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 AUTHOR
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 147
Hate mailPage 8 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
speaking for myself, I'm older now & I know what I want. Clearly most men who have contacted me have their sense of wants/entitlement that seems to outweigh mine...a smart lady in another thread said she overlooks bald & a few xtra lbs, & height if he is a smart nice guy (paraphrasing) I am on the same page as her...but most of the online men wanted every detail of their fantasy to be met...Anyone who thinks a middle aged woman will have no opinions, look like a penthouse spread & be a 24/7 nympho...OH & have loads of $$ & pay for everything- well that is delusional
 lacalli
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 148
Hate mail
Posted: 12/7/2011 5:02:02 PM
I have never received any hate mail and never sent any. Why people do it is a mystery, I suppose. Except there is no mystery in knowing that some people are just jerks and pretty ****ed up in the head. And the internet provides anonymity...so they indulge in their lowly behavior

I got an email once out of the blue from a man I didn't know who said he hoped I'd die alone in my bed (as vs. dying in my bed with a bunch of other people?) Creepy.
 john_in_bh
Joined: 12/25/2004
Msg: 149
Hate mail
Posted: 12/7/2011 7:42:11 PM
This is an interesting topic. I do agree with several of the posts, that the profile is just "asking for it". I think some of the guys get so tired of the rejection, and when they see a girl that writes stuff like that they just cant help themselves.

The funny thing is, although the OP clearly lets her "princess syndrome" (caused by too many men emailing her) shine through in her profile (yes even an overweight woman gets 100x more initial emails than guys..maybe the cleavage shot does the trick) almost every girl on POF HAS THE EXACT SAME LONG LIST OF REQUIREMENTS. So, at the very least she gets credit for being upfront.
 Alpha78
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 150
Hate mail
Posted: 12/7/2011 7:51:48 PM

The funny thing is, although the OP clearly lets her "princess syndrome" (caused by too many men emailing her)

The funny thing is actually that noone is considered less of a "princess" than myself. I actually prefer "coc*y" better, and it has nothing to do with my overweight looks!
 Here_In_Florida
Joined: 4/4/2011
Msg: 151
Hate mail
Posted: 12/7/2011 8:28:29 PM

POF HAS THE EXACT SAME LONG LIST OF REQUIREMENTS


Right, and the most common ones are the obvious ones:

"He must have a job, a car, not do drugs, party, cheat, have a job" and I'm thinking "Hey, I made the cut! Yay!

Then I email them....no response go figure.
 john_in_bh
Joined: 12/25/2004
Msg: 152
Hate mail
Posted: 12/7/2011 8:53:54 PM

"He must have a job, a car, not do drugs, party, cheat, have a job" and I'm thinking "Hey, I made the cut! Yay!

Then I email them....no response go figure.


Well most likely they did not include "all" of the requirements because *unlike* the OP she does not want all that hate mail.
 GoldinSFla
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 153
view profile
History
Hate mail
Posted: 12/8/2011 5:40:52 AM
I guess I'm lucky, I really haven't gotten much negative mail at all. Maybe two, three or four at most out all the messages I've received. I've gotten one or two not so nice responses here on the forum but that's it. Most guys that talk to me on POF have been quite nice.
I have as many preferences regarding what traits Im looking for in a potential mate as the thread starter, but I think my profile tends to come across as friendlier and I don't express my desires in a negative way, so I don't evoke the hostility that her profile does.

I'm not one to give unsolicited advice and I'm a supporter of freedom of expression, so Im not going to suggest that the OP change her profile. If she's happy with it and she feels it conveys what she wants and she believes that overall , its working towards helping her achieve her goal ,then she certainly has the right to leave it as it is.

I am, however a bit surprised that she's truly surprised with some of the responses she's getting. What you put out in life is what you tend to get back. Its not so hard to figure out why some guys are reacting poorly to her profile. Its negative to the point of bordering on hostile and so it evokes hostility in others. I personally would never send a hate filled email to someone because I didn't like their profile, but that's me. I'm not going to take what someone stranger writes in their plenty of fish dating profile to heart. However some people are sensitive and insecure and can take a profile that comes across as negative or mean-spirited personally. They will go on the offensive and write mean things
So alpha, that's the answer to your question regarding why people take the time to send messages like that to total strangers.
 funinsun32
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 154
Hate mail
Posted: 12/8/2011 6:21:16 AM
This is funny because just yesterday I sent a message to a guy letting him know that his one and only picture was "offensive". I wasn't cruel just to the point. The guy had one pic and he was completely naked for goodness sake (no his wanker wasn't in the shot, it was covered by the bathroom counter!). The only reason it even was brought to my attention was because he was on my "meet you" feature.
 Here_In_Florida
Joined: 4/4/2011
Msg: 155
Hate mail
Posted: 12/8/2011 6:27:27 AM

I guess I'm lucky, I really haven't gotten much negative mail at all. Maybe two, three or four at most out all the messages I've received. I've gotten one or two not so nice responses here on the forum but that's it. Most guys that talk to me on POF have been quite nice.
I have as many preferences regarding what traits Im looking for in a potential mate as the thread starter, but I think my profile tends to come across as friendlier and I don't express my desires in a negative way, so I don't evoke the hostility that her profile does.


Actually, I would think not, because you seem to come across very gentle, feminine (even in your pictures), and not even abrasive like so many others I've seen.
 GoldinSFla
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 156
view profile
History
Hate mail
Posted: 12/8/2011 10:10:05 AM

Actually, I would think not, because you seem to come across very gentle, feminine (even in your pictures), and not even abrasive like so many others I've seen.


Aww, thanks, what a sweet thing to say.
To be honest with you, I can be a bit of a demanding capital b myself, but I figure ,why give it all away at the begining? I like to wait until a guy gets to know me and like me, thinks I'm a doll , gets attached to me, THEN I retract the talons and start making him think that everything that is not to my liking, including the weather, is his fault.
 iesha23
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 157
view profile
History
Hate mail
Posted: 12/8/2011 10:50:52 AM
I had this a while ago, I ignored, ignored and ignored, finally he caught me on a bad day and I retailiated, rather nastily, to which he replied, "finally, I got your attention, tell me more about you". there's some strange people in the world :)
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 158
Hate mail
Posted: 12/8/2011 12:08:50 PM
once a week I get at least one
" you are a bigot, a racist, a shallow teen ager, shallow, no great catch yourself .. yadda yadda yadda"
it just reaffirms everything I already knew - they are not my market, and I am not their widget.
 happy_n_luckie
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 159
Hate mail
Posted: 12/11/2011 7:59:45 PM
I'm with you on that one Alpha....even with my Librian analytical mind...I am drawing a complete blank on this one!!! If I am not your cup of tea or you are not mine...move on...no need to harp on it.
 moutainbreeze
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 160
Hate mail
Posted: 12/12/2011 6:25:32 AM
That is just crazy. Someone sends you an email like that, just report them, delete it and block them. They will get removed from the system for harassing people like that. There are deranged people online and that sort of abuse is not tolerated on here. Report them and get away from them, you do not deserve that sort of abuse, no one does!!!
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 161
Hate mail
Posted: 12/12/2011 4:28:58 PM
well you do come off as sturn an aggressive some men dont like these types of women typically because they know you wont go down without a fight an wont put up with alot of bull s hit..

however i anit mad at ya i feel ya on the parts about not wanting anybody with bad hygien an looking like a hillbilly,multiple babys moms an lying about being tall but they show up an are the same height as you..ive been through that as well along with the other bull that comes along with this dating game. i to am 5'6 so if a guy claims to be 5'10 or 6foot an we meet an are both eye level obviously somebody lied an it wasnt me.

ive been called more then a few things an had that no wonder your single line thrown on me a few times so it's not just you.
 aarons916
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 162
Hate mail
Posted: 12/12/2011 5:52:22 PM
This has been a pretty entertaining thread but all I'm going to add is that the type of profile the OP has is probably the worst way of finding the kind of guy you're looking for. Why? Because think about it for a second, even if someone meets all your requirements, the simple fact that you have that many requirements is a turn off to anyone who isn't a complete pu$$y. Basically you turn away people who don't meet your requirements which is a good thing but you're also most likely turning away any good guy that does meet them because it's really not possible to have a long term relationship with someone like the OP

So you're basically left with the guys who meet your requirements but don't care that you have a princess complex because they're not looking for anything more than a fling anyway and won't have to put up with it for long. Oh and of course the guys who don't read your profile but they most likely go unnoticed anyway.

 Alpha78
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 163
Hate mail
Posted: 12/12/2011 6:09:35 PM
Why, thank you so much! Now I finally know who I am!
Too bad you completely missed the question actually asked!
Oh, and I wouldn't put those "pussies" down, they are actually of much tougher consistency than "balls" are...
 aarons916
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 164
Hate mail
Posted: 12/12/2011 6:33:09 PM

Why, thank you so much! Now I finally know who I am!
Too bad you completely missed the question actually asked!


I didn't miss the point at all, I read 8 pages that pretty much beat it to death but I get the feeling after reading so many profiles like yours that a lot of women on here aren't bright enough to understand that the checklist style profile is actually counter-productive to meeting the type of guy they say they want. So since the topic was pretty much beat to death I chose to go the constructive route.


Oh, and I wouldn't put those "pussies" down, they are actually of much tougher consistency than "balls" are...


I know I used the word "****" but since I wasn't using it in that way your statement makes no sense at all, not that I don't agree.
 flutteryng
Joined: 1/25/2010
Msg: 165
Hate mail
Posted: 12/12/2011 7:02:03 PM
Been here before!

Someone sent me a message while back about how I'm a failure as a Christian because I smoke. They continued in saying that I was a liar and a cheat... I had never spoken to that man before and it really hurt my feelings that he would pass judgement on me without knowing me... and then it made me laugh really hard because someone out there was so bored and ignorant (a bad combination) that they sent me a hateful message in an effort to piss me off. So when I get hatemail for being a tattooed, snake-owning, pierced Sunday school teacher I just ignore the trolls :-)
 Alpha78
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 166
Hate mail
Posted: 12/12/2011 7:29:47 PM

I didn't miss the point at all, I read 8 pages that pretty much beat it to death but I get the feeling after reading so many profiles like yours that a lot of women on here aren't bright enough to understand that the checklist style profile is actually counter-productive to meeting the type of guy they say they want. So since the topic was pretty much beat to death I chose to go the constructive route.

Yo - READ with UNDERSTANDING the MEANING! Not skipping over little text and seeing what you would like to see!
Question was why feel the need to write hateful stuff to someone you have never met or spoke to. Not to me per se, not how to find a quality man or if you like checklists or not!
Jeez!


I know I used the word "****" but since I wasn't using it in that way your statement makes no sense at all, not that I don't agree.

I should of just skipped that sentence, something told me that its context may be little too complicated for ya.
I was being ironic; those that you call "pussies" I may actually consider real man - by not recognizing themselves in things on my list as well as being sure of themselves enough not to be threatened by someone like me. Thank God there is plenty of them still out there!
 aarons916
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 167
Hate mail
Posted: 12/13/2011 4:11:02 AM

Yo - READ with UNDERSTANDING the MEANING! Not skipping over little text and seeing what you would like to see!
Question was why feel the need to write hateful stuff to someone you have never met or spoke to. Not to me per se, not how to find a quality man or if you like checklists or not!
Jeez!


... Are you kidding? I just said the topic was beaten to death over the last 8 pages and you say again to read with understanding? I guess that's par for the course in Texas... We get it, hate mail is bad, people have no life, blah blah blah, block them and move on with your life. But what you don't seem to get is a negative profile will receive negative attention. Repeat that 10 times, a negative profile will receive negative attention!

And yeah you're intellect is just beyond my grasp, Texans aren't dumb at all, the rest of the world just isn't on their level I guess. If that was your attempt at metaphor, I would seriously stop now.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 168
Hate mail
Posted: 12/13/2011 7:19:05 AM
But what you don't seem to get is a negative profile will receive negative attention. Repeat that 10 times, a negative profile will receive negative attention!


I'm in full agreement. I once had a profile that came across as adversarial and self-centered, and I got a lot of hate mail for it, as well as negging. I decided I would change it as an experiment.

Instead of saying I didn't want out-of-shape men, I said that living a healthy lifestyle and staying in shape were important to me, and I wanted a man who felt the same way. The hate mail and negging came to a stop.

With just a few strategic changes in wording, you can get your points across without being negative or offensive. It's definitely a social skill worth perfecting.
 lacalli
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 169
Hate mail
Posted: 12/13/2011 8:11:21 AM
Funny because when I first came on here I was so excited and I had this great profile (I thought) really sweet and hopeful and lots of pictures of me doing different things and all I got was hate mail. I still remember the shock.
Really quickly I realized this was not the medium for me to meet someone so I started changing my profile to entertain myself and it certainly wasn't nice and ever since then I've gotten tons of friendly emails. I can't remember the last mean email I got. So when guys talk about how the nice guy finishes last I think it's the same for women. I have female friends on here who I'd marry if we both swung that way and they don't get any emails at all.
I think it's so sad because this could be such a great way to meet someone. I do have guy friends from here but that's it.
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 170
Hate mail
Posted: 12/13/2011 8:27:37 AM

And yeah you're intellect is just beyond my grasp, Texans aren't dumb at all, the rest of the world just isn't on their level I guess.

Hey now. No need to drag Texas into this.
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