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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Guys who say "Call me" in their first message      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 110
Guys who say Call me in their first messagePage 10 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
marco444~

"To Larrisan. Did it ever occur to you that the guy may have been head over heels in love that is why he sent a number right away , you know just the way you would want him to be? You know like when a dog is being walked and he sees another dog and he gets so excited he just starts wriggling all over."

uh...no...if a man sees a woman's profile and he is absolutely smitten with the woman...he is not going to take a chance of her NOT talking to him by just giving her his number...hell no...men are about action...well, at least the type of men that I LIKE...a man that is smitten with a woman will ask for her number...and he will message her until he gets it...he will try different tactics...he will want to talk to her asap...he will want to meet her asap...he will not sit by his lap top hoping, pining, holding his breath waiting for her to call...no way...i want a man that is AT CAUSE in life...not one that is EFFECT... and this is sexy as hell!
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 111
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 7/13/2012 12:40:59 AM
Quite a few woman here do the same. Some put it in their profile, "IM me and I'll give you my number so we can talk." Or, "Not into email." Honestly, I'm not comfortable sharing my phone number with someone I've never met face to face.
 rdeffley
Joined: 9/21/2009
Msg: 112
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 7/13/2012 1:59:09 AM
DudeIsPriest,

I used to feel the same way. I wouldn't want some strange woman having my phone number, etc.. I would exchange emails, set the meet, and then get her number after the meet if I wanted to see her again by having her call my phone so that it was not a fake number. However, more often than not, I wish I would have talked to the woman first before meeting. More than once it was like pulling teeth to get them to open up. I could have avoided the meets if I would have talked to them first. Now on the phone I can tell within 5-10 minutes if she has the type of personality I click with. Such a time saver. Look at this way. Would you rather spend 10 minutes on the phone and write somebody that is wrong for you off instantly, or waste gas driving to a meet, spend money on her, and waste 1-2 hours of your time with somebody you have no desire to be with? What boggles my mind, is when people will actually stay through an entire first meet when it just isn't working. On more than once occasion I have ended a meet 20-30 minutes in when I know it isn't going anywhere.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 113
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 7/13/2012 5:04:16 AM
Some of these people have been in these dating sites - and active daily - for multiple years.

I wonder if some people who are online just as often feel a kind of 'kinship' with them - like they may know them, because they've read and re-read their profile dozens of times - and after a couple dozen re-writes seem to know them a lot better. The fear of sending out a phone number or e-mail un-solicited is gone because of familiarity with the profile.

I realize that's pathetically sad on several levels, but hey, it could happen...
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 114
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 7/13/2012 6:39:52 AM
I think that some guys just want to hear a voice as soon as possible and I agree with that. Texting or emailing endlessly can be a waste of time. Meet as soon as also. You have met a guy a couple of times and it seems to be working out so good luck.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 115
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 7/13/2012 6:43:17 PM

I ws just wondering if womem are so concerned about a guy having their phone number that if you say you are more than welcome to call me and blocking your number that they still get creeped out by it?


No, in general, I don’t think women get creeped out by it. Of course I can’t speak for all or most women out there but for me it’s a matter of not giving in to pressure or expectation. It is important for me to have the freedom to give out my number on my own. What does creep me out is when it is “the only way” to get to know him.

To block someone from the get go just doesn’t feel right to me. I have talked to men before in the past on the phone (blocked and unblocked) and every time I was disappointed that they didn’t turn out to be who I thought they were when I actually met hem. So i got better at reading written communication. On the phone and prolonged email conversations I was getting attached to an unrealistic image (which is human nature) and when I saw them everything changed. I learned that it is best to meet in person and then decide to give out my unblocked number if I thought we were compatible.


I think that some guys just want to hear a voice as soon as possible and I agree with that. Texting or emailing endlessly can be a waste of time.


That may be true and I think I want to experience the person face to face ASAP. Texting or emailing endlessly can definitely be a waste of time. I would be willing to Skype if he was far away and didn't have time to waste but I would also be willing to wait until we can actually meet face to face so it is less awkward.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 116
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 7/15/2012 4:56:19 PM
interestingly enough, i've had quite a few men message me recently then add their phone numbers along with the tag line, "let me know," or "give me a call if you want." ugh. sorry, that is such a turn off. why don't you ask for MY number if you are interested...oh wait...you aren't all that interested...that's why!
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 117
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 7/16/2012 9:52:12 AM
^^^^^^
What if they are waiting for you to do something to prove how interested YOU are?
So, you're kind of playing 'chicken' with these guys: who's going to blink first and act 'interested enough' first.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 118
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 7/16/2012 11:15:43 AM
If I am interested in someone I will I have a reason and will articulate that in the e-mail. If the interest is mutual THEN and only then can a phone conversation or face to face meeting be arranged. But to approach a woman with the attitude, “ Oh well, if she’s interested in me she can call me” is lame and says a lot about the person. If you want to meet a decent woman you have to consider a more meaningful approach.
 Choporis
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 119
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 7/17/2012 5:44:17 PM
To OP,

Worse is that along with their phone number, they add a really general phrase like, "I agree with what you said in your profile", attempting to act as if they really did spend time on reading people's profile; however, in reality they just copy and paste the same message, and spam different people's inbox.
Even if I feel interested in their photos and profiles, I still wouldn't reply nor text them.
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 120
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 7/18/2012 11:34:45 AM
Why this has dragged on so long god knows!!

There have actually been occasions when after a series of email exchanges a meeting has been arranged and some poor guy turns up for a date to find out that the "Girl" he expected to meet is a guy....And thats a fact.

You can only really get to know someone by TALKING to them. You can say what you want in an email or an instant chat but when you actually speak to someone you give out much more of yourself. The tone of your voice and how you speak makes an immediate impression. The conversation will either flow or it will quickly stagnate...The sooner phone contact is made either via skype, mobile or landline the better - It will sure save a hell of a lot of emailing!!

I think its fair to use the anology of a job application - You apply for a job and normally send a CV. Your number will be on your CV with an invitation for that prospective employer to ring you IF they think you tick the requirements of the job. IF the emplyer calls you then its no gurantee of a job but the conversation may lead to an interview...which, if that goes well, may lead to a work trial. There are no promises at this stage but you have both reached a point where you want to see if there is a future

So here sure someone reads your profile and may decide to send you a brief message and yes they might suggest you ring them IF you are interested in what you read in their profile? They might have given you their number but at this point they are not asking you divulge YOUR number nor are they after your life history, your bank account details or anything more than an initial chat to see if their is something worth pursuing? After a few chats you may indeed decide to meet up but again just like the job, there are no gurantees because its still at the getting to know you stage.

To be honest if someone is so reluctant to talk to me then alarm bells start ringing. Perhaps they are married, perhaps they are so shy on the phone that the only way they can express themselves is by email or instant message.
Perhaps they are not at all who they seem to be and dont want to get found out, liars often give themselves away on the phone so easily.

Its a shame that some people cannot see that IF a guy suggests they call him its a compliment. Its a compliment because the guy likes that persons profile and pics so much that they want to dispense with lots of emails and instead just get into conversation with you!

By dismissing a call request so easily and making an instant assumption that the guy must be weird, desperate or too full on then just maybe you might be saying no to that one person who could become very special to you.

IF you like pic /profile then make the call!! You have totally nothing whatsover to lose except an opportunity to get to know someone better ...
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 121
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 7/19/2012 7:34:41 AM
I would never call a total.stranger who's message is hello give me a call etc
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 122
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 7/19/2012 12:08:42 PM
Neither would I Katt But..... IF their message showed that they had clearly read my profile and the email was interesting and told me more about them and then perhaps had somewhere that they much prefered to talk rather than email then I see no problem.

I would not expect a woman to give me her number but if I was interested and she asked for mine she could have it. This then allows her to ring me with her number witheld. I totally respect in todays society anyone right to hold back their number until they are ready.

I would be very suspicious about anyone who had a seperate mobile that was used just for dating reasons?
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 123
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 7/20/2012 7:16:24 PM
Oh come on. Just call him by blocking your number. It doesn't matter what you want or how off-putting it is to be approached in this way. How else is he gonna know you're a woman and not a man in disguise? How is he gonna know you're interested in him even though you're not? That is so unfair. :)))
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