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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > When do you give a guy your number?      Home login  
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 wildandfreee
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 76
When do you give a guy your number?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I think when you feel ready , and may be you should tell him you are nervous as well
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 77
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 1/16/2012 9:48:11 AM
The rule is to exchange 3-5 emails and then make a date to meet at a public place/restaurant right in an email.

Your feelings are correct. 93% of communication is body language which can only be observed in person. Only by meeting in person can you get a good sense of character and feel comfortable in giving out your number.

Don't ever second guess your intuition. Ask a security expert how important it is.
 02hdf150
Joined: 12/25/2011
Msg: 78
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 1/16/2012 10:37:43 AM
I have on my profile that i'll do a few emails back and forth and then i'd like to talk on the phone. I'd like to talk on the phone before the meet to make sure you sound like a woman and also to make sure you don't sound like Fran Drescher!

I always offer up my phone number first. If she still won't give me her number, then i'd have to move on.

I wonder what would happen if a woman meets a guy in public that she finds attractive and the guy gives her his number, would she call or would she let an opportunity go by because she's afraid he may have her number?
 bradythomas
Joined: 7/30/2013
Msg: 79
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/7/2013 10:40:26 AM
Don't give a guy your number unless you meet him in person about 2 or 3 time, that way if give you time for yourself if he worth giving out the number too. Remember, you want to be safe.
 bradythomas
Joined: 7/30/2013
Msg: 80
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/7/2013 10:52:49 AM
If you want to know the reason why after exchanging numbers that the guy continue to send you email, he could be a psycho path, mentally insane or just completely nut!!!! You should change your google voice number, so he doesn't bother you anymore because there are some scumbags in this world that you cannot help or reason with, that why they have a internet dating provider to help you so they can delete them out or law enforcement.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 81
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/7/2013 9:05:26 PM
In these days of caller ID , if you have called him on the phone then he already has your number . Unless you have paid to have your ID blocked when you call some one .
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 82
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/8/2013 7:25:14 AM
I like to exchange numbers before a date / meeting. A phone conversation is not mandatory. But I like to have her number in case one of us is late due to traffic, getting lost, an earlier commitment ending later than expected etc. If a woman doesn't want to give her real number, buy a cheap prepaid cell phone and just use it for internet dating.
 WittyMinute
Joined: 7/5/2013
Msg: 83
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/8/2013 8:55:48 PM
Because I don't really like having to go online and click around and enter a password to get a message from POF, I ask for his number. Obviously, this is only if I feel some sort of connection with him. This usually happens in about 5 or 6 emails. When the emails are coming quickly, it's because we are both excited by a potential connection and wouldn't it be more effective to just talk?

The other reason I like talking before meeting is to determine if we enjoy conversing with each other. Voice, timbre, vocabulary, wit, rhythm and etc. I met someone without talking on the phone first and it felt like we'd skipped a step; he interrupted more than I do :). I would have known this had we spoken and would have politely said that maybe we weren't a good match.

With online dictionaries, a roommate who writes well, all the time in the world to compose a message...you'll never really know who you're typing to.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 84
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When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/9/2013 1:51:32 AM
WittyMinute, you make some good points. Your post showed me how valid our individual experiences and preferences are when it comes to the timing of giving out phone numbers.
It all depends on your personal situation and life style. For example, what is the geographic proximity you are willing to meet potential dates? What is your preferred choice of communication? How comfortable you are revealing personal information before actually meeting someone in person, your work schedule etc...


When the emails are coming quickly, it's because we are both excited by a potential connection and wouldn't it be more effective to just talk?
Yes and no. It’s more effective than e-mail for sure but less effective than in person. I have done this and found that I didn’t feel good about getting my hopes up because of a good conversation over the phone and than found out that there was 0 physical connection. It didn’t feel good to invest time, energy and effort into bonding with someone over the phone before meeting in person.



The other reason I like talking before meeting is to determine if we enjoy conversing with each other. Voice, timbre, vocabulary, wit, rhythm and etc. I met someone without talking on the phone first and it felt like we'd skipped a step; he interrupted more than I do :). I would have known this had we spoken and would have politely said that maybe we weren't a good match.
I understand your point of view and that this works for you but for me it wouldn’t work because I don’t really want any sort of attachment without meeting in person. So the ability to converse with someone really well over the phone would mean nothing to me if it turn out a chemistry or a real life human connection is not to be made after we meet. For this reason I might as well meet in person for a short time. I don’t feel the need to hide behind the phone when I can find out so much more about someone in person than just hearing their voice.


The thing is, if someone has the chance to see how you move when you converse, make eye contact and be attracted to you based on experiencing you face to face, maybe he would never in a million years interrupt you in the first place.

To me, meeting in person serves the same purpose as talking over the phone for you, except that I get to experience the person in real life, not how I imagine the person based on his voice and communication skills with a stranger. A pleasant and mutual flow of conversation can develop in person when there is mutual attraction while over the phone this may never happen because you ultimately don’t know who you’re talking to. Just a thought and a counter argument.
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 85
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/9/2013 3:58:27 AM
Pre paid phone at any chain drug store is only $10 and monthly charges for 750 mins is only $25.

Doesn't interfere with regular phone and doesn't pose a threat of personal information being connected through the number.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 86
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/9/2013 6:44:45 AM
After a couple emails, we talk on the phone before ever meeting. For me, it is a process, you see the profile, you obviously are interested, send a couple emails and then talk. There are a number of times that I am not interested after talking to a woman. No way would I meet someone without talking on the phone. And none of this gets dragged out if you are going to meet.
 WittyMinute
Joined: 7/5/2013
Msg: 87
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/9/2013 12:35:54 PM
Actually, Happy, your points are just as valid. I'm just wondering if men think "meeting up" might mean something for him that it doesn't for me yet. Is there ever a time that he feels that meeting face to face means you already like him? I think my other reason is I talk a lot and I'm pretty articulate. Maybe subconsciously, I'm giving him an out over the phone. Kind of like a chance to think, geez she's pretty cool but she talks too much; or maybe thinking "what does that word mean?" Please, any one here, don't take my statements about vocab or whatever to mean anything beyond these being important to me.

On the other side of this coin, sometimes someone will just not talk enough. I had an eighteen year relationship with someone who didn't talk much. I began to feel like I was just hearing myself for fun -- "You don't need to respond, I just want to say this stuff..." and he'd look at me, thinking thank god...not in the mood to process her.

I've been here for about six weeks. By no means am I undulated by interested people; I've only gone beyond the "...wants to meet you!!" phase twice, both of whom I met. Talked to one and not the other. One wasn't 'interesting' enough. Couldn't process at my speed, not very articulate (sorry, these are big ones for me). The second and I had a great time talking and just didn't click in person. The one thing I know not to do is have a long time of typing or talking before meeting. I've been checking out these forums and agree that that would certainly lend itself to developing expectations that possibly won't pan out over a quick cup of coffee. At any rate, not until you meet someone will you know if there is anything there.

As an aside, "...wants to meet you!!" is kind of too open a book for me. I always want to type back "Why?" lol
 PS_4
Joined: 4/2/2013
Msg: 88
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When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/10/2013 7:18:30 AM
Right away......
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 89
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When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/10/2013 8:11:16 AM
I always move from emails to phone/text. No way would I ever meet without this. I wouldn't feel safe. Furthermore I've learned that moving to phone/text communication is just another way to filter out people whom you really wouldn't want to meet anyway.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 90
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/10/2013 9:08:06 AM
I would suggest that people give their cell number out when they want someone to have the ability to contact them by phone. Also consider that someone who doesn't have your cell number is going to have a hard time letting you know if they are running late for your meeting or if something unexpected will prevent them from meeting at all.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 91
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When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/10/2013 10:19:15 AM

Pre paid phone at any chain drug store is only $10 and monthly charges for 750 mins is only $25.

Wow really? I had no idea. LOL. Just kidding of course but puzzled that you thought it might be news to some. There are also books on how to understand and accept other peoples point of view and preference.

Why would I want to get a prepaid phone if I already have a phone? I’d rather be sincere and give out my number when I WANT to. For some people it’s not a matter of being cautious but doing exactly what they want when they are ready for it, even if complete strangers may except something else from you.

I totally understand and respect why Witty prefers phone conversations before meeting just as I can relate to wordsmith. Which ever preference anyone has, phone first, in person first, or pre paid phone first. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that what ever you choose you do because you feel comfortable doing so, not because it’s expected of you.
 soccerr_ddream
Joined: 8/9/2013
Msg: 92
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/14/2013 11:53:53 AM
I think you need to wait until you are comfortable with the guy. emails is the best way to start
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 93
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/15/2013 5:50:46 AM

Wow really? I had no idea. LOL. Just kidding of course but puzzled that you thought it might be news to some. There are also books on how to understand and accept other peoples point of view and preference.


It is news to some, even if not to you, and I'm sure not nearly as puzzled as I am that you seem to think my post was directed towards or about you in any way shape of form.


Why would I want to get a prepaid phone if I already have a phone? I’d rather be sincere and give out my number when I WANT to. For some people it’s not a matter of being cautious but doing exactly what they want when they are ready for it, even if complete strangers may except something else from you.


I don't know and I really don't care and you can save your higher moral ground or what ever it is you are using to elevate yourself above my post for someone that's actually replying to "you".

I totally understand and respect why Witty prefers phone conversations before meeting just as I can relate to wordsmith. Which ever preference anyone has, phone first, in person first, or pre paid phone first. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that what ever you choose you do because you feel comfortable doing so, not because it’s expected of you.

Well now if that were actually true, you wouldn't have found the need to make such condescending comments in reply to my post, which was in no way a reflection of myself but a simple offering of another choice people can make in their dating lives.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 94
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When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/15/2013 1:14:38 PM
Yes it’s true that I can relate to Witty and wordsmith. Why not? I responded to the last few people in the post you happened to be one of them. I’m sorry if my response to you was condescending but it was the appropriate response to a condescending message. Your comment had nothing to do with the discussion as no one complained about the need to be cautious. We were discussing comfort. No one asked you where to find prepaid phones and everyone knows about them. How condescending of you not to give people enough credit. How even more condescending not to read responses and blurt out irrelevant info and then complain that it wasn’t directed at anyone or to assume I thought it was directed at me.

Anyway, thanks for telling us the sky is is blue. I’m sure those phones come in handy when you wanna hide your number from someone, however, completely out of context.
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 95
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/15/2013 3:37:03 PM
Those phones come in handy when you are meeting people and really don't want to have to deal with misjudging someone that blows your phone up and can't take a hint like "get lost".

Now you may have a perfect track record and have never given your number to that type, but you are probably the only person I've ever met that hasn't. some to the extent that they had to change their number. When I ask them why not just use a prepaid phone they either say they've never thought of it or they believed them to be to expensive.

To be honest, the main reason I find your reply so damned funny is where it's posted.

Take a look around at the many threads and replies in them. We have 50 somethings asking if it's ok to meet someone they have been chatting with in person, we have 40 somethings asking if the date they had 3 days ago really liked them, we have 30 somethings asking if they should take back the partner that's been cheating on them for months, and yet you still have enough faith in those same people to think "everyone" already knows about prepaid phones.. But the sky is blue right ?

That's funny shit right there, I don't care who you are.

With an e-mail address I can find out just about anything I want to know about a person, including their address and phone number, and the same goes for a phone number. I can even find out about family members and kids with either of those two things. Talk about "comfort"... But the sky is blue right ?

I can google many pic's from profiles and get the same information, but the sky is blue right ?


When I date, I make it clear that the number I give out is a prepaid phone and keep no secrets about it, and if by chance they have a problem with it and fail to understand why I wait to give them my other number then they obviously lack the common sense needed or are way to damned paranoid for me in the first place. Which only validates using the phone even further.

With a prepaid phone there is never a reason to feel uncomfortable about giving out my number.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 96
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When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/16/2013 12:40:35 AM
And that is why I said, "Which ever preference anyone has, phone first, in person first, or pre paid phone first. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that what ever you choose you do because you feel comfortable doing so, not because it’s expected of you."

Prepaid phones have been around for ever and they are useful for many people. We agree on that. The topic of this thread is NOT how should I communicate or what type of phone should I use. It is when do you give out your phone number?

If people are concerned about privacy but feel it is necessary to speak over the phone before one is ready to give out their number, a prepaid phone may be useful. I'm sure people are smart enough to get one if they want to.

If people don't use phones to meet people than a prepaid phone may not be useful to them. One way is not better than the other. It's an individual choice.

I understand the benefits of prepaid phones, believe me. But if I don’t trust someone enough to give out my number (which is perfectly okay btw) I would rather get to know them first until I feel comfortable enough to exchange real numbers. This is just me being totally organic and transparent with my feelings and in harmony with my life style. I don’t like to talk on the phone and I can save time getting to know someone more effectively in person in a public place. I don't have any use for prepaid phones for dating purposes because I give out my real number when I'm ready. You do what you do for the reasons you listed. Someone else does something entirely different. It's all good.
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 97
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/16/2013 4:52:33 AM
I was simply offering an alternative which could possibly help "someone" find security and comfort in giving out their number, which in return could end the need for people to ask "when do I".

But please carry on, this has taken on a life of itself and I've got to say it's pretty damned funny and in a sad way entertaining at the same time. That tends to happen when someone takes something that has absolutely nothing to do with them and try to make it all about them.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 98
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When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/18/2013 4:54:29 PM
I was simply offering an alternative which could possibly help "someone" find security and comfort in giving out their number, which in return could end the need for people to ask "when do I".
It's not your job to fix people and make them stop asking questions. So stop making it about you and what you want and projecting things. Based on your posting history you find many comments that are not yours funny and amusing. I don't think OP started this thread for your amusement or so you stop people from asking questions but carry on. It's about you after all, right? Like any other thread that you post.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 99
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/18/2013 5:08:26 PM
I haven't read the entire thread, only the OPs original post, and I see an oxymoron here. He gave her his number but she's nervous giving her number to him. I got that. But she won't call him because the man is suppose to do the pursuing which he can't do without her phone number. Maybe he's not be an "endless string of emails" kind of guy.

Does anyone know if the OP and the guy ever talked? And did they ever meet or was she nervous about that, too?
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 100
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/19/2013 2:25:30 PM

It's not your job to fix people and make them stop asking questions. So stop making it about you and what you want and projecting things. Based on your posting history you find many comments that are not yours funny and amusing. I don't think OP started this thread for your amusement or so you stop people from asking questions but carry on. It's about you after all, right? Like any other thread that you post.


Of course I find many of the comments posted amusing. I find some terrifying and others make me feel even better about myself, but the majority of comments make me laugh.

It's funny enough in real life to have someone misunderstand something you say, or spin what you say and go on a tirade, but it's hilarious when people do it with text.
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