Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Dealing with POF rejection      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ARIESLOOKING192150
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 174
Dealing with POF rejectionPage 8 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
@ Silverlight

I have to say I do understand where you are coming from and how you feel. But on the other hand I also have to say I have no sympathy for you. The reason why I say that is because I've been through it to. Why just the other day I had this woman to jump all over me. She lives in the same state as I do. She wanted me to call her,sent me her number. The number was long distance. Washington St as a matter of fact. When I asked her if she had thought about changing her number to a local number, She went off on me. I got a page full of "told off"

I've had this happen to me "told off" for no real reason more times than I can count. Cussed at, Fussed at and you name it. Usually for no good reason. Like I said in another post, I had one to tell me she would like to bite my di%^ off and watch me bleed out. But I still answer messages. I'm not going to take it out on someone else because other folks in general are crazy.

I don't mean this to be ugly to you. But when you join a dating site, Especially one like POF that doesn't screen the people who join, You should automatically know and be ready for what comes. You should know you are going to come across some nasty, sick minded people. When I joined here I knew it and expected it. With that in mind I answer everyone who writes me. I get a good many messages. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. Women seem to like me. With me being the type that answers, I get a good many dates.

A good many of these turned out to be nuts. A few of them were good women. If I had turned my nose up to them because at first I went by a picture and a few words in a profile, I would have missed out on these good women that I still am friends with now.

Lastly, You say that you do this to keep your sanity. If it's that bad maybe you don't belong here. If you are going to let it get to you to the point that you ignore other people who have done no wrong to you, Maybe you don't belong here.
If I ignored other women who write to me because I've met so many nutty women here, I would have missed out on the good women I know now. I'm sorry, I have a hard time wrapping my head around ignoring people. Two wrongs don't make a right.
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 175
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 4/27/2012 12:35:46 PM
domo31@

"Hah thats why I dont send messages anymore. Every guy I try to message never messages me back so I wont put the eoffrt [sic] in for the same result multiple times over."

I have to wonder how many other women and men have had such crummy luck on here that they no longer make the effort to message anyone. The more people take that position, the worse it will get on here as everyone waits for someone else to make the first move.
 SilverLight
Joined: 11/26/2010
Msg: 176
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 4/27/2012 1:33:50 PM
I message guys when I find one that looks like a good match. Sometimes I hear back, sometimes I don't. It doesn't deter me from continuing to message people. To me, no reply simply means "I'm not interested." I got my answer.

Aries, we do what works for ourselves. You reply to everyone, and I don't. To each his own. I think you're making way too much of this. I've tried to find a middle ground for us both on this issue, and you continue to find fault with me. Not sure what else I can say.
 ARIESLOOKING192150
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 177
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 4/27/2012 2:54:52 PM
you continue to find fault with me


@SilverLight

I'M SORRY, I don't mean it that way. I guess you can say I am only trying to point out something. Above I said I had no sympathy for you. After thinking about it I shouldn't have said that. I apologise. But on the other hand I can't say that I know anyone who likes being ignored either. Do you? I mean, Think about it, Something simple. If you spoke to someone lets say at your local grocery and asked what they thought of the meat that day and they just turned and walked away, When you know they heard you, What would you think? You would probably think that person was a stuck up prick.

If someone speaks to me I at least owe it to them to speak back. That's a human being with feelings just like I have. I understand, No one wants to be cussed out. You don't want someone talking nasty to you. I understand. All I am trying to say is, I know no one who wants to be ignored either. Two wrongs don't make a right. Any one who disrespect you by talking nasty to you or hounding you, That's wrong. But it's just as wrong to ignore another human being that want's to be acknowledged as much as you do. Please forgive me if I seem like I am riding you. I'm not. I don't mean it that way.

One last thing. I know some men don't have the brains that God promised a billy-goat. They don't know what thanks but no thanks means. If you have someone who refuses to leave you alone that's what the block list is for. I know of no social net working site that doesn't have a block list. If some guy keeps pestering you, Being nasty, Block his azz. If he is stupid enough to try to follow you to another site, Block him.

I'm sorry, I just don't believe in taking it out on everyone because a few are pricks. I'm not judging you. You do as you see fit. I'm just discussing this with you.


The more people take that position, the worse it will get on here as everyone waits for someone else to make the first move.


This is dead nuts right. Three of the things that wrong with this site. To much ignoring, Not enough talking, To many idiots.
 SilverLight
Joined: 11/26/2010
Msg: 178
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 4/27/2012 3:03:58 PM
It's probably a matter of interpreting things a different way. I don't see it as "taking it out" on people by staying quiet. I've literally been driven to this choice by what kept happening over and over when I did respond. I already explained all that. My duty is to protect myself first and foremost. I got tired of the negative reactions to my "thanks but no thanks."

I'm glad you are responding to everyone, I'm happy for anyone that does, male or female. I'm not saying my choice of actions is best for everyone, but I know my life is less stressful now.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 179
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 4/27/2012 3:09:05 PM

I have to wonder how many other women and men have had such crummy luck on here that they no longer make the effort to message anyone. The more people take that position, the worse it will get on here as everyone waits for someone else to make the first move.


The level of inertia, especially on the part of women, appears to have become frighteningly high.
 What_He_Said
Joined: 1/11/2012
Msg: 180
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 4/27/2012 5:15:46 PM
Different approaches and different vehicles work for people with varying degrees of success. If something is working for you , then focus on that. If engage in the things that are not as successful, you'll only find an increasing sense of frustration. Not a good place to be.

Another poster made the following suggestion:

Do not use POF as your primary means to meet people. You will always be disappointed.

Join meetup.com look for groups near you.
Get out and do the things you like to do.


While I wouldn't say you will always be disappointed, if it feels like a second job or just isn't plain fun, then re think your approach.

Best of luck.
 Lovetravel2012
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 181
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 4/28/2012 7:21:26 AM
Hey...I know !!!
I have been internet dating off and on for about 15 years..
Dont feel alone.Hope you have found happiness!!
Sue
 Sapphire256
Joined: 2/18/2012
Msg: 182
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 4/28/2012 9:14:29 PM
It goes both ways. I will read a woman's profile and if i'm interested i'll come up with a thoughtful message but I rarely ever get a reply. After 3 months i've only had one person reply to me on POF :/
 Truth2882
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 183
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 4/28/2012 10:46:42 PM

It goes both ways. I will read a woman's profile and if i'm interested i'll come up with a thoughtful message but I rarely ever get a reply. After 3 months i've only had one person reply to me on POF :/


I get messages all the time,but its always single moms that are "students". Yeah no,not going there.
 ARIESLOOKING192150
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 184
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 4/29/2012 1:23:50 AM

I get messages all the time,but its always single moms that are "students". Yeah no,not going there.


May I ask why? What's wrong with that? I've been out with several that were single, Still had a kid at home and going to school. I kinda like it myself. Shows drive. Also shows a willingness to better ones self. None of them were the right one for me. Not because they had a kid or going to school. I had a good time with them though.
 Sapphire256
Joined: 2/18/2012
Msg: 185
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 4/29/2012 4:49:23 PM
I'm just saying if someone takes the time to write a well thought out message, it wouldnt hurt to reply even if it's just say your not interested or just want to be friends. Guess i'm just too nice?
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 186
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 4/29/2012 10:25:52 PM
A person uses one of five senses on POF.

Of course; its going to be inhumane.

;)

 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 187
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 5/10/2012 5:02:33 PM
:(

A palamino may be dead

I'm not sure we dealt with it so well.

It all went to my head.

=====================

Did I tell you about you a girl I knew?

:(

They sure missed out:

meatheads
 RyJFa
Joined: 4/28/2012
Msg: 188
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 5/10/2012 6:34:38 PM

It's the lack of men willing and able to make a commitment that has turned me off the site. Lots of players/serial daters, etc.
And yes, I'm sure the women are just as whacked out. But since I only date men, that's where my perspective comes from.


Meh. You're right on both counts. Most every other man I know who uses or has used this site did so only for finding casual hookups. You should see the sorts of things they say about PlentyOfFish on BodyBuilding - lots of muscleheads bragging about how many girls they can find and use and dump.

Girls are definitely whacked out. The first one in good shape to send me a message was clearly as dumb as a box of rocks, and starting blowing up my message box after I never responded to her. The sort of reaction my rejection elicited was positively hilarious - she wound up convincing herself that she must be too good for me, or something. Didn't make much sense, but hey. That's been my experience with PoF as a whole - lots of inflated egos and unrealistic expectations.
 Rockymountainman65
Joined: 6/9/2012
Msg: 189
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 6/25/2012 7:45:02 PM
I think that what a lot of guys do on here and the women fall for it.
 Maggie__x
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 190
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 6/25/2012 8:25:35 PM
I always get rejected by the guys im really feeling. The ***holes love me though.
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 191
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 6/25/2012 11:29:52 PM
No, it's not expecting too much to want to get a reply if you've sent a message, even if it's a "no thanks." I do try and even reply to the ones I'm not interested in. . especially if it's a thoughtful message, even if it's to say "no thanks". However, if they've written to me before (and clearly can't remember), and they write again, and I'm still not interested, then I just don't reply,and block.
 CptIronJack
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 192
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 6/26/2012 6:49:04 PM
I've been on POF going somewhere around 3 years and to be honest the first 2.5 were wasted time, fact it was only last december that things actually happend and I've no idea why. Having said that I've several very good friends, some I've met in person one in particular I've not in over 2 years but we spend more time texting and talking pretty much daily but live half a country away from each other. DON'T take online to seriously, its great and you just may meet somone or you won't so don't let it get to you. Its really not that much personal rejection, as one of your posters put it, its a catalog and your free to browse.

Now as for the "want a relationship" part? a good relationship is better than being single, being single is better than a bad relationship. I was told the other day by a woman I'd been dating that I'd lied, I really don't want a relationship. She couldn't be more wrong. What she failed to realize was I didn't want a relationship with her. So your being an honest dependable hardworking love to travel fun sexy person??? according to who? Those are great words but are you really looking to match words?

In 3 years I've gone through a lot of what you'd call rejection, I simply call lack of interest and don't worry about it. online is online, I still have real life and it works fine there. I live in a small town between two small cities so I use online to meet others as I really can't be out every night and in fact I'm out less and less BUT I AM STILL OUT, so back away from your keys, this isn't the only world, its just a tool. Its not a matter of them rejecting you, its a matter of you not finding the one two half a dozen who find you honest dependable hardworking love to travel fun sexy. Their still out there :)
 CptIronJack
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 193
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 6/26/2012 6:52:55 PM
Silver I had to chime in here. I've a female friend who's on christian something or other, she complains daily that all the guys on there want is sex, so i guess they figure the christian name gives them some way to hide this fact? lol

"It's the lack of men willing and able to make a commitment that has turned me off the site. Lots of players/serial daters, etc"

Doesnt matter what sight your on, your still going to have that...sorry
 PhotoGirl870
Joined: 6/14/2012
Msg: 195
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 6/27/2012 10:17:50 PM
I am not trying to sound rude here but rejection is a part of life. I guess some deal with it better than others. I have gotten a ton of rejection from this site, but SOOOOOO what! It's not like I knew them anyway and I won't know them so what's the big deal? You shouldn't let rejection from someone you don't know get you down because for every person that rejects you there is someone that won't. That is how I deal with it, I don't know them so it's not something to get all butt hurt over. You know you are honest, dependable, hard working, fun, and sexy so who cares what the person that rejected you thinks? It's their loss, someone will come along to appreciate what you have to offer. Here is how I see it, if for every 10 rejections you get and the 11th one isn't a rejection, then you have won.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 196
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 10/9/2016 12:11:16 PM

You shouldn't let rejection from someone you don't know get you down because for every person that rejects you there is someone that won't.


Do you happen to have a map showing the locations of the allegedly 50 % that won't?
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 197
view profile
History
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 10/13/2016 6:33:17 PM
I get a bandaid, shot of Whisky and move on to the next heartache.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 198
view profile
History
Dealing with POF rejection
Posted: 11/8/2016 4:24:06 PM
Depends on your perspective.

For some, it's like digging through a concrete wall with your bare hands. At some point, you'll get tired of having bloody fingers. Once you decide it isn't worth the trouble, is when you discover that things on your side are pretty good. Reacquaint yourself with those good things, and forget about that wall. After a while, you won't even see it, because it's no longer important. You will be too busy on your side doing things that are far more rewarding. And you made your life simpler.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Dealing with POF rejection