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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Tell her I was a virgin?      Home login  
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 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 46
Tell her I was a virgin?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I don't understand why you wouldn't want to know. That's pretty big info, why hide it? But then, I try not to make decisions based in fear.. and would rather my partner feel that he can be open with me.

Revilors:
I guess I thought many women were more sentimental than that. That they may find it on the special side that they were "that" person for them.
That is how I would feel about it, but apparently many others would look at him like he's a freak because he waited so long and would rather he not tell them.

Go figure.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 47
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 10/26/2011 6:34:16 PM
I don't think the OP is a freak for waiting or not having the opportunity (as he said). But people judge and it's a crap shoot sometimes as to what the reaction of others may be. In this situation there are two reactions that first come to mind - the OP is a freak for not having sex by the time he's 30 and those that go "aaww, that is sweet". You also might get "I'm not going to be someone's first lover". I just don't think he's a freak. The gal in question, had she been told, may have run for the hills or she may have thought there was nothing wrong with it and continued on with him - but you never know. I think the OP made a good choice by not saying anything.

There was a thread on here before where a guy was whining because his gal had more sex partners than he had. He was fixated on numbers. My question would be, why would you ask someone how many people they had slept with - and why would you answer that question if it was asked. People get fixated on numbers instead of the type of human being they are with, what is their character, are they a good person. What does it matter if they had 3 sex partners or 13. It's a question that should not be asked nor answered. We all come with a history and we either learn from our past choices or we're dumb not to have.

I don't think the OP needed to tell his gal before they had sex that it would be his first time. Just let the natural progression of the relationship unfold. It seems that everything worked out and is progressing normally. If they do break up somewhere down the line it certainly won't be because he was a virgin. The gal seems happy with the sexual part of their relationship. Why rock the boat.
 tigerspawn
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 48
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 10/29/2011 1:42:45 AM
Whats the point? Whats it going to change? You are who you are. Losing your virginity doesnt change that. Waiting so long doesnt make you any less of a man. Now if she ask you how many partners you have been with I wouldnt say that shes the first. Shes going to think your lying. Your insistence that you were a virgin until you were thirty in her mind will only confirm that your lying. I would tell her that shes only one that matters.
 1usernotfound
Joined: 9/4/2011
Msg: 49
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 10/29/2011 2:03:45 AM
Tell her or not I don't think it's an issue. It was not an issue with my first partner who was in her 30's and had been with several partners and I was in my early 20's. The reality is if "She's a great girl" then it won't run her off becasue she thinks your odd. She would approach it like a great girl. With rationality, compassion, and respect. (This would be my approach)

If you don't want to tell her though it is up to you as well. I don't want it to sound harsh but your sexual past is your business that you can choose to share with the people you decide. Honesty is a good policy but would everyone be preaching honesty if you had been with 45 women? Most likely no the would say to keep it private.

Best of luck to you with your great girl.
 yabunchabums
Joined: 11/12/2011
Msg: 50
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 11/21/2011 9:11:40 AM
No one really cares about the virgin/nonvirgin thing except the one who is the virgin or those who have a fetish about it.

The only foreseeable problem is the lack of experience dealing with the opposite sex and the issues that arise when sex is involved. Everything becomes much more emotional, attached and confusing to someone who has never dealt with the situation before or those who have very few (less than five) partners/relationships. Some people actually end up marrying the first person they are with, not due to true love, but because they find that emotional connection and can't imagine ever having it with another person.

Be careful.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 51
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 11/21/2011 9:21:01 AM
I'm still a virgin. My daughters sprouted in cabbages
 free4all131220
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 52
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 11/21/2011 9:25:25 AM
if/when you do decide to tell her, tell her you stayed a virgin because you were saving it for someone as special as her. either she'll be flattered and believe it, or she'll think you're full of sh*t and you can both have a good laugh about it.

personally I don't see anything wrong with being inexperienced. It's just the stigma attached to it. People say you won't know how to please a partner, my reply to that is; if you're planning a life together you'll have a lifetime of fun trying to figure it out, and that's half the fun.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 53
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 11/21/2011 9:36:22 AM
^^ I'm curious, would you want to know that you took someone's virginity?
 gingerchick30
Joined: 11/5/2011
Msg: 54
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 11/21/2011 9:42:05 AM
I agree with the posters said about not telling her outright,but if asked, tell her and don't lie about it.

Obviously she couldn't tell that you were inexperienced, which is good. I'd say just enjoy it, and enjoy getting plenty of practice
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 55
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 11/21/2011 9:48:30 AM
Lol....I'm going to guess that you probably didn't have to tell her - an inexperienced man is pretty easy to spot from a mile away. She's probably either being very polite and not letting you know how it really was, or it's possible she's just too inexperienced to really know the difference.
 KratosSpawn
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 56
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 11/21/2011 10:38:15 AM
It seems irrelevant to even make a big deal about. You guys have something good going on...if she wants to know tell her if not just keep it hush. It can't be a deal breaker since you two have already had sex and done all that.
 free4all131220
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 57
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 11/21/2011 2:45:59 PM
shakti- yes I would, in fact it's the one unfulfilled things I've always wanted to do, and at my age I doubt it'll happen unless I do something illegal LOL
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 58
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 11/21/2011 4:50:25 PM
bmt23- Tell her. Never, ever, keep things from the person you care about.
Btw- I think she'll be fine with it. Don't stress about it. She's still with you, so.........
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 59
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 11/21/2011 5:59:21 PM


I'm curious, would you want to know that you took someone's virginity?
shakti- yes I would, in fact it's the one unfulfilled things I've always wanted to do, and at my age I doubt it'll happen unless I do something illegal LOL
I'm sorry but that is unbelievably creepy.
 free4all131220
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 60
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 11/21/2011 6:47:34 PM
whats creepy? that when I was young I wanted to be with a virgin? whats creepy about that? seemed pretty innocent to me.

as for the joke at the end that all it was, a joke. people here take things waaaaayyyy too seriously.
 DrumminD
Joined: 2/3/2011
Msg: 61
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 11/21/2011 6:58:55 PM
I tell every woman I'm a virgin the first time...
 cutenperky2
Joined: 8/2/2011
Msg: 62
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 11/21/2011 8:43:56 PM
why would you bring it up and tell her there is no need to do that. If she asks you at some point be honest if not then maybe she doesnt want to know
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 63
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 11/22/2011 9:01:29 AM

If she asks you at some point be honest if not then maybe she doesnt want to know
Can you explain this logic to me?

Why would she ask if she has no idea about it? That's like saying- hey, if she asks about you having a criminal record (or whatever) then tell her, if not just keep it to yourself. What would cause her to ask such a thing in the first place?? And seriously, why would someone NOT want to know something like this?

Would you want to know if you took someone's virginity? Someone you are in a relationship with and have feelings for?
 Flurr
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 64
view profile
History
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 12/14/2011 5:14:46 PM
So let me get this straight. You want to tell her this out of the blue, without her asking, for no apparent reason at all??? And how are you going to lose her? You didn't lie to her so she can't be mad at you for lying if she found out from a third party somehow and if you tell her and she gets made because you were a virgin then would you really want to waste your time on a **** like that? Just leave it be.
 whiteknight182
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 65
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 12/14/2011 10:02:40 PM
Do not tell her, she may think you are a loser and you may not get any out of her. Past relationships/experiences do not need to be mentioned to anyone.
 onlydateIF
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 66
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 12/14/2011 10:18:12 PM
you dont need to tell her. Ask her to show you what she likes and aim to please. Different women are different anyways, so this is just you learning about each other. No need to feel bad, ok op. Your interest and dedication is the main thing here. Be responsive for any little adjustments she verbalizes.
 bbwluvstocuddle
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 67
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 12/14/2011 11:40:19 PM
I would totally tell her. I agree with the other things people are saying by you don't want to hide anything in a relationship. Tell her get it off your chest because I am sure it is bugging you and I am sure you will feel better when you do tell her. She may be a bit upset but honestly I would feel a bit special if I was a guys first time and we were still together. It may just make her fall for you even more you never know. I can't believe how dumb some people's responses are on here... No wonder some people are single because obviously they are a bunch of liars.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 68
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 12/15/2011 5:47:27 AM

I tell every woman I'm a virgin the first time...


I tell every woman I'm a *insert woman your about to sleep with here*-virgin, because I havent had the pleasure of being with her yet.
Melts someone every time, and its so cool to see a girl go all mushy ;-)
 whiteknight182
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 69
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 12/15/2011 7:19:38 AM
Tell her you are a vurgin. You might as well tell her you wish she was your mother. Seriously telling her your a virgin sounds so desperate. Sometimes it is better not to say anything at all.
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 70
view profile
History
Tell her I was a virgin?
Posted: 12/15/2011 3:41:32 PM
If you get bigger thrills from creating drama than you do from having a great sex life with the girl you're with, then by all means, start sending vague text messages about how you "need to talk", because you have "something to tell her and you don't know how she'll feel". Then, after a few days of building up the suspense while she imagines all sorts of worst case scenarios in her mind, go to her house, sit down across from her and fidget for about 20 minutes while you perspire and stammer. Then, in your best Blair Witch trembling voice, tell her about your virginal status pre-her. (Bonus points if you can make snot drip out your nose on cue.)

Or, book the two of you on an upcoming "I've got a secret to tell you" episode of Maury Povich. That way she'll get to be on national television while you become eligible for a daytime emmy.

Or, just live your life and quit worrying about stupid stuff like that. If it was important to her, she'd push you for details, but it's most likely she doesn't care.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Tell her I was a virgin?