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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Guys who say "Call me" in their first message      Home login  
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 tornadoadv
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 51
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Guys who say Call me in their first messagePage 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
No problem calling the GIRL first, - but not many girls give out their phone numbers, - so THAT'S why the girl has to contact the guy first. - What OTHER choice does he have?
 baishui
Joined: 4/4/2010
Msg: 52
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/21/2011 10:19:49 PM
If you're not comfortable with it, then you're not comfortable with it, no matter what anyone else thinks. I personally find this behavior odd and like to exchange at least two emails or using the chat feature before giving out my phone number. This ensures we have something in common. I've given out my number too soon and the guy rang me way too late at night and entirely too frequently.

This is lazy behavior, not appropriate dating behavior. You wouldn't just walk into a bar and hand someone your phone number before finding out their name.
 ladyforyou11
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 53
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/22/2011 8:48:21 PM
Personally, I would not answer that message. Anybody that seriously has an interest in you should be able to a t least write a few sentences, if not a paragraph. I want to see something a little bit personalized, not something that can be sent to anybody with the click of a mouse.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 54
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:38:39 AM
sensualsandie is right.
She just listed common precautions that all individuals should be taking with online dating.
I always thought anyone who makes fun or criticizes these is a sketchy person.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 55
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 10:09:35 AM
i get messages like this too, and i usually ignore them. i am not going to call some guy out of the blue like that. yes, i prefer that a man calls me, and i am a firm believer that if a man is interested he will call. i am much like a man in this regard - I DO NOT LIKE TO TALK ON THE PHONE.

i do NOT like the endless emails, talking, talking, talking, etc.. i would rather someone email me, say, hey, let's meet up for coffee. this endless talking and emailing back and forth really gets on my nerves, and i do lose interest very quickly if this goes on too long. i would rather just meet face to face and see if there is any chemistry. if there is not, then fine! move on! but the texting, talking on the phone, emailing back and forth is a complete waste of time because you could spend a month talking to someone only find out upon meeting that there is nothing there.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 56
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 3:32:16 PM

Here's to hoping you never find your mailman cute.. He knows where you live!
If you wouldn't treat the mailman, or the plumber, or the guy that delivers your paper, or reads your water meter like that.
Then why would you treat the guy paying for dinner like that?
There's a Thanksgiving sale on those plastic bubbles..

I don’t really have a problem and have no idea what you’re talking about.

My mail carrier is female, I know my plumber for 13 years and we have great chats. I have no paper delivered and the meter guy is doing his job for which he gets paid to do. There is no guy paying for my dinner and the bubble belongs to you.


i do NOT like the endless emails, talking, talking, talking, etc.. i would rather someone email me, say, hey, let's meet up for coffee. this endless talking and emailing back and forth really gets on my nerves, and i do lose interest very quickly if this goes on too long. i would rather just meet face to face and see if there is any chemistry. if there is not, then fine! move on! but the texting, talking on the phone, emailing back and forth is a complete waste of time because you could spend a month talking to someone only find out upon meeting that there is nothing there.

Totally agree. I don’t do the phone and texting. In person is best and ASAP.
 Mr_Nonchalance
Joined: 6/21/2011
Msg: 57
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 7:20:16 PM
thank god i live in new york because i never seen women this protective over a phone numbers or maybe its because im more use to real life approaches , because in the real world it does not seem hard to get a phone number by just a proper intro. i mean hell you do get rejected sometimes but atleast its right to your face and you move on compared your looking for that response to a email you sent thats never going to come lol.

honestly i think online dating must spoil women because the same women wont mind giving their number so quick if they did not have these dating sites.it seems like supply and demand where the average girl gets more messages than she would have guys talk to her in public so she is allowed to be picky and go back and forth through emails while she sizes up other men she emailing to make them work there way up to a number.

i mean all this judgement on men who give their numbers in the first message,how about maybe they wrote a decent profile so feel that should be enough,or maybe he does not feel like siting on a computer for hours so he can wait to respond to generic boring "hows your day" message(thats if they respond in the same day or even at all) or even worse play 20 question(which is a question a message) in which 19 of those question were answered in the profile itself.
 Watermanmax
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 58
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:17:57 PM
I have had a lot of conversations with people I have never met. We have laughed together commiserated and left without an introduction.

I think I give someone a number, especially my home landline, it means I am who I say I am, I usually have a good reason for it, eg other means of communicaion are clumsy but most of all they cant tell about me or vice versa, till a conversation - then the little joys or slips of racism, anger, sexism, intolerance etc come out.

If it isnt wanted just say you are not ready for it - nothing lost - something conserved. However a judgemental reaction to the offer of a confidence sends a particular message.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 59
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:33:28 PM
to supremex:


You DO realize that this is is a total and complete contradiction

Absolutely not. Wow, you must be very narrow minded to be believe that I can’t be safe and meet in person. You think in order to meet in person I have to meet at night time in the parking lot or a back alley some place? You also quoted someone else’s words as mine.

I am telling you that I don’t use phones and texting but I prefer meeting in person. I also said that sensualsandie is right. I said “She just listed common precautions that all individuals should be taking with online dating.” Apparently you have a reason why that would be a problem for you. Hint hint...

Here... Let me recap.

No phone calls until getting to know someone in person over a period of time.
Meet in person during daytime, in public places.
Use common sense and listen to gut instinct.
Period. Simple. Piece of cake. Happy. No problem. Now go bother someone else.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 60
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/25/2011 11:36:30 AM
I have no problems with landlines or cell phones. However, I don't really use the phone when I'm trying to get to know someone. I feel there is no reason not to meet in person. If I don't find someone interesting enough to meet in person I don't keep writing them forever and ever.

I think when you're really interested in someone none of it will matter.


 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 61
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/25/2011 2:02:28 PM
In my experience those "quick digit" type of men are usually quite sleazy.


Are not; now can I see your boo....

KIDDING!!




if you already have a distrust for me due to something as stupid as a land line vs a cell phone then its not really worth my time or effort.


Not unless you're a psychiatist anyways.
 southmeetswest
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 62
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/25/2011 2:41:02 PM
i don't think i would call someone offering a phone number in a very first message. but, i will call very soon thereafter. i detest the email/message process. you can email forever. and for me, i make decisions based on phone calls. it is in my opinion the best early screening tool.

i have never had a bad outcome from calling someone, or them having my phone number. when it is not going to work, i tell them so or they tell me so, and we are done with calling one another. just last night i spoke to a man who emailed me 3 times. during the course of our conversation i found some things that made me mark him off the list. conversation is revealing......

kaylee
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 63
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/26/2011 10:22:46 AM

I received a message from a woman this morning: "Too bad you live in Lincoln." That's all they wrote. um...why bother contacting someone if that's all you are going to say? I did write her back though with a simple "I don't think so...have a nice day". Helped me eliminate the complication of having to contact this person any further.


You assumed she was taking a shot at Lincoln? I hope you understand that she took the trouble to pay you a compliment, maybe thinking she could put a smile on your face, b/c she liked what you said, wanted you to know she found you attractive, and still knows the distance won't work for her. Of course, given your response, she'll probably be thinking, "Wow, what a jerk!!"

The proper response to a compliment is "Thank you; how kind of you to say so." You do not have to say anything else.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 64
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/26/2011 2:17:58 PM

The proper response to a compliment is "Thank you; how kind of you to say so."


Eaaasy on the guy..sheesh.

If she wanted to push for deeper conversation; she could have taken that HUUUUGE opening to ask why he likes Lincoln so much? (If for nothing else; but to find out more about the city and this dude she is trying to get to know more)

That would put the ball back in his court.His out could be :Sorry; I dont have much time to talk, and you're right, you're too far away anyways; best of luck" or something similar.

The man showed his pride in his choice of citys and locales, AND kept the conversation reserved and limited; that's all he did.

THAT.....is the tact I was refering to in replying, but making someone work REAL hard and stick their neck out a bit to get your time. Why would SHE retort though; she already ADMITTED it's too far right? (She probably still has eyes for him too; so bridge not burned)

;)
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 65
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/26/2011 7:03:32 PM

I received a message from a woman this morning: "Too bad you live in Lincoln." That's all they wrote.

They? If that’s all she (sorry, they) wrote how do you know she is schizophrenic?


um...why bother contacting someone if that's all you are going to say?

Well, if that’s how you feel why did you contact her? I would have been flattered.


I did write her back though with a simple "I don't think so...have a nice day". Helped me eliminate the complication of having to contact this person any further.

You really think she was asking for further communication or contact? Could it be that you’re being too uptight and unable to take a compliment?
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 66
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/26/2011 11:02:20 PM
I can't speak for most of the women but there was no need to respond to her compliment. Same if it were a guy. That's just my opinion. Not sure why you're projecting your own double standard on to others.

If you really appreciated it and took it for what it was intended you could have said thank you and enjoyed the compliment. Otherwise, no action on your part was necessary.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 67
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/6/2011 12:26:57 PM
I have to say my tolerance level for these sort of messages goes up or down
according to my reaction to the person sending them. In fact, I'll take a lot more
from someone I like or find attractive than I will from someone that I don't like or
can't see myself with.

That works with me just about everywhere. It's why sometimes someone calling
me hon is creepy and other times it's endearing. I didn't realize I was the only one
doing this, I sort of thought it was a universal thing.

I also think "too bad you live in Lincoln" was also meant as a compliment.
Basically...too bad you live so far away, otherwise I like what I see....or something
like that.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 68
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/7/2011 6:54:04 AM

In the workplace, it's the difference between sexual harassment, and flirting. If you think he's cute it's flirting, otherwise, he's in trouble..


Has nothing to do with whether or not I think he's "cute". Has everything to do with
whether or not he's a creep. Goodlooking guys can be creeps as well. Has everything to
do with how he presents himself, talks to me and how he treats me. Some creepazoid with a bad attitude who has nothing good to say about women and who treats them like
they are his next ex wife would definitely be harrassing me.
 jt guy
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 69
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/7/2011 10:24:03 AM
I think many women who do not call a guy when he sends his number are missing out on lots of great guys. I have met some great women that way.

To the women who say what would I talk about. You are missing the point...the guy will carry the conversation. The last lady who called me we talked all night.

Women must have good standard to go by, when calling guys. Girls, you have that feeling guys don't, so use it.
 WesternRose
Joined: 1/2/2011
Msg: 70
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/18/2011 7:51:42 PM
Coyotefeller:
The garbage detector is functioning very well thank you. It was never off-line. I am not one to settle for less. One mistake in judgement is allowed. The rest I have seen comming from a mile away and terminate e-mail correspondence with a very nicely put thanks but no thanks.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 71
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/24/2011 11:21:56 AM

I think that if both parties have shown mutual interest then, it should be the man that gives his phone number because of the dangers out there to the women!

Okay, but what about guys who say call me in their first message without even knowing they are going to get a reply? Do they really expect to receive a response from non-hookers?
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 72
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/25/2011 9:53:37 AM

I don't understand this.
When we were kids/young (mid 20's) adults before cell phone were popular, we gave someone we were interesting in our number. There was no such thing as call block or caller ID.
You talked on the phone a couple of times and then met.
Funny how everything has changed and people are so odd about behaviors that were normal for us.
At least with cell phones we can block someone from calling. We know who is calling. They won't have a clue where we live as the numbers aren't listed.


Agreed. Some people are trying to be sensible here but most of it is just forum nonsense. I do agree that a woman should not call a number sent to them on an opening email. Not because it is necessarily a Nigerian serial killer but because it is presumptuous to assign a stranger a particular task no matter how trivial.

I always used to ask for their number in my third email, not second and not fourth, but third. I could do it with reasonable expectation that they would give it to me because I said I would ask them in my profile -- nobody was caught off guard. I always asked them for theirs because I wasn't going to require that they do anything. I never gave mine. I stated so in my profile, I'm the guy and I'm supposed to call YOU first Was optimum for my type. Your results may vary.

A woman who sent me her number before I asked (which was often the case) wasn't a slut or desperate. She was merely someone who wanted to get the show on the road.

On occasion, I would misjudge a profile and get someone who refused categorically or had a comfort zone as wide as a razor blade. I ask, they balk then I write something like "Well it has been loads of fun but job one is to meet somebody. Time I got back to the task at hand. May Mr. Dynamite come along any day now. Best of Luck." Every once in a while, not often, but sometimes they would send their number in the very next email.

I know what you are all thinking... "I would never give my number out after three emails. I need 200 before I am sure I want to get to know you." Remember we are not talking about forum people. How likely is it that I would be emailing forumites?
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 73
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/25/2011 6:02:51 PM
This thread is about giving out numbers in an initial e-mail, - not second, third, or dating period. Complete strangers, out of the blue contacting you, asking you to call them!
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 74
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 1/1/2012 1:36:45 PM

I don't understand this.When we were kids/young (mid 20's) adults before cell phone were popular, we gave someone we were interesting in our number. There was no such thing as call block or caller ID. You talked on the phone a couple of times and then met. Funny how everything has changed and people are so odd about behaviors that were normal for us.At least with cell phones we can block someone from calling. We know who is calling. They won't have a clue where we live as the numbers aren't listed.


I know eh?

Sort of an anti-social and freaky commentary on our society today vs then.

Everyones a badguy or badgirl until proven otherwise; and no amount of common sense and protecting yourself will save you.



 Iandwho
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 75
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 1/2/2012 6:27:23 AM
I give out my google-voice number if I am interested to get to know a guy, it is safe for me and I can have a first impression. Email is just not that effective for me to determine if I would like to meet - because of my language and cultural barrier (I have to get used to the American way of dating ) understanding and getting a vibe is easier on the phone.
With all this technology now its safe easy and convenient
As for the -To bad you live in...- I would take it as a compliment - why not write something nice if you see it. I would give a compliment to a stranger if he dresses nice, that doesn't have to mean I want to date him Just means I am able to see and acknowledge beauty when I see it....Life is much more fun and happiness that way
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