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 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 20
I don't get itPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
yep, you are indeed attractive. you and i think that there must be something in your attitude that decided for them to call it quits. or they just maybe intimidated by your beauty
 ryandrw89
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 21
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 1:13:14 PM
I dont get this either. Ive been on this for two years and have only found one person on here. She was nice but we agreed we werent fit. Not one other girl has said anything to me on here. Anyone I message never replies. Im not an ass, nor am I rude. Yet and still, i have no luck here.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 22
view profile
History
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 2:23:41 PM
Same experience here. I wish I could say something wise but all I can say is you are definitely not alone.
 StraylightRunn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 23
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 2:41:00 PM
OP, seriously sometimes dates just don't go very far. What can you do? You shouldn't be having sex with a guy just so he'll call you back anyway...that's weird.



I dont get this either. Ive been on this for two years and have only found one person on here. She was nice but we agreed we werent fit. Not one other girl has said anything to me on here. Anyone I message never replies. Im not an ass, nor am I rude. Yet and still, i have no luck here.


Sorry...but give me a break. "Anyone I message never replies" What was the message? "Hey baby wanna fvck?" I mean seriously. I'm not by any stretch of the imagination a traditionally good looking person, and I don't have any problems with getting messages. Either A. You need to expand your standards. B. You need to re-evaluate what it is you're looking for in a person.

Keep in mind there are a lot of tactics guys use and employ to get "ahead" in the dating game. They create fake profiles..(with pictures of really hot women) and see what kinds of things men are using to contact women. Also if you're only messaging really hot women by no exaggeration they're probably getting dozens and dozens of messages from every horn dog in a 250 mi radius. So be creative perhaps?
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 25
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 2:41:38 PM
For you and all women the world over....
I hate to tell you this but there is only a small group of men you email.
They get mail from tons of ladies and can take their pick.

The rest sit at home with empty mailboxes.

so email guys outside your norm.
(by that I mean outside your girlish fancy of the perfect guy)
Cus those guys get all the mail anyways.
You are competing for them with top 10 ten hotties.

A guy good enuff
will in the end..... BE good enuff.
Perfection is a never ending mirage of loneliness.
 TimeFlies24
Joined: 10/9/2011
Msg: 26
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 3:35:00 PM
OP- I dont kow what it could be. You are nice looking, and based on your pics u seem to be a fun peron. The only thing I can say is for you to think about your past dates and see if there was anything that you may have been doing that would send a different message than you were trying to convey. Sometimes we dont even realize what we're doing subconsciously.
 ss-scott
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 27
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 3:43:13 PM
from what I have heard from people... if you are looking for sex from a woman on plenty of fish... find the profile that say "if your only looking for one thing dont talk to me" it screams that this person is maybe weak and will easily cave... personally I did that for a little while and I am over it... but maybe take that off your profile.. give things time and dont have expectations or bring pressure too fast... show interest in the person and who they are... which may or may not be their career...

you are attractive that is not the issue... make sure you love yourself.. too..
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 28
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 4:07:06 PM
It's not them, it's you. It's the kind of guys you go for. You say you want to find a nice guy, but still end up with the opposite. Try broadening your horizons.
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 29
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 4:08:40 PM

For you and all women the world over....
I hate to tell you this but there is only a small group of men you email.
They get mail from tons of ladies and can take their pick.

The rest sit at home with empty mailboxes.

so email guys outside your norm.
(by that I mean outside your girlish fancy of the perfect guy)
Cus those guys get all the mail anyways.
You are competing for them with top 10 ten hotties.

A guy good enuff
will in the end..... BE good enuff.
Perfection is a never ending mirage of loneliness.

This is well written and dead on. Kudos to you, mate!
 pasmal
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 30
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 4:20:54 PM
You seem like you jump into situations vs take the dull, slow, no expectations route, then get crushed.
Some people think the slow lane is for losers, but others just feel better for it and can keep dating.
You have to figure, 9 out 10 people you wont be coupling up with.
The really sad thing is to base a ltr on superficialities--looks--ok, good enough, not a jerk, ok.
A ltr has some intangible element--a shared love, goal or something undefined.
Don't feel terrible that this is rare. If all you wanted was to be told you're pretty, many will be there for that purpose.
Assuming you feel you know you're appealing, ask yourself--what it is you really want in a SO, and does this date have that vs, the gee he doesn't call--maybe there is something to him after all, if he doesn't want me.
Could be he knows there wasn't enough going forward, maybe he knew all along.
Don't be about "winning", validation, having mass appeal, or popularity--take the ego out of the equation.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 31
view profile
History
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 4:30:44 PM
Ignore whether you sleep with them or not, its irrelevant

Someone who genuinely likes you wont give a toss either way unless you drop your slime catchers before hes said hello or you have a 99 date rule

As long as its a natural progression and doesnt seem either contrived or manipulative then no blokes I've ever known really think about it in the kind of obsessive paranoid overthinking way most women seem to

Its hard to really know what the problem might be though without transcripts of a few of your dates (videos too if they were ones that ended in sex haha) seriously though, for all you know you "could" have something bizarre in the sex department that puts people off even

But its more likely its to do with how and why you pick men, so that might be worth some thought

And after that would come down to how you are on dates

Even some quite innoccuous things can be read to mean something quite offputting

I had a friend who used to slag off exes thinking it would show dates they didnt have to worry about any lingering exes or relationships that werent fully "done"

Instead though, it made men see her as a bit of a psycho who was still emotionally invested with several exes

So dont just think about what you say, but think about how it might come across to somebody else, as that kind of thing can be a common problem

Other than that, you didnt think you'd go on one date and end up married did you?

Mutual matching is quite hard and MOST interactions wont work out. If it was THAT easy there'd be no such thing as single people, dating sites or divorce

And if it took say 20 dates or failed relationships for somebody to find someone fairly compatible on average then that would mean some people might be lucky enough to find it first time out, but others it might take 100 or more as thats how averages tend to work

So try not to overthink things or second guess what someone else "might think", because whats the point of pretending to be someone you arent to snag someone who wouldnt like the real you? Kind of nuts really isnt it?

Just be yourself, do what you think feels right for YOU and try to learn from each outing as it IS something that improves with time and practise (like sex actually lol)
 sweetgoddess67
Joined: 1/5/2010
Msg: 32
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 5:41:28 PM
ok my theory on dating is like trying on shoes...you can try on many different pairs, but 95% of them are not going to be a fit at all...and of the 5% that might fit fairly good, there will still be areas that could fit better! So when you find a pair that fits pretty good, just go for it...keep them, and give them a test drive...dont hold back!
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 33
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 5:43:21 PM

ok my theory on dating is like trying on shoes...you can try on many different pairs, but 95% of them are not going to be a fit at all...and of the 5% that might fit fairly good, there will still be areas that could fit better! So when you find a pair that fits pretty good, just go for it...keep them, and give them a test drive...dont hold back!

That's a terrible analogy.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 34
view profile
History
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 6:20:23 PM
Yeah I did kind of think that too lol

Although from a singular perspective it does kind of work I guess

Its only "really" bad if it was being stated as an overall view of the practise as that would be indicative of a bit of a princess syndrome in play. But based just on what was written theres nothing to really indicate that and she could also be viewing it as like trying on a pair of shoes for the bloke too

Except from the blokes perspective if you have to shoe horn yourself into a pair of shoes theyre pretty crap

But having to do that with a woman is a rare, enjoyable and very memorable exception
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 35
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 6:26:26 PM

For you and all women the world over....
I hate to tell you this but there is only a small group of men you email.
They get mail from tons of ladies and can take their pick.

The rest sit at home with empty mailboxes.

so email guys outside your norm.
(by that I mean outside your girlish fancy of the perfect guy)
Cus those guys get all the mail anyways.
You are competing for them with top 10 ten hotties.

A guy good enuff
will in the end..... BE good enuff.
Perfection is a never ending mirage of loneliness.



Stray Cat, I could say the same thing about us women who sit at home night after night with an empty mailbox as well.

I have been on and off this site and others for 6 plus years and have reached out to numerous men on here only to be totally ignored. I have changed up my profile and the list goes on and on. I would like to think I have much to offer someone.....I work hard for a living....in other words, I am NOT on the government dole, am very educated, can hold an intelligent conversation, not a cheater, not into the headgames or bar/party scene, for starters....and yet, I get the "one date and out stuff".

Actually what I usually get is the guy telling me the following.......

"well....I think you are really a great person....kind, caring, intelligent, educated, hardworking, etc.....but I just don't think we can be compatible (or fit whatever adjective you wish here)......but we can be terrific friends - we can go to dinner, movies, day trips. etc......."

and for the big finish....

"I'll call you next week and we can do something together as friends....."

now isn't it funny how next week comes and goes and I never hear from that person again.......until it's months even up to a year down the road.......and then they call........

Needless to say, I don't answer the phone, much less return their call........why should I?

OP for what it's worth, I have the same problem as you.

and I just don't care anymore.

I've solved the problem......I just don't date anymore....no point in putting your best foot forward only to have it stomped on.
 wildandfreee
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 38
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 9:43:43 PM
you are good looking, not high maintenance as you say,may be you are looking in the wrong places, try offline as well , with the variety of sharks in the sea you wont know who will be serious or not with you and i do agree with other posters to no expect too much when going on dates, you might be surprise one day :) good luck
 BrownInOrange
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 39
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 9:46:34 PM
Try dating someone you normally wouldn't give a chance to?

Or spend more time getting to know each other online before jumping to the meet. Harder to walk away from someone if you've spent the last month talking and getting to know each other and developing a soft spot for them.
 NotSoHappyMember
Joined: 9/28/2011
Msg: 40
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 10:19:20 PM
Read your post on forums. Can't see why retain a man. It's them, not you. Do you have a personality trait, or something that scares men off? Aggressive or assertive women do tend to scare off insecure men very easily.
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 43
I don't get it
Posted: 11/6/2011 3:12:40 AM
Lora......in reference to your posts (see message 37 and 38)

You are ABSOLUTELY right about being stood up. UNACCEPTABLE!

I could totally understand if I had a time/place set up to have a "first meet" and the person who you are meeting with takes ONE MOMENT to give you a call to say they can't make it. But this sh*t of no call or text........is NOT acceptable, and needless to say, if they have the balls to try to call me a week or two or even more down the line.....I won't even answer.

And yes I have had that more times than I care to count.

And the kicker is, men out there in the dating pond actually have the audacity to wonder why we can't trust them with the sh*tty games they play.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 44
I don't get it
Posted: 11/6/2011 4:01:59 AM
Call me crazy if ya want, but when growing up, it didn't take me long to figure out that one must not believe and assume something about a person on their words alone,but their actions. Before believing someone's "word", I know you must know the person themselves. And you don't get to "know" a person,via texts,emails and NOT having met,at least once.

I honestly don't know what the complaint is about with these types of guys???? They are showing you their true colours,saving you even more time and effort,,,,and pain, it seems.

If you think that was blunt, you should sit in on my interviews with people trying to work for me.
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