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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try      Home login  
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 StraylightRunn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 26
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Cheating to me is a deal breaker. Lying to me is a deal breaker (little lies for no reason other than to lie). Being Republican is a deal breaker for me. Being Catholic is a deal breaker for me. Being Mormon is a deal breaker for me. Thinking you're smart when you aren't is a deal breaker for me.
 justin5502
Joined: 9/13/2011
Msg: 27
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/11/2011 6:48:07 PM
I don't have a deal breaker.

I'm masochistic.
 free4all131220
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 28
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/11/2011 6:52:59 PM
justin, what color is the sky in your world? lol you're a funny guy
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 29
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/11/2011 6:53:24 PM
As expected, lying is near the top of the list. So here's a tip for women: When you buy new clothes and model something in front of your guy, don't ask the guy "Does this make me look fat?" or "How do I look in this?"
 justin5502
Joined: 9/13/2011
Msg: 30
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/11/2011 7:06:25 PM
free4all, I like your style. You look like the stepdad in the case concerning the "West Memphis 3." John Mark Bayer is his name, I believe. He's a nut.
 susang909
Joined: 10/2/2011
Msg: 31
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/11/2011 7:10:41 PM
Cheating,rudeness,drug addiction and physical abuse are deal breakers for me. I will not get involved with someone like that.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 32
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what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/11/2011 7:30:08 PM
Deal breakers:
(I am not mentioning the most obvious reasons that others already mentioned, such as violence, cheating, lying etc.. because that’s a given)

1. Not knowing the difference between a Freudian slip and cheating
2. Shirtless profile pictures
3. Having demands and expectations I am not comfortable with
4. Using words, spelling, punctuation, grammar, and sentence structure that is beyond comprehension.
6. Anyone who uses “relieve yourself with a willing partner” in a sentence on POF.
7. Anyone who is weak, goes to therapy for it and is proud of his relieving action.
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 33
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/11/2011 8:55:02 PM
Anger issues. I learned that quick enough in my last relationship.

And nope. I'm not gonna sit around and try to "fix" this either. People like that rarely change. The reality was either accept how he is or simply find the quickest exit and never look back. I chose the latter.
 StraylightRunn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 34
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/11/2011 9:13:01 PM
Lying is not a given, haha.


7. Anyone who is weak, goes to therapy for it and is proud of his relieving action.[/quote?

Huh?
 sweetblue62
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 35
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/11/2011 9:26:44 PM
The sad thing is....
I have been physically abused
Lied to
treated like garbage
disrespected
even had my kids treated bad
as far as I know I have not been cheated on. (no clues or questions)
I am very forgiving too.
The one who abused me, was gone quickly
treated me bad and disrespected me, I tolerated a bit longer, but not too long
treat my kids bad, you're outta there!!!
That is why I am now looking for a good man who will love me, respect me, treat me like a lady and take care of me.
I deserve it.
 Real_ace
Joined: 9/3/2011
Msg: 36
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/11/2011 9:46:07 PM
I've been accused of everything in this thread and then some in one relationship.

So that leads me to conclude that a BIG deal breaker is being constantly and FALSELY accused is a HUGE deal breaker that likely falls under severe mental illness or mental abuse!

I would rather try to resolve a cheater situation than to live with somebody who would not trust an HONEST man..

Other than that, I am very tolerant and I think everybody needs to have more tolerance with each other.
I also think (from experience) anger can be brought on by the attitude of a partner!
I have always been one of the most patient and tolerant men I have ever known but I reached the point, in the fore mentioned relationship, that I became angry. I am not an angry man and never will be.
 msinnocuous
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 37
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/11/2011 9:56:34 PM
In no particular order,
1) Constantly talking about your ex (Because nothing says sexy like ****ing about the woman or women that wronged you).
2) Poor conversation skills (You must penetrate my mind before I even consider letting you penetrate my body. This does not mean I want you to stab me between the ears. I just want to know that your knowledge base isn't limited to episodes of Maury, the Dr. Seuss book you might have read in first grade, or things that go vroom).
3) The inability to take a joke...ever (In the words of joker, "Why so serious?" We all have our quirks and neuroses. Why not celebrate them with clever humor and wit?)
4) Action Overkill - (I love trying out new venues and meeting new people, but not every day needs to be an action adventure damn it! Sometimes you really just want to sit on the couch and cuddle.)
5) *$%holism - Being an ***hole (that is constantly complaining, having to have it your way- every day, and arguing for the sake of arguing) does not mean you are confident. It just means you're an arrogant *&^hole. Nobody likes an ***hole - myself included.

That is all... for now
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 38
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/11/2011 10:00:31 PM

I also think (from experience) anger can be brought on by the attitude of a partner!


Everyone tends to believe in their own stance.

He thought my breaking up w/ him for his anger issues was really a miniscule reason. I on the other hand saw his anger issues as a major compatibility issue. Obviously therein lied our differences.

Fact is, I started realizing some patterns. He could be angry & irritable at me even when I wasn't the source of his anger. He'd lash out to me like I was the one who made him angry. ... I started to realize he could get very easily angered by his 4 year old nephew too when the nephew got a little mischievous, as a lot of 4-yr-olds do. ...... No doubt, if a 4 year old who doesn't know any better can cause a grown man to become a sour, angry prick ... I think that's telling of something, if not a lot already, about volatile his temper really is.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 39
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what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/12/2011 2:01:20 AM

Fact is, I started realizing some patterns. He could be angry & irritable at me even when I wasn't the source of his anger. He'd lash out to me like I was the one who made him angry


OOH, that reminded me of another

Someone who either uses their PMT as an excuse to treat people with no respect, exagerates the effects of it for the same ends or is a genuine sufferer but chooses martyrdom over treatment

Passive aggressive behaviour as well as outright aggressive behaviour too

Wouldnt tolerate either from mates of either gender so certainly wont put up with them from a partner
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 40
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what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/12/2011 5:30:22 AM
So; for the women out there; how many would be able to deal with a SO who is a crossdresser? I came out to my ex five years in. Initially, she said it was O.K.. then she admitted to the therapist she would never have married me if she had known, and then three years, divorced me because of it. See my profile for more info.
 free4all131220
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 41
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/12/2011 5:54:10 AM
oh you know my uncle John? small world
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 42
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/12/2011 6:03:08 AM

you meet someone, get to know them, they only want sex, odds you ever meeting them again slim to none, ergo odds of getting caught that much slimmer..


It's not what a man does in front of you that determines his character but, what he does when he believes he will never be found out.

OT,,,,,,many characteristics that I find most unappealing in any human. Then again, those wouldn't be deal "breakers" as much as they would be deal "stoppers", as in, things that are exposed to me while I'm getting to know a person. I'm not one to just "fall" for another. There must be some attraction, which involves their character.
 Orgulloso
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 43
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/12/2011 6:15:21 AM
OP,

I agree with the other's comments.

Uh...cheating because you had a "weak moment"? Okay, I'm no George Clooney but when in my late 20's into my 30's (was married) I was in the travel industry and with all of the travel came opportunities to cheat. Beer goggles made me look like George Clooney lol. With the good Lord as my witness I never broke my vows. One poster noted, it's about respect; both to your wife and YOURSELF.

Sadly, my wife didn't subscribe to the same rules or didn't have the fortitude to remain faithful. And as most posted, that I could not forgive.

Peace,

G
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 44
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what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/12/2011 7:12:52 AM
Re: Toilet seat. In one relationship, what I was amazed about, was that she insisted that I put the seat down, but she refused to put the lid down. That demonstrated to me that she felt it was all about her, not anything else. It was one of the things that made me realize she really didn't care about anyone else.
 creme_ofthecrop
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 45
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/12/2011 8:29:39 AM
ask girls on first dates if they've ever cheated on a bf before, if they say yes I don't go on a second date with them, I don't care if they haven't done it to me, if they've done it once they'll do it again. Yep I've stopped dating girls when I found out they've cheated on prior bf's


so if a girl lies to you about cheating so you dont brreak up with her after you have voiced your concerns is it then her fault??
?
 Mort Meeks
Joined: 1/30/2006
Msg: 46
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what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/12/2011 10:43:00 AM
A couple of things have driven me out of relationships before. One woman simply would not believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. She was always trying to guess what I *really* meant. I would say, "A." She would say, "Do you mean B? Are you trying to say C? My friends say you couldn't possibly mean A. What about D?" I am not a yeller, but I found myself yelling at the phone with her, it was so frustrating. One time she did something that another guy might have taken offense at, but I was okay with it. She asked me about it, and I said it was fine. Then she said, "But you can't really feel that way, because my friends say nobody could. So I feel like you're not being truthful with me." So I'm being a good dude, but she can't believe I'm that good, so I must be lying. I still shake my head over that one.

Another woman was really nice to be around much of the time, but at other times she was so incessantly negative about everything in her life that I just got sick of hearing it. She had no interest in fixing any of it, just complaining about it. The constant complaining was really bringing me down, and her bitter attitude was unattractive. I told her that any number of times, but she apparently couldn't stop, so I ended it.

I dated my last girlfriend for nine months before I figured out that she really didn't think I was anything special at all. Didn't think I was especially smart or funny or kind, or that I had potential to do very good things. She was basically looking for a husband and father to start a family. And some of the things I thought and said, she didn't understand at all. I got tired of trying to explain myself. We were probably headed toward marriage, and we would have been miserable. So if I figure out that if someone doesn't really appreciate me -- not that I'm God's gift, but surely I'm special to you in some way -- there's no point in going on.

Also, girls who have collections of severed heads in their basements. I think I've finally learned my lesson on that one. I think.
 Mort Meeks
Joined: 1/30/2006
Msg: 47
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what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/12/2011 10:50:08 AM
Ooh! I thought of another one. I went out a few times with this one little crazy chick. I don't mean that disparagingly, it's just a thumbnail description. She was a lot of fun to do things with, but pretty soon it got to the point that she was completely unreliable. We would say, let's meet at a certain place at a certain time, and an hour past that time -- no girl, no phone call, nothing. Next day she would call and tell me some wacky story about what happened to her the night before. I mean, it wasn't her fault! She couldn't help it! A bear chased her up a tree or something. Anyway, after two or three of these incidents, I stopped calling her. I mean, I don't know if you're just unreliable or if your life really is full of hungry bears, but either way, I can't keep hanging around waiting for you. Good luck and God bless.

So, being unreliable is a deal-breaker for me.
 Smilingeyes10
Joined: 5/3/2010
Msg: 48
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/12/2011 11:39:41 AM
Deal breakers include:-

Unkind, disrespectful and unforgiving
Liars and cheaters
Bad hygiene, body and environment.
Abusive verbally, emotionally or physically


All of the above I would, and have walked away from...

Problems can be worked on if both parties are willing. I personally would attempt to work on an issue rather than walk away, but sometimes there are no magical solutions and no matter how much you attempt to rectify a problem, it is sometimes impossible to achieve a satisfactory resolution.
 creme_ofthecrop
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 49
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/12/2011 11:51:33 AM
mort you are hilarious..lol bear chased her up a tree
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 50
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what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/12/2011 12:10:14 PM
I just found this kind of interesting, and it kind of links back to a point I made earlier about "why" many people cheat


Uh...cheating because you had a "weak moment"? Okay, I'm no George Clooney but when in my late 20's into my 30's (was married) I was in the travel industry and with all of the travel came opportunities to cheat. Beer goggles made me look like George Clooney lol. With the good Lord as my witness I never broke my vows.
.

Lots of travel. off all over the place doing a job you enjoy,,, how peachy for YOU

And then


Sadly, my wife didn't subscribe to the same rules or didn't have the fortitude to remain faithful.


Gee. how ungrateful of her for being "allowed" to spend all that time home alone while you were off travelling

Some women are just never satisfied I guess
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