Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 complex0ne
Joined: 10/7/2011
Msg: 26
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
OP, I've had this happen to me lots of times; as others have posted, be glad you at least got a call. Give him a second chance if you want. Either way, if you're still Facebook "friends" be sure to check his wall. He'll either post a status update about "wow, Gram had a stroke" OR "ck out these pics of me having big fun SATURDAY night!" That's how this whole online dating, social media stuff goes, they tell you one thing, but forget about all the other places you can check up on them.

Bon chance~

T
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 27
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/23/2011 1:42:55 PM
I'm going to say dump him. Giving you 2 hours notice is waiting until the last minute, he's very inconsiderate. I think he went out w/another girl & that's why he canceled on you. Rescheduling on a Wednesday night is B.S. Don't you have to work the following day? Date night is Saturday night not Wednesday night.
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 28
view profile
History
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/23/2011 1:57:46 PM

Giving you 2 hours notice is waiting until the last minute, he's very inconsiderate.


Have never met a person that had this attitude that wasn't a very selfish and caustic person. Are you different?

I needed a ride by my ex to have a routine medical procedure done. It was something that had taken several months until it was ok with insurance and Dr's and red tape to get scheduled and when it was finally able to be scheduled it went quick. I scheduled it as soon as I could, and then asked my gf if that was ok. She said it wasn't convenient for her (on a Friday) and I should schedule it for a Monday and so I did and then I told her I had scheduled it. She spent 30 minutes telling me how inconsiderate I was for not giving more notice. I really needed the ride and tried to bite my tongue but I couldn't contain. That was the last straw. I ended the relationship right there and called a friend from work. Now that attitude is a total red flag for a horrible future that I do not want in my life.

Life happens and it is rarely kind. The only thing that makes humans good is the good they do for someone other than themselves.

Maybe you are different. It could happen...
 twelfth_dimension
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 29
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/23/2011 2:00:34 PM
Ah the ol' "family emergency" excuse -- always good for a last-minute flake-out.

Did he tell you what happened? If he was telling the truth, he would give details as to why he needed to cancel at the last minute and would apologize profusely for doing so.

More likely, another girl came into the picture and he decided to push her to the front of the line, putting you on the back burner for "Wednesday" in case she doesn't pan out. He'll probably cancel Wednesday too if he doesn't need you a back-up.
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 30
view profile
History
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/23/2011 2:17:13 PM

Ah the ol' "family emergency" excuse -- always good for a last-minute flake-out.


Really? I don't date guys so I really do not have the perspective of the women I see posting on this. Are you really dating that many guys that do things like this? So much that it seems common?

If so than the guy posting in the profile reviews instructing everyone to send every attractive girl on the site a message telling them their profile pictures are not good but could be better to make them insecure and get a response is 100% accurate.

Why would this type of behavior be so attractive in the first place? Triggering your insecurity makes you vulnerable? Then you’re taken advantage but forget why it happened in the first place.
 twelfth_dimension
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 31
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/23/2011 3:04:06 PM

Really? I don't date guys so I really do not have the perspective of the women I see posting on this. Are you really dating that many guys that do things like this? So much that it seems common?

If so than the guy posting in the profile reviews instructing everyone to send every attractive girl on the site a message telling them their profile pictures are not good but could be better to make them insecure and get a response is 100% accurate.

Why would this type of behavior be so attractive in the first place? Triggering your insecurity makes you vulnerable? Then you’re taken advantage but forget why it happened in the first place.


I'm confused -- how does having the experience of guys making lame excuses reflect in any way on my security or lack thereof? It reflects poorly on them, not me. I don't find it attractive, hence why I spoke out against this sort of behavior.

In my younger days, I found out the hard way that if it sounds like a lame excuse ... it probably is. Now I reap the benefits of that hard-won knowledge. Guys still do it, I just don't put up with it. If a guy flakes on me two hours before a date and makes some lame excuse, sans details, there is no "rescheduling". I disappear and that's the end of it.

The same would apply to any guy who made negative comments about my profile/pictures. That whole "negging" approach always baffled me anyway. I'm no glutton for punishment, so if anyone tried that on me I'd be a ghost. Maybe it works on some women -- can't speak for them. Wouldn't want to be them either.
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 32
view profile
History
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/23/2011 3:19:44 PM

I'm confused -- how does having the experience of guys making lame excuses reflect in any way on my security or lack thereof? It reflects poorly on them, not me. I don't find it attractive, hence why I spoke out against this sort of behavior.


Exactly. That’s what I am confused about. Is it so common with the guys you said, "yes" to the first date to that you can spot it a mile away only after they flake on you?

I just don't get that part. Why do (you, only for example) find it so common that future dates are flaked out on?

This seems like a horrible issue that would be good to really get to the core of. Wouldn't it be better to avoid those types of people all together than to repeatedly have date after date after date seemingly repeat the same behavior.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 33
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/23/2011 3:40:12 PM
Really, do you have any reason to suspect he's lying? If he was truly not interested, would he have asked to reschedule? He did call and two hours notice is better than 20 minutes or none at all, he could have just stood you up, right? He has a family emergency and your mad because it screwed up your Saturday?
Do not go out with him again so he can be thankful he dodged a bullet!
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 34
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/23/2011 3:57:13 PM
"Did he tell you what happened? If he was telling the truth, he would give details as to why he needed to cancel at the last minute and would apologize profusely for doing so. "

Really? Why would he be obligated to give out family details? This was only a SECOND date. I wouldn't want to burden some one who could at best be described as "This girl I met on line" with details like that. Plus, where we wouldn't know each other all that well, it really wouldn't be any of her business.
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 35
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/23/2011 5:18:34 PM
he cancelled because he got going last night with maybe his family or his friends or maybe a new girl date.

give him a second chance. i fully know you like him. if he bails out again, DROP him like a bad habit.
 chromelove08
Joined: 11/17/2008
Msg: 36
view profile
History
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/23/2011 9:43:41 PM
I think he was telling the truth and if he comes back at you giving you too much information about what might of happened then he is lying. The way you can tell if someone might be lying is if they are saying TOO much. That means he had time to think of this full story to get you to believe him. Then again, he might not wanna talk about it at all because he doesn't wanna feel like he is dragging you into drama or you guys aren't that close for him to confide in you yet. Give him another shot!
 _allen_
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 37
view profile
History
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/24/2011 12:00:12 AM
OP, why are your subjecting yourself to any anguish from someone you do not know. His excuse is lame ... sounds as if someone better came alone and he place your date on the "back burner" for a later date.

Here's the thing about guys, if a guy truly interested in meeting a women, he makes time to meet the women. No excuses.
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 38
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/24/2011 12:25:15 AM
If you like him give him a second chance. He may have been genuine. Hopefully the family thing was not his wife......Can you get a background check on him?
 Boots168
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 39
view profile
History
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/24/2011 1:17:30 AM
Write him off. You stand better chance with other guys than this flaky one.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 40
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/24/2011 7:26:54 PM
Write him off... he deserves better than you.
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 41
view profile
History
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/24/2011 7:52:01 PM
Inquiring minds want to know.

What was the decision?
Are we on for Wednesday?

Must have closure. Must have closure. Must have closure.
 lovemycello123
Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 42
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/25/2011 6:30:31 PM
As of Tuesday night, we are still on for Wednesday.

He scheduled it for Wednesday because he is going out of town for work to a conference Thursday Friday and Saturday. It checked out (I looked online...LOL) We are just going to dinner and a movie.

If he cancels again I am definitely done. Will keep ya updated! Online dating is a crazy game.
 LGG62
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 43
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/25/2011 7:24:37 PM
This is only your second date and you're freaking out? I think you need to relax a bit, my friend. Shit happens, and yes, sometimes it happens on Saturday night. I spent a few Friday and Saturday nights in the hospital with my dad when I wasn't expecting to. Also, I must point out that since this is only your second date, you both can still do what you want with whomever you want. You don't own him (yet, LOL). If this becomes a habit of his, and you know that no one in his family has emergencies THAT often, then yes, dump him. He's a flake. But for now, just accept that he has a life outside of you, including other responsibilities, and that didn't stop the moment he pressed send on his first message to you. If you're acting so entitled before you even have a second date with this guy, I can only imagine how demanding you would be if you got into a relationship with him. Lay off him and let him show whether or not he's a flake, don't assume it because of one time.
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 44
view profile
History
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/26/2011 8:18:12 PM

Give him another chance. It's only fair. He could be forthright


We are all now waiting patiently for her to report back on her date tonight. Now if she does report back tonight then we can safely assume that it was 'meh' had some dinner blah blah blah...

If she doesn't report back... Ax murderer?

 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 45
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/27/2011 1:15:13 AM
Inquiring minds want know....
 recreator611
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 46
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/27/2011 7:22:43 AM
Weeeel...its your call but I was stood up by a woman without so much as a call....oh she did after the fact.....said it was some family thing....maybe the guys on the level....good luck!....and NO I didnt go out with her....no decent common courtesy deserves anything else...later
 MissStackhouse
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 47
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/27/2011 7:27:55 AM

If she doesn't report back... Ax murderer?


Alien abduction?

OK, OP - what gives? We need details!!
 lovemycello123
Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 48
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/27/2011 11:35:51 AM
It went fine! He paid for dinner, I left the tip, and he was very apologetic about canceling the other evening. We scheduled for Sunday to do dinner and a play because he will get into town Sunday morning. I am very big on manners (I am a teacher) so that was why I was so salty about him canceling so quickly on me. It was a very nice evening. He friended me on Facebook when I got home, and called to make sure I made it home (we had bad rain last night). It will be interesting to see where this ends up (if anywhere!), but online dating has taught me to have no expectations!!
 MissStackhouse
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 49
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/27/2011 12:00:12 PM
I'm glad things went well for you! Even if nothing comes out of it, just consider it a nice evening out
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 50
view profile
History
He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?
Posted: 10/27/2011 9:15:17 PM
Ok, had dinner and blah blah blah. :)
Tune in next week when.... "He said he had to work late!!!! That Lying B)(&&("

Just make sure you communicate. Don't talk about your feelings... that’s boring. Just have enough so that you trust that what he says is true and the same in reverse.

Now go back to college or finish your homework or go find a career or something. Sheesh kids today.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > He canceled the 2nd date 2 hours before!!! What gives?