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 alpha__waves
Joined: 11/6/2017
Msg: 76
Single mums - What's the big deal? Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I'll make my own babies after I fall in love, travel, have shared experiences, and settle down with my girl, thanks.

Ain't nobody got time to jump into taking care of some other dude's kids! That's nonsense right there.
Single mums - What's the big deal?
Posted: 3/26/2018 12:29:31 AM
It is pretty obvious why a single mother is not very appealing. Kids, especially young ones need a lot of attention and care. Many guys do not want to play second fiddle to the children. You certainly don't get the same freedoms that come with a person with no kids.

Kids are referred to as baggage for a reason.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 78
Single mums - What's the big deal?
Posted: 3/26/2018 1:43:03 PM
Yup. All this is true. Kids are extra baggage that most guys don't want. I know this and I can understand why. However, why do so many guys check yes that they will date women with children?

Sometimes I really despair that no one I like will ever want to be with me because I'm tied down with 3 kids. However, I know there are some guys out there who are up to the task. I look at my brother as an example. He married a woman with 2 kids and then they had three of their own and they are a happy family with all those kids, her kids from her first marriage were completely absorbed by my family. And I've seen other examples, both good and bad. A person just needs to be really smart about the whole thing and go in with open eyes and realizing certain things. I think in my brother's case, he knows how it was being the child of a divorced mom with stepparents so he knew what he needed to do and be.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 3/23/2018
Msg: 79
Single mums - What's the big deal?
Posted: 3/26/2018 4:19:13 PM
“However, why do so many guys check yes that they will date women with children?”

It didn’t take long to message all the women around my age with no kids in my area - there wasn’t that many. Not one response. Now I’m talking to women from other cities. Dating women with no kids severely limits a man’s options.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 80
Single mums - What's the big deal?
Posted: 3/26/2018 5:48:50 PM
It makes me wonder why there aren't more single men with kids on POF. For every single mother there should be a single father trying to date somewhere. Most of the guys I see online in my age group are single, no kids, never married. Although I have run into a couple who never actually admitted to having kids in their profile but they actually did.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 3/23/2018
Msg: 81
Single mums - What's the big deal?
Posted: 3/26/2018 6:40:47 PM
^^^ There doesn’t have to be a single father for every single mother. Some men could have fathered children with multiple women.
 Kelley300698
Joined: 3/21/2018
Msg: 82
Single mums - What's the big deal?
Posted: 4/25/2018 11:08:10 PM

There doesn’t have to be a single father for every single mother. Some men could have fathered children with multiple women.
That is more than offset by the number of women with children from multiple men. Furthermore, single father are more likely to remarry so there are fewer single fathers than single mothers. There is no information on the number of single men with children. However, there are 8.6 million single mother-led households and only 2.6 million single father-led households.
See https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/02/single-fathers-pew-research_n_3535586.html
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 83
Single mums - What's the big deal?
Posted: 4/26/2018 8:30:55 AM

That is more than offset by the number of women with children from multiple men. Furthermore, single father are more likely to remarry so there are fewer single fathers than single mothers. There is no information on the number of single men with children. However, there are 8.6 million single mother-led households and only 2.6 million single father-led households.


That’s true, women can have children with multiple men as well. I don’t know any single fathers myself, but lots of single mothers.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 84
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Single mums - What's the big deal?
Posted: 4/30/2018 7:40:33 AM
I will always tell single guys DO NOT DATE SINGLE MOMS.

Sometimes it can feel like that is all that is out there especially in your 30s but hold out . Try to meet women offline . online is where all the single moms spend their weekends trying to hook a gullible single guy.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 85
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Single mums - What's the big deal?
Posted: 5/1/2018 1:38:58 AM

Sometimes it can feel like that is all that is out there especially in your 30s but hold out . Try to meet women offline . online is where all the single moms spend their weekends trying to hook a gullible single guy.


It's absolutely true. Even if you're really into the girl, the kids make it too complicated. The guy is the last priority and living together only works in extremely rare situations. You can end up paying child support if you live with them for a certain length of time. The juice isn't worth the squeeze. One of my massage therapists told me if one of her male friends met a single smother on a date, their friends would tell them to burn the phone number.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 86
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Single mums - What's the big deal?
Posted: 5/1/2018 11:26:12 AM

I will always tell single guys DO NOT DATE SINGLE MOMS.

That's pretty bold. Not get super-serious, but don't even merely date them. Interesting...

Try to meet women offline . online is where all the single moms spend their weekends trying to hook a gullible single guy.

I don't think single moms camping out online (yes, there are a high %) are trying to swindle any (childless) guys - lol. Especially when they're in their 30s+ ... there's no shortage of them at the various bars and such where ya meet gals offline.

The particular gals who are home-restricted because their ex is out or barely in the picture, isn't a good idea. A guy can comparatively get a better looking gal that way of course -- but there's a reason for that. But I would say don't go for BF/GF relationship if she's in that zone, and don't invest so much time. Not worth it, unless you couldn't get a gal otherwise to save your life. But even then, put things in perspective -- not just being ga-ga about a gal who would otherwise be a great catch by looks.

But there are women out there over 30 who have shared custody, a career-oriented job, and are doing just fine in life not weighed down by lots of baggage. I would still say heed in getting serious with said girl before feeling everything out, but from my experience, there's no rush by them to do so either.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 87
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Single mums - What's the big deal?
Posted: 5/1/2018 5:32:31 PM
No, dont even date them. Why would you? Especially in your 30s? for a fling? sure but lots of guys at this age are looking for something serious .

Bars? No thanks, thats not where I want to meet women. Bars are where single moms can look better in the dim light and through beer goggles.

Guys should go to the gym, travel, do sports, have adventures and meet women that way , not in bars. Or online. Why not? but dont settle and make sure you stick to your values.

Lots of single dads that can date those single moms.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 88
Single mums - What's the big deal?
Posted: 5/1/2018 8:52:23 PM
You'd think there would be a lot of single dads who'd date single moms but nope. Because I'm a paid member I can see if guys have checked yes or no to dating single moms and interestingly I've noticed most single dads check no to it. Most of the guys who aren't dads check yes.

I'm definitely not looking for some poor schmuck to trap him into looking after me and my kids. I can definitely take care of myself and my kids on my own. I honestly would just like a night here or there out with someone. I realize that I'm not able to be in a relationship right now because I have my kids all the time but I don't want to be celibate for the next ten years. And I have a good job and good benefits, just need to figure out the home situation but I will eventually. I'm looking forward to my independance. I have filled out so many applications for houses to rent in the last 5 months but never seem to make the cut. The housing situation in my area is just horrible right now, too many people, mostly families, looking for houses to rent and not enough houses for rent. Owners prefer to rent to people without kids, not that I blame them. And there's not a lot of apartments for rent in general, except ones for 55+. My one brother actually lives in a 55+ building because they made an exception for him. I wish my credit was good, there's so many cheap houses for sale.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 89
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Single mums - What's the big deal?
Posted: 5/1/2018 11:26:24 PM

No, dont even date them. Why would you? Especially in your 30s? for a fling? sure but lots of guys at this age are looking for something serious .

30s isn't old. And sure, a fling possibly -- doesn't have to get in the way of keeping the door open to something serious. If a guy without kids has tons of hot women w/o kids beating down his door, then yeah, he's going to go the path of least baggage by default anyway. But willing to set something up with a gal who has a kid and isn't burdened by one isn't a crazy idea. And it doesn't Necessarily rule things out for something serious. But again, LTR-or-bust mode -- many independent guys aren't in that desperation mode, though.

Bars? No thanks, thats not where I want to meet women. Bars are where single moms can look better in the dim light and through beer goggles.

Single moms don't look worse than moms who haven't had kids. This is 'Merica. You don't need a baby to be "a few extra pounds", and plenty who have had them aren't. Bars aren't where all the ugly women hang out or that they're even nearly all the same -- I have no idea where you get that notion. And a bar is not a bar is not a bar. That's like saying every place to vacation to is the same.

Guys should go to the gym, travel, do sports, have adventures and meet women that way , not in bars. Or online.

Sure, keep your options open wherever you are. But for actual traffic to rely on that's not online where it's sausage-fest 2.5... aside from a concert or festival, which is pretty much the Exact Same as a bar -- where else? Traveling -- oh, the hotel bar? ;) Okay, nix that -- there's a hex there. Okay, 'mac on girls at the beach or doing group-traveler things. OK. Oh, but wait -- why would you? Especially in your 30s? For a fling? I thought you were looking for something serious! ;) So let's NIX the travel thing. At home only.

So basically join a sports club or 'mac on girls at the gym (requires being a regular, pretty much for any slow draw). Not an active pipeline. Meetup.com? That actually can be a good one, but YMMV. However, many times they meet up at, you guess it, a bar. So if we nix that, we nixed a lot of what that can potentially pipe in.
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