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 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 51
Watching your partner have sex with someone elsePage 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
^^^ Funny how our perspective changes after actually trying something new!
That doesn't mean we HAVE to try everything though...but if you're on the fence, sometimes it's good to give it a shot!

The trouble most people have is admitting to themselves that they're curious about something ....then they fear judgment! These forums are proof enough of how judgment "open-minded" people can be!


LOL...geuss Im not that liberal....

I'm not either....I'm probably one of the most politically Conservative people you'll ever meet...but That doesn't mean I am on social issues...which I believe should be handled and stay at the local level...as in community or neighborhood level! That way people are free to live where they fit in best!
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 52
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Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 6:01:50 AM

There is actually a term for this behavior - Cuckold - look it up.

Cuckholding is a very specific form of this kind of behaviour. That involves humiliation to some degree, and a very clear communication between partners about expectations and desires.

I don't see that the OP was asking about this type of relationship at all.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 53
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Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 7:32:35 AM
Humiliation to some degree? Hmm...my personality wouldn't agree with that for sure!
 stonecastle
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 54
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Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 9:52:48 AM

Humiliation to some degree? Hmm...my personality wouldn't agree with that for sure!
As for humiliation I like some humiliation from a woman like having a woman grabbing handfuls of trifle and squelching it into my face while she laughs as if she is enjoying do it to me.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 55
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Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 10:20:06 AM
It would have to be strawberry trifle really

And I'd still want to eat it all to myself when she was finished coz its my favourite

it must have the hundreds and thousands sprinkled on it though or its just not the same
 CheckPrime
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 56
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 10:24:33 AM

Careful there youngin'

Well either the guy is very submissive and knows he's not adequate OR he's VERY confident about his abilities! There's all flavors, so for you, whom has no experience with it in any direction to question a man's masculinity, just shows your own insecurities and projections...the OP hasn't mentioned his personal flavor yet so...


Some things you don't have to experience to know you'd feel like an uncomfortable **** doing it.

For instance, I've never had a penis in my ass but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't enjoy it.

You just mad cause your an inadequate little sissy boy, don't Blame ME.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 57
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 11:05:04 AM
You just mad cause your an inadequate little sissy boy, don't Blame ME


A bit of an assumption on your part don't you think. Just because you wear the look of a wannabe gansta it doesen't mean you are any more manly than the rest of us. Most men feel they are somewhat invincible when they are young - too much testosterone and not enough common sense does funny things to the mind - just witness a guy in the midst of roid rage as an example - it makes it easy for the government to send them in as sacrifical pawns of wars of thier own making. Those days of delusion were sweet I must say but most of us outgrow that phase or die trying.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 58
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 11:44:06 AM
Alex....nice SPELLING and grammar there tough guy....ever come to Denver? You should....I can school you!

I was merely pointing out that there are many different flavors of the OP's particular proclivity...not just your insecure take on it! BTW you didn't qualify your take as how YOU would feel...you stated it as HOW IT WOULD FEEL....big difference...then again you haven't got spelling, punctuation and grammar down yet so I shouldn't expect you to understand semantics!

Sorry, perhaps I should'e said; Yo, Dawg...youz trippin! downt dis on OP...you downt no hiz game...maybe hez superfly pimpin' wit dem b!tches...downt be clownin him... an downt be mean muggin' me bro cuz i skool you like you aint neva seen!

LOL ....Kids!

OP....Obviously, like I said...there will be people here with a bunch of insecurities and what not...POF isn't very Kink-friendly...at least not the forums anyway.

Have you tried Fetlife? ....it's not much of a site for meeting, but there are a lot of fetish discussions there. Starting one won't be very productive, but reading existing ones will give you more info and insight. You'll want to look up cuckold, wittol and hotwife. ... There may be other terms too... I'm not sure.


VVV EDit....I'm a bit slow Mike....I just woke up.... I'm not sure I'm getting your post.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 59
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Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 12:02:23 PM
You really ought to leave his grammar out of it




She might be really old and only on here to make friends
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 60
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 12:18:12 PM
While I dont care who else does this, and I wouldnt stop talking to them if I found out they were into it, it would not be for me. I know myself well enough to know this would only be trouble. (for me)
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 61
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 12:24:50 PM
^^^ Understandable.... That's what I thought too though. Can you elaborate on your thought...I'm curious which direction you think it would be trouble.
...Of course, it all depends on what flavor of this fetish you're responding to..there could be a wide range of possibilities.

Some women would hate the idea of the guy being the cuckold type yet turned on by the hot-wife type alpha partner...and vice versa.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 62
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Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 1:10:48 PM

You just mad cause your an inadequate little sissy boy, don't Blame ME.

Tsk tsk.. name calling isn't allowed.




Some women would hate the idea of the guy being the cuckold type yet turned on by the hot-wife type alpha partner...and vice versa.
I was introduced to a blog earlier this year that followed a female dominant and her submissive cuckhold partner. It wasn't what I would consider a typical cuckhold in that there was a lot of hot sex between them, but occasionally she would bring another home and f*ck him while the boyfriend cleaned the house or did other errands. The boyfriend kept a blog too, and wrote a book about his experiences as a submissive man.

I've teased partners about tying them to a chair in the bedroom, blindfolding them and then having sex with another in the same room. Once done with the other man, I'd release my partner and we'd have crazy wild sex that included the other man. It hasn't happened... and I'm not too worried about it.

A lot of cucks are men who are told they are inadequte in some way, that they could no longer satisfy the woman, or feel they can't satisfy their woman. Whether or not this is true will depend on the couple involved. I could never make a cuck out of my man because I happen to like everything about him and am thoroughly satisfied with our sex life.

ETA


^^^ Have you any knowledge of the Hot-Wife thing though....it's quite different. Again even that goes both ways in that there are some where the woman is very submissive and the male partner "whores" her out and enjoys seeing her used. Then there's the more equal or somewhat dominant woman with a dominant male who just gets to have her boys on the side...the male is confident in HIS ability to "take her back"....and enjoys the competition.

I'm sure there are a million variables too...

Regardless, no interest, sexual or otherwise, should be pushed onto an unwilling partner.

Admittedly, not a whole lot. Then again.. I'm not exactly a submissive woman. *grins*

My partner is submissive with me, but knows fully I'd prefer him to another. He does not enjoy the competition as he experiences jealousy easily. I don't like inflicting that on him.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 63
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 1:17:22 PM
^^^ Have you any knowledge of the Hot-Wife thing though....it's quite different. Again even that goes both ways in that there are some where the woman is very submissive and the male partner "whores" her out and enjoys seeing her used. Then there's the more equal or somewhat dominant woman with a dominant male who just gets to have her boys on the side...the male is confident in HIS ability to "take her back"....and enjoys the competition.

I'm sure there are a million variables too...

Regardless, no interest, sexual or otherwise, should be pushed onto an unwilling partner.


VVV Edit to below.... That makes perfect sense...not everyone is cut out for that sort of thing! I respect you knowing WHY though without being judgmental on those that feel different. It shows character and self awareness to be able to only judge ourselves in a situation and not the situation!
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 64
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 1:22:49 PM
It would be trouble for me, as I have learned I bond with sex.

I am not the type that can seperate sex from love...and I accept this about myself and have no desire to try and change it. It is just who I am.
 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 65
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 3:28:14 PM
I haven't done this, and don't plan on it. I haven't had a guy bring it up either. I'm selfish,and want my partner for myself only lolol. So watching my partner with someone else doesn't seem like a good idea to me.If my partner asked me to do something like that...I'd decline because it's not for me and it would make me feel uncomfortable...if he keeps insisting nonstop that means he doesn't respect me, and without respect a good relationship can't exist. I understand those might be his sexual needs (which he's entitled to), but since they wouldn't match mine...we would have to part ways.
 Sensualx3
Joined: 4/10/2011
Msg: 66
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 4:04:07 PM
From the majority of the posts I see this only being mentioned with the either the female having two males or a guy with two females. What about the flip side of this is, what does it do for the female of the partnership to watch her man with another man?

I have had the pleasure of watching my partner with another man, as well as being the other man with another couple. All instances have been great experiences and some have carried on for some time. And now my relationship with my partner has never been stronger!
 kttnmarie
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 67
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 6:50:53 PM
I'm with a man and we have three somes with other women frequently. That's because I'm bi and I enjoy watching him with her. It's very erotic tho it took me some time to understand how to deal with the jealousy factor. And separate the sex with other women vs. our relationship.

We always end up with a stronger bond with each other after we have sex with another woman. He truly does this for my pleasure. It's wonderful.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 68
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 6:51:56 PM

What about the flip side of this is, what does it do for the female of the partnership to watch her man with another man?


I've never had a male partner who was interested in this, but if I did have one, I think I'd enjoy watching him. I do enjoy watching gay male porn, after all - all that eye candy having fun together.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 69
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Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 7:20:33 PM

What about the flip side of this is, what does it do for the female of the partnership to watch her man with another man?

I didn't come out and say this, but it's what I alluded to when I said "I get to pick".
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 70
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/8/2011 11:54:30 PM
uh cuckolding is one of the hard limits for me. I'm way too possessive. If i see another male touching my woman is sexual fashion I'm ready to tear his head off.
Perhaps because I have trouble separating love and sex. I see intimacy as intimate :)
 Yew4ics
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 71
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/9/2011 4:22:44 AM
I can see how this works, if there is no emotional attachments from any direction, in the 3some. But if someone tells me he loves me, I would hope he doesn't want to farm me out and watch. It is my opinion that love cannot be part of this equation. But for fun and games? yes.
 RobertinStages
Joined: 6/20/2010
Msg: 72
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/9/2011 5:32:40 AM
Honestly, for most men it's a fantasy more than reality or should be anyway. I do know some swingers who are very successful at it. I know for me, I'm the jealous type and probably would not be much good at it. Sounds hot but damn .. idk. My "friends" tell me I would be good at it.. LOL .. go figure. I just think of this saying, "If your friends jumped off a cliff would you?" They may know how to fly BUT I know I don't.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 73
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/9/2011 5:33:23 AM
JCO - STD Police...hilarious...


ya, I've never done it, to each his own I guess - it all depends on both parties involved and the type of relationship you are in with someone else...

i'd think it'd better survive with a casual sexual relationship partner of sorts than a spousal relationship.



on my front,,,I never wanna see another guy's d1ck up close and personal in the same room raring to go...


so aside from whether or not I wanna let somebody bone my girl in front of me...
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 74
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Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/9/2011 7:22:38 AM

I can see how this works, if there is no emotional attachments from any direction, in the 3some. But if someone tells me he loves me, I would hope he doesn't want to farm me out and watch. It is my opinion that love cannot be part of this equation. But for fun and games? yes


Thats kind of a two dimensional view of it really though

The only time I've seriously considered it and would have gone along with it was with somebody I DID love, but rather than "farming them out" as you put it, the fantasy was theirs not mine

People do lots of things they dont even like, some theyre not fussed about and some they enjoy to some extent for someone they love all the time. Its only when it involves sex that the "ooh its wrong" type views seem to come out

But asking somebody to move from a house they are happy with, leave a job they love to get one that pays better and tons of other things and THATS considered perfectly "fine" which is kind of funny really

It can work just as well either with or without love as long as the two people involved are emotionally secure enough with the activity, but without that level of security both within themselves and mutually within the relationship it will cause problems even with an FB
 Ratsrule
Joined: 9/22/2011
Msg: 75
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Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/9/2011 11:25:13 AM
I don't judge people for enjoying this sort of thing (unless it's a guy I'm with and he's asking me about a threesome...then there would be upset) but I know for me I could never ever watch someone I had any kind of attachment to have sex with someone else. Simply put, it would make me feel very rejected that they would even want to.

I do wonder upon occasion how people can be so secure that it really doesn't bother them - and I'd love to be that secure in myself and my relationship but I don't think it's in my basic personality lol.
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