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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Need opinion please!!!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 19
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Need opinion please!!!Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Run Forrest RUN
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 20
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Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 10/28/2011 12:22:23 AM

It has been 3 weeks since we have done it

That's practically a third of your entire time with him. Not a good sign. You two are not sexually compatible at all. Don't underestimate how important that is. I might have suggested you coach him but he will just run off to his friends and whine. I think you should surf some profiles since you're already here.
 rsvp769
Joined: 9/3/2011
Msg: 21
Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 10/28/2011 2:57:43 AM
I think he is being selfish and seems like he cares for about himself than he cares about you. if you stay with him i see nothing but heartaches for you.
 Orgulloso
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 22
Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 10/28/2011 6:39:54 AM
OP,

Huh? What? For what it's worth, I don't recall ever turning down sex. I recall at least one occasion when the EX and I were both recovering from cold / flu and nature took its place.

Add to that being in a new relationship, the "honeymoon" phase as it were. I don't get this dude at all.

MIGHT HAVE TO KICK HIM TO THE CURB.

G
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 23
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Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 10/30/2011 2:29:03 PM
Geeze..everyone seems to miss that the OP has already admitted that sex with this man is boring? If that is going on already, what is left when the honeymoon stage wears off? Maybe I am the odd man out in my thoughts, but as though she hasn't already stated enough red flags, this one is HUGE!!!
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 24
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Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 10/30/2011 4:24:02 PM
Maybe he's got something he doesn't want to give you?

Or..he is simply not sexually compatible with you?
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 25
Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 10/31/2011 8:07:01 AM
He is cooking and wants me out of his way so I decide to go upstairs and take care of myself because I am so frustrated at this point. He come upstairs, sees what I am doing, gets mad and walks right out front door.

Who does crap like this while someone is cooking them dinner? I couldn't even imagine behaving like this.
 taoistrunner
Joined: 9/6/2011
Msg: 26
Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 10/31/2011 8:34:52 AM
You are clearly not compatible with this prude. I would think it was a ploy to get me interested if I caught my GF touching herself and it would be crazy hot!

You wouldn't have to ask twice for most guys.

This guy is not for you.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 27
Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 10/31/2011 11:17:46 AM
Not all dudes like aggressive women.. some 'turtle up' over it..

One of my boyfriends was like a woman in many ways, for instance he would punish me by withholding sex when he was upset with me for whatever reason.. but I got wise to his ways and played his opposite number..

I simply pretended I wasn't interested in having sex with him.

Worked like a charm
 suze464646
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 28
Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 11/2/2011 7:26:12 AM

So here's my armchair-psychiatrist take on things:

You subconsciously sought out this man, whom you say is "boring" and "a girl" -- hardly words most of us would use to describe a person we *choose* to be in a relationship with -- as a way to avoid dealing with your own issues. By compulsively trying to "fix" this guy who can't get a woody for you, you feel, by comparison, like a healthy person with no problems. If he ever goes away, I suspect you will compulsively go after him in order to avoid your own feelings of low self-esteem and inadequacy.

You should consult a mental-health professional about your refusal to walk away from an unhealthy situation -- and about your obsessive need to continue emasculating this poor man (for whom you seem to stress you feel nothing but contempt).


Seriously? This is your evaluation of this specific situation? I never said he couldn't get a woody for me. This post really makes me laugh. He has plenty of issues, drinking being one of them, problems with family, low self esteem on his end, etc. We are done anyhow and no I am not going to chase him due to feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem. Matter of fact, I am the one who is avoiding his calls.

Me saying he acts like a girl is due to his feelings of low self esteem as far as his body issues are concerned, telling me not to touch his fat and such. Not wanting to have sex because of his moods. Getting upset if I don't answer his calls or texts fast enough. Getting overly jealous if I talk to the guy working out next to me at the gym. Things girls usually do in relationships.

I did not subconsciously seek him out. I knew him a while back and we go to the same gym and started hanging out and talking. We have a lot in common as far as interests and goals and there was chemistry and physical attraction. I thought at the time that we could build on that. I did not know about the drinking and all the immature selfish things he did until we started spending a lot more time together. By that time I was already emotionally involved and trying to find a way to make it work for both of us. I have since walked away because I realized they are HIS issues and I cannot fix them for him. He even blames his drinking on me. Ya, I don't think so, not having that. I am not saying that I don't have any issues or that I am perfect, but I have no problem admitting when I am wrong and trying to change work on whatever that thing might be.






For the couple of you who said it was bad timing. I do agree with you to a degree. As I said though, I had tried to fool around with him 3 times in a 24 hour span at that point. I was horny that week, what can I say, it had been 3 weeks and I have a pretty decent sex drive. The last time we went through this and I kept trying (a weekend we had run into his brother that he doesn't speak to at the supermarket so he was in a terrible mood for days) he got very aggravated, so I figured I would go get it out of my system while he was cooking as to not keep pushing the subject. I didn't think it would mater if I sat on the couch the whole time watching TV or took off for 10 minutes to do that. It took him an hour and a half to make garlic bread so I figured dinner would take at least 2, didn't think he'd even notice if I disappeared for 10-15 min.

As it turns out, none of this matters as we are finished. I found out he has been talking to someone else the whole time we were dating who apparently lives far away and who he has seen in person a couple times over the past months. She has left him numerous voicemails saying how much she loves him and now they are having some major drama because she had sex with someone else and he's pissed. In one of her messages she stated that she was OK with it when he told her in Sept. that he had sex with someone else so why is he mad at her now for doing it. I assume that person he told her about in Sept. was me. I am all set with this whole scene. Sounds like the 2 of them deserve each other. The lying alone is too much for me to deal with and reason to walk.
 CountryBoy196
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 29
heres 1
Posted: 11/2/2011 6:42:26 PM
he is a fag or dont like u seek other fruit lol hes not it
 CountryBoy196
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 30
Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 11/2/2011 7:02:39 PM
i agree he maybe look at what ur offern lol
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 31
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Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 11/2/2011 10:51:17 PM
Well suze it sounds to me based on you update that he was having sex with other women and that's why his sex drive was "lower". Oh and not just with that long distance girl.....

Reflect and maybe you will see some useful info for when you screen the next guy :)
 countryboy2366
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 32
Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 11/4/2011 12:41:43 PM
You have to get while you can get it, I say!!! Sooner or later things start going on the fritz, then stop working altogether!!! i would not have ignored you for that long, but if I saw you doing yourself, it would turn me on and I would help you in more ways than one!!!
 LadyPhoenix1965
Joined: 4/29/2011
Msg: 33
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Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:12:05 PM
This could turn out to be POF Social Suicide for me, but I have to say it: It is hugely offensive to me when a man's negative behaviour is refered to as being 'girly'. This behaviour is not 'female' in nature. I'm a girl, and I would never act like this. What this poor man suffers from is simple intimidation, a fear of a real woman's natural desire to be sexually satisfied. Lots of men suffer from this weakness, but few women do....

 LadyPhoenix1965
Joined: 4/29/2011
Msg: 34
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heres 1
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:18:34 PM

he is a fag or dont like u seek other fruit lol hes not it


Very PC; nicely done. One small point of contention: All of my gay friends - without exeption - are way more open about their sexuality than my straight guy friends. Just sayin'...
 cupper3
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 35
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Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 11/4/2011 9:05:07 PM
Just a question... is it possible he "needs" to take ED drugs, and if he hasn't, cant' perform? I suspect a lot is psychological with him, but have you though this may be an issue?
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 37
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Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 11/5/2011 6:03:42 AM

I had a boyfriend once, and you might not want to hear this but... he was gay and using me as his cover :/


What's even more worrisome..is that YOU categorized him as your 'boyfriend'.
 fit2date
Joined: 9/18/2009
Msg: 38
Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 11/5/2011 6:10:43 AM
Is he a narcissist?
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 40
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Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 11/6/2011 1:12:57 AM
Men on blood pressure meds or any meds, men who jerk off the day before being with a woman, men who drink too much can not get it up.
 goodquestion
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 41
Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 11/6/2011 4:24:08 AM

Men on blood pressure meds or any meds, men who jerk off the day before being with a woman, men who drink too much can not get it up.

Lets not throw a blanket statement out over all men, not only is this far from the truth it definately does not apply to all men by any means. First off not all blood pressure meds are all the same and heve different affects with different gus. Tow as far as self service goes some guys do it because they usually get off so fast that if they do that they will last longer with there woman, never mind if they do it the day before . I would be more inclined to think that if they did it the day of. Three as for the drinking, if they get so drunk I would agree that it might happen but anyone who drinks that much would be a fool to want to attempt sex as you are so unstable how could you enjoy anything. While I said this does not apply to all guys not one of them affect me and I cant be the only gut that is like that. I would do a little fact checking before just throwing out statements with out facts.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 42
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Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 11/6/2011 7:33:10 AM
Cat*Eyes said:
Men on blood pressure meds or any meds, men who jerk off the day before being with a woman, men who drink too much can not get it up.


Say what? When I was in my 20's, I would masturbate immediately before a date, just so I wouldn't get off too quickly on the first round. I can assure you that even at the age of 60, masturbation 24 hours previously would have zero effect on my performance today.

To the OP: No one here knows you, or your BF, so all we can do is guess. My guesses would be:
1) ED (blood pressure medicine or other causes)
2) closet homosexual
3) bored with you

Abelian went into number 3 in some detail, back on page 1. I rather suspect that might be the root cause. And I also have to agree with UncleZeus -- his "guy" friends did NOT agree with him about walking out on you while you were masturbating. Not unless they are all homosexual. If one of my friends told me he walked out in anger when he caught his girl friend masturbating, I would move a little further away and give serious thought to finding some new friends.
 85250SJM
Joined: 1/26/2010
Msg: 43
Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 11/8/2011 3:25:02 PM
He is a fool. Watching a woman masturbate or even helping her is one of the sexiest things there is. Sounds like he had "issues".

Time for you to move on...

Good luck
 arkensas
Joined: 8/15/2011
Msg: 44
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Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 11/8/2011 3:56:23 PM
he seem's to be rude could of at least offered to give you a hand or joined in ,but there are plenty of fish good luck fishing the water still warm .
 ackman1465
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 45
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Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 11/17/2011 12:51:46 PM
Sounds like you wore him out in just 3 months. I guess he didn't have much "staying" power.....
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