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 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 101
Hate mailPage 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Honestly, I'm sure lots of guys don't bother reading any profiles at all. Maybe just a glimpse for an icebreaker:

Okay…a guy sees your thumbnail pic and is curious…clicks on your profile link and there you are in all your, what, 2 x 3 (ish) glory. He wants to contact you, but what to say? “How r u hun?” won’t cut it; he’s gotta know a bit more.

So he begins the drudgery of attempting to read and…what?! Uh, oh… your profile comments eliminated him before he even approached the gate. That’s gotta hurt. And just who does this (bleep) think she is? Now his eggshell ego is cracked, he’s pissed, and somebody’s gotta pay.

Really I don’t know. Some people are bent.

I can see that I’ve been lucky. I’ve gotten some pervy messages but nothing hateful. My profile is hidden from searches, and it’s staying that way.
 SoBayNative
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 102
Hate mail
Posted: 11/14/2011 1:10:13 PM
Yeah, I agree with the poster who said when she had a nice profile she got trashed. Me too. Then I wrote a ***k you one and got dozens of emails daily. I finally deleted my pics and I still get mails. When I first started here and was so full of excitement and hope I got the nastiest emails. A lot of women I know decided in the first few weeks this site was a joke and they just stay for the forums.
 ChrisD1957
Joined: 12/20/2010
Msg: 103
Hate mail
Posted: 11/14/2011 1:23:10 PM
There are can be a wide variety of reasons that you draw the wrath of the insecure, lonely or self pitying. The excercise of trying to figure out what thoughts run through those minds is probably at the very least a waste of time.

I would assume that most of them, after being rejected numerous times, feel the need to rant. Your profile is quite specific as to what attracts you. For what ever reason they take it personal as they find themselves under the "Need not apply" section. They feel better for letting you know what they think. Your response should be a laugh and a click. They are harmless and probably should be pitied and definitely should be ignored.
 CrazyCanuckz
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 104
Hate mail
Posted: 11/14/2011 1:40:40 PM

Who noticed 'negativity'? I'm thinking: "Nice tits." Nice tits FTW.



Key word is seriously. Thinking with your other brain doeesn't count ok? lol
Btw you must be really hard up I don't find her remotely attractive, especially with those bedroom eyes.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 106
Hate mail
Posted: 11/14/2011 6:59:36 PM
This kinda almost reminds me of the rape victims being blamed because they were promiscuous or their skirt too short! Sole focus appears to be in trying to place the blame on the person that is asking the question rather than in figuring out the possible sources of extreme dislikes like that.


No woman deserves to be raped, however, some women use poor judgment, and put themselves in precarious situations where it's difficult to feel empathy towards them. Case in point: the woman who was raped by Mike Tyson. Did she deserve to be raped? No---but some might say she was "encouraging it" by going up to his hotel room, then rejecting his advances.

It's the same situation here, OP. Do men have the right to send you hate mail because they feel excluded by your preferences? No----but some might say you were "encouraging it" by having such a confrontational profile that offends the sensibilities of certain "thin-skinned" individuals.

If you don't intend to change the wording of your profile to be less abrasive, I'd strongly suggest you either develop a thicker skin yourself, or start implementing the block feature---instead of starting a "Poor me, I'm the victim of unfair verbal abuse" thread about something that is in your power to minimize.
 StraylightRunn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 107
Hate mail
Posted: 11/14/2011 7:45:37 PM
Centergame. I've noticed you come in here and throw around Social Psychology as if it's some sort of fact that they're right and everyone else is wrong. In case others might feel that way Social Psychology is just one of many aspects of Psychology. While Social psychologists might have one opinion about it, Psycho-analysts, Humanists, and Behaviorists might have others. What science indicates Social Psychologists are more accurate than others and that they should be listened to more than another?


ALL the research material out there backs up these points Ive made. You haven’t even looked into it have you? Your views are just heresay , no science, fact, or stats behind it at all.


Have you looked at OPPOSING views and made rational decisions based on your education, or simply found views that agreed with your own and then stated them as fact? Give me a break.


Ouch! That's intense, and coming from Mother Theresa, no less.
If you tell the typical American this quote, and they'll freak out on you, hate on you, and tell you you're not good enough to be an American or some such shit, like I get told a lot. Most American's can't take ANY criticism, even if it's constructive, and will just tell you to get out of the country (love it or leave it), if you don't like something. I wonder if they told that to Mother Theresa, too.


As if Mother Teresa is some sort of symbol without faults? As if she is better to judge others than say my mom?

Mother Theresa had a host of flaws and personal ideologies that were absolutely sickening. Also she wasn't the best judge of character either.
Examples of Mother Teresa's code of ethics:
Mother Teresa accepted money from the Duvalier Family and, in turn, praised their rule. ( Dont' know who the Duvalier family is? Do some research.) The Duvalier family were stealing from the poor and giving money to Mother Teresa, and she never used the money to help the poor!

I think it's funny that you use emotional icons in your argument but using emotional icons doesn't make your arguments true.


LOL. Are you comparing OP profile to mine?


When did you even post in this thread prior? Who is even talking to you?
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 108
view profile
History
Hate mail
Posted: 11/14/2011 7:51:12 PM
@centergame: I was actually referring to roger33's profile. It gets rather confusing, trying to figure out who said what when some people don't bother with quotes.

Just in case you have trouble with reading comprehension, MY views and opinions are based on MY experience living in the real world, dealing with real, live people. That is more pertinent than all the books, research, and statistics you can find.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 109
Hate mail
Posted: 11/14/2011 10:12:55 PM
Op



WTG girl, you know what you want and what you don't want. You know who you are and how you wish to present yourself...you aren't sugar coating yourself to make a bitter pill easier to swallow... what you are saying is how you honestly view yourself and your situation and what works for you and more importantly what would make you happy.

Is it kosher, it is flattering to those you deem undesirable, is it a typical woman's profile...NO..cause you don't want to be viewed as a typical woman but as one who stands out and you got that hands down!

Now what I dont get is those who cant contemplate that it is HER PROFILE..to put whatever she wants in it. It is her style, it is her view, it is her way of life ...and the person who responds to it...will respond cause they like what they see in it.

She isn't looking to appeal to 100's of people and then have to go thru endless first chats to find out that the man she is looking for isn't one of them.

However, this is a free site OP, and that means...anyone can belong... even 13 year old in physical years or in mentality. Some people if they get the concept that you feel you are superior to them will want to take you down a notch or two...you set yourself up for that but the bottom line is why are you going to worry about hate mail, it is from someone who really shouldn't matter to you at all. I had a guy who changed his profile and then asked me to meet him and then changed it back to show he was a smoker and made it that I was missing out cause I didn't wish to date a smoker...I didnt care especially since I am a cancer survivor. Just laugh at em and then block delete...and if you can tell by the subject line it is hateful just delete it and block them without reading it.
 timetogo3223
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 110
Hate mail
Posted: 11/15/2011 5:00:23 AM
I get my hate mail posted publicly on the forums for all to see. I find it amusing and consider the sources. I am well hated on the POF forums by some. Don't pay 'em no never mind.
 TSH71
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 111
Hate mail
Posted: 11/17/2011 8:56:02 PM
Let me play devil’s advocate for a moment. If a guy started a similar thread to the OP and had a similar profile, he’d probably end up being judged more harshly, merely because of his gender. The majority of commenters rallying around the OP would probably be pointing to his negative ad as the cause of his hate mail, think he is a complete ogre or worse, likely tell him to quit whining and man up or maybe even vote to have the thread deleted. Although I understand being a woman isn’t always easy or enviable, men don’t seem to get as much understanding for their grievances, even if well-founded.
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 112
Hate mail
Posted: 11/17/2011 9:13:00 PM
I wouldnt waste any energy on trying to figure out the minds of sickos.
I received one this morning full of obscenities, vitriol, insults and he just ranted on and on. It was a guy that I didnt want to meet and I hardly remember him to be honest.
He is very sick and you are going to find them on dating sites. He didnt even have the guts to load a proper pic of himself. I imagine he sends his poorly spelt, badly phrased filthy messages to many women... It is a very sad situation...

Delete, block and move on.
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 113
Hate mail
Posted: 11/17/2011 9:16:07 PM
timetogo3223

HOw do you do that? Just for the next one I may receive.......Post them on here from personal messages???
 hotmerlot
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 114
Hate mail
Posted: 11/19/2011 3:12:56 PM
I try to keep my age requirement for men higher, they generally have a better sense of self and better manners.
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 115
view profile
History
Hate mail
Posted: 11/27/2011 11:36:21 AM
Its just life I'm afraid

The world is full of unhinged fruitcakes that's for sure. I dont seem to get much mail lately or responses. So you look at your pic and your profile and you consider putting it up for people to review but then you leave yourself open to the crazies again.

It is disappointing when you dont get a reply but only the seriously disturbed would feel the need to send hate mail because of that or because they have looked at a profile that has views they dont agree with.

The beauty of the society we live in is the fact we have the freedom to say pretty much as we like and express how we feel. No one has the right to abuse us for that.

As has already been said. if you dont agree with a profile or dont like a response you have had then move on.

There are after all....Plenty of fish in the sea
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 116
Hate mail
Posted: 11/27/2011 4:21:29 PM
having to explain to each of those I am not interested in individually "why not" in most polite way just to get insults back - I figured it is easier like this.


Hmm, having read your profile, I'm surprised to find that you would think you "had" to explain. Personally, I do not feel a need to explain; it's just a simple, "Thanks, but I don't think we are a match." If they write to ask why I think that, I do not respond; I do not have to explain myself to anyone, nor do I feel obligated to respond again just b/c they asked. I did the proper thing--acknowledging receipt of their first email--and so I have satisfied my understanding of the proprieties. I go through phases where I don't even respond to the first email if I'm not intersted, too; it seems that some people prefer nothing rather than the rejection email.

You could try deleting the part about race and see if it helps reduce your flow of hate mail (and just ignore ,or respond blandly--no explanation--to, anyone whom you do not wish to continue a correspondence with). If that did reduce the hate mail, then you would have a better understanding of what was motivating folks to write it in the first place.

And just to make this clear: I'm not suggesting that you change it to get less hate mail, but rather to figure out if that line is triggering a lot of the hate mail. Once you know, it's up to you to decide what to do with the information.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 117
Hate mail
Posted: 11/27/2011 4:44:25 PM
Geez, people. The OP isn't complaining about it--she was genuinely curious about why people would take the time and waste the energy writing hate mail in response to someone's profile. Get a grip. Sometimes questions really are just an expression of intellectual curiousity.
 quarked
Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 118
view profile
History
Hate mail
Posted: 11/27/2011 11:15:01 PM
My guess is that the majority of space in here profile is dedicated to what she doesn't want than to who she is, or what she wants. Not that it's an excuse for hate mail.
 Happy2Day
Joined: 2/10/2011
Msg: 119
Hate mail
Posted: 11/28/2011 4:06:09 PM
I have gotten hate mail, prior to editing my profile.

Men hate lists. I understand you are selective, but excluding men hrts their feelings, and they "swing back" with hate mail.

Ironically, I bet I get opposite hate mail as OP. I prefer black men - but if I post that every white guy slams me. This is all ironic, because white men around here don't even like me because I'm "too big". But still, I can not have my preference in profile without being slammed!
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 120
Hate mail
Posted: 11/28/2011 4:19:49 PM
I had a girl who dated me several times; and never once failed to mention how much she hated me; as her eyes sparkled, and smile looked lovely.

*sigh*

That girl had game.



I miss booboo; :( meathead
 Alpha78
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 121
Hate mail
Posted: 11/28/2011 4:45:26 PM

I had a girl who dated me several times; and never once failed to mention how much she hated me; as her eyes sparkled, and smile looked lovely.

*sigh*

That girl had game.



I miss boo; my meathead


Not sure what you are smoking, "boo" but it seems somehow tasty...
 kmxplore51
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 122
Hate mail
Posted: 11/28/2011 5:16:34 PM
To Alpha78:

Goodness and evil co-exist in the human DNA. We see goodness and evil in our everyday lives in different degrees, in different shapes and shades, and also in polite and impolite forms. The experiences that you and others have shared in this forum regarding hate mail are but rather minor manifestations of such human frailties. I am sorry that you are subjected to such ugliness. The list of cruelties by mankind to themselves and to others is endless. We may not escape evil in any form but we can decide where to direct our energies to foster goodness.
 EasyPeasy72
Joined: 11/15/2009
Msg: 123
Hate mail
Posted: 11/28/2011 5:52:12 PM
"haha.. i had a guy write me .. and tell me that i was "too much of a princess".. and that i would suffer thru many useless relationships.. then die ALONE.."

You mean you are a custodian princess? ROFLOL>
 StealthyNinjaKitty
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 124
Hate mail
Posted: 11/28/2011 8:12:33 PM
Who has time to write and send hate mail? Wait...I do, except it seems like a colossal waste of time and effort.

Really, I'd much rather spend my time correcting the grammar and spelling in profiles.
 chinadol6977
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 125
view profile
History
Hate mail
Posted: 11/28/2011 10:48:28 PM
Naw,save those emails for the ex...LOL

No,if I don't like someone why waste my time or effort....
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