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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > When do you give a guy your number?      Home login  
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 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 93
When do you give a guy your number?Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Wow really? I had no idea. LOL. Just kidding of course but puzzled that you thought it might be news to some. There are also books on how to understand and accept other peoples point of view and preference.


It is news to some, even if not to you, and I'm sure not nearly as puzzled as I am that you seem to think my post was directed towards or about you in any way shape of form.


Why would I want to get a prepaid phone if I already have a phone? I’d rather be sincere and give out my number when I WANT to. For some people it’s not a matter of being cautious but doing exactly what they want when they are ready for it, even if complete strangers may except something else from you.


I don't know and I really don't care and you can save your higher moral ground or what ever it is you are using to elevate yourself above my post for someone that's actually replying to "you".

I totally understand and respect why Witty prefers phone conversations before meeting just as I can relate to wordsmith. Which ever preference anyone has, phone first, in person first, or pre paid phone first. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that what ever you choose you do because you feel comfortable doing so, not because it’s expected of you.

Well now if that were actually true, you wouldn't have found the need to make such condescending comments in reply to my post, which was in no way a reflection of myself but a simple offering of another choice people can make in their dating lives.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 94
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When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/15/2013 1:14:38 PM
Yes it’s true that I can relate to Witty and wordsmith. Why not? I responded to the last few people in the post you happened to be one of them. I’m sorry if my response to you was condescending but it was the appropriate response to a condescending message. Your comment had nothing to do with the discussion as no one complained about the need to be cautious. We were discussing comfort. No one asked you where to find prepaid phones and everyone knows about them. How condescending of you not to give people enough credit. How even more condescending not to read responses and blurt out irrelevant info and then complain that it wasn’t directed at anyone or to assume I thought it was directed at me.

Anyway, thanks for telling us the sky is is blue. I’m sure those phones come in handy when you wanna hide your number from someone, however, completely out of context.
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 95
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/15/2013 3:37:03 PM
Those phones come in handy when you are meeting people and really don't want to have to deal with misjudging someone that blows your phone up and can't take a hint like "get lost".

Now you may have a perfect track record and have never given your number to that type, but you are probably the only person I've ever met that hasn't. some to the extent that they had to change their number. When I ask them why not just use a prepaid phone they either say they've never thought of it or they believed them to be to expensive.

To be honest, the main reason I find your reply so damned funny is where it's posted.

Take a look around at the many threads and replies in them. We have 50 somethings asking if it's ok to meet someone they have been chatting with in person, we have 40 somethings asking if the date they had 3 days ago really liked them, we have 30 somethings asking if they should take back the partner that's been cheating on them for months, and yet you still have enough faith in those same people to think "everyone" already knows about prepaid phones.. But the sky is blue right ?

That's funny shit right there, I don't care who you are.

With an e-mail address I can find out just about anything I want to know about a person, including their address and phone number, and the same goes for a phone number. I can even find out about family members and kids with either of those two things. Talk about "comfort"... But the sky is blue right ?

I can google many pic's from profiles and get the same information, but the sky is blue right ?


When I date, I make it clear that the number I give out is a prepaid phone and keep no secrets about it, and if by chance they have a problem with it and fail to understand why I wait to give them my other number then they obviously lack the common sense needed or are way to damned paranoid for me in the first place. Which only validates using the phone even further.

With a prepaid phone there is never a reason to feel uncomfortable about giving out my number.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 96
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When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/16/2013 12:40:35 AM
And that is why I said, "Which ever preference anyone has, phone first, in person first, or pre paid phone first. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that what ever you choose you do because you feel comfortable doing so, not because it’s expected of you."

Prepaid phones have been around for ever and they are useful for many people. We agree on that. The topic of this thread is NOT how should I communicate or what type of phone should I use. It is when do you give out your phone number?

If people are concerned about privacy but feel it is necessary to speak over the phone before one is ready to give out their number, a prepaid phone may be useful. I'm sure people are smart enough to get one if they want to.

If people don't use phones to meet people than a prepaid phone may not be useful to them. One way is not better than the other. It's an individual choice.

I understand the benefits of prepaid phones, believe me. But if I don’t trust someone enough to give out my number (which is perfectly okay btw) I would rather get to know them first until I feel comfortable enough to exchange real numbers. This is just me being totally organic and transparent with my feelings and in harmony with my life style. I don’t like to talk on the phone and I can save time getting to know someone more effectively in person in a public place. I don't have any use for prepaid phones for dating purposes because I give out my real number when I'm ready. You do what you do for the reasons you listed. Someone else does something entirely different. It's all good.
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 97
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/16/2013 4:52:33 AM
I was simply offering an alternative which could possibly help "someone" find security and comfort in giving out their number, which in return could end the need for people to ask "when do I".

But please carry on, this has taken on a life of itself and I've got to say it's pretty damned funny and in a sad way entertaining at the same time. That tends to happen when someone takes something that has absolutely nothing to do with them and try to make it all about them.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 98
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When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/18/2013 4:54:29 PM
I was simply offering an alternative which could possibly help "someone" find security and comfort in giving out their number, which in return could end the need for people to ask "when do I".
It's not your job to fix people and make them stop asking questions. So stop making it about you and what you want and projecting things. Based on your posting history you find many comments that are not yours funny and amusing. I don't think OP started this thread for your amusement or so you stop people from asking questions but carry on. It's about you after all, right? Like any other thread that you post.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 99
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/18/2013 5:08:26 PM
I haven't read the entire thread, only the OPs original post, and I see an oxymoron here. He gave her his number but she's nervous giving her number to him. I got that. But she won't call him because the man is suppose to do the pursuing which he can't do without her phone number. Maybe he's not be an "endless string of emails" kind of guy.

Does anyone know if the OP and the guy ever talked? And did they ever meet or was she nervous about that, too?
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 100
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/19/2013 2:25:30 PM

It's not your job to fix people and make them stop asking questions. So stop making it about you and what you want and projecting things. Based on your posting history you find many comments that are not yours funny and amusing. I don't think OP started this thread for your amusement or so you stop people from asking questions but carry on. It's about you after all, right? Like any other thread that you post.


Of course I find many of the comments posted amusing. I find some terrifying and others make me feel even better about myself, but the majority of comments make me laugh.

It's funny enough in real life to have someone misunderstand something you say, or spin what you say and go on a tirade, but it's hilarious when people do it with text.
 jplat90
Joined: 7/22/2013
Msg: 101
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/20/2013 12:31:06 PM
I'm a dude. Never give out a number when you are uncomfortable. Google his number. If something weird or negative pops up, forget it. If you're truly interested tell him when and where to meet before giving your number. Somewhere public.
 wolvesatthedoor
Joined: 5/8/2013
Msg: 102
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 8/20/2013 1:27:18 PM
Back in the late seventies and early eighty's it was my experience that when you met someone you liked, you'd ask them for their number and yes /no was your answer. If they were interested you'd get it. Of course back then you would meet in person at whatever venue in the first place, no hiding behind a monitor like today.
 AskMeIwillTell
Joined: 8/3/2013
Msg: 103
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 9/3/2013 9:47:40 PM
Exactly.


If you are worried....prepaid or google voice.

That simple.

If you are that scared, maybe ONLINE dating is not for you or just dating period lol
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 104
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When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 9/4/2013 1:18:38 AM
Back in the late seventies and early eighty's it was my experience that when you met someone you liked, you'd ask them for their number and yes /no was your answer. If they were interested you'd get it. Of course back then you would meet in person at whatever venue in the first place, no hiding behind a monitor like today.


Exactly! It’s that’s simple for me too.
A question is a question, not an entitlement to a desired answer.
Until I meet someone in person I’m not interested in having a conversation with their voice.



If you are that scared, maybe ONLINE dating is not for you or just dating period lol
Some people are worried, some are just not interested in bonding over the phone before meeting. Not really fair to assume everyone not giving out their number before meeting is “WORRIED” or “SCARED”. If you’re that judgmental maybe dating is not for you.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 105
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 9/4/2013 10:36:57 AM
I would think you would give a man your number when you want to talk to him ? Unless that is to much to comprehend , to many little bs games people play now . With all the games women play is it any wonder why they are attracting so many players ?
 weskul86
Joined: 8/21/2013
Msg: 106
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 9/6/2013 6:04:39 PM
Keep messaging him if u are unsure of giving ur number. I regret "asking" for a number. But u see, when a guy likes u or doesn't want to lose touch, it is only normal that he asks for another way of contact outside of this site.
 fedexmale
Joined: 8/24/2013
Msg: 107
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 9/8/2013 12:41:16 PM
HappySingleSpirit is telling you what a lot of women want... if you guys don't want to believe it, then I guess you can date only women who will give out their number online, and cut your dating pool down a little.

But the fact remains, a lot of women won't give you the number online. And again, you don't need it, you can set up a meet in a message.
 Noonie504
Joined: 7/4/2009
Msg: 108
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When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 9/8/2013 4:47:56 PM
I would say a 2 week minimum and at least 20 messages received.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 109
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When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 9/17/2014 9:13:40 PM
The very first woman that I 'connected' with on POF..........................we e-mailed for about a week. I wrote, asking her if she would be receptive to a telephone conversation? I specifically wrote, asking for her cell number. I see no point in endless (2 weeks max) "back and forth" e-mails.............where, for all I know, I am e-mailing a bored 16-year old or a 400 lb female powerlifter, from a former Soviet bloc country. No catfish.

She ignored my request. Just kept on e-mailing as if I'd never asked. I went with the flow.

I found it slightly irritating....................because I am old enough to remember "back in the day", when it was common to meet a random woman out somewhere, the two of you literally had interacted for a matter of minutes, I would ask for her number, and she would give out her HOME landline #,..............(or not), and, that was difficult to change, if needed.

No 'rocket surgery' was involved, "back in the day".............before the world turned upside down (and @$$ backwards).

Anyway, a day or two later, I was home sick. I mentioned it in an e-mail. Then, all of a sudden ( 24 or 48 hours after I asked for her cell number), she sends me an e-mail, asking that I call her, ON HER WORK PHONE.

I wrote to her, "I don't like to call people at work, because different employers are funny about personal calls." AND, "An initial call to someone at work is NOT at all conducive to setting any kind of flirtatious/light-hearted, romantic vibe." Not to mention...............why in the blue hell would you want to give a complete stranger your work #? Add in, my being under the weather, and this was a recipe for 'disaster'. She writes back, "Oh no, it's O.K. I'm the big boss woman here. It's not a problem."

It goes without typing, that our 10 minute conversation was filled with people constantly interrupting her. It did wonders for creating sexual energy and a flirtatious, light-hearted vibe. Then, after multiple interruptions, she says, "You were right." and gives me her cell number. We spoke twice after that. Conversations that had all the warmth of a business transaction.

All the hesitancy of giving out her cell number, but she turns around and offers her work number like handing out candy. Yeah, let me hand out the one number that I CANNOT change.

Zero thought-process.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 110
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 9/17/2014 9:31:13 PM
HappySingleSpirit is telling you what a lot of women want... if you guys don't want to believe it, then I guess you can date only women who will give out their number online, and cut your dating pool down a little.

But the fact remains, a lot of women won't give you the number online. And again, you don't need it, you can set up a meet in a message.


The vast majority of women that I talked from dating to were willing to give their number before a date / meeting. I had dates with a few women without exchanging numbers. But that was the exception. In general I prefer exchanging numbers before a date / meeting in case someone is late because of traffic or getting lost, or they needed to postpone the date at the last minute.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 111
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When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 9/17/2014 9:45:54 PM
Didn't read through the responses of the thread.

Never had a woman on, or offline, propose a meeting, while refusing to give out her number. I would not meet up with anyone, where I don't have their telephone number. Doesn't matter what she looks like. That just seems like a flake, just waiting to happen. It doesn't make any sense to me. We're not a match, right from the gate.

I am sure it happens (like people getting struck by lightening and Powerball Lotto winners), but I am surprised that so many women seem to claim guys who keep calling and calling and calling.

Hmmmm, interesting.
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 112
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 9/18/2014 6:59:56 AM
When should you give a guy your number? Wait for at least 24 hours and at least 3-5 emails.. and the most important part, only when you like him and have a good impression of him, and perceive no red flags... if you feel something is wrong, it probably is - don't take the chance. You don't want to get a nasty man or a stalker - they can be hard to get rid of. Intuition/gut feelings are the name of the game.

However, it's not even necessary to give your number out online if you don't want to.... you can always set up a first meet through messages. Google Voice is also an alternative.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 113
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When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 9/18/2014 7:26:18 AM

From my experience, the more desperate, the sooner the woman gives out her phone number. Maybe just tell him you aren't comfortable if you aren't yet.


Nice! If you give it out, you're considered desperate. If you don't then you're "with holding"! Damned if you do....

Anyways, I'm NOT desperate I just don't like typing/messaging/texting...and would prefer to talk on the phone, less misunderstanding that wa.y Plus if I don't like a man's voice, that CAN be a "deal breaker" for me...Hey! We ALL have our quirks...lol
I've done the OLD thing for sometime now and have given my number out to MANY people and NEVER had a problem.
Of course, a cel phone #is a better idea than a home phone #....
You're going to do what you want to do anyway, despite what any of US have to say...so, good luck!
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 114
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 9/18/2014 7:26:25 AM
"Wait for at least 24 hours and at least 3-5 emails.. and the most important part, only when you like him and have a good impression of him, and perceive no red flags.."



And.....don't forget to consult a psychic or magic eight ball (usually cheaper) !


Sorry couldn't resist teasing!


Short answer.....when I decide I like him and he asks!
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 115
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 9/18/2014 7:27:01 AM

However, it's not even necessary to give your number out online if you don't want to.... you can always set up a first meet through messages. Google Voice is also an alternative.


Not for me. I had one rule. No number, no date. And I am not one that likes to talk to strangers on the phone forever. So I would say something funny and indicated that it was so in case one or the other were going to be late, we could call.
 BeachKitty78
Joined: 9/12/2014
Msg: 116
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 9/18/2014 11:14:08 AM
Great timing on this question-I was wondering the same thing. I use KIK. That way he doesn't have my personal information until I am more comfortable with him. That way we can have instant communication as opposed to POF or e-mail so it is a bit more intimate but not yet personal. If that makes sense. I find some guys just stop talking to me if we message for a few days and I haven't given him my number. I can't help it. I haven't dated in a very long and I am a very private person. I find it hard to connect online but don't want to keep meeting guys after just a few days of chatting. They act like they have 10 other girls waiting and I am wasting their time. I have even been accused of being fake. I feel like it may take me a few weeks to decide if I want to meet up...I'm wondering if that is too long :(
 Zippydidoodah
Joined: 9/13/2014
Msg: 117
When do you give a guy your number?
Posted: 9/21/2014 7:34:49 PM
We have our pics on this site and our likes/dislikes, etc. Anyone in the cyberworld can get our number! I find most guys I am interested in don't want to type long messages! Give him your number!
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