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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?      Home login  
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 Rain587
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 76
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
This is one woman who will date someone with an illness, disability, and no insurance.

I have an excellent PPO which some of you know can be higher to keep but it's better then an HMO. If I find someone compatible and we were to marry, I'd put him on my insurance with no question.

I think a person has more value then money or things. I'm just crazy like that.
 satx78218
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 77
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 3:49:48 AM
That this question even comes up is an indication of how insanely inhumane and profoundly unChrist-like America has become, and will remain so indefinitely because that's exactly how the predatory, avaricious for-profit health-care business gorges itself with profits.

iow, the question is: if you had a relationship with someone uninsured, what would you do if the person had, or developed, an expensive, chronic health condition that was keeping them in poverty and perhaps driving them to medical bankruptcy (half of all personal bankruptcies in the US are for medical catastrophes, and most of them had health insurance)?

Other industrial countries, not preoccupied with relentlessly flattering themselves as "Christian" or "God's Chosen Country", solved this problem decades ago with universal health care (and no, it ain't "free" AT ALL) and provide health care for ALL of their citizens at up to 50% less cost per capita than the USA which leaves 40M+ uninsured.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 78
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 6:32:53 AM
Spot on, "Satyx" -- seriously sadly spot on.

True. There are a select few (most likely significantly lower than the 1% whose relative standard of living's reflecting a glaring contrast with that of the average US Joe/Jane is fueling Occupy Wall Street ) who have a PPO -- aka the creme de la creme of health insurances.

Among these select few are some government workers. Which is certainly not to begrudge their (and their families') ability to become expensively ill/disabled without landing on the welfare rolls.

But they are a highly select few. The rest of us are at the mercy of our elected officials and big money industries connected to god knows (I'm sure I don't) whom. Or what.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 79
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 7:18:45 AM
http://news.yahoo.com/economy-patients-asking-docs-freebies-172325407.html
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 80
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 9:15:26 AM

iow, the question is: if you had a relationship with someone uninsured, what would you do if the person had, or developed, an expensive, chronic health condition that was keeping them in poverty and perhaps driving them to medical bankruptcy (half of all personal bankruptcies in the US are for medical catastrophes, and most of them had health insurance)?

Umm, I married one kind of like that, just to make sure he did have insurance. It did some good, not as much as it should have by a long ways. Now, I'd be more likely to live with than get legally married. It's not just the health insurance, now being married can really screw around with retirement benefits of any kind. I'm not sure that I could now anyway, ever since 9/11 it's gotten more and more difficult to prove who oneself is, and it's been nearly 5 years since I've had a state ID. It's about to run out, and no matter what documents I get from where, it's never enough. Pretty soon I'm gonna be a non-person.
 infennario
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 81
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 12:24:49 PM
Me too, Kari. I also had a 17 yr old who had a major medical problem ($250k in total costs) and it took me 2 years to pay off the co-pays. She had "good insurance."

Another anecdote: I had an aunt and uncle who considered divorcing while he was dying because his medical costs were draining away everything that she (age 77) would have to live on after his death. He died before it was ALL gone, but she did sell the house they'd lived in for 50 years and nearly emptied their savings. He had insurance.

So there are no guarantees in someone’s having insurance.

Ah, what a health system we have in the US.
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 82
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 12:46:56 PM
^^DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!
I can't believe you guys. Americans are all about democracy yet why haven't you all marched to Washington over this?
Where is the spirit of the 60s?
PROTEST! MARCH! DEMONSTRATE! Remember "people power"??
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 83
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 12:53:07 PM

^^DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!
I can't believe you guys. Americans are all about democracy yet why haven't you all marched to Washington over this?
Where is the spirit of the 60s?
PROTEST! MARCH! DEMONSTRATE! Remember "people power"??

Have you noticed the Occupy Wall Street thread in Off Topic? Health care reform is one of the major OWS issues, but there are so many who are just blowing it all off as "'whiny, want whatever they feel they are entitled to' kids who are busy smoking pot and trying to get laid" they are missing out on all the real issues that are coming to light. And how much of the rest of the world is joining in.

And I'm gonna stop there, or I'll go off on another rant.
 infennario
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 84
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 1:03:11 PM
Oh, the political system in the US has changed.

The Occupy Wall Street movement is going to the core, in most ways, targeting the corruption and mutual dependence of "the 1%" (the 1% of the population with the highest income and assets) and politicians.

I hope I do not come off as cynical because I'm not... but... I do think that we are going through a major identity crisis as a nation, now at risk of not being the supreme power in the world, not having the strongest economy, and having to compete economically in a way that we did not have to while europe and asia were rebuilding post-WWII. We're in a hubris-hangover, and scared.
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 85
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 1:06:16 PM
We've got our own Occupy Melbourne at the moment (along with Occupy Sydney), so I'm aware of the demonstrations and their overall reason, but I haven't read that thread, kari.
And the rest of the world doesn't need to support Americans' call for affordable health care. This is YOUR ISSUE.
Hillary Clinton supports this idea. Write to her! Start protest groups! Start writing to the newspapers..start spreading the word.
Put up political candidates who support affordable health care. Campaign for them.
Do you know how powerful grassroots politics is? We're watching political changes around the world happen because of this.
Don't keep voting for these corporate sleazes or, in your country's case, not voting at all and letting them in by default.
It's up to you guys, too. You're not too old and it's affecting you the most.
I mean, what's with the quietly dying in the street approach? Quietly selling off your assets to pay for medical care? Quietly lying down and letting your political system walk all over you?
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 86
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 2:07:52 PM
Grass roots movements have some power, but not much here in the US. It's essentially a 2 party system, Democrats and Republicans, no matter what anyone says. And who gets elected has depended a lot on how much campaign funding has been provided by interested corporations. I think the best we can hope for in the next few elections is to simply vote out of Congress the ones who keep to the old line. The rest will either get the message and clean up their act, or follow the rest on their way out.

Health care is just one of many issues. It's also an issue that OWS is not making the mainstream news media, not in any serious way. I get more news from the International Business Times/Australian edition that from any US media. Another one that is bugging me right now is that some of the bigger commercial banks are not allowing customers to close their accounts. What bugs me even more is the financial blockage against WikiLeaks. It is absolutely NOT the business of any bank or money transfer business to tell anyone at all how they can or can't spend their own money.

I think that thread is worth reading, just because of some of the inane comments. One twit I won't mention is totally convinced that anyone who doesn't agree with him completely is a commie.
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 87
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 2:14:11 PM
^^Your country's political system was founded on grassroots movements. And what about your civil rights movements? Peace rallies? All began at grass root levels.
Until Americans stop being so apathetic about this - as in NOT voting - nothing will change. And your children and grandchildren are inheriting this ...
You live in a free country. Do something about it. As fjn says, America is currently in a state of flux. Now's the time to stike..
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 88
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 2:33:59 PM

We've got our own Occupy Melbourne at the moment (along with Occupy Sydney),

That hemisphere is for sissies. We need some people to come and occupy Northern Territory in Canada. This is a great time to experience the special climate of this region. Bring your seal fur coats.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 89
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 2:44:18 PM

^^Your country's political system was founded on grassroots movements. And what about your civil rights movements? Peace rallies? All began at grass root levels.
Until Americans stop being so apathetic about this - as in NOT voting - nothing will change. And your children and grandchildren are inheriting this ...
You live in a free country. Do something about it. As fjn says, America is currently in a state of flux. Now's the time to stike..

I took part in some of the peace rallies and the civil rights demonstrations. I remember what it was like before and after. I have/had a lot of friends who survived - more or less - the Vietnam War, and how long it took for it to become a 'real' war so those vets could get military benefits. I remember people being shot and killed at some demonstrations, and some running north to Canada.

I vote, I talk. But I'm tired, right down to the bone tired. I have lived my life according to what I believe is right. I will encourage, talk, encourage still more. But I really have to say I am no longer up to the kind of demonstrations where cops are hauling men out of wheelchairs to beat and arrest them. Or to shoot - with a non/lethal bullet - a US military vet who was trying to protect the protesters. US cops shooting anything at all at a Vet? It's beyond belief, but it just happened yesterday, I think.
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 90
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 2:52:47 PM
The "haves" will always do their utmost to keep what they've got. Protestors have always been threatened, arrested and murdered to shut them up and make them go away.
If you dont want to take to the streets, there are other ways to fight. There are always ways to bring change. Otherwise, what's the point of it all?
I protested against the Vietnam War and for women's rights and on environmental issues as well, Kari. I've been arrested.
My daughter's marching with banners now. I take another approach - campaigns.
You can bring about change from the comfort of your living room. Use the internet! Start online campaigns in social networking sites!
Do something - anything - but don't lie down and let the b@stards take it all. The USA is the largest democratic country in the world. If you can't harness people power - there's something terribly wrong...
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 91
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 3:17:33 PM

You can bring about change from the comfort of your living room. Use the internet! Start online campaigns in social networking sites!
Do something - anything - but don't lie down and let the b@stards take it all. The USA is the largest democratic country in the world. If you can't harness people power - there's something terribly wrong...

That's pretty much what I do, the social networking thing, I mean. But it's different now than it was back then. I'm ten years older than you, and it's kind of disheartening to discover that I no longer have the emotional energy I once did. It doesn't mean I no longer care, it means that now it's up to my kids to carry on the torch I've passed along to them.
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 92
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 4:02:27 PM
Our great country has lost its way as far as the American dream is concerned. Back in my day, when I graduated college in 1980, I had three job offers waiting and took the best job for me. Now, a college education does not begin to offer what it did when I graduated. The stats that I have seen are that only one in five graduates, across the nation, get a job in their chosen fields. If that is not bad enough, too many graduate with crushing student loan debt that they may never see the end of.

We can all protest in our own way. My 21 year old protested while she was in California last week. While I cannot do that, I can certainly write to elected officials, and be a smart consumer and less of one. I can be as educated of a voter as I can be for the upcoming elections.

As far as health care goes, it is not a deal breaker for me. I currently have health-care as a teacher. If I were to marry someone and he did not have it, I could put him on mine. We all have financial issues of one sort of the other, or at least all most all of us. As middle-age people, we are the sandwich generation with kids to raise, educate, and parents to take care of in some instances. Somehow, we are supposed to have fat 401Ks and be able to retire at 65. It is not going to happen for many of us.

Relationships do affect our bank account, but I am more concerned with what other riches we can bring to each other's lives than I am anything else. I do want someone who is responsible, but sometimes things happen that are beyond our control.

If you put too many limitations on potential relationships, a very large pond can dwindle to a puddle very quickly:)
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 93
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 4:04:52 PM
As to the "dealbreaker?" topic of this thread....
Today I spent 4 hours doing something I love and do several times a week.. sitting down on the pier at the ocean.
The last 3 hours of it I talked with a man, a stranger.. we talked and talked. Exchanged phone numbers.
In all that time, lots of real interesting talking, it never came up "do you have health insurance?"

 NotGorshkovAgain
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 94
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 5:35:18 PM

At this st/age of your life, do you decide you can afford to pursue a relationship with him/her?

Life has a 100% fatality rate. Deal with it.
 bodypro88
Joined: 10/15/2011
Msg: 95
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 6:00:22 PM
^^^ That was an emphatic way of saying nothing, nothing at all. The point isn't about dying, the thread is about living. About being financially ruined and living in poverty until you do die. I faced my mortality 26 years ago and here I still am. I survived. In Canada catastrophic illness won't put you on the street, at least not right now.

It can and does in the United States where I lived half my life. I consider a lot of things now from a financial standpoint. At least it's a consideration. Two people can live almost as cheaply as one but a divorce halves my assets. I have lived close enough to the street for much of my life that I don't want to end my days there.

Addendum: I was at the Wal-Mart pharmacy one time and I asked the pharmacist if a product I wanted to buy was a contraindication for a prescription medication I take, "Will I die if I take this?" I hear this voice behind me, East European accent, "Well we are all going to die." The pharmacist assured me it was okay and I turned around and it some big fat guy and bunch of other people were around.

I'm looking at this guy, "Yeah, we all ARE going to die but you're going to die tonight while you're on the toilet."

He looked uncomfortable and the other people were looking at their shoes and kind of edging away so I went about my business. That fat old guy had probably been waiting years to be able to share his profound wisdom publicly.
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 96
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 6:59:50 PM
I have had a very serious illness and three surgeries to go along with it. Because I had some insurance, I was able to get good care. However, I have medical loans that I will be paying on for seventeen months. My point is, I have insurance, but I also have medical debt from a serious illness.

The insurance industry needs some serious reform! It is terrible how any of the big corporations insist on maintaining the profit margin without any thought for PEOPLE.

I think if you care about someone, you can work through some tough financial issues if that person matters enough to you. None of us want to live hand to mouth and run out of money before we run out of month. Recovering from divorce is hard and trying to make ends meet in the economy is very hard. At some point though, we may just have to weigh the risks with the benefits of dating someone whose financial situation may not be what we would wish for.
 TNBinLV
Joined: 6/16/2011
Msg: 97
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 7:04:24 PM

"Two people can live almost as cheaply as one but a divorce halves my assets. I have lived close enough to the street for much of my life that I don't want to end my days there."

Most people probably don't want to end their days on the street.

In the US, there are so-called prenuptial/antinuptial agreements to help prevent "halving" assets. There are also cohabitation agreements. Separate accounts also help prevent the co-mingling of funds and one can also file separate returns even if married. It's not that difficult to set up a "50/50" partnership if that is what two people want in life. For example, someone can have separate accounts with a "pool" account for joint responsibilities, i.e. three separate accounts.

It just appears that so-many people claim to want both "love" and an "equal" partnership, especially when they are in the "have-not" part of the relationship until they become part of the "have" partnership and are forced to provide to the "have not" or at least contribute more to the partnership/relationship.

No real big deal. Just have everyone you meet review a full-disclosure form, see an attorney, and then execute the full-disclosure form before you date them.

Then if someone is actually willing to date you after that then have them see an attorney about the cohabitation agreement, then the antinuptial/prenuptial agreement. I guess if the "date" makes it that far, the "date" is a keeper, at least for a while anyway.

Personally, dying while on the toilet may not be so bad. If the "King of Rock" can pass away while on the toilet, I couldn't see why it wouldn't be fitting for most anyone. The mess would probably be easier to clean up as well.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 98
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S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 8:23:49 PM

My mother passed away this year and i got a $2,200 cheque from the federal government to help pay funeral expense.

Does this happen in the USA?

It does, but it's 255.00 from social security. But here - or at least where we were when my husband died - a funeral was close to 10K, double that for a plot in a cemetary. Just cremation was 1,000.00.

I have some friends who think now the best way, since it's impossible to pay for rising medical costs and prohibitive to die, is to just take a long one way hike into the wilderness or a long one way boat ride out in the ocean.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 99
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 8:38:48 PM
The thing that really bothers me about health care system in the USA. I go to the doctor and he bills my insurance $200.00 and they pay him maybe $50 and I make a $10.00 copay...he gets $60.00. If one of my kids goes to the same doctor because they are students and have no full time jobs they end up with the $200.00 bill....no where else would you find this type of pricing being allowed. It is completely unfair...if the doctor can afford a $60.00 office visit cause I have insurance then he can afford it when someone without insurance comes in also...

the biggest shock was when this heart doctor suggested I take a stress test cause I was over 50 as a baseline...I thought it was where you just walk/run on the machine...ends up he set it up (he practices at the hospital where they do the stress test) for one where you just lay there and they give you a drug to stimulate the machine! His bill was $8331.00 ...they adjusted it by $7,279.87...but someone without insurance would have had to pay the full amount...There needs to be one amount that everyone pays for the same service and this taking advantage of people without insurance needs to stop! The insurance paid $976.13 and they billed me $75.00.
 bodypro88
Joined: 10/15/2011
Msg: 100
S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2011 10:15:27 PM
Personally, dying while on the toilet may not be so bad. If the "King of Rock" can pass away while on the toilet, I couldn't see why it wouldn't be fitting for most anyone. The mess would probably be easier to clean up as well.

^^^Bon Voyage!

Thank you for your information. I have been divorced in LA but it never got far enough here to really check into the legalities and it is something I wish I didn't ever have to think about. It seems a little cold, and as well I don't really trust prenups. But maybe if it ever comes down to it I can just call you up and you will talk me through the whole goddam mess since you know all about it. Divorces can be messy, expensive and traumatic. The lady in question is just now going through her own divorce proceedings.

Funny thing is that in the late eighties (1987) until the mid nineties (1996) I lived and worked in Las Vegas and part of my life there I worked as a masseur at various spas; Caesars was one. I'd get these guys on my table and they would talk and a lot of them were wealthy. One guy was a millionaire three times over. "How come?" How come he had to start over three times? Well the guy had been married three times. You would think that he would learn, but maybe he was your brother in law. You should of helped him out a little bit.

Any legal proceedings; you lose, the lawyers win.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > S/he has no health insurance. Dealbreaker?