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 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 123
Replying To Messages When Not Romantically InterestedPage 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
When I'm not interested, I'll say so....
If I am....it's..:
^^^Your place...or Mine..??^^^
 GooFish
Joined: 9/15/2011
Msg: 124
Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/15/2011 10:31:18 PM
It is an ego thing for a woman not to respond to your message. It is their way getting back at all the men who dumped them. When a woman does not write me back, that just tells me who she feels about herself and how she treats others with no respect. When someone e-mails me that I am not interested in, I respond back with a polite message maybe saying why we would not be a good match and sincerely wish them the best finding that special person.
 Home_for_30
Joined: 2/6/2010
Msg: 127
Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/16/2011 6:21:54 AM
Atleast it's not the dreaded UNREAD/DELETED.....haha
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 129
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Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/16/2011 2:46:00 PM

DESPITE WHAT PEOPLE WANT TO BELIEVE, NO RESPONSE IS A RESPONSE. a RESPONSE OF I AM NOT INTERESTED IN TALKING TO YOU.


Very well said and to the point. Thanks.

You guys rock!
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 130
Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/16/2011 4:34:53 PM
even a polite rejection personally and feel the need to lash out at the person that is not interested


Actually I dont take rejection in a nice logical message badly at all.

As long as its done with class and tact.



But I do notice that not a single one of you will aknowledge or give a suggestion on when a person says something rude (like call a woman a $2 whore because she was not interested).


Ya; that's pretty low.

A guy should have enough respect to read a profile to see if they match enough.


And if their interests, livelihood and lifestyle align 85% to 100% with the interests of the other person? Unless there is an obvious mismatch physically; how could it not be worth investigating in real life?
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 131
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Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/16/2011 6:18:48 PM

Actually I dont take rejection in a nice logical message badly at all.

As long as its done with class and tact.

Not responding is polite and tactful. You just want more. Sorry sir, you just do not get to control how other people, especially starngers act.


Ya; that's pretty low.

Yes it is, but it's also quite common. It's the same thing that you have done through out this thread. She did not respond to you how you wanted, so you blast them here by saying crappy things about them and making up silly stories about how infereior they must really be. You also do not offer any sort of suggestion to counter or fix the situation. As far as YOU are concerned it is perfectly all right for people to have to put up with that sort of abuse so that they can message YOU back a 'Thank you, but no thank you" message.


And if their interests, livelihood and lifestyle align 85% to 100% with the interests of the other person? Unless there is an obvious mismatch physically; how could it not be worth investigating in real life?

Well because they saw your picture and decided that there was an obvious mismatch physically. But even beyond that they were simply not interested. THEY WERE NOT INTERESTED!! NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO TRY AND RATIONALIZE WHY THEY SHOULD BE INTERESTED. WHY THE SHOULD GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE. WHY THEY SHOULD MESSAGE YOU. WHY YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD BE A GOOD MATCH.

THEY.
ARE.
NOT.
INTERESTED.

It's not worth investigating because even though YOU are interested, they are not interested. Hey, you know how other and over on this thread people have stated that they have sent polite messages saying no thank you, but the guy just will keep trying. That is what you are doing here. They say no, but instead of respecting and accepting their obvious lack of interest, you are asking why they should not keep investigating someone when they are not interested. You are demanding that they message you and have some level of conversation with you when they are obviously not interested in ANY level of conversation with you.
Frankly you guys that are trash talking the women that do not respond here, that are demanding a response even though you PLAINLY see what happens when they give one, are the EXACT reason why they do not respond. All the self righteous whining and complaining because they did not hold your hand and tell you that everything is all right when they did not find you interesting enough is the reason why women do not respond with a nice polite rejection message. Frankly, despite what you say, what you say here show that you simply can not handle it.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 132
Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/16/2011 6:55:41 PM

It's the same thing that you have done through out this thread.

I did?

Can you show me where?

I'm not sure I called anyone a name specifically; accep[t to say that many are lazy and choose on pics alone, though they are desperately seeking someone who fits their ads listed wants


As far as YOU are concerned it is perfectly all right for people to have to put up with that sort of abuse so that they can message YOU back a 'Thank you, but no thank you" message.


How does A equate to B again?


Well because they saw your picture and decided that there was an obvious mismatch physically. But even beyond that they were simply not interested. THEY WERE NOT INTERESTED!! NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO TRY AND RATIONALIZE WHY THEY SHOULD BE INTERESTED. WHY THE SHOULD GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE. WHY THEY SHOULD MESSAGE YOU


You dont have a heart condition by any chance do you?



Ok; where did I say I message back about why they should be interested again? [Hint: I didnt]

Slow down....breeeaath skippy...breeeeath.


Hey, you know how other and over on this thread people have stated that they have sent polite messages saying no thank you, but the guy just will keep trying. That is what you are doing here.


I'm trying to get you interested in me? (really?)

Between you and I; are you maybe just mad cause the dumb boys wont shut up and let your word be the gospel? (maybe?)

 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 134
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Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/16/2011 8:47:09 PM

Can you show me where?

I'm not sure I called anyone a name specifically; accep[t to say that many are lazy and choose on pics alone, though they are desperately seeking someone who fits their ads listed wants

Well I could simply go with where you say that you do it yourself but also...

Many who have not responded to me have turned out in later pictures to be "way" not what their initial pics or profile projected, and below the level I am used to dating anyways. In many cases; they are a customer service rep with 3 kids with two or three dads or something similar.

Whatever; people are what they are and we all look at "class" as something different.



Yes; I see them as less classy or life available than I wish for



Who's usually well aware that they are rude....and food, and see through;



Oh I now; they're just lazy, and possibly stupid.

Those are examples of you calling them names.


How does A equate to B again?

A equates to B, because people make it clear that they leave nice and polite rejection messages and get rude/insulting/aggressive messages in return and do not want to deal with it so they do not respond any more. Yet you insist that them not responding to you with a rejection message is some how rude and that they should do so, despite the fact that much of the time when they do, they have to endure this behaviour. That is how A equates to B.


Ok; where did I say I message back about why they should be interested again? [Hint: I didnt]

Slow down....breeeaath skippy...breeeeath.

Where did I say that YOU message them back to ask that. Now I DO that you do make it quite clear here that you feel that they should read your profile and give you a chance because YOU feel that there may be an %85 match in interests.

And if their interests, livelihood and lifestyle align 85% to 100% with the interests of the other person? Unless there is an obvious mismatch physically; how could it not be worth investigating in real life?



I'm trying to get you interested in me? (really?)

Between you and I; are you maybe just mad cause the dumb boys wont shut up and let your word be the gospel? (maybe?)

It would not surprise me. But what it is that you are doing here is simply not accepting that someone that you are interested inhas no interest in talking to you so you attempt to rationalize why they should give you more of a chance, you call them names (like stupid and lazy) and not accept that you simply did not cut the mustard for them.
Now as for the taking my word as gospel part... meh. I like to think that I am right most of the time, but in this case it has nothing to do with that. A number of people here have clearly stated that they do not respond when not interested. YOU are the one trying to point out how wrong they are for not responding to you. YOu are the one that is calling them low class for not responding to you. YOU are the one that is sitting there trying to rationalize that THEY should be interested in you. After all you see an %85 match so why don't they?So Nope, It's not me that is mad because MY way is not gospel.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 135
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Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/16/2011 9:28:10 PM
Actually, Sweet Lill GPS, YOU need to take a chill pill, dude.
 GuitarHero68
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 137
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Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/17/2011 9:33:08 AM
Responding to someone who read your profile and contacted you is a courteous way to act. So is thanking him for his interest and telling him, politely, that you're not interested if that's the case.
 earthboundangel67
Joined: 9/2/2011
Msg: 138
Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/17/2011 9:59:46 AM
I tend to not reply to messages if I have read their profiles and do not see something in common or that I would be romantically interested in. Some may see that as rude. I am not trying to be. Not really gonna worry about it. It is not an ego thing as some have suggested. It is simply my choice. I dont have a lot of time to begin with. So , I tend to be particular about who I will respond to. I am of the mind that if I have responded, I am interested. If not, not so much. Simple. And I expect the same. I dont take it personally. It is online....there are all types out there...as I always say, the good, the bad & the ugly. I am not here to gather a truckload of friends. I have my circle of friends. I am here to hopefully find someone who is a good match for me. And I them. Just move on. Life is too short not to. Jmho....
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 139
Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/17/2011 3:38:58 PM

Those are examples of you calling them names


Ya, but *cough*.........who is "them"?

;)

[oops]


Yet you insist that them not responding to you with a rejection message is some how rude and that they should do so,


HEY; ITS TWISTER! [Love yer albums man]

So; I insist that they should not respond to me?

Are you 'trying' to spin this sh*t; or are you just so worked up you can't think and talk straight?

Neatly enough; that A to B stuff originally made no sense when you wrote it either, and you used differetn examples. (At least you're consistent)




Now I DO that you do make it quite clear here that you feel that they should read your profile and give you a chance because YOU feel that there may be an %85 match in interests.


Help me here: Do 'I' think that "all" girls I message should do that for those reasons?


Between you and I; are you maybe just mad cause the dumb boys wont shut up and let your word be the gospel? (maybe?)



It would not surprise me


Well hey buddy; you know you best.


But what it is that you are doing here is simply not accepting that someone that you are interested inhas no interest in talking to you


Who?

I would like to cross reference with my records if you dont mind.


why they should give you more of a chance, you call them names (like stupid and lazy)


You know that the answer which mentioned stupid and lazy "originally" was generic and had nothing to do with me right?

Not that I dont like the spotlight now n then.......but...just sayin....


YOU are the one trying to point out how wrong they are for not responding to you.


Meh; in some cases. (Not all)


YOu are the one that is calling them low class for not responding to you.


Either that; or stupid, lazy or tactless. (And only in some cases)




After all you see an %85 match


I do?


It's not me that is mad because MY way is not gospel.


Well; I suppose you could just keep screaming in type for another 26 pages and keep trying.....

 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 140
Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/17/2011 4:37:48 PM
Bottom line is, all men want sex sooner or later, not just chat.......they may say they want a friendship but eventually they want to meet up and see how it goes.....I may reply to the message initially but mostly I wouldnt if there is no real interest..Best to just ignore it.. THey will cruise on to the next person.. Also remember some are just sleazes and random hitting.

...I wouldnt perpetuate the contact if not attracted or interested, for any length of time. It is only fair not to waste their time or give them false hope.........
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 141
Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/17/2011 4:53:31 PM
natgoat

Why bother to respond at all if you are not interested....and that your place or mine line I cant imagine gets you very far either....
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 142
Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/17/2011 7:00:57 PM
Even if I'm not interested...I reply simply because I'm Polite...and expect the same from someone I write To....
eventhough it's very Rare to actually Get a response...
As I've stated, elsewhere...I find Ignorance very unbecoming of a Lady..!
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 143
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Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/17/2011 7:51:37 PM

Even if I'm not interested...I reply simply because I'm Polite...and expect the same from someone I write To....
eventhough it's very Rare to actually Get a response...
As I've stated, elsewhere...I find Ignorance very unbecoming of a Lady..!

All right I guess I will ask you to explain it then.
I am sure that you have read over and Over and OVER on this thread how women hve tried to send nice polite replys of 'Thank you, but no thank you' only to have the person keep messaging her, try to convince her that she should talk to him/date him anyways and in many cases be straight out rude and aggressive towards her (like the poster that was called a $2whore). How are they being not polite by trying to avoid that situation? After all that is what happens easily half the time. Should they have to put up with being attacked like that? Do you honestly believe that they should have to endure that sort of behaviour so that you can get a message from someone that tells you that they are not interested? How is avoiding that sort of response 'ignorant'?
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 144
Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/17/2011 8:47:34 PM

I am sure that you have read over and Over and OVER on this thread how women hve tried to send nice polite replys of 'Thank you, but no thank you' only to have the person keep messaging her, try to convince her that she should talk to him/date him anyways and in many cases be straight out rude


And yet.......others havnt.


believe that they should have to endure that sort of behaviour so that you can get a message from someone that tells you that they are not interested?


So, in order for them to send a polite reply to a dude; they have to first go through mean and disrespectful messages? Is that a mail filter of some sort?

Yer logic, and cause and effect button's are aaaaalll messed up.


How is avoiding that sort of response 'ignorant'?


So; noone ever sends mean messages to those who never reply? So noone has been pleasantly surprised by being social and responding?

(wrong)

This is one of those things that I do nto think will change. Those who do do and those who dont dont.



P.s. You going to be ok? (bit worried about ya)

 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 145
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Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/17/2011 9:14:40 PM

So, in order for them to send a polite reply to a dude; they have to first go through mean and disrespectful messages? Is that a mail filter of some sort?

Yer logic, and cause and effect button's are aaaaalll messed up



And yet.......others havnt.

But half do. your logic does not make sense. To say that it works sometimes is the same as saying crossing a street while blindfolded works sometimes, so why not do it. after you got hit by cars a few times you would stop doing that. the same thing here. You never know how one will take the rejection so rather than take the risk, you simply do nothing and end up with the EXACT same thing that you would have had they been polite.



So; noone ever sends mean messages to those who never reply? So noone has been pleasantly surprised by being social and responding?

(wrong)

Too many send rude messages. You said it yourself. When it happens SO infrequently that it comes as a 'pleasant surprise', most folks are not interested. But again you ignore the question (which was asked of you earlier and you avoided it) how do they avoid this sort of response? If you can not come up with a reasonable way to avoid it, why is it ignorant to simply not put one self in the position to deal with that sort of rude behaviour?
The problem here is that you are trying to suggest that just because YOU would not send a rude message (Although you will trash talk them here) they should ignore their previous experience and respond to you. and if they don't they are ignorant. Neither YOU nor I are the barometer of how people should or should not be judged or taken risks on. Their own personal experience is. Their own personal experience says they tried it and were called $2 whores so now they do not try it. They tried it are are called 'ignorant for trying to avoid unpleasant situations like that, which simply shows a lack of undersatnding for their position. Ignore the posts here all that you want. The FACT is that easily a dozen women have said they tried it and it completely backfired on them so now they don't.
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 146
Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/18/2011 5:54:26 AM
Some actual messages I've gotten recently from the wonderful men of POF....

"Um ok****be a stuck up **** not like any hot guys like me ever try to get with u I'm sure so ur loss ha"

"I d like to tell you that you are simply a POS. You are offended by people fishing and
wont date anyone of that sort and that just sounds crazy. You can shove the organic food
you eat everyday up your a*** because clearly you are a sh*tfor brains person who
doesnt have a personality and are just a waste of space. Having a 4.0 GPA doesnt change
anything because you havent learnt tolerate and you might as well just trash your degree
if/when you get it!! Please go fu ck yourself and shove some vegetables up your cu nt
because you are a horrible person. Any guy you date would dump you in a
heartbeat.........You are not relationship material b i yo tch!"

Another guy I thought would be a gentleman about rejection, so I told him that I was very grateful for his service in the Marines, but that I didn't think we were a match. I don't have his message anymore, but basically I got a message calling me stupid because I'm still in college (wtf?), saying that I clearly can't take care of myself so am here looking for a man to take care of me, and that he was just lowering his standards for a quick lay. You really never know which men are going to take rejection like men and which are going to take it like spoiled children who have their toy taken away.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 147
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Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/18/2011 4:17:51 PM
Wow, those are very polite replies. Here is what Lill GPS man said:


So, in order for them to send a polite reply to a dude; they have to first go through mean and disrespectful messages? Is that a mail filter of some sort?
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 148
Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/18/2011 5:54:28 PM

you simply do nothing and end up with the EXACT same thing that you would have had they been polite.


I hear ya chief; but believe it or not; that's not even the focus of the topic.




But again you ignore the question (which was asked of you earlier and you avoided it) how do they avoid this sort of response?


Oh; asking advice?

Ok; try a not interested message that says more than "sorry; not interested". If someone makes a point that they also like a certain show; dont respond "not interested", cause frankly, that doesnt even make sense.

Just use tact?

Maybe it works, maybe it doesnt; I'm not sure I care anymore.


If you can not come up with a reasonable way to avoid it


I have; and use it all the time I get messages from ladies who are not someone I wish to date anytime soon. (never a problem)


they should ignore their previous experience and respond to you


Actually; my words on this board were never about 'me', until you became fixated.
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 149
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Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/18/2011 9:27:03 PM

Oh; asking advice?

Ok; try a not interested message that says more than "sorry; not interested". If someone makes a point that they also like a certain show; dont respond "not interested", cause frankly, that doesnt even make sense.

Just use tact?

Maybe it works, maybe it doesnt; I'm not sure I care anymore.

???? Really!?! Before this I simply thought that you were ignoring my questions and twisting my statements to try and bait me. But think I meant how can YOu avoid it as opposed to suggesting a way that these women can avoid the rude messages so that they can respond back to you. I am sure that this is not a real problem for you here on POF.


If you can not come up with a reasonable way to avoid it

So really now you are resorting to just quoting HALF of the sentence? Like the other half could not have any meaning to it? Really? The full sentence (which takes on a slightly different meaning than the portion that you quoted) is...

If you can not come up with a reasonable way to avoid it, why is it ignorant to simply not put one self in the position to deal with that sort of rude behaviour?

But you know what. Don't bother with an answer. You are going to ignore what was said. You are going to ignore what was asked (or twist it into something else). You are going to ignore the women here that give story after story about how they leave polite rejection messages and get called stuck up and whores, so really just save it. As I have said repeatedly, you and a few others are PRIME examples of why most women do not leave those sort of messages any more. So continue to think them rude for avoiding ugly confrontations, because what it REALLY amounts to is that many guys are just not MAN enough to accept that other people in the world will not operate how they want to and will defend their fragile egos by calling the women that reject them... rude, or ignorant or $2 whores.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 150
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Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/18/2011 11:23:42 PM

try a not interested message that says more than "sorry; not interested". If someone makes a point that they also like a certain show; dont respond "not interested", cause frankly, that doesnt even make sense.

Just use tact?


So you’re suggesting, in order to be considered “polite” not only should they engage in messaging with people they are not interested in but also respond using words that say more than "sorry; not interested"? They should use your understanding of tact? Why don’t you make a list of words they should use and some tactful strategies that make sense and post it here?


Maybe it works, maybe it doesnt;

As long as it gives people an opportunity to generate hate mail with abusive language, right?


I'm not sure I care anymore.


Does this mean you will now go away?
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 151
Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/19/2011 5:24:28 AM

Ok; try a not interested message that says more than "sorry; not interested". If someone makes a point that they also like a certain show; dont respond "not interested", cause frankly, that doesnt even make sense.

Just use tact?

I don't just say "not interested". Was thanking the Marine for his service and being a hero not good enough? Some people out there are just jerks who can't take rejection, no matter how you word it.


I have; and use it all the time I get messages from ladies who are not someone I wish to date anytime soon. (never a problem)

Maybe women are just less likely to lash out.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 152
Replying To Messages When Not Romantically Interested
Posted: 11/19/2011 6:13:53 AM
Why don’t you make a list of words they should use and some tactful strategies that make sense and post it here?


Great idea!



Maybe I should do classes in tact and class. (orrrrrr......maybe not)

Keep at er; you'll figure er out.

As long as it gives people an opportunity to generate hate mail with abusive language, right?


Does this mean you will now go away?


Love how those who claim abuse are often the abusers.




don't just say "not interested". Was thanking the Marine for his service and being a hero not good enough? Some people out there are just jerks who can't take rejection, no matter how you word it.


Ya; that one makes no sense to me.

People are nuts.

P.s. women lash out often; see above. ;)
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