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 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 26
Men and spoiling womenPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Well, I kinda think life is best enjoyed by spoiling yourself and people you like... within your means. If its causing the rent or bills not to get paid then yeah its a problem.

Life is about getting things you want and enjoying them.

If you're getting flowers daily and boxes of candy every week then he's a bonehead, those are things meant for special occasions and random rare time... they lose their meaning when you overdo them.

I kinda like saying no to a girl sometimes just to see her pout but keep what she wanted in mind for when her b-day comes around... eh but whata I know :/
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 27
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Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/24/2011 7:01:12 PM
My kids spoil me
My dogs spoil me
I spoil me
No need for a man to do it!
 frijolera_ninja
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 28
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/24/2011 7:02:01 PM
Sounds like a manipulator to me. Probably throws a tantrum and pouts and with holds sex if she doesnt get it or worse gets it from another man.
 missme2much
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 29
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/24/2011 7:20:53 PM
Spoiled???? Whats that? Can't say I've ever had that, and don't think I want it- UNLESS by spoiling you mean respecting and loving, talking with me, walking with me, laughing at me if I screw up dinner (a special sorry to my lovely daughter who turned ten today- even though I cooked the cake a little too long she smiled and said " I LOVED the cake....it was just the frosting that I couldn't handle"). Simple things like that I could handle.
 gijimmy
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 30
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/24/2011 7:21:08 PM
I think it is a fine line in a relationship. If you give too much, she sees you as a pushover and not a man's man. If you give too little then she sees you as an uncaring ***hole. That is why honesty and communication are so important.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 31
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/24/2011 7:27:25 PM

I think it is a fine line in a relationship. If you give too much, she sees you as a pushover and not a man's man. If you give too little then she sees you as an uncaring ***hole. That is why honesty and communication are so important.


It's more about making a conscious effort for discovery of those things that make your SO happy and genuinely finding pleasure in providing it. And having a SO other that thinks similarly.

Quite the "viscous circle" with a "snow ball" effect. Appreciation being the key.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 32
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Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/24/2011 7:28:29 PM

I like to spoil women-by offering them ME. What more do they need? lol.



Batteries?


^^^^AND a recharger!

 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 33
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/24/2011 7:51:58 PM
^^^ I think I know where this is headed Ladies Lol :-p
----------------------------------
But seriously,
Like one lady posted on here. Love, Respect and act right that's all everyone needs, that does not require spoilage. You don't always have to give females gifts and take them out to expensive dinners everyday. If you're always going to do that, then most females are going to expect that all the time when you take them out and some females may take advantage of it. Romance is not weakness. Men we have to know when to draw the line on giving too much. Have a spending limit and live within it. If needs aren't being met you leave. If you're spending beyond your means, stop doing it. Save your money, save your time.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 34
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/24/2011 7:56:54 PM

I was lucky enough to be spoiled a few more times in my life, the ones who did not even try to spoil me turned out to be non-loving.

Spoiling is not just about $, it's about being loving & respectful


Makes me curious whether some women spoil men they are dating. Not the ones who are married or in a committed relationship, the ones who are just dating.
 frijolera_ninja
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 35
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/24/2011 8:02:28 PM
I wont buy them expensive gifts but Ill bake or make them something special crafts or something. Maybeeeee cologne or clothes if its christmas. Im a single parent I spoil my kids even before myself!
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 36
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/24/2011 8:12:24 PM

Spoiling can be many things, not just taking them on trips, or spending money on concerts, or clothes.(I don't think you get that) It could be coming over and helping them shovel the snow from their driveway, or picking up their favorite magazine or fruit. It could be a foot massage after a long day.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Most of those things don't involve cash at all, so let's please drop the idea that spoiling someone means spending money on them.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 37
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Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/24/2011 8:17:42 PM
If she looks like Jessica Biel, then, why not?

I spoiled my last girlfriend.
Any request she wanted, she could have. (could not buy her a Ferrari, though) :)
I suppose love is like that. You want to do everything you can for her.
I even wanted to live longer than her just so she won't have the heartache of seeing me in a casket... I did everything to keep her happy and through all of our times together, not once did I upset her for any reason.

Although she didn't look like Jessica Biel, I loved her dearly and was sad to see her go...
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 38
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Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/24/2011 9:40:15 PM

Yes! Yes! Yes! Most of those things don't involve cash at all, so let's please drop the idea that spoiling someone means spending money on them.


Oh I think the matured of us already understand that. I hope. The OP I'm sure meant otherwise :)

I enjoy buying gifts for my SO more then myself. I wouldn't call that spoiling though. I don't buy affection... if I felt I had to I would know I was in a superficial relationship and would end...actually I would never be in that to begin with ;)
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 39
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/24/2011 9:52:25 PM
I hate what the word spoiled conjures.. as soon as I hear 'I would love to spoil you' or anything involving the word princess, I know immediately that me and that man would not be compatible.

To me these types of relationships are more of a buying and selling type of scenario, based on externals.. which would never be my focus.

That said, when you are in love with someone, it feels good to do sweet and special things for them. Not because you are attempting to buy (or sell for) some type of effect, but because it's a natural outpouring of a reciprocal loving relationship.
 timetogo3223
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 40
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/25/2011 6:27:36 AM
Twit of a subject.
 totalazzhole
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 41
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/25/2011 7:22:14 AM
ah, I just *KNEW* this thread would not get deleted..although obviously attention-seeking and it had 3 of 3 voting to delete, the OP is a *CUTE* girl so it 'had' to stay -men & gay women voting feverishly to keep it on

If she had been 'average' or 'fugly' -looking it would be gone

POF can be so predictable..
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 42
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Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/25/2011 7:51:49 AM
@shakti

I couldn't have said it better. Spoiling makes me feel that I'm being bought and paid for. Once in a blue moon is fine (birthdays, Valentine's Day, etc.), but any more than that would be too much. Reciprocal displays of love and affection are fine, but they don't really need to involve material items. There is a lot to be said for a home cooked meal or a back massage. I would much rather have something deeper with someone.
 runningman40
Joined: 5/26/2010
Msg: 43
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/25/2011 8:02:12 AM
It's been my experience that women who need to be spoiled probably aren't worth spoiling. A man would be better off spending that money with a pro than lavishing gifts and money on some barbie doll wannabe in return for--- wait.
How is that different from a hooker?
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 44
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Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/25/2011 8:32:40 AM
@runningman40

That's always been my view of such women. It strikes me as a form of prostitution...
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 45
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/25/2011 8:35:01 AM

ah, I just *KNEW* this thread would not get deleted..although obviously attention-seeking and it had 3 of 3 voting to delete, the OP is a *CUTE* girl so it 'had' to stay -men & gay women voting feverishly to keep it on

If she had been 'average' or 'fugly' -looking it would be gone

POF can be so predictable..


Is your problem with attractive women or just women in general.

Or is it with whomever is forcing you to...not only read...but also post twice in a thread that bugs you so much.

What I do...is use my mad TaeKwonDo skills...backfist the oppressor and wrestle the brandished gun placed at my head. Then move on to a different thread that doesn't distress me so.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 46
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/25/2011 8:41:57 AM
Well after reading the thread, and what most of you think about spoiling or what it is. I guess what I do, is more about being thoughtful and aware of who they are, what they like.

The problem with people in dating seems to be, the continous need to reduce things to their basest level. So being thoughtful, becomes fulfilling fantasies or entertaining princesses, instead of recognizing things that would make your SO happy, in small ways.

As always, the greedy seem to fuvk things up for everyone else!
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 47
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Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/25/2011 8:49:42 AM
@OyVay

For most people, the term "spoiling" conjures up images of gold-diggers, both male and female, exchanging sex and their attention for material possessions, money and status.

I think that "treating her like a lady" or another similar statement would better describe the provision of thoughtful gestures and desire to please someone that you are thinking of.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 48
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Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/25/2011 12:14:05 PM
^^^^Agreed as to those crass, superficial arrangements. Maybe they're enough to satisfy some people, but in most cases, I doubt they could make either person really happy.

In a way, it seems like each one should enjoy doing those things for the other. If either of you does *not,* and makes a habit of not holding up their end of things, they shouldn't be surprised if their partner decides to call it quits.
 getanet
Joined: 6/10/2011
Msg: 49
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/25/2011 12:59:05 PM
Without a similar level of effort on the part of the man and woman to return the favor, it would get old quickly. Materialism isn't the only way to spoil, anyway.

Do nice things? Yes. Be a human doormat? No thanks.
 modivin
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 50
Men and spoiling women
Posted: 10/25/2011 1:17:05 PM
It depends on your idea of spoiling.

You have to remember there are 5 love languages. If you care about the other person you are with, know what their language is.

Say for example a boyfriend buys his gf gifts/material objects but her love language is quality time, then she will not feel loved and he may feel unappreciated.

That is why it is important to understand the languages so that you speak to the other person's higher language. When you are in a relationship like this, I don't see it as spoiling but showing the other person you care about them.

Now...if your idea of being spoiled is a man buying you a bunch of materialistic objects, then that means your language is receiving gifts.

Personally, while presents are nice, it certainly is not my language and I have too much respect for myself and others to only be with a man because he buys me stuff.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about then here is a link for the 5 love languages

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/
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