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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try      Home login  
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 VirtuallyLove
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 76
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I don't know, CO. Seems like you're being a tad picky to me. I mean, who of us can truthfully say that at one time or another we haven't impregnated girlfriends while being married and beating our wives and dealing cocaine?? I mean, how are us mere mortals supposed to stand a chance against such hifalutin standards??
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 77
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what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/13/2011 3:41:57 PM
PMSL @ virtuallylove, have to admit my own sense of humour kicked in after reading that too and the first thought I had was you'd have to be a masochist to date that one if thats the kind of things she makes partners turn to after being around her for a while
 VirtuallyLove
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 78
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/13/2011 3:50:52 PM
CO:

"I should stop this picky attitude I've built up....start looking for mortals....
then again....Sweetheart seems to be of hifalutin standards, so I may have lucked out finally"

So you found a veritable god...good for you. But where does that leave the rest of us crack-addicted, cocaine-dealin', heroin/drano-snortin', wife/dog/kid-beating, philandering and wig-wearing regular guys??

Damn, this is so depressing.
 BookWormFairy2011
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 79
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/13/2011 3:55:03 PM

or would you simply walk and and start all over AGAIN?


Sensing some frustration here. I've felt that way once or twice.

As far as deal breakers go, there's our preferences and then there are must-haves. I'd *like* a relationship with someone who is musically on a similar plane to me. Music really affected my life as a kid growing up, and helped me out a ton. However, if I don't get that wish, there are ways to work around it.

There are other things, such as faith, that can affect every aspect of my life. So if a person has no interest in following the Bible and/or is not a Christian...well, that wouldn't be a good romantic match. I truly need my partner to be on the same wavelength as me here. If there are, it means we have similar goals and values in life. Can I be friends with someone who is other than Christian? Sure! One of my pals from way back is a Witch. We have some interesting discussions. I just simply wouldn't date a person who isn't of my faith, because they are not a prospective marriage partner down the road.

My other deal breaker is smoking. My throat gets very scratchy and sore when I'm around it, not to mention my incredibly strong opinion on cigarette smoke. I was pretty much the crusader against it for awhile so... I just couldn't see something like that working. A past smoker... that's different. But it would have to be a case where they had already put smoking behind them.

Everything else in life is pretty much work-throughable in my book.

In the past I have not walked away from these situations, particularly the prior, and it has a lot to do with why I am in the position I am in today. This was something I learned from and plan not to repeat!!
 karpe2011
Joined: 10/2/2011
Msg: 80
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/13/2011 3:59:23 PM
Cheating and abuse. Not negotiable!
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 81
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what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/13/2011 4:31:14 PM
Cheating...forgave once and found that was his ticket to do it again.
Lying...forgave only to have my eyes open to some are cursed with a forked tongue.
Abuse...forgave till the honeymoon was over.

No second chances now, one way ticket.
 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 82
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/13/2011 5:49:43 PM
msinnocuous

1) Constantly talking about your ex (Because nothing says sexy like ****ing about the woman or women that wronged you).


Thats right about when you say... "Do I remind you of her or something?"

That should shut them up quick
 msinnocuous
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 83
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/13/2011 8:55:24 PM
I like the cut of your jib.

This idea pleases me!

Thanks

 RTR42
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 84
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/13/2011 10:39:30 PM
My deal breaker would be if she was an Auburn fan .. Roll Tide ! ...
 Rain587
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 85
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/13/2011 10:59:52 PM
Physical and mental abuse, drug addiction, and cheating whether emotional or physical.

No, I'm not perfect but I will not give into sex because it was offered to me and I just may never see him again. I'm not weak as you say you are OP but, then again, I am woman..
 frijolera_ninja
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 86
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/13/2011 11:40:41 PM
Physical, mental, verbal or financial abuse towards me my kids or my dog (my cat I could understand).
 jj.wills
Joined: 10/31/2011
Msg: 87
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/14/2011 12:03:56 AM
Selfishness ... has many faces. I despise all of them: lying, inconsideration, plus all the ones mentioned so far including mental instability. Ouch, that's a tough one. Been there.

yea ... but just one lie or one act of disrespect and I simply: vanish. Why wait investing precious emotions while it gets worse.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 88
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/14/2011 12:39:10 AM
For me, it's a lack of trust, especially if she's been unfaithful. With that, I cannot see how the situation could be modififed hense why I'd be gone bye bye.
 sassyinredding
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 89
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 90
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/14/2011 11:05:13 AM
Is it cheating when women throw themselves at a man in front of you? I mean, really what is he supposed to do because he really does not even try to have that type of female attention.


Anastasia,

In my experience, it's all about how he handles the attention from the opposite sex. With attractive people, this is a very important component to building trust, and they need to learn how to deal with it effectively. I have a weakness for stunning men and along with that comes admirers, some quite bold. Most ethical attractive men i have known had it down to an art form before i came along. Most will dismiss a woman before she even get a chance to intrude. That's your answer right there.
 Okay201150
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 91
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/14/2011 5:24:47 PM
Being on anti-depressants. It comes out eventually and that's something that should be spoken about up front. I left the relationship.
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 92
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/14/2011 5:33:13 PM
deal breakers are cheating. and verbal abuse. yeah, i tried working it out over and over until i did walk out after getting fed up. but we got back together after a long while and so far so good. i dunno in the nearest future what will happen. divorce maybe. just kidding.
 creme_ofthecrop
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 93
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/14/2011 5:42:32 PM
kudos to you, everyone else seems to be so perfect as if they are flawless
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 94
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/14/2011 9:17:04 PM
what Maffers said. It's not about being flawless and if we were there would be no challenge behind the relationship, you need challenge. The point is it's about what people are willing to accept and not accept. Deal breakers are the things that are immediately not acceptable.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 95
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/16/2011 12:16:07 PM
Well said, Maffers.

OP, you seem to think that cheating would be okay because we’re fallible human beings who make mistakes, and mistakes should be forgiven.

Forgiveness should benefit the person who has been wronged, and comes about in his/her own time. It’s not about turning a blind eye to bad behavior and allowing it to continue.

I can forgive my ex-husband for cheating on me because I don’t need to nurture resentment for the rest of my life…but forgiving him did NOT mean I had to continue the marriage.

And…asking for our opinions and then slamming posters who aren’t in line with your thinking…not cool.
 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 96
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/16/2011 12:21:41 PM
For me....
it would be cheating, and abuse(verbal or physical).
Those are deal breakers that would make me say goodbye, and not look back.
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 97
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/16/2011 12:38:40 PM

everyone else seems to be so perfect as if they are flawless

If my flaws are a deal-breaker to a man, I wouldn't expect him to stay with me. Likewise, you should accept that many of us wouldn't want to be with a cheater.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 98
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/16/2011 2:02:38 PM
creme_ofthecrop

....what if you cheated and were the one seekig forgiveness after a freudian slip if you will, would you expect forgiveness? or be expected to be dealt with the same way you proclaim to deal with the cheater???


I wouldn't cheat. I have never cheated. I will never cheat. I always behave as if my partner was standing right beside me. I won't flirt with a man when I am in a relationship, I won't kiss another man when I am in a relationship, and I won't lay down with another man when I am in a relationship, I won't touch or be touched by another man when I am in a relationship.

It's an unforgivable betrayal of trust - That's my view - others may not agree with me as is their right - but that's my code of conduct and I'm not changing that part of who I am for anybody.
 justin5502
Joined: 9/13/2011
Msg: 99
 tabby-ann
Joined: 11/6/2011
Msg: 100
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/16/2011 5:12:43 PM
I would say a dealbreaker would have to be drug abuse or physical abuse.

I can honestly not say cheating because I have done it once (learned from it and will never do it again) and know how terrible it makes you feel. I learned from my mistake and will only give a person one chance if they really want to redeem themselves with me. If they truly love me and it was in some words my actions that could have made it happen. Sure they could have broken up with me or say no, but honestly people make mistakes and if they are truly sincere about what they had done to me then I will help repair what had happened with them.

Hurting animals or my children also I would not stand.
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