PM
I have dated numerous women that did not have health insurance and that was their option, but if we were going to have an ongoing relationship, they needed to get their own and not depend on me.

What I have done, and will continue, for those women who do not have health insurance or little money, will be to pay for them to get tested and a physical at the local health center, in order to make sure that they are entering my bed as clean as I am entering theirs.....

If they have no insurance and little money, the cost for them to have the testing and physical done, is prorated according to ability to pay, so I can give them the amount needed, and have them tested as I am through my doctor, and we share together. It seems like a fair trade for peace of mind and body, and to show that I do not just talk the talk about being clean and healthy, but walk the walk, and willing to help them, help me.....

cd.............
 TxTiggerroo
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 36
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 1:45:32 PM

if someone on a date asked me whether I have health insurance, I think I'd just walk away ...


I totally agree with you Molly on this!

If someone dates me for whatever I "have", whether it be money, stuff or insurance... they need to stay the hell away from me. What you have or don't have does not define the person you are!
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 37
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 1:48:52 PM

if someone on a date asked me whether I have health insurance, I think I'd just walk away ...


That quote makes me wonder what kind of stunt is being planned on that date...or how bad IS that restaurant we're going to.
 albanyguy77
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 38
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 2:36:16 PM
wow....how shallow can people get???? now a person isn't good enough cause he or she may not have health coverage???? funny how its mostly women saying it could be a deal breaker.....don't **** when you guys get replaced by a hot 30 year old...after all she is healthier ..
 shezabritelite
Joined: 9/24/2011
Msg: 39
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 2:42:00 PM
You said she works at walmart? Heck, she's got a job!

At this stage in your life, you better pursue that relationship. Why not? Deal with the issues when they come, not to waste precious time worrying about what might be. Chances are this relationship won't get far enough that one's health will matter to the other. If you do become enamored, then having health insurance isn't going to matter because the love you've found is far more precious.

hmmm, health insurance or love...die alone or love?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 40
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 2:47:18 PM

That quote makes me wonder what kind of stunt is being planned on that date...or how bad IS that restaurant we're going to.

Right!
 junipermoon
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 41
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 5:03:07 PM
i'm sorry, but...it's none of anyone's damn business whether or not another person has health insurance.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 42
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 5:43:36 PM

If someone dates me for whatever I "have", whether it be money, stuff or insurance... they need to stay the hell away from me. What you have or don't have does not define the person you are!
Pretty much. There comes a time in life where it is best to not share assets. After being single for many years and having bought a home that I would never have been able to afford otherwise, if I didn't have an inheritance situation, the last thing I want is to have some bozo, who lost his ass to his ex live off of me. I have never lived off of anyone and I don't want the same. Not that I have a lot but I'm grateful for what I have and have issue with the way people use each other these days.
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 43
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 8:51:28 PM
My partner and I are both 100% healthy

People who say they're 100% healthy is living a pipedream ... especially if they are middle-age.

funny how its mostly women saying it could be a deal breaker.....don't **** when you guys get replaced by a hot 30 year old...after all she is healthier

Yeah ... and a lot less wrinkled.

Physical checkups doesn't always reveal everything. Your doctor could give you a clean bill of health and you could keel over next week ... or become hospitalized/die from food poisoning.

As another poster said: you could be gainfully employed one moment and be laid off/fired the next. Therefore, you can be "100% healthy" today and become deathly ill tomorrow. Good luck with the delusion though.

At 45, most people still think they're going to "live forever". At 55....LOL! we begin to know better

Hell, I'm only 50 and I don't think I'll "live forever". In fact, I've been thinking about not putting anymore money away for retirement since I may not reach that age ... and just enjoy life now while I still can.

Padawan61:

Reading your message, I can't breath because of LAUGHTER and I have no health insurance, now every one knows that I am a Dealbreaker , my life is doomed no one will date me anymore

And we all know it is really health insurance coverage that'll make us more date-able and desirable, right??

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 44
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 9:03:03 PM

At this st/age of your life, do you decide you can afford to pursue a relationship with him/her? [/end quote]

At 45, most people still think they're going to "live forever". At 55....LOL! we begin to know better.

It's my personal belief that the insurance industry is what has destroyed this nation, it's corrupt...Legalized GAMBLING.....where only the bookie.....errr...I mean.....banker is going to make out. I've been fortunate throughout most of my life to have had excellent health care insurance....most of the time paid for 100% by my employer. As a college student (20 years ago) majoring in Sociology and Economics however, I developed an interest in just HOW our society, industry, and financial institutions really ....WORK.
Having been employed by a major corporation for 30 years (I'm now retired), I was one of the 60% of American workers (up until about 2000) covered by ....as my card said...."Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield" What I came to realize however, was...that BC/BS was only the TPA of my insurance plan. My company (as were the vast majority of other large businesses) IS...."self insured".

What this means IS, that the company pays NO "premiums" to an Insurance Company....other than an "stop loss" premium....which takes effect only when and if a single claim surpasses the pre-determined amount set by the employer.

Being "self-insured" has saved corporations billions of dollars over the years...but the "picnic" is almost over.

Here's how things have been working...and why insurance rates are going to "double".


Benefits of Employer Self-insurance
Benefits for employers who self-insure include:

1. Regulation by only the federal government, enabling employers, especially those doing business in multiple states, to avoid states' inconsistent laws and policies

2. Ability to customize benefits according to the needs of employees

3. Ability to focus on specific employee health problem trends (such as obesity and smoking) and to devise appropriate employee-wellness programs

4. Improved cash flow, because the employer can manage its own insurance funds---including those from employee health insurance payroll deductions--- to maximize interest income from investments during the life of the plan

5. The federal employer income tax exclusion for employee health insurance costs


Features of Self-insured Plans
Self-insured employers are required to comply with certain federal regulations, including the Employee Retirement Income Security Act of 1974 (ERISA), Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act (COBRA), the Americans with Disabilities Act and the Civil Rights Act.

Self-insured employers take on all obligations regarding payment of claims. Those that may not be able to meet such obligations can buy stop-loss insurance to mitigate the financial risk beyond a maximum limit set by the employer. Stop-loss insurance can be purchased on a specific claim- or aggregate-claims basis. In other words, the employer can protect itself from a single catastrophic claim or from a too-high accumulation of normal claims.

Employers can administer their insurance plans internally or they can hire a third-party administrator, or TPA, which is sometimes an insurance company providing assistance only.

Facts
Under self-funded plans, the employer decides what benefits are offered, determines whether claims are appropriate, and processes and pays claims. Claim payment comes directly from the employer, regardless of whether it has hired a TPA that happens to be an insurance company. Employees are not insured by a TPA.

The names of both the employer and the TPA appear on the benefits handbook and claim forms. However, an insurance company serving in the capacity of a TPA does not make or countermand the self-insured employer's claims or benefits decisions.

Stop-loss insurance is an agreement between the insurance company and the employer only. It does not involve insured employees.

Payroll deductions are used to fund the self-insured plan, similar to conventional insurance coverage.

Considerations
Businesses considering a self-funded insurance plan should consider the following:

1. The costs of adding personnel or hiring a TPA to administer the program

2. Their claims history, to discern any trends

3. The cost of stop-loss insurance

4. Their cash flow


For MANY years....the majority of businesses....even small ones were able to benefit from being "self-insured"....because it was a GREAT WAY to avoid income taxes, capital gain taxes...and gawd only knows what other taxes.

The amost IDENTICAL health care plan my employer STATES costs them $1500 per MONTH....per employee...costs me $150 per month....as I have provided it as a stand alone policy for my grandchildren. As "sponsored dependents" on my own health care policy....the SAME coverage....would cost me over $900 per month. WHY the difference you ask? Well, when I purchased the insurance for the children, I did so directly with Anthem...no TPA (third party administrator)....but the BIGGEST savings....is that I'm NOT funding a "savings account" for my employer. You see...the REASON my employer REPORTS that MY insurance costs them $1500 per month...is because....they then get to DEDUCT that same amount from their tax liability at years end....and employers have FREE reign on how they INVEST those "premiums"... thus also avoiding any capital gains on those earnings as well.


The tax preferences for employment-based health insurance produced a higher level of costs, prices, and expenditures than we would have had otherwise. This created winners (and political supporters) among the majority of workers who received additional coverage and the providers who supplied the care. On the other hand, these policies have raised costs for everyone, including the uninsured.

Reduce the Business Tax Deduction. Under present practice, firms are able to treat the cost of health insurance premiums they pay in the same way as any other legitimate business expense, such as the cost of wages, taxes, and raw material inputs. That policy could be changed by eliminating or capping the amount of premium payments that firms could deduct as a business expense. Such a policy would not affect firms that did not offer health insurance but would give firms that did strong incentives to drop that coverage to avoid higher taxes. It would also competitively disadvantage firms offering health insurance compared to those not offering insurance. The incidence of the change in policy would depend on the marginal tax rates of the business firms offering insurance, so that the burden would fall more heavily on the more profitable firms. This policy would likely increase tax revenues for the federal government but would also increase the number of Americans without health insurance as firms dropped their coverage in favor of paying wages that could still be deducted.

Despite the perverse health system effects of such a policy, it has political appeal for those who favor taxing businesses rather than individuals. The rationale is that taxing business firms can raise revenue without directly affecting a large group of voters. The Washington Post has reported that a type of tax cap on business deductions for health insurance may be under consideration by the Bush administration.[9] This has not been confirmed, so it is impossible to know if such a deduction cap is really being considered or if this is yet another example of confusion in the press between the terms “tax exclusion” and “tax deduction.”
Ok, those are excerpts from an article dated 2004, BUT...they still exemplify the nature of our problem with health care costs in the USA.

Corporations...whether self insured of "fully insured"....have purposely....DRIVEN UP health care costs....NOT for the sake of health care.....but as a means of avoiding taxes.

Hey...I'm all for avoiding as much in taxes as I can....but enough is enough!

Idiot greedy investment bankers created an artificially inflated housing market...and passed the costs of that picnic to the taxpayers. "Self insured" employers have been artificially inflating the insurance industry for the last 60 years....to the tune of....I read several days ago that 2012 will see the AVERAGE cost of health care for a family of 4 at $17,000.!!!!! This....when it was also reported the same day that the median income has fallen in the last 10 years....approximately 8%...down to $46,300 per year. That's about 5 cents per year short of 37% of the average American's income for health insurance....WHETHER they use it or...NOT.

I think we've all been "brainwashed" into believing that we can't live without health insurance, life insurance, house insurance, car insurance, boat, motorcycle, computer, crop, pimple and hair loss insurance....to DEATH! Am I going to call up and cancel my health insurance??? Hell no....because...even though I'm healthy as the proverbial horse today....who knows...I might NEED health care....sooner or later; and....it doesn't cost ME.....$17,000 per year to have that "peace of mind". But seriously, this insurance stuff is a major RACKET....and I have to believe that a lot of people are just showing good common sense by NOT falling into the "insurance trap".
That said however....as a homeowner with a few modest assets....I don't want to end up living in a cardboard box...IF I were to get hit by a cement truck when I walk out to the mailbox tomorrow afternoon. IF, I owned nothing and had no (or little income)...then I wouldn't give insurance a 2nd thought....they can't turn me away at the Emergency Room...and they couldn't get payment out of a turnip (someone without assets or income).

THIS, in response to the OPs question .....is....YES.....having health insurance, or NOT having health insurance.....IS a "deal breaker".....in legalizing any future "relationship" LOL! Fortunately for me...there are a whole lot of other deal breakers ahead of that particular one, but it's surely on the list...and that is really kinda sad...because...it shouldn't be...and it's NOT something that is the "fault" of the individual.....it's not a character flaw....or a sign of irresponsibility or any other thing. Most people without health insurance are simply "victims" of a corrupt industry, exploiting tax law to their own advantage...at the expense of the most vunerable 50% of US citizens.

Those of us who are WELL PAST 45 yrs of age have OTHER insurance considerations that we ponder when thinking about any legal entanglements (relationships)....those of Long Term Care. This is a LOT different nowdays than with marriages that lasted 70 years (as did my dear grandparents') Not so much at 45....but definitely by 55....65 years of age....we THINK about....becoming LEGALLY responsible for those "long term care" expenses.....PARTICULARLY....when one of the parties has even the most modest of assets...and the other....has little or nothing. I'm almost 59 yrs old, have a good income, insurance policies, a brand new home that I just built this summer...and it's going to be PAID for within 10 years .....so that HOPEFULLY.....Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise....when my 2 grandchildren (whom I have legally adopted) are 18.....I'll sell the house...having plenty to buy myself a little 1 or 2 bedroom cottage....and dedicate the largest portion toward their college expenses.
Would I really want to just "throw away" my modest investment ($300,000) because I'm a romantic IDIOT??? Heaven forbid! NO, at my age, I have enough sense to realize that nursing homes cost about $10k per MONTH...and without "insurance"....before Medicare kicks in....I have to be destitute!! Meaning....I can't OWN anything of any value; and further....IF I were legally attached to someone who had a claim on my modest assets...then THEY couldn't get any financial help as long as "I" own anything. The problem IS....WHAT IF....I screw up and live to be 94 yrs old.....like my grandparents did??? That's 35 years of living in a cardboard box under a bridge....for some guy that I might know....all of 5 - 10 years. That's some mighty expensive "companionship"!!!
All of you saying that this stance is selfish can just STFU!!! Try working your rear end off for 40 years just so you can AGE with a little dignity and some small comforts before you criticize others for thinking about the future. This is not a ONE SIDED philosophy that I have. I feel the SAME way about any prospective partner that I might someday want to be involved with. I would NEVER expect someone that I professed to care for...to sacrifice everything that THEY'VE worked their whole lives for to pay some overinflated nursing home bills just so someone will wipe my butt for me when I'm so far gone that I don't even remember who they are.

No, indeed....by the time I hit 70, I'll sign everything I own over to my grandkids, and I plan to live like a pauper from that point on. LOL! Even my funeral is pre-planned and pre-paid for. I'll leave this world just like I entered it.....Owning...and OWEING....nothing.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 45
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History
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 9:04:15 PM
Padawan61:

Reading your message, I can't breath because of LAUGHTER and I have no health insurance, now every one knows that I am a Dealbreaker , my life is doomed no one will date me anymore.
 trh1268
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 46
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 9:11:25 PM
It's okay to go out with the person with no health insurance, but make sure before you get married your loved one has health insurance.
 clayart
Joined: 9/14/2011
Msg: 47
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/23/2011 11:05:00 PM
FOR SALE

Fake Health Insurance Card $ 5.00 U.S.

Laminated Card with Pocket Clip for Easy Display on First Dates $ 7.50 U.S.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 48
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/24/2011 8:24:06 AM
I guess if you are gold diggin then a health care plan will be a deal breaker...seriously? I just shake my head on this site sometimes....lolololol
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 49
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/24/2011 8:59:24 AM
I don't consider it a dealbreaker.
But then I am not, no way, getting legally entangled with anyone .. so it's a moot consideration for me.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 50
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History
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/24/2011 10:52:58 AM

Yes, there are some shallow people...

but worse than that...

then you guys get replaced by a hot 30 year old...after all she is healthier ...
.... there are some very immature, jaded, stupid people too... JMHO!!! Actually that is the least of our worries.....


Pretty much why I don't put a lot of stock in this site and never really have to be honest. I know what I earn, what I have coverage for. I guess here in Canada, we all have OHIP, so this isn't an issue. But I have to say I find it really really cheesy for someone to factor this into a relationship, should a connection be made...wow!
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