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 AUTHOR
 chowe1948
Joined: 8/28/2011
Msg: 27
Dealing with POF rejectionPage 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Oh too funny....
 jt guy
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 28
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/7/2011 7:29:14 PM
OP: Please, do as I do, as I judge success by the ones who say yes to my messages, not by the ones who say no. The rejections roll off me like water off the back of a duck. It takes time to meet the one and remember online dating is much different than real life. If you have been out of the dating game for very long, boy have things changed.
 softshoe100
Joined: 8/3/2011
Msg: 30
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Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/8/2011 4:41:10 AM
Hey there we are all rejects or have rejected someone. Don't take this to serious and if you are really interested in finding someone get out of the house and do things you enjoy. There are some really good and bad people here. I've met some. Have a good day.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 31
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/8/2011 6:16:46 AM

lol...I'm an expert at POF rejection.
So I will now share my tip with you.
After you get "rejected" sit down in a chair, turn the tv on, crack open a beer and say "fukk 'em"


Chuckle....

OP...rejection is synonymous with on-line-dating (OLD)..I used to send out a note and then delete it from my sent box so I wouldn't remember who never wrote back....thereby, attempting to avoid the rejection...

Truly, internet dating is just one more avenue to date and find someone...

The funniest ways to meet people...my father-in-law introduced me to my g/f-how strange is that.
 Orgulloso
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 32
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/8/2011 7:08:56 AM
@Firefly,

"Ready" couldn't have stated it any better. POF is a mix of people that have good intentions but don't realize they're not ready, fakers, phonies, cheaters, liars and yes the few of us that HOPE to meet someone.

Also, don't pay attention to the "regulars" that take every opportunity to spew their hate. "Grow thick skin" crap. Rejection hurts no matter what, if it doesn't bother you then you're either lying or not acknowleging / blocking your feelings which is unhealthy.

You'll find someone, just have faith and patience hon.

Cheers,

G
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 33
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Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/8/2011 7:38:47 AM
I don't know..I seem to have good success when I email someone. But? I really review their profile to look for commonalities. But? If I get no reply, I truly don't sweat it! Lots of men think here if a woman emails them first they are looking for sex....and that is why POF made a block button!
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 34
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Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/8/2011 8:15:46 AM
And you are not Moonie???...............

I think most on here would like that sex and romance, but just not with anyone, and everyone, but rather only with those few that we truly connect with long term....

The roles are changing within the dating game and the 21st century has arrived even if some would hope that it has not. One can not have, fight for, and get upset about most things that are not fair and equal for both women and men, and then get just as upset, or retreat back centuries when it comes to dating and romance.

Equality is something we should enjoy, engage in, and be willing to maintain, for the sake of that equality. I do not ask the women I date or have a relationship with, to cook, clean, iron, and shop for me, but rather we do it together and take turns, and I expect and respect those women that will come forward and be my equal.....contact me, and pursue me as much as I do them!!

cd.........
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 35
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Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/8/2011 9:56:20 AM
OK Mr. Deac, yes I guess sex is in the actual equation! It is the total package and so so difficult to find like minded!Either get one or the other...more of the one though I may add! Just looking for what you have decribed Deac....same objectives, sharing equally....who knew it would be so difficult to find?
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 36
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Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/8/2011 11:08:48 AM
And who knew it would be so hard to get our women to actually believe it, trust it, and share all of it equally....................so many want to be pursued and retreat back to that format, and then wonder why some of the best around seem to just pass them by.

Maybe this is one good reason that I return that email sent to me, no matter what, at least the first time, thanking them for being assertive enough to want to know more about me. But unfortunately for most after that, they seem to immediately revert back to the "please chase me" attitude, and fade into the sunset when it does not happen.

cd............
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 37
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Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/8/2011 11:33:44 AM
Well, to my mind, the easiest way to avoid rejection is to not make the first move, ever!

Of course, you may still get rejected on subsequent initiatives, but in general, women are motivated enough to make the first move with sufficient regularity that it has never left me wanting or even waiting, particularly. My own impression is that the ladies are somewhat more interested in finding true romance than men, but that may be just a subjective thing on my part.

I always send a polite response to any messages I receive, but even with making no effort to advance my cause, initiatives continue to arrive with some regularity, albeit not quite as frequently as one might desire.

The equality issue has a lot of vocal support from both sexes, however, I have the impression that certain activities, like taking out the trash, unblocking the sewer, digging the car out of snow banks and applying roofing tar tend to not elicit anything remotely resembling equal commitment and participation from the opposite sex. At least not after you are firmly on the hook!
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 38
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/8/2011 2:48:55 PM

I have the impression that certain activities, like taking out the trash, unblocking the sewer, digging the car out of snow banks and applying roofing tar tend to not elicit anything remotely resembling equal commitment and participation from the opposite sex. At least not after you are firmly on the hook


You need to find a woman that lives in a condo, and has a full time handy man living in the building for tenants to use, and does not own a car because she prefers to hike it.. Lastly she does not own a feline.. Then you got it made in the shade..
 coastalmermaid
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 39
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/8/2011 11:59:26 PM
This online thing seems to work for some and for others not so much. I have a girlfriend met a guy on here after just a few weeks online and two months later he had moved in with her...6 months later they are engaged, bought a house together and it's all happily ever after. Myself I"ve been around this site a good few years now and never even gotten to the dating stage. We're all different. Sometimes I think it's just the pure dumb luck of the draw.

I'm one of those women who certainly does initiate emails with men who I think I may have some kind of connexion with. Sometimes I get a positive response...sometimes not. For me and many others the trick is learning not to take things personally...as my online personna is not the real me, just a very small subjective glimpse of a reality others perceive through what ever coloured glasses they are wearing.

Don't lose hope...maybe just hide your profile a while and come back to it looking through new eyes
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 40
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/9/2011 4:25:59 AM

The women are all financially independent and want the same, want to travel, all wonderful golfers, skiers, roller-bladers, horse or motorcycle riders and they want the same. Ain't gonna happen WITH a good relationship USUALLY as well, which by the way is usually listed last.


Just looking at this list and finding what on it could I possibly say I do other than I am financially independent and used to horseback ride when a teen.. I am not into motorcycles, golfing, skiing, traveling (prefer to sleep in my own bed) or roller skating..

However am into Hatha and Yin Yoga which it the ancient precursor of what is Qigong today.. I am so a very high raw vegan.. Knowing how strange this might be to a whole lot of people I do not make contact with anyone other than writing on the message boards..

As for the OP see if there is a meetup group in your area.. What is nice about them is you can join interest groups and make plenty of friends and you never know when Mr Right might join up as well..

Good Luck
nativerock
 TheBeastHere
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 41
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Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/9/2011 5:14:39 PM
It only hurts for the first 10,000 times. Once you have reached this level, then you fear getting a response and blowing the streak.
 URXO2
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 42
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Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/9/2011 5:47:54 PM
Rejection isn’t necessarily a refection of you OP; many of the fish are shy they've experienced the fry pan and fear it, yet they are here hungry they’ll bite if you’re patient...

Welcome to the forum you’ll like it here, this is lonely hearts purgatory we are all doomed until we learn to love ourselves...
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 43
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Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/9/2011 7:44:01 PM
I have had some pretty silly rejections. I usually email for quite awhile before I meet someone.

I have been rejected after sharing more pics and in one pic I had a cat on my shirt, he freaked and said in his experience any woman he has known that wore a shirt with a cat on it was too independent. So I was rejected because of a shirt. *phew*

There's been others but I'll save those stories for later.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 45
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/10/2011 5:39:16 AM
Thanks "Blue Eyes Shine" for your "cat tale."

Having just experienced my own rejection --- a first "here" and so naturally a big one -- since jumping into this pond, it helped to know that i'm not the only one left holding an empty net!!!

Ah well. I'm always happy to buy a new bathing suit, and can bait my own hook (oh, god: does that make me too independent?:)

 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 46
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Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/10/2011 7:52:35 AM

Ah well. I'm always happy to buy a new bathing suit, and can bait my own hook (oh, god: does that make me too independent? :)

It probably does. Sometimes I think being able to walk and talk at the same time is an automatic DQ - you're not bright enough to let The Man do everything for you! It always makes me wonder just how they thought we managed as single mothers, freshly divorced single women, etc etc etc, without some superior being to 'save' us.

Seriously, I do know that's not a common attitude, at least not in the younger generations, and it's not all prevalent in my own. But I've heard it so many times from both men and women, there have been times I wondered myself how I managed to survive.

One of the funnier 'rejections' I got was from someone I'd never had any kind of contact with. The man was a professional artist on the east coast and I liked the photos of his work that he'd posted, so I added him to my favorites list. A week or so later I got a long rambling rant about how bitter and argumentative I was! Total bewilderment on my part - I have no idea how anyone can be argumentative without having any kind of communication first.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 47
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/10/2011 1:23:33 PM
I prefer the premptive rejections. The ones where you send a message
merely commenting on something interesting in their profile, or perhaps
mentioning one of their forum posts, wish them well in their search, say
happy fishing or whatever, and they respond with "sorry I'm not interested"
sorry, you're not what I'm looking for" Sorry, you're this that or the other
thing."

I sometimes would like to respond with um...did you even read what I wrote?
I wasn't suggesting anything. But I figure they're either too dense to understand
that or they've already blocked me.

Either way, don't consider fishes your only means of meeting people and don't
take rejections (or forum posts) from random strangers so seriously.
 pretzelman60
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 48
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/10/2011 1:23:39 PM
rejection on POF is no different than rejection in any other form. It is what it is. Deal with it. I have found a sure fire way to avoid rejection...I never make the first move.

End of story


JMO
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 49
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Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/10/2011 2:43:33 PM

I sometimes would like to respond with um...did you even read what I wrote?
I wasn't suggesting anything. But I figure they're either too dense to understand
that or they've already blocked me.

it's reasonable to assume romantic intention in a first message, since that's the primary reason people on dating sites send first messages. the more gracious thought would be to thank these guys for the clarity of their communication, rather then condemn them for not being mind readers.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 50
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/10/2011 3:18:37 PM
If POF rejections get to you,
you are probably not ready for the real life ones.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 51
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Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/10/2011 3:28:56 PM

it's reasonable to assume romantic intention in a first message, since that's the primary reason people on dating sites send first messages. the more gracious thought would be to thank these guys for the clarity of their communication, rather then condemn them for not being mind readers.

I guess that was the mistake I made several months ago when I sent someone a message complimenting them on a well-written profile. Absolutely nothing in it prompted any kind of response, except possibly a 'thank you' if that. What I got was a really snarky smartassed answer and blocked. Kinda silly and self-defeating, because his screen ID is also his business name - one would think he might have been just a tad bit nicer since he's using the site for advertising as well.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 52
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/10/2011 4:33:42 PM
it's reasonable to assume romantic intention in a first message, since that's the primary reason people on dating sites send first messages. the more gracious thought would be to thank these guys for the clarity of their communication


Nope. Probably somewhere around 25% of the first e-mails arriving in my inbox are messages about something in my profile (i.e. "Is that an Adirondack High Peak [in your photo]?" or "Great forum post" or "For someone your age, you look____________" or "What do you have against smokers (or motorcycles or. . . ) ?"

Etc.

And i agree: it's nice that someone has taken the time to notice and write. So nice that I always send back my thanks! Although some recipients are probably not thankful to receive my um, "expressive" replies to the smoking question!
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 54
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Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/10/2011 6:21:11 PM


it's reasonable to assume romantic intention in a first message, since that's the primary reason people on dating sites send first messages. the more gracious thought would be to thank these guys for the clarity of their communication

Nope. Probably somewhere around 25% of the first e-mails arriving in my inbox are messages about something in my profile (i.e. "Is that an Adirondack High Peak [in your photo]?" or "Great forum post" or "For someone your age, you look____________" or "What do you have against smokers (or motorcycles or. . . ) ?"

so you support my point. three out of four messages you receive carry what you believe is a romantic intention. if that's not enough to make an assumption of romantic intent reasonable, nothing is.
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