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 professorjjd
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 30
5+ years single..how many of you out there?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I'm beyond the 6 year mark, of no dates at all! But I'm quite used to it, and enjoy my time alone(with my kitties).. All my time is "me" time! And today was my 41st birthday, so in a few months, it will be 7 years without dating or any physical intimacy!
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 31
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 11/28/2011 4:33:12 AM
Ohenryx -
don't give up honey.

I have been there many times too.

I don't know what it is but don't give up.

Her loss as you are probably a great guy. No- you
are a great guy. Don't let it get you down.

Prior to a relationship that ended six months ago I
had been dateless for about 7 years.

It's really hard to find quality people to share your
life with.

With all there is out there- Internet, porn, dating sites
like vending machines, it's really hard to find someone
serious- or serious about you.

Keep on keeping on. Something will stick and if
it doesn't- so be it.
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 32
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 11/28/2011 10:24:51 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

well put, Curly!

I could add that dating sites are like vending machines..........

you never know what you will get and whether or not the merchandise will be stale!!!!
 HappinessOK
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 33
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 11/28/2011 5:44:40 PM
Umm Im almost emabrrassed to say it.. 30 yrs single after a very ugly divorce....I was left pregnant and alone and raised my daughter on my own with no family around. Had a few long term but noone that made me feel like risking marriage again.

Daughter is grown and gone and now finding it almost impossible to get a date with a decent guy that I want to spend time with...can be frustrating but Im alive and kicking and know that its just a matter of time ..or NOT! lol

Its hard when you have children and have to fit everything else into your life.
..Best advice I can give , try not to be too picky but make sure you pick one that will be good to the kids :)
 6yrswaiting
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 34
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/3/2011 10:17:45 PM
Be patient-love comes when you're not looking-like i can talk it will be 7 years of being single for me next year-looking (hoping) for that special girl-i'm determined not to spend another year alone so I'm just trying to get out more-don't loose hope.
 professorjjd
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 35
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/11/2011 10:16:10 AM
I agree with the idea about dogs(or cats).. I love my kitties, and they keep me warm at night too..
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 36
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/11/2011 2:10:50 PM

I been single for 16 years. I been here forever yet can not get a date. many I am just not attracted to or the men I am attracted to Just stand me up over and over and over. Its frustrating. I can not even remember the last time I had sex. I had a few relationships since my divorce in 1996 but they all were cheaters and lied about something. I was engaged to a man from 1999 to 2004 an that ended because he was sleeping with other women the whole time. So I can relate to how frustrating it is to be single and not being able to find a good man that believes in commitment. I never cheated on a man. i firmly believe in honesty and treating others in the way you want to be treated.


kcladyz......sounds like my story.......In the sense I've been stood up and yes, cheated on more times than I care to count.......

and yes, I agree with you that you treat others how they want to be treated.....although that hasn't worked for me either!!!!!!!

I am just glad I am NOT alone in my thinking or situation.............
 bigpanda22
Joined: 3/14/2011
Msg: 37
view profile
History
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/11/2011 6:05:55 PM
not 5+ but it sure feels like it. im at 3 years single. ive done pof for awhile now(about 6 months...i think) and friends suggesting people to me. but i dont get it. i strike a cord with someone and instantly im shoved to the friend zone or i never hear from them again. its stupid IMO, but whatever, honestly i just wish i could find someone who didnt just do one or the other right away, or even just someone to talk to. i want more or just something with crunch you know? sorry if i ranted normally i keep it. but note hit me the right way.
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 38
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/15/2011 3:53:01 AM

Try not posting that you are looking for "friends". Be honest. You are here to find someone who makes you NOT single. The right man for you will be looking for someone who put "long-term relationship" in that box.


Frshstart75 (see message 75) ......well.....that sounds all fine and well.....but......once upon a time, I DID have looking for "long term relationship" on my profile.....and yes.....had one of the nicest narratives/descriptions on it too........had quality photos, the whole nine yards.......

I also used the "will respond" or "your matches" templates on here as well......Left some pretty nice messages to those who had the nicer profiles and who were supposedly looking for a long term relationship.......the response??? either I was totally ignored, or received a nasty response, or an out and out offer for a one night stand.

In the six years I've been on and off this site.....and offline.....I've dated around....had enough "meet and greets" or "one meet and out" types of situations to last me a lifetime. - I've also been stood up more times than I care to count.

Sooo in the end.....now that I'm 41.....and after the beatings I've taken.....I'm done with dating.
 Savona
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 39
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/15/2011 6:12:43 AM
11years single.

I would have loved to have fallen during this time but naww it just has not happened.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 40
view profile
History
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/19/2011 6:48:31 AM
candy ( OP) if your thinking a relationship will make you happy, your wrong. Happiness, at least the real kind has to come from within, not from the outside of yourself.

I suggest you find a hobby or something you enjoy or will be new.. a challenge that you can do during the times in the evenings or weekends you feel empty. Maybe you can use that time to work out? read some literature? take up a new hobby involving learning a new skill? how about some online classes concerning something you have an interest in?

Cats seem to work for a lot of women for some reason although I fail to see how, it just does.
There was a time I began to read classic literature since I had never read any.. I loved it and it consumed me for awhile, I was going to the library asking for dantes inferno ( cliffnotes were better) , books from and written hundreds of years ago !
Also got into works from Oscar Wilde. what an interesting life and character !
It was interesting and something totally new to me ( an example)
It was another world. An interesting one BRAND new to me.

Tried some poetry, ugh, not for me, not even Oscars :).. anoither thing was OLD MOVIES, I mean really old back from the 30's and 40's. ( just some ideas for you).
Ever tried exotic cooking? like asian soups? I researched topic in the bible as well as people of the bible, like Solomon. I found it interesting because I had the time to really research the things I wanted to know. No distractions.

I learned how to work power tools and made a few shevling areas in my house. etc... ( ideas for you).. painting and drawing are some things people like to do. Maybe you have some natural undiscovered talents? How about learning to play a musical instrument? Guitar, flute.. etc

If you ever do find a relationship, this does not mean it will fill you and make you whole.. only you can make yourself whole.
Some lonliness is just part of the human condition, you have to accept that and learn to live with it. A relationship is not the end all, be all.. often they involve more strain and hassles !.. that time you now have free could result in time arguing or doing more laundry than you already have !
so, take some time to think about what will make YOU feel good about yourself, stimulate your mind, awaken your spirit....... this is your life !!!! use the empty time to your benefit. You have to change your thinking !!!
Learn to be happy alone and you will no doubt be happy when you one day find the relationship you hope to find.

two halves do not make a whole.
 1andOnlyME!
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 41
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/22/2011 12:04:08 AM
that is crazy! I think you choose to be single not that you don't want to!
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 42
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/22/2011 5:10:17 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I don't think so......how many of us ARE single because we did NOT choose to be???

How many of us out here quite literally gave it our collective "all" in a relationship....did everything we could to keep it afloat only to be sh*t on in the end??

and how many of us out here tried to pick up the pieces, get ourselves together, tried to date or "start over" again only to be rejected over and over and over again? - or worse yet, stood up for a mere "meet and greet"?

- Nevermind the fact that some of us out here ACTUALLY have so much to offer.....we don't partake of the public trough, but instead we have good jobs, multiple college degrees, professional endorsements and certifications, nice homes, and the list goes on and on.....and yes, it's hard-earned. We don't cheat, lie, or play headgames or any of that B.S......all we would like to have is a nice palatable relationship that lasts........yet we can't seem to find it.

You would be surprised at how many of us out here who have sincerely tried........and have given up because we can only take so much of a beating.........people can only take so much.......then you can't bring them back because they find out it just isn't worth it.........
 LikeApples
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 43
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/24/2011 8:32:07 AM
Guys are guys no matter where you go. The only difference between the bar and online dating is the stumbling drunks.

Here is my 100% honest answer: Most guys don't want to date girls with children, especially if the guys don't have children themselves. Instant families are not the goal. So, if you want to increase your odds, you have to bring more to the table than a single girl without kids. The easiest way to do that is to look better than them. The easiest way to do that is to whip your body into killer shape. Yeah, it's not easy, I know, but if you were to spend :30 a day working on that task while eating right, you'd be blazing in six months and your suitors would multiply 10 fold.

Like it or not, it's the truth.

-----

A guy has spoken.
 professorjjd
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 44
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/24/2011 8:28:54 PM
HAHA, xmas on POF, out of lack of anything better to do! How enjoyable! Single(and non dating at all) for over 6 years now, maybe more(I lose track of time these days)! Merry Xmas everyone!
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 45
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/25/2011 2:05:41 PM
I've felt just as lonely in my last relationship as I do being single. I can only hope that something better comes along. I realize that this website alone won't get me there, as it is more like a lottery than it is a strategy.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 46
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/25/2011 2:15:28 PM
Dominic, there you are buddy!

Let's go do some speed dating, it's time to get off this site.

And I am not inviting you because I think you being there will make me look better.

Honest!
 sranjesuper11
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 47
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/25/2011 4:40:47 PM
best reply imo.

get yourself busy with your life and things will come into place. I know i found my ex when i wasn't looking. And when i am eagerly looking, i am unlucky. It will come when it wants to
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 48
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/25/2011 5:46:15 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Whether or not I am "actively looking" doesn't matter.

It isn't going to come either way.....and what HAS come my way is recent years are game players with all the drama, B.S. and headaches to go with it........

I don't need it......so I am 41 and done......stick a fork in it and call it good..........a person can only take so much......then you can't bring them back no matter how hard you try......and I am there..........

No matter what, all that "comes my way" will go into the "friend zone" for me.........No exceptions.

 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 49
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/25/2011 7:44:16 PM
ro1970: Whether or not I am "actively looking" doesn't matter.

It isn't going to come either way.....and what HAS come my way is recent years are game players with all the drama, B.S. and headaches to go with it........

I don't need it......so I am 41 and done......stick a fork in it and call it good..........a person can only take so much......then you can't bring them back no matter how hard you try......and I am there..........

No matter what, all that "comes my way" will go into the "friend zone" for me.........No exceptions.


What say you and me this Friday? I'll bring the condoms.

But don't plan on staying over, I have another date later on that nite.
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 50
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/26/2011 5:37:24 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

That's a typical male B.S. response.............and it makes me...............

and like hell!


Is it any wonder why women out here have such trust issues and as a result walk away????
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 51
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 12/26/2011 6:43:18 AM

Whether or not I am "actively looking" doesn't matter.

It isn't going to come either way.....and what HAS come my way is recent years are game players with all the drama, B.S. and headaches to go with it........

The difference when you're genuinely not actively looking, of course is that you don't care who you meet or don't meet. You're content already doing other things. Unless, of course you're not looking hoping that you end up with someone that way. That doesn't work.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 54
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 1/6/2012 4:40:38 PM
If yall ladies above lived in Texas...
we'd help you overcome that stat.
So blame geography.
:-P
 dulcheprimaveta7
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 55
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 1/17/2012 10:08:54 PM
I think it's great, don't change your attitude, nothing wrong with saving yourself for that special someone. In fact it sounds very romantic. Oops I guess that sounds corney too. To be or not to be. lol
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 57
5+ years single..how many of you out there?
Posted: 1/18/2012 8:57:58 AM
~OT~ I just reached the 12 year mark. I no longer think too much about it. I did at the 10 year mark, but now? Not something I complain about, but something I certainly do joke about. I was counting my years in LTRs versus those I've been single/alone in my adult life, and that was a tad shocking on paper, not shocking in terms of sanity however.
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