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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try      Home login  
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 jj.wills
Joined: 10/31/2011
Msg: 87
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?Page 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Selfishness ... has many faces. I despise all of them: lying, inconsideration, plus all the ones mentioned so far including mental instability. Ouch, that's a tough one. Been there.

yea ... but just one lie or one act of disrespect and I simply: vanish. Why wait investing precious emotions while it gets worse.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 88
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/14/2011 12:39:10 AM
For me, it's a lack of trust, especially if she's been unfaithful. With that, I cannot see how the situation could be modififed hense why I'd be gone bye bye.
 sassyinredding
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 89
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 90
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/14/2011 11:05:13 AM
Is it cheating when women throw themselves at a man in front of you? I mean, really what is he supposed to do because he really does not even try to have that type of female attention.


Anastasia,

In my experience, it's all about how he handles the attention from the opposite sex. With attractive people, this is a very important component to building trust, and they need to learn how to deal with it effectively. I have a weakness for stunning men and along with that comes admirers, some quite bold. Most ethical attractive men i have known had it down to an art form before i came along. Most will dismiss a woman before she even get a chance to intrude. That's your answer right there.
 Okay201150
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 91
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/14/2011 5:24:47 PM
Being on anti-depressants. It comes out eventually and that's something that should be spoken about up front. I left the relationship.
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 92
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/14/2011 5:33:13 PM
deal breakers are cheating. and verbal abuse. yeah, i tried working it out over and over until i did walk out after getting fed up. but we got back together after a long while and so far so good. i dunno in the nearest future what will happen. divorce maybe. just kidding.
 creme_ofthecrop
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 93
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/14/2011 5:42:32 PM
kudos to you, everyone else seems to be so perfect as if they are flawless
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 94
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/14/2011 9:17:04 PM
what Maffers said. It's not about being flawless and if we were there would be no challenge behind the relationship, you need challenge. The point is it's about what people are willing to accept and not accept. Deal breakers are the things that are immediately not acceptable.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 95
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/16/2011 12:16:07 PM
Well said, Maffers.

OP, you seem to think that cheating would be okay because we’re fallible human beings who make mistakes, and mistakes should be forgiven.

Forgiveness should benefit the person who has been wronged, and comes about in his/her own time. It’s not about turning a blind eye to bad behavior and allowing it to continue.

I can forgive my ex-husband for cheating on me because I don’t need to nurture resentment for the rest of my life…but forgiving him did NOT mean I had to continue the marriage.

And…asking for our opinions and then slamming posters who aren’t in line with your thinking…not cool.
 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 96
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/16/2011 12:21:41 PM
For me....
it would be cheating, and abuse(verbal or physical).
Those are deal breakers that would make me say goodbye, and not look back.
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 97
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/16/2011 12:38:40 PM

everyone else seems to be so perfect as if they are flawless

If my flaws are a deal-breaker to a man, I wouldn't expect him to stay with me. Likewise, you should accept that many of us wouldn't want to be with a cheater.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 98
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/16/2011 2:02:38 PM
creme_ofthecrop

....what if you cheated and were the one seekig forgiveness after a freudian slip if you will, would you expect forgiveness? or be expected to be dealt with the same way you proclaim to deal with the cheater???


I wouldn't cheat. I have never cheated. I will never cheat. I always behave as if my partner was standing right beside me. I won't flirt with a man when I am in a relationship, I won't kiss another man when I am in a relationship, and I won't lay down with another man when I am in a relationship, I won't touch or be touched by another man when I am in a relationship.

It's an unforgivable betrayal of trust - That's my view - others may not agree with me as is their right - but that's my code of conduct and I'm not changing that part of who I am for anybody.
 justin5502
Joined: 9/13/2011
Msg: 99
 tabby-ann
Joined: 11/6/2011
Msg: 100
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/16/2011 5:12:43 PM
I would say a dealbreaker would have to be drug abuse or physical abuse.

I can honestly not say cheating because I have done it once (learned from it and will never do it again) and know how terrible it makes you feel. I learned from my mistake and will only give a person one chance if they really want to redeem themselves with me. If they truly love me and it was in some words my actions that could have made it happen. Sure they could have broken up with me or say no, but honestly people make mistakes and if they are truly sincere about what they had done to me then I will help repair what had happened with them.

Hurting animals or my children also I would not stand.
 Cole.Miller39
Joined: 6/6/2011
Msg: 101
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/16/2011 8:04:44 PM
For me betrayal would definitely be a deal breaker. Without trust in a relationship you have absolutely nothing of value. The person that cheats emotionally has started to step out of the relationship. So I boot a gal out and never look back.
 Amorado
Joined: 11/23/2010
Msg: 102
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/17/2011 2:36:26 PM
I can't believe that no one has listed this. Forget cheating, a cheater will not ruin your life. What about someone who's goal is to rob & bankrupt you, to clean you out completely?

Scammers who try to find out how much I make, where I bank, what credit cards I have. Asking for the exact spelling of my last name. Looking up my address without my permission. Asking if my home is paid off.

Women running extensive credit checks on me without my permission through their jobs so that they can rob me later.

Many women just want to move into my home with their many children with me picking up the tab.

Women looking for me to buy them a car. Fill it with gas & pay for the insurance.

Look on POF. You will see women brazenly stating "looking for a man with money".

A cheater? Who cares about that? Find out, move on. People please!
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 103
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/17/2011 6:32:57 PM
Other than the obvious cheating, lying, addictions, abuse (verbal, mental and physical) and others...

I'm going to say someone that is closed minded. You cannot have a debate because they are always right.

To answer the question if a deal breaker takes place I'm out the door. I'm not going to put up with BS for anyone.
 SoGABloomer
Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 104
what is the deal breaker in any relationship, would you leave or try to work it out first?
Posted: 11/18/2011 8:15:46 AM
Recently a guy (met on POF) I had seen few times decided that when I asked him twice about him not having time for relationship due to working(works for self) that his situation was not going to work for me......and even texted me to say that much. Since he won't respond to texts, email, messages and he even got off POF(or told me he did ) as said he wanted to see me exclusively but then I suppose wanted me to waitt around for him while he was working.
He did say once that "the work issue for me is like you feel about alcohol; "I will not be with an alcoholic so I guess he meant a 'deal breaker.'
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