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 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 2
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Newly Divorced, Single Mom....How the heck do you start dating again? Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

Hey! I am only 22 and I just got out of a 7 year marriage.


Wow, married at 15!

You have already started a profile here...
Try some divorce or single parent support groups.

Good luck in your search
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 3
Newly Divorced, Single Mom....How the heck do you start dating again?
Posted: 10/27/2011 9:35:17 PM
Maybe it would be a good idea to take the time and get to know you first.

As my mom said ...

It's not good to jump from one frying pan to another.

I didn't listen to her when she said it, and now I know full well what she meant.

Be single for a while.

Get to know you.

Get to love you.

Give it time.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 4
Newly Divorced, Single Mom....How the heck do you start dating again?
Posted: 10/27/2011 10:35:49 PM
Hey! I am only 22 and I just got out of a 7 year marriage. So safe to say I've never really dated before.… So not exactly sure how the whole dating thing goes these days.


Well, you’re here. That’s a start. How the whole dating thing goes is anybody’s guess. There’s no rule book, for sure. There’s nobody out there who knows better than you what you want and need in your life right now. Although, people have their ideas about how they think or hope things should go. And what they think you should do.

I like your dating ideas and whole profile. They tell a guy a lot about you and what to expect. One way to meet guys who share your interests is to just go out and do those things and hope to meet up. Sports and recreational organizations, outdoorsy stuff, rock and roll, or wherever single guys hang out in your area.

Young single moms have some obligations cut out for them. They don’t have the same flexibility in their schedule as childless women, and have fewer opportunities to get out. So their freedom and independence is somewhat compromised.

Some guys will see that as a liability and prefer to date women without children, and there are many of those in your age group. So be it.

Other guys might see your lack of freedom as a vulnerability and expect you to compromise in your choice of men and relationships. In other words, expect you to take what you can get when you can get it. But your profile says you know what you want in life, so I think you’ll be fine.

You might think of continuing your college. It might be one of the best things you can do for yourself, and you might meet some like-minded guys there too.

Otherwise, find some career counseling or life-coaching or just someone you can talk to when you need wise counsel. Single parenting can be isolating and it’s easy to lose track of your forward direction in life when you’re in the dating world.

See if you can arrange some child-care trades with other moms too, so you can both get the odd night out when you need it. G’luck.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 7
Newly Divorced, Single Mom....How the heck do you start dating again?
Posted: 10/28/2011 7:10:51 AM
There's not a huge demand for welfare mothers, especially if you're looking for someone who's educated and has a career. Most guys in your age bracket are looking to have fun-not playing daddy to someone else's kids. If your kids go the same route as you, you could be a grandmother in your 30's. Most guys won't find that cool.

Your best bet is to strive for something other than being a mother only. Think about getting an education and maybe a career. That's the only way to attract a better class of guys. Otherwise, you'll be stuck with trailer trash forever.

Your profile is quite...different. You say you're very mature and responsible for your age. But in the first date section, you say going for dinner and a movie is boring, and your idea of a fun first date is mudding or playing flashlight tag. Whatever.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 9
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Newly Divorced, Single Mom....How the heck do you start dating again?
Posted: 10/28/2011 7:23:57 AM
I highly recommend you build yourself up before venturing out to the dating world to build your self esteem.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 14
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Newly Divorced, Single Mom....How the heck do you start dating again?
Posted: 10/28/2011 12:21:44 PM
Are you seeking a relationship to define who you are or to compliment who you are? At least you are on the right track by starting college in January, but be warned it will hectic with work, school, and kids. Dating may have to go on the backburner if you have all that to juggle.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 21
Newly Divorced, Single Mom....How the heck do you start dating again?
Posted: 9/25/2013 8:32:59 AM

OP: Down the road maybe a relationship. As for right now I am just looking for people to hang out with.


A dating site is the wrong place to look for people just to hang out with. Most people here are looking for relationship material and many are not interested in single parents. You will more likely get guys your age to contact you for a booty call, and nothing else. How are going to hang out with people who are, for the most part, child-free at your age? They're going to be out partying, drinking, and doing things on the spur of the moment without any family responsibilities. You won't be able to do that. Your best bet is to find people at school who are in the same positions as you-young single mothers who will sympathize with you.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 22
Newly Divorced, Single Mom....How the heck do you start dating again?
Posted: 9/25/2013 9:41:50 PM
OP.... Good Luck with everything. You may find new friends but probably not on here. and no guy in your age range would want to date a woman with your stats. Not saying you gonna be single til youre in your 30s, just know it will be tough. Just Live for you and your kiddos right now
 usmale6
Joined: 9/14/2013
Msg: 23
Newly Divorced, Single Mom....How the heck do you start dating again?
Posted: 9/26/2013 9:02:36 AM
xMsSunshineX said,


Make sure you have talked with the person for at leasttttt 5 to 6 months before you introduce them to your child, you dont want to give the wrong impression. ( that is min not MAX)


- This is good advice.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 24
Newly Divorced, Single Mom....How the heck do you start dating again?
Posted: 9/26/2013 10:44:10 AM
22 and starting over after divorce (which usually takes at least a year) from a 7 year marriage...

so I am assuming from that you are either amish or Quaker maybe?

Don't really have any expert amish/quaker dating after divorce with young kid tips, sorry.

Maybe you can have play dates with your kids in tow?
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 25
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Newly Divorced, Single Mom....How the heck do you start dating again?
Posted: 9/26/2013 10:56:08 AM
Sorry folks...we scared another one away...:)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 26
Newly Divorced, Single Mom....How the heck do you start dating again?
Posted: 9/26/2013 3:35:45 PM
1) like the others said, its vital you figure out what you are NOW. not what you will become--we all change. that's why people usually say marrying "early" is a problem, better to get the big changes out of the way first.

2)when you know what you are, you'll know what you need, and what you want. not always the same. if you don't know what you are right now in life (more than just "a mom" and "a student", tho both roles obviously have their requirements--you don't want to date someone who can't give what a mom needs or what a student needs (typically time and understanding), right?) then you end up dating some convenient hot guy, and wondering how to get him to be what you need. better to date what you need, from the very start.

3) figure out the mistakes you made in the marriage, and the mistakes he made. when you find a guy who offers these mistakes, you'll know to run forest, run! even mistakes can be good, if only they are used for good :)

4)if you don't want something serious right now, define what boundaries are required...and play within them. don't assume "you'll know", make them clear and defined, so you can see them coming over the horizon and go, uh oh, getting too close to the fence, cut speed, pull back. you don't want to be the woman who comes here saying, gee, i went into this situation, and gee, it led right where situations like this go, what do i do now? b/c the advice would be, duh, don't go into those situations--couldn't you figure out they'd end the way this one did?

5)when you try to find yourself with the aid of another, what you find is a relationship (and all the requirements on you), rather than yourself. find yourself first, to find what you offer. then you know what you offer to a relationship, and you can find a relationship that actually wants that.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 27
Newly Divorced, Single Mom....How the heck do you start dating again?
Posted: 9/26/2013 4:00:41 PM
Why did anyone wish to resurrect an old thread from October 2011 at this time?
Hopefully the OP is now well on her way from graduating from nursing school and her life is going great.
Her situation seemed to be rather particular and far from a general question.
 naysaying_knicktwist
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 28
Newly Divorced, Single Mom....How the heck do you start dating again?
Posted: 9/26/2013 5:39:38 PM

Why did anyone wish to resurrect an old thread from October 2011 at this time? [...] Her situation seemed to be rather particular and far from a general question.


+1
Why did someone go through old threads (last post on this was 19 months ago) and direct a reply to a poster who has deleted her profile?
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 29
Newly Divorced, Single Mom....How the heck do you start dating again?
Posted: 10/2/2013 6:43:54 PM
You're a mother and you're newly divorced and you're only 22. Many have stated good stuff but I will only add that you should realize that you are still 15 in many ways. You haven't had the maturing time kids experience in high school so you're a little behind in the growing up department. Keep the dating casual and light for now. Do make your kids your priority, and good for you for getting back in school. You'll have your plate full. Whatever you do, don't get heavily involved with anyone on the rebound. Work on you, your kids, and getting your life in order.
oops...oh, well...let's hope she's on her way.
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